WomanWithOneRedShoe
354724
8099
866
During a recent conversation my husband asked me if I ever masturbate.
I said yes, occasionally. He literally yelled at me, "That's just like cheating! How many times??"
He actually called me a lying whore, because I hadn't already told him.... Are you fucking kidding me?
I suppose this is what happens when you are honest.
Needless to say, I do not agree.
EDIT: My first post ever made it to the front page. Thank you all for reveling in my misery.
throughthoughtthough
Sounds familiar. My ex would be all loving and ask me things, then turn around and use it against me literally a few minutes later.
HarmonyZillmer16
Gosh Darn it, Bobby, there better be a naked cheerleader under that bed...
littleladyluna
Hmm...sounds controlling.
doommoose
"that's just like cheating"
FuzzieSocks
Un-wife him.
giraffesaredope
I can't imagine loving someone enough to be married to them and then saying something so horrible to them. Just insane to me.
TeeDub121
Even if I felt that way, I wouldn't call my wife a lying whore.
Psychethos
This. Thinking that masturbation is cheating is one thing, and could be sorted out, but calling your wife a "lying whore" is just not ok.
takeacatnap
And this is why you actually get to know someone before you commit to spending the rest of your life with them.
Desktopia
Amen
chaoticeva666
ummm... yeah.. fuck that nonsense.
youdknowifitwasyourbusiness
OP,http://imgur.com/zM2MznQ
ImLukeSkywalkerImHereToRescueYou
Gosh Darn it, Bobby, there better be a naked cheerleader under that bed...
smileyhat
You know, I never even watched more than one or two episodes of that show, yet I can't help but read that in his voice.
youdknowifitwasyourbusiness
That's because he's the king of the hill. He has influence.
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
cool hwip
youdknowifitwasyourbusiness
Sorry you got downvoted, buddy. Have one on me.
s3ali0n
And me! :D
youdknowifitwasyourbusiness
http://imgur.com/whGjoan
Underc0verGinger
I don't understand how this is just coming up. These conversations are so causal between my boyfriend & I. It's part of the relationship.
pelusita35
In really religious or uptight couples you'd be surprised what doesn't get discussed.
Underc0verGinger
True. Which is kind of sad. Religion seems to get in the way of a healthy sexual relationship.
pelusita35
It truly can.
bmath
This is so unbelievable to me I almost think it's just trolling. If not, wat.
Dexterrogers
I agree. Or a thirst for dem pittypoints
pelusita35
Nope, I've seen this behavior in ultra conservative people. Men have their secret behaviors but gosh forbid if their wife does.
CryloRen
I knew a girl who thought that way. A pretty girl in a commercial? If her fiance looked too long (3 seconds) she'd slap him. They broke up.
cirrus42
Don't let crazy stick his dick in you, folks.
AtomicDJ
He has serious inferiority issues. Maybe you should ask him why HE never told YOU that before.
jdson31
Superiority?
david42
He has serious ego problems and probably rubs one at work every day.
BondageBurrito
I'm sorry but...you may want to un husband him..
nightowlRN
Unhusband him!
Ackelope
unwife*
youcantrustmeimanexpert
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. My wife never told me she does, because she doesn't have to. I know she does cuz I'm not stupid.
LiarLiar
What if you ask her and she answers "No, I never by myself.. I have Bob from work doing it for me. He has the softest hands."
youcantrustmeimanexpert
Then that's not exactly masturbating; that's "manual whoring".
DreamCatcher01
I know, right? When people I know say that their spouses don't masturbate I chuckle 'cuz yeah they do.
JustAnUndevelopedImage
Not everybody masturbates. And before I'm called naive, I'm speaking for myself.
rattlesnail
My hubs has masturbated since we've been married but he usually comes to me first and vice versa
Legendariel
I do, and my boyfriend knows it, but I honestly don't think he does. Poor dude just doesn't have enough time.
Wormbo2
Always time
similarnz
There's always time...
soso456
mostly before, you know what I mean
similarnz
Honestly - I don't know what you mean.
soso456
If he didn't masturbate so much he would have time to do it, trust us...
scabab
you should ask her to tell you about it dude... this is a new sexual frontier...
youcantrustmeimanexpert
I should have written that in the passed tense. I know now because we watch/help each other.
scabab
awwww yeahhhhh
CountDesMoines
Your husband is broken. Any other guy's response is "Can I watch?"
rguygo
Your husband is an immature, insecure, asshole.
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
She must be kinda stupid to have married him too.
rguygo
People have different sexual appetites, so one usually ends of masturbating once in a while. Or if you are not near each other.
squishyBit
to the top with you +1
lurklongandprosper
Why would someone downvote your comment jeez
liliputian7
OP's a raging bullshitter, is what it is.
FuckTheUSCjrShamecocks
I'm just a docile bullshitter.
hiyesthisissatan
I open up my husband to maturbation. He did it but it was nearly impossible for him to finish a lot of the times. He would tell me 1/3
hiyesthisissatan
that it's gross and pathetic to do "that". I had on the other had openly admitted to maturbation within a few days of knowing him. 2/3
hiyesthisissatan
I just kept my fun stuff private to avoid upstteing him. He caught me talking about a porn and began to tell me that he watches it too 3/ ?
hiyesthisissatan
and he did it whenever he got a chance. He was lying. He's a ashamed of his saxuality and is embarrassed to his wife is more of 4/5
spicypadthai
Maybe. But I reacted the same way when I found my exes dildo. Felt inadequate. Meanwhile I was fapping to internet porn on the daily lol.
peppermintpixie
Just to be sure...you get how hypocritical that is, right? It sounds like you do, but I need to be sure.
spicypadthai
lol yeah it was a long time ago. I was being an idiot.
spicypadthai
Never called her a whore tho. That's pretty messed up.
liliputian7
That's a depressing story about man's self-image
MRBEEFCAKE
Exactly. What fucking married couple doesn't know this about each other already? OP's full of shit.
MainDeflectorDish
Eh. Some people get married waaaaaay too soon, and/or assume too much about their partner and never bring certain issues up.
