ThatsWhatSheSed
616572
18715
397
I heard this was the new trend, so here are my stories.
Apr 30, 2015 5:32 AM
ThatsWhatSheSed
616572
18715
397
KaterToterTot
+1 only for the Office Space reference. Good job Michael Bolton, I mean, OP.
wh0care5
someone stole my blue highlighter once, so I went to the supply room and got another.
ThatsWhatSheSed
Riveting, from end to end.
SonOfOden
You missed the opportunity to post banana for scale, so I'm doing it:
adam1111
And the crowd goes mild.
MrFastZombie
woo
jumpoff69
This deserves more upvotes
MrAwful
Something something 'did you just' 'get out'
Pthteven
Conversate? You're a dick
clubman630
Converse*... conversate is NOT a word!
PleasantlyPlump
Don't burn the place down
IAMFROOPLAPA
Ahh officespace.. I love that movie
JeanZedlav
Look man they stole his stapler what do you want?
Vanquishdsoul
Hmph. Where's my red stapler!
ipudg3
Look at all the 9-5 ppl upvoting the post ;/ +1 ;(
ffilm
Or pee in the coffee maker.
TrijezniMujo
Burn the place down.
GetOffMyLawnYa
That escalated quickly!
theman9420
Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...
halyeahboy
Sometimes I go on imgur when I'm at work. || This prevents me from burning the place down.
StartedMakingTrouble
toolate.jpeg
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
without jet fuel, right?
LearnedCoward
The ratio of people to cake is very big.
fuckweaselry
My teenager always says "I was not told..." I want to buy him a red stapler when he leaves for college...
emsjunkie
That's my stapler
RayMC
zikalista
Pls Milton
halyeahboy
NUH UH :SNAP SNAP: MILTON PLEASE
NeverTrustAWombat
A rollercoaster ride from start to finish.
Pizzzzzza
that's the last straw
JackieTilley
I chose not to burn the place down.
bendetta227
I was told I could listen to my radio at a reasonable volume
dyingallthetime
classic as fuck
ilovealots
between 9 and 11am
dyingallthetime
classic as fuck
ISuspectJimHalpert
So...How many peeps are reading this at their desk at their office job right now?
marrdcheez
Right here
youdownwithOCbyOP
Irishbastard7
I thought of this gif as soon as I read the first image. Thank you for supplying my gif fix.
DarthFutuza
I was thinking that the OP should have photoshopped a stapler onto each pic except the last one. But too late for that. :(
TalonDudeguy
iwanttobealurkerbutcant
I could bludgeon someone to death with my swingline. I choose not to. But I could.
Jetz72
(thug life)
IvanTheRussian
Can someone kindly remind me what movie this is.
CaptainFargo
Office Space
anon311919
I was sincerely hoping there would be an office space joke at the end. Thank you.
SillySnowFox
You have no idea how badly I want a job like this...
Captainapplepie
Conversate.
HsuDoNihm
Yes, conversate. Are we conversating? I think we might be.
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
My firm provides breakfast on Fridays. Sometimes someone eats the donut I like before I get there.
GuardLLama
Fucking savage. Thank you for your service.
BigJoe42
Does doughnuts go in to the breafast foodcategory?
SheepSheepDinosaur
That depends whether or not you're in America
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
Yes...you must not be American?
Rhase
Lol you too? Boston creme ftw. Fortunately I've been skipping donut day due to bikini season induced diet, so no more mild frustration.
theamazonman
Hells yeah Boston cream! It's worth it
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
old fashioned glazed. I have not been skipping because I have a 4 month old and if I can't sleep, I may as well eat.
Rhase
mmmm, glaze. Can always rely on them being there at my place of work. Usually we have an excessive amount of frosted. Blegh.
moonrhino68
boston creme > beach bod
Rhase
I'm all for both, but when slimming down gotta sacrifice for a little bit. I have 15 lbs to lose. Easier to maintain weight after + donuts.
moonrhino68
totally agree. i'm down 20 lbs. since Jan and out of the strictest phase of my diet. I love cheat day.
Rhase
I started mid march and am down 5. I will probably get stricter with myself the next couple months but once I hit 125-130 I can cheat more.
Rhase
I started mid march and am down 5. I will probably get stricter with myself the next couple months but once I hit 125-130 I can cheat more.
associatedname
OH! MY! GOD! We work in the same dam place!
nonomos
But did you get the memos about the TPS reports?
cstrang
What if I told you TPS reports are actual things?
nonomos
I'm pretty sure thats why they sent the memos
wangusangus
"Small portion"? Fake.
