Distractus

11028 pts ยท November 18, 2017


You mean the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy staring Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weiss?

4 days ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That's what Big Sky wants you to think

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How fast is that in falling washing machines?

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know a Luke that shot up a Thai and called her a fighter but I don't think we're talking about the same thing

2 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just a heads up he never pays rent on time

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You should totally trust your toaster! Mine told me about this great new thing called "Breakfast in Bath"!

3 weeks ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Smash is the only thing that makes sense to me lol

3 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I think a decent NAS might do you good

3 weeks ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Better yet why simply not eat him instead?!

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*shoots someone in the face*
"BUT THE DOW JONES"
Leaves

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I bought countless inkjets in college until I splurged and bought a laser. I will never go back to inkjets

1 month ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

An undercover movie

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"and this is how I met your mother, kids"

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you jiggle your phone screen the cancer in the bubble wiggles

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

It's true. It's good all the evidence even the friend shaped test

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Manager: "How many notes are in the code?"
Programmer: "Just hope I never quit."

2 months ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Good that it doesn't move then!

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He's trying to manifest his destiny

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Reminds me of Fordite

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How much is that in washing machines?

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The only master race I agree with is PC... Unless you prefer console. *Sorry couldn't help myself from the corny joke

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Honestly seems like a matter of time before the powder keg blows and the candles start going bang

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is this how Gustave made the lumina converter?

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I like Hawaiian pizza

2 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Sorry forgot to write the amount for the second. The second income would be 1 million

3 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0