MRBEEFCAKE
She said they've been together 6 years. There's just no way. I can't believe it.
MiercolesAddams
took the words right out of my mouth!
HaniiPuppy
Musta been when you were kissing you.
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Smooth
DaddysHome
ooh, I swear its true, I was just about to say I love you
MiercolesAddams
yeah when I slid my tongue in their mouth picked them right up
skyzophrenicMoose
I think this story is fake
ChipmunkHunk
Me too.
NachosFlandersStyle
Me too.
Saric92
I just assume that most of these stories that hit imgur are fake.
Somanyquestions
Not sure why people are so quick to call stories fake. Of all the things that happen daily to people, this one seem pretty realistic.
wetbreasts
mostly because absurd conversations and overused gifs of people reddit/imgur friendly = front page easy mode
loantiburon
If the wide majority of upvoted comments are in support of OP, it's disappointingly reasonable to assume it's a lie for points
Somanyquestions
So people never majoritarely support true stories? The trueness of a story depends on how many people support it?
twisyangel
What about how it's tagged "things that never happened"
Somanyquestions
Well, very few people check tags anymore now that they're hidden, but yes.
avervetmonkey
I don't see how that's relevant: Anyone logged in can tag any usersub posts. I could tag this "giraffe" or "thanks obama" if I so wished.
twisyangel
Oh I didn't know that! I was truly curious haha
AgamemnonsMemes
It sounds extreme, but i've seen some people who are REALLY anti-masturbation. Like straight up 'if you do it i'll leave you' sort of stuff.
BionicRagdoll
Idk my SO's ex acted about the same way to him masturbating. People can be crazy.
OhSquiggilyLine
Why would someone bitch about their husbands on a personal issue.... On imgur. If it's true then OPs a bit of an asshole too if you ask me.
littlebomareep
Right or wrong most things -do- "die in usersub" and imgur could be a place to anon vent/get advice
pelusita35
Agreed. Sometimes you just don't know where to go. I thought it was very creative.
Saric92
People have done worse for points and recognition
OhSquiggilyLine
True. I don't mind people lying when it's an entertaining story, but true or not this is a bit tasteless
buttsnbuttsnbuttsnbutts
I hope this story is fake
BondageBurrito
Sameeee Masturbation is amazing and sex is too but if you just wanna get one out without bothering the husband or wife then it should be ok
buttsnbuttsnbuttsnbutts
That's how you get to know your own body so sex is better together!
kcrobble
Masturbate in front of him. He'll change his tune
TheRicM
Or sneak up behind him just masturbating. Probably will get same effects
SometimesIBuildThings
Maintain eye contact. Exert dominance.
SubzeroAK
Or in front of me, and I'll have a talk with him about how it's okay.
wouldthiswork
That's one helluva advice
LordLauron
my bf doesn't want to wtch me cause he thinks it would be boring. his loss.
severice
I'll watch you.
kcrobble
Your BF is a fucking dipshit then
margaretolson
Agree with this. Mine loves it.
W1ckedw1lly01
Good! Because it's beautiful :)
MiercolesAddams
that's true
TheOneAndOnlySenpai
You are going to become a legend
kcrobble
TheOneAndOnlySenpai
I like it ;)
WomanWithOneRedShoe
The purpose of doing it, is that you're alone and horny. If he's there then I don't need to.
CookingBaconDrunkAndNaked
You could always video yourself and send it to me. I mean him. I meant him....curse you intentional Freudian slip!
borderlandsman
He's a retard
kcrobble
As a spouse, you should probably recognize he is insecure. This fixes that. Good luck.
Bent0916
That's incredibly wrong. Mutual masturbation should be something every couple tries. Show eachother how you do it yourselves.
guy49
or use it as a great means of foreplay and see how long he can last before assisting
nation543
that's my problem, too. i wanna bang during the day but my wife's at work :\
Dondarian
Sounds like he's got some insecurities about it. It happens in couples. Not sure about any advice to fix it. Probably just lie about it
GrimRiderJ
Cheaters are more sensitive to cheating. More aware and accusatory
MrE158
The purpose is 'cause it's fun. It can also be fun with someone else present. Just sayin'.
ThroughTheLookingGlass
U ain't wrong that's for sure!
WomanWithOneRedShoe
I'm not saying I haven't done it. It just isn't as magical as you would imagine in my situation.
DrunkCajun
You play is fun, but just watching a girl masturbate is like Dane cook says "watching a DJ spin a record"
theonewithallthecats
Given his reaction to this...I can imagine it would not be magical at all.
DrunkCajun
Toy*
Ewido
Okay so heres the thing: Tie him to a rigid chair in his underwear, lay back on a bed and bring yourself to climax with him watching.
severice
My advice is not to listen to anyone telling you anything about your sex life. It's YOUR sex life. You do you.
Graylinfaux
1. It's insanely hot to watch your partner go to town. 2. This is to make a point.
kiiyor
Sometimes even if they are there, i'll still go me time. It's like food. Sometimes you don't want a three course meal, you just want nuggets
JohnnieRedNeatDoIt
Oh sweet summah child
NiftyGoblin
Just a note. Often people who accuse their significant other of cheating for random stupid reasons are feeling guilty after cheating...
JQuentinEvermann
If he treats you like a cheater for it, might as well get the real thing.
hypostatic
Shit, being bored is a good reason. If you're at home and alone, what's the matter?
lIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI
trust me ... put the other red shoe on and flick your bean in front of him when he comes home - he will be begging for more.
ShanibalLector
Mutual playtime is my favorite. He blows his top like a virgin everytime which makes me feel like a bad bitch
funnyandwittyusername
Thanks for the best laugh I've had in weeks +1
Leifinator
what the fuck is wrong with that guy
SingleNiceFedoraWearingClassyGuycautiondonotfriendzone
He's fictional.
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
All the gifs of the same chic and same movie made me think it was fake
ThisIsAnAlaia
Obviously I don't know your husband, but this reaction seems like a big red flag. How long have you guys been together?
WomanWithOneRedShoe
6 years
takeacatnap
6 years and this never came up? I'm scared to think what other major things you haven't discussed with each other.
undernourishedandovercaffeinated
Has he exhibited other signs of abusive behavior?