RitualisticDocter
I believe you have my stapler. I have a very perticular set of skills...
GrandMoonerino
How do you get these jobs
endfreq
Sell off your soul a little bit at a time.
vobra
Engineering degree helps
LearnedCoward
And the willingness to work for the military or for military contractors.
SportsPhotoGirl
Get lucky... I just got a job similar to this, haven't gotten out of training yet, and they do care if I'm more than 5mins late
AFuckingBazooka
Do something horrible in your past life.
Usernamehereplease
This is my office. I am an auditor with an accounting degree. It's boring, but I literally do whatever I want most of the time.
Lugh314159
This really should be on the front page.
hongkongcollector
It is. Your life is complete.
irishnovember
God...I needed this. These job stories are quickly turning into "look at this fucking customers who don't know as much as I do about this"
kidtwist
I agree. I mean, confessions of a welder...!? Really!?
Widgetboy
I envy you.
ashittytakeonlife
I make sure to poop for 10 Mins a day.50 Mins a work week, 200 a month, 2400 a year which equals a 40 hour work week of pay for pooping.
Bubbl3gum
As someone who drinks a ton of water I thought I was the only one who calculated my paid porcelain throne visits!
ashittytakeonlife
We should start a club!
Bubbl3gum
I'm in.
Whybotherbeingcreative
Had a buddy that smoked for the same reason. 10minute cig breaks, so for 6 cigs smoked that is 1 hour of work time, or the price of a pack
Amp21
I hope that is per week not day
Kerryblue
this is disturbingly accurate
sjowe
Yes, getting paid for pooping is the best kind of pooping! I sometimes check my private mail at work. Thug life foe realz!
VaginaPuddles
That's my kinda pooping.
AmishPreacher
Way to stick it to the man
mordaedil
After having seen some of the shit you people leave behind, I dare not poop at work anymore.
reverendleonard
That seems like a shitty take on life
LearnedCoward
http://www.workpoop.com/
sezwat
Relevant
ashittytakeonlife
Hahahaha yes!
CliffLee
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
PowdrdMilkMan
TheDauphin
Expected this to get more points on this thread
underscoreneckbeard
This is my new favorite gif.
mollyegg
That's a fitting username you have there.
ashittytakeonlife
;)
stillmatic
You need to make a meme of this immediately
ashittytakeonlife
Done, though it will die in user-sub
stillmatic
Send me the link I'll upvote and share
CurtyDunt
"Assuming you work every weekday during the year. The 35 hour mark is more appropriate." - Captain Buzzkill
Tonguetamer
Actually he's only assuming that he works 240 weekdays per year out of approximately 260.
KMV9
Correct! 50/week x 48 weeks (52 - 4 weeks vacation/holidays) = 2400. This is glorious and I have shared it with my whole sad office.
campex
Captain Buzzkill is no match for - PROFESSOR ACTUALLY! https://i.warosu.org/data/tg/img/0263/26/1375190598939.png
shittymalone
he can compensate for this by increasing his daily shit time to 11 minutes.
CurtyDunt
Or his DST index as it's less commonly known
ashittytakeonlife
Solid advice, from a trusted source. Shittymalone, for all your pooping questions.
kenpokid4
Heh. *Solid* advice.
fr33m3
"When I go to the toilet for #2, I tend to stay extra 5 minutes for the peace and quiet"
ThatsWhatSheSed
You and me both...
xerox13ster
"peace and quiet" ya right, mate. We all know yer in there havin a yank.
fr33m3
The sad part is I actually play Sudoku on Hard Mode. And no, it's no pun.
Rhase
I used to check my phone and/or read erotic fanfiction. Now I mostly stretch because sitting so long is bothering me and it really helps.
7thTimesTheCharm
This is my favorite work place series yet!
iwasliekwtfomg
this
Whhpssh
No doubt. Audible chuckles.
andyskeels
Too much excitement for me! Whew- what a roller coaster ride!
VulcanWithoutLogic
I'm with you! *high five*
wellwhadyaknow
I actually read all of these. Usually I'm unimpressed by the 3rd or 4th
SuperiorPosterior
I keep wanting to add my own, but the only job that ever had interesting things happen was my bakery job and that ended in '14.
kittenkisses
Hnnnnngggg I want to upvote you but your points are 1234
Honorius77
This is awesome if read in the voice of Doug from Up.
Vesane
This is actually the first one I've read, so you know. Thrilling >.<
OtherErinFromTheOffice
As oversaturated as imgur is with them right now, they are (mostly) interesting. Some are stupid and unrelatable, though.
idonthaveanyideawhatthehelliamtalkingabout
yeah i agree, most of them are really interesting
upsidedownmeloncake
This is kinda my life. And I actually like it. My stapler has my name on it.
