hellement

6422 pts · June 9, 2011


My nickname is "The Girthquake" I drink Jameson, like a boss. I have perfected the "dad bod", which is working out, and simultaneously eating high octane dog shit. I am an expert Pokémon trainer. I am an expert titty wrangler. I am certified in over 6 ethnicities. Video games are life. I literally play everything. Batman is the greatest superhero. If you are reading this, you are obligated to send me das boobs. This is mandatory.

Hulu. Assuming it hasn't been removed. But, within the past year, I've binged it on Hulu.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

For a sort-of "Break the Bat" story, that ends kind of unexpectedly, read the 75 part "Gotham Knights" series. Good from start to finish.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Hello, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC."

8 years ago | Likes 113 Dislikes 3

Sure, a kid does 30 speed and he's all cool and shit. I do 30 speed, and I'm an "addict" who just had a "heart attack". Society is so jaded.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's why AAFES stands for Asian-American Foreign Exchange Service

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To be fair, he didn't actually strip off all of their faces. It was a ruse to drive Batman mad. Under the bandages everything was normal.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For a quick second, I read "Put a cigarette in their purses" as "Put a cigarette in their pussies", and was confused. I'm disabled....

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.....so stay away from school zones, got it.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Invisibility and X-Ray Vision. I would be called "Peeping Tom".

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've been part of a unit that dropped over 5000 bombs in 6 months, on both terrain and personnel. The MOAB had exponentially less impact.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hate my wife! And her boyfriend too!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The National Guard falls under individual states.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The only time a chick will fall for a guy with a fedora, is when he pulls a soaked rag off of her mouth

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also, he appears on Joe Rogans podcast a few times. Always hilarious. Especially when Tom brings up 'Throatzilla'.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Outside Man......

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Frig off Randy, or I'll pull out my my nightcrawler and drag it on your face and leave a slimey trail.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Doug Dimmadang. Home of the Dimmsdale Dimmadang.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

You don't want to know what I came in today......

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. What's your point?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You talking about the whore that bangs everybody? She gave me 1 star!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Unless your potential parent is Madonna....

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I do nazi the humor in this. Anne Frankely, it's a little out of Mein Kampfort zone.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You know what, you got me, you made the best point. Move my gavel over to your side.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not going to lie, I was trying to figure out what a "rock turban" was, until I re-read your statement a few times. I'm mildly retarded...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

*Beige

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(2) or the cops, I was going to physically and verbally assault them to death. Luckily for them, I never got a phone call.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I always let my troops drink. I just brief them before each weekend, to "enjoy themselves", but if I get a phone call from the shirt (1)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Had a Capt Poon when I was in Germany. He had a work cell phone, and whenever he answered it, would say "Go for Poon".

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

So...uh...wanna be my Secret Santa?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.....or those of us in Wink......

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0