TheBasementNerd
Something is up on his side
ThisIsAnAlaia
That's a good amount of time! I hope all else well in the relationship:) Maybe he's embarrassed/concerned he's not satisfying you in bed?
ThisIsAnAlaia
That being said, he shouldn't have called you a lying whore, girl!
ReptilianOverlord
Calling you a "lying whore" is a serious red flag. That's not the kind of thing you say to someone you love, even in a heated argument.
ThisIsAnAlaia
Yeah that was a way bigger deal to me than him being upset over the masturbation. Didn't want to sound judgey in case OP wanted to talk more
Psychethos
Yup. In our 10 years together the worst my husband has ever said to me was that I was "acting bitchy", once. And he knew it was a mistake.
MollyBloomsDeadDreams
I think the worst thing my husband ever said to me was "hunger monster" and he had a legitimate point....
[deleted]
[deleted]
ThomasBankston
It's not cheating and you might want to look at your relationship because this kinda behavior is indicative of weird possessive issues
[deleted]
[deleted]
ThomasBankston
That's why I said "Look at your relationship" not leave him because it may be a one off oddity that can be fixed
FlatulentFerret
Yup. Giant red flag. Get out. Now.
notsosubtle
yea, this is a HUGE red flag
GlassPhysics
No THIS is a huge red flag http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/brotherband/images/f/ff/Redflag.png/revision/latest?cb=20140831131625
Zefar
As someone with plenty of weird possessive issues I don't care if my wife masturbates...
ThomasBankston
You lying whore!
Dispari
Yeah I saw someone discussing this recently on reddit, SO was like "your body belongs to me," and it's like haha, fuck you, nope!
ab47203
It's more along the lines of "if you're good I'll give you access to my body" from what I've seen
Caspergirl
Female here....confirm masturbating is not cheating. Look into relationship. Masturbation should be encouraged. Great release
IAimtoMisbehaveNotLikeThatOtherSpacePirate
Had a date say this is what happened in relationships. I said, "would I own your body?" He looked mortally offended. No more dates for him.
severice
With a user name like that? Damn right you could own my body.
resipsaloquitor
Yeah...that can be fun sexy time talk, but as a question...in seriousness....on a date...could hardly be a redder flag.
alwaysL8
This usually gets justified with the Bible. For the record, it does say the man's body belongs to the wife too. Just throwing that out there
tranderas
My ex fiance insisted to me that our bodies belonged to each other and got jealous about stuff she thought i was fapping to, but wasn't.
tranderas
There can be some positive aspects to "unless i give a safe word" assumed consent, if you talk and agree to it.
quintusfontane
Yeah, this isn't what happens when you're honest, it's what happens when you marry a lunatic.
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Looking at the relationship is a little more expensive now...
ThomasBankston
But hey, IT'S HALF OFF get it?
ginniper
http://imgur.com/MzuLaOD
HisokaDovakhiin
How do I save this gif
LittleWinkyMoon
I get irritated if my SO does it when I'm available. I feel unwanted. But never felt like I was cheated on.
ThomasBankston
I can understand that. I mean masturbation usually is a tool to bring equilibrium to different libidos
girlgonecountry
Whew! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I was starting to think maybe I had "possessive issues"! I interpret it as passive rejection.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
no you don't it's honestly a caveat of this generation that fantasizing about someone else and masturbating is ok. It's not necessarily (1)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
I know me personally I have a bit of a problem with it, I let it go but my gf knows I don't particularly enjoy indulging in it nor relish(2)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
the thought of her doing it. In the end it's all about intent and how you both handle it (3)
Benegesseritwitch75
This is why I never told my ex husband he was already emotionally and mentally abusive he would have said the same shit to me.
Psychethos
Yup. If my husband called me a "lying whore" in any context (except maybe sex, in the right roleplay), I'd be on the next train out of town.
ThomasBankston
You'd tale the midnight train going anywhere?
bananahats
Or are you just a city buoy?
NaTrolleon
Were you Dorne and raised in south Detroit?
CapStupid
My exgf got hella mad whenever I fapped to porn, citing low self-esteem. We didn't lost long.
ThomasBankston
I had one too and she was insanely possessive
tooindecisiveforausername
Yeah this definitely sounds like the beginnings of mental/emotional abuse. OP I know it can be hard to recognize but that behavior is not ok
meow5712
I definitely agree in some cases it's not okay but also some religions teach that so make sure you're both aware of each others beliefs!!
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
I hate to agree but yeah.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
Yes, if this madness was hiding in his brain shed, then certainly he's a tool about other things too or just plain fucked up...
ThomasBankston
I think "tool shed" is a good insult lol
hitzchicky
i usually go for "tool box" as an insult
chelktty
My ex told me that he considered my self service to be cheating as well. He was angry that I stopped servicing him because his 1/2
ThomasBankston
Well if you can't get off no one can *Insert evil laugh*
chelktty
Possessiveness was a huge turn off.
MyCatWatchesMeMasturbate
yeah, My ex would take my vibrator or the batteries, just out and out swipe them when I wasn't home. :/ it was super weird.
HisokaDovakhiin
Why tho!? Its self pleasure...for yourself. My reaction would be can you 1. Let me watch 2.start a small mini series, 3. Watch then join in
maddvcoinye
... my Ex
Legendariel
My ex hid/threw away mine when I went out and tried to say I took it for some kind of cheaty lesbian orgy.
MyCatWatchesMeMasturbate
ugh, his insecurity is showing!
SethReborn
TBH i understand their side, i dont feel the same way, and i think its stupid. but i can understand their insecurity and reaction.
Llamahunter
Idk why this was down voted.