Leoxcr
So plain, so real, so believable, so similar to my life.
IJustWantToSaveStuff
My thoughts exactly.
pvncake
wow, such story, very work, many funnies
voodoopirate
I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard at how accurate this is to my own life. Well +1 for making me feel pathetic
brethamus
Hands down
ngaplease
Don't forget about the monthly birthday cakes and holiday potlucks.
ThatsWhatSheSed
Forgot to reply to this one. Spot on, they're so boring and no one really gives a hoot.
LateNightBunnyParty
"Conversate" is not a word. You mean converse.
NurehaFord
boo, i like conversating.
dogenuggets
Yeah, the Urban Dictionary is quite harsh on that point.
Kastegris
Ahhh... The good old tedious office cubicle, where dreams die, and people become drones
[deleted]
[deleted]
twistedviking
I got the same thing. I do my tickets and then do my own stuff, mostly CCNA studying these days.
LondonSing
To be honest they have an unreasonably bad reputation. I was completely okay with working in a cubicle-style area when I did finance.
cucumbersome
I started my current cubicle based job a month ago. Compared to working retail, this is Heaven.
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
Amen. I hate it when newbies who never done retail complain about the job, and I'm here having the easiest time of my life
Ikillmiceforaliving
I want an office job. 9-5,,, I want a family soon. And having a certain time frame is better than many jobs. And I need family, dreams MEH!
werdCAsquared
Just slowly crushes your soul. Especially someone two pay grades above you not knowing how to copy and paste something into excel.
twistedviking
Those people are why I draw my ludicrous paycheck. Helping C-levels and VPs with mundane shit gets you attention.
werdCAsquared
Ludicrous you say? It's always like, "man this type of knowledge is invaluable in our organization.......... Now fuck off"
FreshCaviar
Tbh, I would love this level of tedium and monotony. It's a personality type, I guess. Doing repetitive tasks helps me free my mind.
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
For some reason "Tbh" always registers first in my mind as Russian... I'm Mexican.
Widget88
Says the guy who probably doesn't work in an office cubicle environment and doesn't actually know what it's like.
Sofarer
It's probably just his excuse for being unemployed.
twistedviking
Working 40 hours a week leaves you 128 other hours to follow those dreams.
BloodTinted
Dreams die if you let them die. Just because people have office jobs doesn't mean they can't pursue anything else.
captaingalatea
Considering how shitty so many other available jobs are? I'll gladly take my cushy office, please and thank you.
wam3483
Well, I doubled my wage in 5 years in an office job, so there's that.
twistedviking
I've been promoted in less than a year at three of my last four jobs. Being useful pays. Literally.
wam3483
Good job man. Was telling my friend to do just that yesterday. Said "take every hard job you can. Offer to take it. Work 3 years, and 1/2
wam3483
quit for a pay raise. Do that twice and you can double your pay." thats what I did. Not much room for promotion in what I do though. 2/2
JosephDunaravich
As a dev, I'd prefer a cubicle to the open office bullshit currently in style any day.
Idontlikemyusernamesoimchangingit
We moved to an open office thing a few months ago. It's so inefficient. We can hear everyone else on their calls and it's distracting.
JosephDunaravich
No kidding. I don't like having to choose between wearing headphones all the time or being party to every single conversation.
Idontlikemyusernamesoimchangingit
Yeah. Plus it just feels weird, we're like gofers now or something, if you stand up to go somewhere everyone can see you.
qwicksilfer
I never minded the cubicles. Mine had medium walls and I decorated it and got to work on awesome projects with nice people.
WhoIsTheDodie
I love being able to sit on my ass all day. But man I do hate the color of the cubilces.
rocknrollqueen
Decorate your cube!
Idontlikemyusernamesoimchangingit
My old office had no windows and grey cubicles. I covered the walls in blue wrapping paper, I loved it.
noisetosignal
Drones, yes.
SonOfAVondruke
Or ya know, the place people who don't have grand dreams make a good income and provide for their families. Your thing is good too though.
thenoisegeorgemichaelmakeswhenannbreaksupwithhim
this.when you realize that your grand dreams won't put food on the table, an office job sounds like heaven. being able to
thenoisegeorgemichaelmakeswhenannbreaksupwithhim
pay your bills and maybe travel once a year? yes, please
laestrella
Doesn't mean it isn't boring as hell for some people.Doesn't everyone have some kind of dream?
Idontlikemyusernamesoimchangingit
My office job is the sort where things come in, I do it, then once it's done I work on my freelance stuff. Job security & dream work 2-for-1
TheImgurNeoConConcious
what do you do for the freelance portion
laestrella
That's great that you are able to do that. I think in one way or another people need to do what they love.
Idontlikemyusernamesoimchangingit
Thanks, I feel pretty lucky myself. I used to only do freelance full time but ended up getting this job as well when I started saving for -
TheImgurNeoConConcious
what do you do for the freelance portion?
Idontlikemyusernamesoimchangingit
Concept art, logos, presentation material, texturing, general design work.
ApotheosisCM
The verb is "converse".
xToolmanx
That's why he's at a desk job
SportsPhotoGirl
THANK YOU
ItsCaptain0bvious
maltbrew
"converse hate"
chbarts
Correct grammar kind of sneaks away in these posts.
uglyshirts
Thank you. Have an upvote.
IgnatiusJReilly2601
It's a perfectly cromulent word.
Ghretto
Gawd, thank you! I didn't want to be the dick who said it, I'm glad you were though.
HerpNDerpington
thank you. this burns me like a double shot of "expresso"
atav008
Or something that "must of" been caused by something else... MAKE IT STOP!
KelThuzadDidNothingWrong
Pretty sure it's "conversationalize".
ConfederacyOfDunces
Correction, that is a brand of shoes.
FuckThisThingInParticular
Silly ApotheosisCM! Converse is a shoe!
dogenuggets
Which is totally different to Inverse, which is the exact opposite of a shoe.
practicalfrost
English & Translation major here, "converse" is really archaic, whereas "conversate" is much more common, especially with the ing-participle
IMentionedTheBisque
But just because it's more common doesn't mean it's right.
maltbrew
Like our favorites, literally and figuratively.
TimothyTRiG
Really? I would say that /converse/ is formal, but not archaic; /talk/ or /chat/ is informal; and I've never heard /conversate/ used.
TimothyTRiG
Seriously. Never come across the word before. (I'm Irish, if it helps.)
thestruggleisreal
Thank god. This has to be my number one pet peeve. I don't even know why.
pandabear411
Not in west Texas it ain't.
FerricGuy
that's a shoe.
The22ndDoctor
Only when they are having a conversion.
th3giv3r
"Orient" or "orientate" (as a verb)? GO!
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
A verb? As opposed to orientate as a fish?
th3giv3r
http://cdn4.everyjoe.com/wp-content/gallery/stunned-silence/stunned-silence-gif-1.gif
MeasleMeasleMash
I recognize your username, does the word "dashnet" mean anything to you?
erkala21
THANK YOU
NOINOON
Yeah. I'm pretty sure I didn't put my feet into a pair of conversations this morning.
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
*conversates
beardyfaceguy
Thank you, I didn't know that either.
WalkenComma
http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2009/01/added-bonus-irregardless-of-what-you-think-quot-conversate-quot-is-a-word/6549/
Moonadon
I know you are right but I much prefer "conversate" now
Whetu
I intend to conversate about this word to my colleagues tomorrow.
zutalors
I see what you're presentating here
SamMan
I rather like conversate though, can we make it a thing?
littlespacebased
I always thought people meant it in a joking colloquial sort of way when they said conversate.
TestNamePleaseIgnore
Exactly. I'll sometimes use it to be intentionally goofy.
DenverPostironic
A few. I have corrected more than one person who legitimately thought that the verb form was "conversate."
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
Who'd've thunk it?
DIsiahTBillingsClyde
Not if you're Biggie, it ain't. He love it when they call him Big Poppa
IbetterFedeliskSKIELSKPadarscoumbBABARND
this deserves more points
jarry123
Equally the verb was "to orient", the noun " orientation". Now the verb is "to orientate". Language changes, yo.
HerpNDerpington
Can't wait to presentate my presentation on this very topic
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
But rarely does it change for the better when it comes about through a shallow understanding of existing words.
jimmityjammity
I think you'll find it's 'conversationing'
KingOfTheAnarchists
I'm gonna quote biggie here:Conversate for a few, cause in a few, we gon' do What we came to do, ain't that right boo (truuuueee)
TwoHookersAndAnEightball
If you've never heard the Mindless Self Indulgence remix, I strongly suggest you check it out.
Therearetoomanyusernames
Great...now that's gonna be stuck in my head all day...
kraftwahrheit
That is irregardless to the post.
teklanis
But...irregardless isn't even the right part of speech for that sentence. Aauuughhh!!