SethReborn
I guess some people thought i was taking a side?ah well, such is life on imgur. a game of comments
theonewithallthecats
Yup! Exactly how my abusive boyfriend kicked off his reign of terror.
georgiaoqueef
Same
ThomasBankston
It's a sad story because once you reason one behavior away it gets easier to reason away worse behavior.
resipsaloquitor
and you're conditioned to doubt your own judgment about it anyway "I'm overreacting, s/he was just upset/drunk/stressed"
ThomasBankston
bit out of line to say "leave him right now based off one bit of data" Still it worries me. Also wonder how he'll react to this post lol
ThomasBankston
That's why I asked OP to look at her relationship because if you get out at the start of the spiral it's much easier to return but it'd be a
sowetoninja
Not necessarily true at all, I suggest you try and understand how varied ideas of commitment & sexuality can be. For instance, Christians>
sowetoninja
>believe that if you think about cheating (dwell on the thoughts/like it etc) you are already cheating, b/c how you feel in your heart is>
sowetoninja
>what's important (to them), but OP being surprised by this is indicative a immature relationship, people should talk about what they want.
BionicRagdoll
It's not so much his attitude towards it as his reaction. Calling her a cheater and a whore is out of line.
BionicRagdoll
He could have sat down and had a rational conversation about their different viewpoints and come to a compromise. What he did is not healthy
ThomasBankston
It's obvious that she isn't the brand of Christianity that believes that so it'd be stupid to hold her to that standard and not inform her
sowetoninja
and also, it's not just Christianity, just wanted an example.
sowetoninja
yeah I was just trying to point out that people take sex/intimacy/commitment issue really differently & being different=/=mental problems
ThomasBankston
Sure but this specific one is usually linked to possessiveness and I just told her to evaluate her relationship to make sure it wasn't true
apenrots
TIL Jennifer Lawrence likes to masturbate.
pelusita35
I'd always hoped....
nohman64
Tbh, who doesn't?
lostnortherner
If I were Jennifer Lawrence I'd masturbate constantly.
PhoenixQueenAzula
I've seen some pictures man. I believe it.
Pandaphant
Ten bucks says he's cheating, feels he's about to get caught, and wants to pin something on you first
Silverwing6
100 bucks says he masturbates.
LiterallyYourMom
Cheating people are usually the first to accuse their SO of cheating, both due to the paranoia of their own actions and deflection of guilt.
CaptainButtbeard
Not unlikely.
JuanCCarlos
Wow this is exactly what happened to me
nebbulae
In 140 characters no less.
BuckMelanoma
Oh good lord, do you write for Cosmo too with that crap?
AbiQuinn
what is this html tag, we are coding now? I don't understand
Pandaphant
It's something we illuminati do.
xeqtioner0
Or, get this, he's not cheating.
scabab
another 10 bucks here, any takers?
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
*takes the 10 bucks* thanks man!
scabab
ok please spend that well
dymnas
I doubt you'll get any on that one. Guilty.
Protean2648
The thing about masturbation is that it's only between you and you. It's as much a right as scratching your neck is.
PyroGuy007
I'll throw in my ten too. You should make an internet pot, get people's wager, and maybe follow it through. It'd be one hell of a show :D
DatMormon
10 bucks says OP found some gifs of JLaw and needed to make up a story for them to fit together
OnlyWelmed
Exactly and Thank you! have my upvote. +1
xNexx
I have a loonie and a few quarters. Can I still get in on this?
FriskyDing0
I presume you actually have currency that is known as 'loonies' and 'toonies?'
xNexx
Canadian $1 and $2 coins
FriskyDing0
American here - I was watching Trailer Park Boys on Netflix and they said 'loonies' and 'toonies' - I of course assumed Loony Toons.
Pandaphant
I don't know why this made me laugh so fucking hard
xNexx
Loonies and Toonies are Canadian $1 and $2 coins
reallynotmary
I bet he's actually a frequent masturbator, feels guilty since he considers it cheating, and wants to blame her in order to feel justified
JustAGirlOnImgur
Damn
JustASmallTownMinnesotanImgurlLivingInALonelyWorld
Your name is like an over-simplified version of mine.
tulivieja
MINNESOTA
cheekybirch
*FIST BUMP*
Pandaphant
It'll happen like this. "You've been cheating on me!" "Not like you care, you're happier getting yourself off without me!"
Pandaphant
Make it look like she's the reason it's happening, and that she's the bad person. It's not logical, but it's what manipulative dickheads do
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
As someone who keeps seeing his female friends date those manipulative dickheads I wish they'd learn their fucking lesson.
JustAGirlOnImgur
It's really the only reason that makes sense as to why he'd get so upset about it, well besides maybe religious reasons
Pandaphant
I got the impression that he just randomly brought it up too, that's the most suspicious part to me.
Anxietymom
This was my first thought yo
TwatSprinkle
Agree
WhompingWillough
This.
ChaosLierLen637
Yeah, probably :/
Duffman8813
Dannnnng I bet ur right
wolfhound1793
good bet there...very likely to be what is happening
Jutubya
Agreed!
Shroomslapz
I don't think I'd be as taken aback if you hadn't ended it with the psychology thing.
Kyyface
My thoughts exactly.
ChernoGamma
That's my take also.
LadyLaunchpadMcQuack
This is basically what my husband did to me. Try to accuse me of being unfaithful while he ran around being the man whore that he is.
yzmaina
I'm so sorry :(
CryloRen
My ex did the same thing, but he threatened to brutally murder me if he ever caught me cheating. =/
DVSBSTrD
Yeah, especially considering he's the one who brought it up. Sounds like a real insecure little shitstain.
SirMaizeAndBlue
My ex-wife did the same thing to me, turns out she was cheating.
lily10110
Or if he's a Catholic. I had a friend who was a really strict Catholic and viewed masturbating as cheating.
kidcolt
Wat?
zackattack9909
My ex was that way. I don't get how thinking about her while masturbating is cheating, but to each their own.
poisongirl6485
Does your Catholic friend also call his wife a whore? I'm sure Jesus just LOVES that.
xzhous
Jesus loves everyone. Including whores. Maybe he meant it affectionately. Like you dirty dirty sinner daddy gotta give you some punishment.
lily10110
I didn't say it was right, did I? Everyone makes mistakes, regardless, there's a huge communication issue on both parties.
Pandaphant
And never brought, asked, or gave the impression he was not okay with such a thing BEFORE they got married?