Sumnus
*Woosh*
teklanis
Using 'conversate' (technically a word now, hurrah popular usage) in place of 'converse' is not the same as having shitty grammar.
MazMaz
*eye twitches*
thepuppet
Came down here for this commnent.
NinjasStoleMyMama
aspiringgoodenoughist
Well supposibly it's just some fruit for thought
bluecardinal
Don't get all flustrated.
aspiringgoodenoughist
Hey this isn't rocket surgery, you don't have to tell me!
bluecardinal
Or as my co-worker says, "I can't even phantom how that happens."
HaliRyan
I don't know why, and I'm not normally bothered by these things, but people using 'irregardless' is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
fdinthea
Yes!
dogenuggets
What pacifically is the problem here?
beautifulpeanutbutter
For all intensive purposes, at least OP got his point across.
ThatOnePolarBearOnTheLeft
You should of said "intents and"
IbetterFedeliskSKIELSKPadarscoumbBABARND
you monster.
GraphicsInterchangeFormat
No your the monster.
kimmielou3
but that would be correct...
ThatOnePolarBearOnTheLeft
But surely it should be "should *have*"" or the contraction "should've". "of" is a preposition, "have" in this context a verb.
MyWeeLadGimli
The joke is that he/she incorrectly said "should of" while correcting the earlier phrase.
HaliRyan
I don't know why, and I'm not normally bothered by these things, but people using 'irregardless' is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
ThisNameDoesntMatter
There is a woman at work that says irregardless an unnecessary amount of times throughout the day. I want to slap her so hard.
SelfConsciousAboutMyUsernameSoIWillJustDoThis
I'd love to ask those people what they think 'regardless' means.
xmaneds
It's totally incontroversial!! And I'll thank you not to bring it up!
JaxAndHisLampPost
Is this thread inflammable?
Tylendal
Pretty sure OP said "Conversate". I'm not sure what it means, but whatever it is, obviously people were doing it.
AbeFromanSausKing
If I can masturbate, I can conversate.
wartoaster
Blame Biggie, he cane up with it
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
Conversate is the colloquial term for converse in the US. Some people use it, but it's technically not a word & grammatically incorrect.
danjo
It can also be used to mean you're regularly having sex with someone though.
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
really?? I've never heard of that! "Yah we conversated like bunnies last night" haha
danjo
It something people will say on like Judge Judy and shit. "He and I had been conversating for a while."
murderhobbit
Everytime I use it I'm joking in some manner
Pangs
When I say it, I say it like Leon Phelps.
TestNamePleaseIgnore
What makes something technically a word?
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
I guess if it's defined in a dictionary? Although most people use the internet now & urban dictionary exists...so I guess anything can be
TestNamePleaseIgnore
Dictionaries describe language as it is used by people. So if people are saying "conversate" then it is a word.
Tylendal
Wait... it's actually something that people use? Why?! It's got 50% more syllables.
Arrkhal
It's pretty much always backwoods hicks that do that. Another popular one is "condensate" instead of condense. Condensate is a noun.
hipsterhank
I always assumed it was a joke. It never occurred to me they thought it was correct, even though I grew up w/ a lot of backwoods hicks.
ReadOnlyMemories
I know one! "burglarize" instead of simply "burgle".. For whatever reason in the US they like adding "ize" or "ate" on to the end.. ate. XD
gengumby
grammar-gate
hipsterhank
To the uneducated, more syllables sounds more refined--which is why so many people use "myself" in place of "I."
Oniloke
What is a 'colloquial term'? (non english/american person here)
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
It's sort of like slang. It's informal speech. So it may be ok to use in a conversation with a friend, but not in a letter to your boss
flamingflamingo
"Colloquy" means "conversation". So a colloquial term, or colloquialism, is a word that's very informal and used only in conversation.
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
Although people are somewhat perceived as uneducated if they use it since converse is the correct term, unlike some colloquial expressions
ThanatosElNyx
A word or phrase you'd use with friends but wouldn't use in a formal setting.
Oniloke
So a socially accepted mistake?
rebeccaisafish
Slang... sorta.
bf3c
"correcting" somebody who is using a perfectly cromulent word? that's a paddlin'. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conversate
ian9outof10
It does say in the entry that it's not a real word. It then goes on with the bluster about how language evolves, but it isn't a word.
Dominiricanish
I like how the definition even says "converse".
nothankstoyou
"Nonstandard except in some dialects."
lethaldeathmittens
That word is non-cromulent. It's awful.
ian9outof10
It does say in the entry that it's not a real word. It then goes on with the bluster about how language evolves, but it isn't a word.
TK421isAFK
But if we ignore the ingress of non-words into the lexicon, how long until the language deteriorates into incompatible local dialects?
ImageLrr
Google doesn't even define it. It gives you sites that have and 3rd on the list is UrbanDictionary.
teklanis
But it sounds bad.
VerboseDood61
My favorite one to hear is "I don't have an accent."
teklanis
Well duh. Everyone else has accents, not me.
AustralianHandstandChamp
It's a bad back formation. That is like saying that clarificate is a word instead of clarify.
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
Or societal: for people who didn't realise the word social already existed.
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
Or to commentate. Despite its now common use.
AustralianHandstandChamp
Commentate has come to have it's own unique meaning outside of just the wrong way to say comment. Language evolves.
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
I'm not saying language doesn't or shouldn't evolve but what is the unique meaning there again?
pringlesyum
Idiocracy full steam ahead!
alasdhairmm
As someone who works in an office, I can confirm this is completely true...
circlejerkingaltfgs
100%
thiscannotpossiblygowrong
LIES! I totally haven't been stealing your stapler!
alasdhairmm
If I find you've been stealing my stapler, so help me god I will end you.
kittycatsarefreakingCUTE
As someone who just started my first office job and I have to be there in 40 minutes.... Fuck.
rakhsh
Something something attend meetings something avoid work something
ashlisa424
I'm usually more than "mildly inconvenienced" at some of this stuff but this calms me down.
severice
Who has your stapler?
tooomanysteves
Ditto.
shaunc13
Same. I agreed with all of these, except the lunch one. We have no set time for lunch, so sometimes I have lunch at 12:30, sometimes 1. 1/2
DaveNI
I had an idea about doing the same sort of series. But you did a far better job. And I am lazy.
sparkledick
Yup, add in some comped travel and you got me. Also staring at those blue carpet cubicle walls that EVERY office has.
bearhill2
Managed to get a proper room w/ walls, huge windows and a small extra table with chairs.. it is my first job. One of the lucky few I guess.
sparkledick
I have a big office, about 15x15, but it's made out of cubicle walls bc the building is just an open floor plan. First real job too!
bearhill2
That's great though, even if it is cubicle walls! I've previously done internships at places where one sit elbow to elbow..
sparkledick
I sort of had a big office at my old job as a broadcast engineer, but it was just a desk in the rack room.
Poodlebrain
I've never worked in an office with cubicles. It's all "open plan", so you're basically sitting in a huge cafeteria
underpantswizard
It has it's perks. Sometimes I am a little late but sometimes I stay a bit late. Sometimes I go to lunch at 2pm, sometimes 12. Wutevs.
severice
ANARCHIST!
slicknilla
Holy shit I just realized how boring I am.
slicknilla
I prefer the late lunch so the rest of the day goes faster. Also, less people and better service at my favorite establishments.
twistedviking
You understand how it works.
underpantswizard
Absolutely. I work 10 - 6:30 anyways, so eating a normal timed lunch leaves me with 5+ hours left in the day. NO. WAY. Btwn 2-3 is my jam.
ConorDoesAThing
I work an office 9-5 and almost none of this applies to me in the slightest.
LearnedCoward
If you work in a big faceless cube farm, this will definitely apply.
RedRaider93
http://imgur.com/IRrtZlt
ConorDoesAThing
No, I get the joke. The joke is 9-5 jobs are mundane. But I'm fairly certain the person I'm replying to is insisting the post is true.
afunnyusernameperiod
To me neither. As a guy who worked in laboratory I fell that working in an office is very stressful and very low productive.
LearnedCoward
As someone who has been both a lab geek and an office worker, this is so very true.
moonrhino68
more elaboration. why? what were the diffs?
afunnyusernameperiod
1. Open office: I have trouble to concetrate while ppl are talking near me
afunnyusernameperiod
4. No privacy to talk on the phone. Maybe these are troubles that only my office has.. dunno
afunnyusernameperiod
2. Lazy coworkers will always try to get some help from nearby ppl 3. It's frustrating (for me) stay closed in air cond. the whole day
Dipityseren
Offices are hotbeds of utter insanity. Things can be normal in some, but some can also spiral out of control into absolute madness.
specialpasta
any work environment can get crazy because a lot of people are crazy.
Dipityseren
I've seen grown men throw a full-on tantie because they didn't get the office they thought themselves entitled to & that was the least of it
moonrhino68
how do people like this keep jobs?
Necropants
I saw someone throw a screaming crying fit because her new office chair didn't come fully assembled.
Dipityseren
Fkn offices, I swear to god, people can loose their bloody minds. It's not natural, it what, too many people shoved in together. No escape.