Pandaphant
brought it up*
lily10110
I feel like both parties made assumptions before they got married. OP assumed everyone is okay with masturbating, her husband(1/2)
lily10110
didn't. Regardless, major lack of communication and they should seek couple's therapy. (2/2)
deadonerising
Or just idk that one dude getting therapy? I dont like the whole......shared blame for one person in a couple being batshit.
kelpsie
Any couple where one person seriously uses the term 'lying whore' needs couples therapy.
MaddMind
Ah I remember calling one of my ex's a whore. Felt good. In retrospect she was just young and didn't know what she wanted.
ElPoloDiablo
Hey don't bring Catholics into this mang. I wank like though there was no tomorrow and I'm Catholic... I should probably get a GoT Shame gif
lily10110
It's okay. Don't worry. Jesus forgives you.
metalanguage
Io, ypu are resurrected from 0 points
TheMrPendragon
Can anyone, and I mean anyone, logically reason how masturbation is like cheating? Please.
lily10110
It's because Jesus said looking at another person lustfully is considered cheating. Sometimes people misinterpret it mean masturbation.
Waganga
This is similar to something my dad did to me. He didn't call it cheating ofc, but it was: Why do you expose me to porn by looking at it1/2
Waganga
and that forces me to masturbate and sin! ... As an adult female, blaming your daughter for your habits? Uhhh =/
BHObiWanKendoobie
Wtf? Masturbating keeps you from cheating on him if anything. What an idiot. It sounds like it's too late, but you should probably leave.
ThePenguinCrusader
If you think you need to masturbate not to cheat then you aren't doing marriage right. Or relationships for that matter.
BHObiWanKendoobie
I wasn't condoning cheating but sex is a psychological need. You can't deny that. That said cheating is unforgivable.
BHObiWanKendoobie
For those of you telling me stuff like cheating is wrong: It is. I said "if anything" meaning that's not my stance but I could understand it
Clitastrophe
If I was married to someone and they started throwing those names around, I'd probably leave on that alone. The fuck obviously doesn't care.
Pieala
*kind
Pieala
Yeah, those kink of names are too unfriendly to be used with someone you care about. Bozohead, sure. Asshole, sometimes. Whoring x, never.
mijiza
I would say counseling. And if he says no to counseling, then leave. Calling names like lying whore over that is a red flag for sure.
Psychethos
Over anything, honestly. Even full on infidelity can possibly be worked through, but if we're at the "lying whore" stage then it's done.
CryloRen
Yeah, that sounds a few steps away from violence.
MisterJellyBean
the first step should never be to give up and move out and divorce D: counseling, personal therapy, a discussion -- all should be 1st.
YouCantFindMeNow
Nah fuck that, the guy sounds like a fucking freak.
hugjob
He called her a "lying whore"... if you let them get away with abuse it'll slip in again and again. Red flag, get out before he murders you.
BHObiWanKendoobie
Well I don't know them but shit that crazy is ridiculous and completely irrational and I personally just won't tolerate it.
ShamnusMcfee
Why? If there are no children involved, that's a lot of effort for no reason. Instead of trying to fix the person,
ShamnusMcfee
just find someone that doesn't need fixing.
thedustygrad
Sometimes, if it's gone too far, it's too late for all that, and you have to just end it.
MisterJellyBean
But not after 1 thing happens, which this post seems to indicate it came out of the blue. That's why I said it should not be #1 choice.
thedustygrad
If it's the only thing, I agree. If they're been together any length of time, I'm betting this is just the tip of the iceberg, baby.
slothen2
This is not a conversation I would expect married people to have. Did you get hitched after like 3 months or something?
TheLlamaFarmer
yeah this is a conversation I've had with most of my friends, regardless of gender...
drainoslushy
Not a conversation that happened to be fair. People are strange.
lulu82
I got married after 6 months, and we're cool. And never been called a lying whore by my husband either.
popopocelot
Haha. This is the opposite role change. Usually it's the girl who's mad...... Are we being punked for a social project?
raychello
I don't understand why that would be offensive to him at all.
spikytortoise
Even three months is a long time to wait to have that chat, surely?
Denvercoder09
Agreed
carlovonsexron
Absolutely, and don't call me Shirley.
5154
i had to log in to upvote this. +1 for airplane!
WernerBrahsRecords
This is what i wanted to ask.
bilbo
Nice username bruh
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Oh god hahaha ty for pointing it out for us
[deleted]
[deleted]
xmaneds
+1 for being pro-choice. feminism FTW
lonelysock
Holy shit that's a pretty big difference of opinion.
nothankstoyou
It's a semantic difference. We agree that abortion should not be decided by the government and shouldn't be used as birth control.
TheSisko
We had that conversation before having sex.
Cheomesh
Same. Also BROTIP GUYS! Just because she's pro-choice does NOT mean she'll have an abortion should an accident happen. Just a warning.
TheSisko
Exactly. I am prochoice, but I would not abort. It was only fair that he know in advance while he could still opt out.
Cheomesh
Good! Good. Not like some of us.
ireallylovehippos
My husband wants me to tell him WHEN I do. He finds it a real turn on.
Huckingfell
Seriously- I'm glad my hub watches porn/faps. I can't do it all by myself!
Cheomesh
*minutes
BakedOn
Before three weeks that shit was discussed
OaksParcel
This isn't a conversation (or at least a reaction) I would expect someone over the age of 16 to have.
Ishouldprobablybedoingsomethingproductive
Yeah that's weird. I bought my wife stuff to masturbate with while i'm away on my business trips.
goodbyetangerinesky
Good man! (I'm assuming you're male though I could obviously be wrong here).
bizon1829
Right? My fiance had this one a while ago. At one point she said "Yeah, I'll do it in bed if you're already asleep." Shouldn't be a big deal
TheMrPendragon
I would like the pleasure of challenging anyone to logically reason why masturbating is like cheating. That would be fun to watch.
Shargan8
I cannot begin to comprehend the mental set up of a person thinking masturbation is cheating.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ChemicalPizza
Calm down imgur! I meant it's an insane thing to be angry about. Masturbating is okay!