Necropants
This person was known for throwing fits. She was actually a professor. I worked for a university for nearly 10 years. It was..interesting.
Necropants
This person was known for throwing fits. She was actually a professor. I worked for a university for nearly 10 years. It was..interesting.
ProcrastinateurParExcellence
As someone who doesn't work in an office, is it as good as it seems?
OhnoDinosaur
It can be monotonous but it's a pretty flexible work environment. I'm at a non-profit, though, so it's a little different than most offices
rollercostarican
Depends on the work environment. Good boss/bad boss? Do you like what you do? Do you like your coworkers? Etc.
RageCuddles
I love my office job, mostly because my coworkers are great and I used to clean houses in college so any job next to that is amazing.
BloodTinted
Yes it really is just got a job at carnival cruise line and I work in their corporate office. I plan on staying till i retire.
jmartkdr
It's really more a lack of bad than actual good. You basically don't have customers, which is super nice.
dyingallthetime
Honestly it's quite convenient and easy going
Naturally90
Absolutely depends on your boss in my opinion
kittenkisses
I love my boss, have my own mountain view office, the workload isn't overwhelming, and I never deal with the public. I fucking love my 9-5.
bobena
out of curiosity, what do you do?
kittenkisses
I'm an assistant underwriter for personal lines insurance policies. It's entry level. No degree required. Should lead to great things!
bobena
out of curiosity, what do you do?
ProcrastinateurParExcellence
I know this is an intimate question, but may I ask what you do and what your approximate pay is? You're kinda giving me hope for the future.
kittenkisses
I haven't forgotten about you, I will pm you.
ProcrastinateurParExcellence
Take your time! Imgur has been messed up for me (everything loads SUPER slowly) for a long time now, and at the moment it's worse than ever.
StarmanUltra
It really depends on what you're doing and if you enjoy it. I recently switched a few job duties and I'm no longer stressed every day.
SardonicGrin
If you like your boss, are okay with your job duties and don't hate your coworkers, then yeah. It doesn't suck.
Martecles
Yeah, as long as you can sleep well at night with what you do at work, it's great
klucky
My god it sounds like heaven.
iDrinkDrano
Depends on what you want to do with your life. Climbing the ladder can steal your humanity, and even if you don't you might 1/2
bearhill2
Someone told me that the climb is all there is...
SardonicGrin
No. Honestly there can be a lot more depending on what you do. I once worked for a workers comp insurance company. Even though I 1/2
SardonicGrin
Was just a paper pusher, I got a lot of satisfaction knowing I was helping people injured on the job get the treatment.
iDrinkDrano
It's pretty much true. :(
bearhill2
Only way to get an iron throne in one's cubicle.. :/
iDrinkDrano
get thrown under the bus so someone else can climb. Office politics have made this pansy break down a couple times. Please save me. 2/2
Martecles
Go work for a law firm. That's how you can lose all faith in humanity real quick.
iDrinkDrano
I'll just kill myself now
twistedviking
I'm glad there isn't this level of shit in IT. We just all want to get things done.
yaluen
Altho I've heard of office politics at Microsoft from a friend. Chinese looking to backstab you, Indians looking only after their own...
iDrinkDrano
Part of my job is IT, but our full IT department gets firing squad treatment regularly.
TheNonInsestuousJaime
Just do what I did, step 1: befriend your bosses' boss, step 2: get fired by your boss for some bs excuse cause he thinks you want his job
iDrinkDrano
1: Work hard. 2: Sub-boss says not to cause thrash by reporting your work to management, they'll do it. 3: Learn they've been taking credit.
moonrhino68
everything i hear about office politics makes everyone sound like a dickhead. is it really that bad?
TheNonInsestuousJaime
step 3: go on imgur all day for a stress free envirioment step 4: need money for food and crap (toilet paper) step 5: get job and start over
ThatsWhatSheSed
This is satire, incase anyone was wondering.
antilion
"well dah"
nflgeneric
It's also very very true.
ThatOneSleeplessOP
But I like those posts :(
TheBreaux
Of course, my experience with 9-5 work, even at my last less awesome job, is not nearly so rigid as this implies!
NotABadLookingNarcissist
From someone who's worked in a boring office, it's pretty spot on. +1
secretingredients
You never make the subtext text man... Never!
howyougonnaripitlikethisson
Yeah except not really =(
thatnewwordsmell
I am not sure we have built up that level of trust needed to accept this as satire and not plain truth. I was sensibly amused.
wambu
Not when you pointed it out. It changed. It's now like Schrodinger's Office.