DrSchmolls
do you mean that you think people shouldn't be yelled at for masturbating or that married people should talking about anything sexual?
ChemicalPizza
Wow, what a backlash. I meant that no rational person would even consider yelling at someone for masturbating. Sorry for the confusion!
DrSchmolls
yeah people hear (and read) what they want to and apparently everyone wanted to be mad yesterday, sorry you got down voted so much
Crowlands
It's not a conversation I expect to happen at all. But that's 'Cause I assume everyone masturbates, and date girls with a similar mindset.
ICantRememberHowItEndsButYourMothersAWhore
My wife doesn't masterbate. I keep telling her that she needs to so she can better understand what she likes exactly.
StaticXster70
Precisely: how am I supposed to figure out what a woman likes, if she doesn't even know for herself!
veltvetoctopus
If you need vibrator recommendations, try the blogs Oh Joy Sex Toy or Hey Epiphora! both are pretty legit.
Plusheen
I feel like you know how to satisfy your lady, so she doesn't feel the need to take over the job herself.
mymeganeatschickennuggets
Or maybe she's never had an orgasm and doesn't see the point?
NewfieScreech
3 months of dating at age 18.
isthatyoujohnwayne
I just assumed she did.
rguygo
I've been married for along time, never had this convo, but we both understand the other does it.
Lilenok
same for me. 10 years into our relationship, never talked about it
poisonivybaby11
Got married a month after meeting my hubby and we are open about this stuff we r just like you do you babe
ghostinthesun
....how has your marriage been, out of curiosity? I met my bf about a month ago and we're talking marriage already. Not immediately, though.
Lilenok
this year marks the 10 years of our relationship... still haven't heard of a ring yet ... *sigh*
MiloCoatedBanana
When my gf is too busy to shag she let's me fap while she watches. Life is great.
raychello
I point out fit girls to my boyfriend all the time when we're out.
MiloCoatedBanana
Haha mine does that too. She points out girls that she likes and I point out girls that I like too.
raychello
I see it as appreciating people's beauty. Every one of us is different and if I see a woman who is pretty, I'll point it out :)
lordcaric
My wife likes to watch me as well. Took a few years to get it out of her, but she loves it. Goes both ways too.
Mostxtremeeliminationchallenge
My bf and I do that too. Goes both ways!
MiloCoatedBanana
I'm rarely too busy for sex. When she hints, my pants drop ASAP.
BackseatBoozer
Mine wants to watch me, I'd like to watch her but I'd feel bad making her watch me lie there defiling myself
vaginaengineer
I got my ex to do that once after I'd gotten out of the shower and he was still in. It was nice.
CandiedSnails
My husband told me this morning that I should masturbate 4xs a day at least (w a wicked twinkle in his eye).
Thegreenmonkeys
I'm a 24 year old obese single virgin and 4x a day seems a bit excessive.
ForTaxReasons
Every day would be excessive. But like three days out a week. That's doable.
fantasihandikappad
That has little to do with how much you masturbate. While in a relationship, I can masturbate 4 times in a day if there was no sex, easily.
MiloCoatedBanana
Not at all... I have no limits hahaha
Timetoburn
Mine will taker care of herself while I take care of myself, but were really taking care of each other..
NaTrolleon
That's pretty deep, son. I like it.
BonkyMcSignFace
I'd be too self-conscious to just lay there jerking off, and I consider myself very sexually open. But fapping is very personal
cowcannon
I love watching my bf fap :3
MiloCoatedBanana
We've known each other since we were 12-13 hehe
BonkyMcSignFace
Oddly that information doesn't help. But I'm happy for you.
MiloCoatedBanana
Fyi we started doing it when we were of legal age. 15-16
LetMeGramSchmidtOnYourChest
THIS IS SO FUCKING FAKE
GarikEast
I truly hope so.
WomanWithOneRedShoe
It's not a normal topic for me. I just assume everyone does.
ssgoku129
I still don't understand how this never came up before you got married, that's just weird
Zoso000
Haha, that's because everyone DOES
BrewMyTeabag
Everyone does masterbate, it is not cheating. If you're horny and they're not there. You do that, Better than fucking someone else
keetron
Yes, everybody does. Like peeing in the shower, 70% of the people admits they do it and the other 30% are liars.
strcmdman
As a man, i will say you had an appropriate reaction.
Pgoodso
Did ya'll talk about sex at ALL before marriage? You'd think "What gets you off" would be a topic of conversation, and it would come up.
HikariShade
Hey OP, that was a terrifying overreaction. Sometimes a girl or guy just has to tickle her own fancy. There can be a satisfaction (1)
HikariShade
you can only get from self play for some people and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Any sex therapist will tell you the same thing. (2)
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
I love masturbation and I don't see it as a second-best replacement to partnered sex. I like to make me feel good.
HikariShade
Masturbation and sex with the hubby are two different kinds of satisfaction for me. They fulfill two different desires.
peaceloveandgraffiti
I thought everyone does, too!
eruval82
Everyone does
Ophiukus
We do. There's insecure, then there's "only I can touch you. That includes you!" Insecure...
UsChickens
That's a yes.
noxdracoria
There is nothing wrong with self pleasure, in or out of a relationship, it certainly isn't cheating! Your mister may be ill informed or have
noxdracoria
other baggage from his past that leads him to believe this and I would suggest mediated counselling to help the tow of you work it out
mindolluin
he needs to get over himself and not judge. It's certainly healthy, and it's NOT cheating
severice
Mmmm. Not according to my default relationship assumptions guide book.
mindolluin
If you have a few minutes, read this, it should help: http://lollygagging.net/uploads/3/2/2/7/3227829/__4983560_orig.png
severice
I keep getting stuck on page 14, Alerting her to your interest without seeming creepy.
InitHello
The vast majority do. Your husband is an ass and might have some issues he needs to deal with.
djeb
It could be that he's emotionally stunted.
JQuentinEvermann
They do.
doinitindallas
That's a very lame way for him to respond. He should be happy that you do. I just talked to my wife about it. She watches lesbian porn! YAY
DVSBSTrD
How religious is he?
izzyisbusy
Are there religions that forbid female masturbation?
DVSBSTrD
Haven't you heard? Every sperm is sacred, and sex is a gift you're only allowed to give to your husband.
izzyisbusy
The sperm thing I've heard about. But female masturbation being prohibited is new to me
MayTheTriforceBeWithU
7
PratzStrike
Everyone does, not all parents talk about it. Possible hubby grew up thinking it was bad. This is stupid, but it needs talk, not anger.
snurx
Not everyone does. But you should really consider getting councilling or mediation if you can't sort it out on your own.
tiramigiu
fuck that, grab your bags...that dude is unstable.
mijiza
Agreed. Especially since he jumped to calling you a cheater and a lying whore for it. What violent language, that's a scary red flag.
greyfoxv1
Yeah this seems crazy overboard. I absolutely agree with the folks above me too.
snurx
Save yourself years of grief. Sex shouldn't be something that causes problems in relationships.
whoisyourdaddy
2 kinds of people: those that masturbate, and those that lie about masturbating.
AGiantTransWoman
SHIT TONS of people do. Like what the hell.
slothen2
you can be sure he does too....
MancrushonThor
As a husband myself, I actually find it super hot
sheanar
I hope he at least apologized. He has no right ro call you names.
ReposterCallerOuterMan
yea
DrDresDog
Everyone should.
MarisaTomei
Is this why you only have one red shoe? Because he got mad and threw the other one away?
DevinNatTyv
Again, if it's normal, why has this not come up before with him?
siler7
Well, you know what they say about assuming.
Swunt
i feel a divorce in your future if he's this delusional about someone masturbating.
Dan007a
Almost everyone, but I think slothen2 meant you should have known your SO's reaction unless you only dated for 3 months prior to marriage.
StarShineSurreal
Your husband sounds like an insecure jerk. It's his problem to work through, but as his wife you should try to help him. Ask him to watch.
hypostatic
What a hypocrite. EVERYONE does. He needs to take a chill pill.
[deleted]
[deleted]
hypostatic
So you DO then lol. Didn't say everyone does it non-stop lol
LamarTheHeadhumper
I don't want to meet the type of person who goes through life without masturbating
hypostatic
They must lead sad repressed lives
MintMission
That's just silly, and just as ignorant as what OP's husband said.
LamarTheHeadhumper
redbullvodka
I didn't until well after marriage. It wasn't something I enjoyed. After five years of marriage hubby got mono and I got a vibe. Epiphany.
iforgottowearpants
I got mono a few weeks ago. Shit ain't fun. Been out of work 2 weeks now. No sexy time. It sucks.
hypostatic
Seriously lol
redbullvodka
seriously.
WoahShocksMyBrain
Hahaha everything about this comment is so hilarious
TylerWarranty
I always assumed my ex was lying when she said she didn't. She did wanna do it like all of the time though
EpicPublixCustomerServiceStaff
Well then I hope you did it all the time
Thatgirlarlyn
I kinda don't like masturbating. I get turned on by someone being into me, so porn and stuff is eh. Love the sex though. So much of the sex.
testificatesn
I don't because it's hard for me to stay turned on by myself. So when i do a have a partner/fuckbuddy, yes, all of the time.
seaXmonster
People think I'm lying when I say I don't but I don't masturbate. I've only done/attempted to do it maybe 6 times ever Just cant get into it
cupcake13
Finally!! Someone else! I don't either. I have no interest in it. I love my guy! But flickin the bean alone does nothing for me.
BallsHairy
(As a guy)Your missing out big time !! But Remember do what makes you happy not what someone tells you is fun. Peace in the litile east
trustmeimalinguist
I'm a 22 y/o female, have been having sex for 6 years, and didn't start masturbating till a year ago. Some women just don't.
thefreshestD
I usually don't masturbate when I'm dating someone. I prefer to get taken care of by my so. And I do like sex all the time also.
thefreshestD
I usually don't masturbate when I'm dating someone. I prefer to get taken care of by my so. And I do like sex all the time also.
flandered
"So...wanna stop masturbating?" will be my new pick-up line
Sheprador
"Yes."
Ezzybells
Ive only masturbated in relationships where I wasn't satisfied by the sex. Hoping to avoid such relationships in future!!
IAmPotatoHearMeRoar
Agreed there. And it's more fulfilling too :)
[deleted]
[deleted]
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
month after I prematurely gave my V-card to the former SO. Wasn't able to before and haven't since. I NEED the human connection to cum. 2/2
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
THIS! I have had ONE satisfying solo masturbation session (can't say "orgasm", because it's never just one orgasm with me). It was a 1/2
TrustMeImAnEMT
Same
ninmonkey
Sounds like a lot of work, but then again my shunt broke.
thefreshestD
Ehhh?
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
If I can tap, then I don't need to fap. (I'm a girl but this rhymed)
severice
Tap before you fap. If you think to fap that call me over and I will tap that.
someguynamedted
If I can get dick, I don't need to shlick.
someguynamedted
I attempted.
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
HAHA
GivesYouWings
You don't shave because you get dick?
RomanSnow
If I remember my stats correctly, its like 88 percent of men admit to masturbating, and like 60 percent of women admit to masturbating.
RomanSnow
If someone has updated stats though please reply I'm genuinely curious.
hugjob
60 percent is either poor sample low or I'm really sad for all the girls out there who don't know about orgasms.
JPRiddles
The key word is "admit"
Fishbasket
>.> My girlfriend doesn't let me do it, but that's sortof different.
TohruRokuno
Everyone masturbates. Only some of us do it to OP
beyondomega
everyone does
stevetehpirate
...There are people that don't?
ThatGuyNoOneKnows
You're in the right. Not sure what his problem is...
rallemus
Masturbation is free, healthy, doesn't hurt anyone, feels damn good, and can be done yourself. I don't see how anyone can be against it.
MarshallSwayze
Everyone does... Just don't mention porn... may lose his shit even more..
MarshallSwayze
*Maybe not EVERYONE. But they should.
rallemus
There are two kinds of people: Those who say they masturbate and then there are dirty liars.
AntiDownVoteActivist
I actually forced my wife to learn how to do it. Shit's important, yo. Good luck in your trials.
cgibaboons6
OP, that's fucked up if he calls it cheating... Does he not masturbate??
FletchINKy
That is not the case. Still, "Lying Whore" is a bit over the top. Chance this is really about something else?
causality
I don't even get how people get engaged without sharing porn.
officerjt
Not everyone likes porn. My husband and I don't share crafting or gaming either!
IAmPotatoHearMeRoar
I would agree that bringing up the topic of porn is necessary before getting engaged, but the usage of porn doesn't interest everyone.
USPS
I've always thought there were some people who try to find any small excuse to get out of a relationship, and not be the bad guy. Cowardly
daraos
Trust me, he's doing it too.
Tinchyspider
It's not really the topic which is the problem. More the unhinged batshit crazy cry baby fapnazi reaction to you playing the goose.
dec4693
They do. They really do.
bodneyc
They do...
khtad
Please tel me there are no kids and you can unmarry him.
walterpeck
You assume correctly. Well, almost.
whatsyourspaghettipolicy
A life without masturbation is not a life fully lived! Everyone should be able to love/fuck themselves. I'm glad you were honest.
Atinla
Everyone does. If they don't, they're a dirty fucking liar and you shouldn't trust them.
snuffcarcass
"Lying whore", huh? No bueno.
ryodark
Jesus. I get off alone twice as often as my boyfriend of 9 years, but we don't keep it a secret from each other.
[deleted]
[deleted]
deadonerising
http://imgur.com/LEnUlmP
TheRip
Take me on a date first at least
Nandabun
Ask him if he does. I mean, hypocrite much? It's /insane/ that touching YOUR OWN BODY is cheating?!
anabelle1221
Sounds like he's worried that you can please yourself better than he can. Sorry OP. :/
shaunc13
I've had the odd occasion where my partner can't, so she'll just tell me to masturbate
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
I think that's a healthy attitude.
Zoso000
That sucks...
PickledPeaches
Apparently it doesn't.... thus the masturbation.
shaunc13
Haha Nahh she 'assists'
littlespacebased
Every guy I've ever dated has been so childishly excited to ask me this.
IratetheD
i second that. My fiance is just like a kid when it comes to stuff like this. also the boob bop to make them jiggle...
mthrndr01
I think the more interesting question is "What do you masturbate to?"
littlemirrorsatourfeet
Yep and eagerly ask if they can watch
lanceconstablebluejohn
is.....is that the wrong question to ask?
doc70
damn right we like to ask this redundant question to our better halfs, even though there's maybe 0.025 people on the planet that don't do it
kittylick
Hey. I got married after 3 months, and we are great lol
binksays
Haha I'm about to move in with my guy and we've been dating for three months....lol yayyyyy let's see how this goes
Cknapp303
Christ you people move quick. Good luck on whatever endeavor that is.
binksays
Hehe well its faster than usual but mostly because he's having a huge procedure thay requires someone to take care of him for about 6 months
IFUCKEVERYTHING
This is like first date subject matter for me.
Ifellthroughthefourthwall
asking how your date masturbates is the best way to deliver an unforgettable mind blowing orgasm without seeming lusty.
bmath
username checks out.
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Do you get many second dates?
IFUCKEVERYTHING
Most of the time they find my openness funny and enduring. Yes, I usually get a second date.
Iwantahammock
Actually yes, and a lot of sex too
Schmedes
You're not the same person...
buttinvader
Considering I go stages in front of people and sometimes scream about masturbation. Yeah, it's something every one does.
CAPSYELLMUCHLOUDER
I inform my date of masturbation habits prior to actual date.
TheRicM
"If we get married can I still masturbate?"
WeAreAllStoriesInTheEnd
* "If we get married, I'm still going to masturbate."
IFUCKEVERYTHING
This is accurate
dontblinkdontevenblinkblinkandyourdead
*if we get married, you should expect to masturbate.
dragonraven13
As we get married, I'll masturbate.
bacorn31
Had a girl break up with a friend of mine because he masturbated. People are weird.
WhatInSamHellIsAPuma
I did the same thing. It was affecting our sex life as he was always too spent and sore to have sex with me and I was always unsatisfied.
pelusita35
I hope it worked out.
youdknowifitwasyourbusiness
I've come too far to stop now!
UmVtZW1iZXJUaGVOYW1l
From my experience, it is mostly girls who are seriously jealous about fapping.
pelusita35
It's insecurity--we worry we're not enough. Took me a few years of marriage (kept my opinions to myself) before I knew it wasn't about me
peppermintpixie
As a girl: I love knowing that my hubby gets up to that. And I like watching when sex isn't an option for whatever reason. It's super hot.
MimzytheBun
This, especially being told he was thinking of me. Hawt <3 (even if hes just lying for my feelings but that's still cool with me)
UmVtZW1iZXJUaGVOYW1l
I know some girls don't mind at all.I think that the girls who do get jealous do so because they think they are being rejected/loss of power
peppermintpixie
Well for those girls I would suggest regaining the power by being a dirty flirt until he needs to nail you and then INSISTING that he fap.
peppermintpixie
Just...as the first suggestion that pops to mind lol.
buttinvader
you misspelled "fucking stupid"
danjo
She's gonna have a bad time, or end up with a liar. I've only known one guy who didn't masturbate, and he was extremely religious.
causality
Either you masturbate or you regularly have wet dreams.
danjo
Yeah, and masturbation is definitely less messy, depending on the way you go about it.
LazyPea
How do you know he didn't?
danjo
Well obviously I don't know for sure, but he was crazy religious, and I dunno, I just believed him.
ChaosGodOfPleasureAndExcess
Wait, so what your saying is... Your friend is Jesus, the chick was Mary Maglidan, and you are peter?
LazyPea
I don't think anyone should just believe anything, especially from crazy religious people.
danjo
(2) Theres no reason to believe there isn't a single dude who doesn't masturbate. Even if like 99.9% do.
danjo
Well it wasn't some random dude I ran into. I'm saying I knew the guy well, he was very honest, and it fit with is character.