KeatonTS
and you're satan for having 666 upvotes
SarcasticComment
it's not a satire. It is pretty freaking true to my boring desk job that pays me to imgur most the day
mvp84
Hi mildy inconvenienced, I am dad.
iforgottowearpants
You sure? It sums up my life pretty nicely.
nice2pleaseyou
I don't want to upvote your comment because it has exactly 666 points :(
avdl64
No it's not.
bigjoemonger
Did you do the TPS Reports yet?
redloki55
Hey, that is my job you were describing!
ToxicPineapple
I am a software developer typing this in my cube. You pretty much hit the nail on the head. Except we have nerf-ball wars at random times.
BionicToad
Sadly, entirely true.
Protean2648
But do you work at a real office? I never understood what it is people do there. Like "write a report" yeah but on what? How? Why?
Kedearian
This is my real life.. i'm actually a joke.. damn.
brotasticbrojaculation
don't joke about staplers. places have been burned down over it.
JeremyMatta
Satire.... This seams to familiar to my life
lichtly
Fuck you, this is my life.
CreepyPhlox
May be satire to you, but it's real life for me *crying under my desk*
berz
its pains me that you would have to point this out for others
Idonthavealottosay
Whattttttt
egaode
OOoooohhhhhhh
wlfman
except this is perfectly accurate for working a 9-5 cube farm job....
Jakuberno
You're my hero ;-)
J0765
No, this is reality for 90% of us.
travbow
I'm pretty sure satire is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the civil war era.
ThatsWhatSheSed
Ahhh. *In case
Frozenaccess
*converse
ThatsWhatSheSed
You are correct, sir.
Frozenaccess
*ma'am (sorry XD I had to with that one)
ThatsWhatSheSed
Damn. I'm just F'ing up left and right
Kiwi31415
Apart from the cubicles (we've gone open plan - Yay!) you pretty much described my job.
moonrhino68
i fee l like that'd be a better environment except when you dick around on the internet and everyone can see
mateysaidwot
Except for one about the stapler.
thesarahpowellexperience
Really?! I had no idea, wow, mind blowing!
TedTheMan
satire, maby. my life. yes.
notta
Except for the being late 15 min and No one saying anything.That was my first clue that this may not be reality.Unless you mean to your face
ShutUpImWorking
nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... .reaaaaalllyyyyyyyyyy ?
iSoulend
Good luck getting your stapler back! But we know you won't ever see it again...
finallyinfinite
And it was fabulous haha
mutuallyrepulsive
Well I'm glad that after all the sob stories, the job stories are trending now.
mutuallyrepulsive
Maybe we'll hear some mob stories eventually.
poguemahon
Well hello satire. I hope you find your stapler.
Sparkles42
So you lied to us OP!?! What do you actually only work 9-4 or something??
Jdems
I like to think these types of posts are how the PC "simulation" games started......
sansenoy
Not anymore
skoota46
Do you find your stapler in a bowel of jello
LimitDoesNotExist
Lets conversate on this.
driveslow
Yes but I showed up to work today at 9:55. Normally I show up at 9:30 and sometimes 9:05! Then the craziest thing happens.
duckshooter
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1jvywv3LB1qbpthl.jpg
sooner518
this sounds basically exactly like my job. how is it satire?
ffilm
I don't get it. You sayin' it's all fake? Just to get a chuckle? . . . . . . Ok, works for me.
slicknilla
Really? This is literally my life at my office.
Pyrowolf1
Your 9-5 job is creating satire? That sounds a lot more interesting than your post makes it seem!
NerdyDirtyCurvy
This is the only one I upvoted. Thanks for the laughs, as another office worker.
dunecat1337
The post, or this comment?
IWishPeopleWouldStopStealingMyUsernames
Maybe, but the battle for staplers is very real! The stuff life-long feuds are made of
antilion
"well dah" - marge simpson
Squirrelmastersbitch
Hi satire...
NOINOON
... this is Patrick!
Xenarion
THIS IS SPARTA!
capnsebastian
More like SASSIRE, AMIRITE GUYZ??
brethamus
This had to be done. I can't believe I haven't thought of Office Space. Bravo
d1d1t4t3hlulz0hl4wdy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgVYbrZBq9k&feature=player_detailpage#t=12
22BytesOReality
Ahhh. I believe someone has my stapler.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
Creeponomist
I love you.
zikalista
I not only appreciate your satire, but appreciate your need to elucidate this as satire. +1 OP, I get your humor.
lpgeek
satire and sarcasm have no place on the internet
BubbleTeaFox
I know this will get lost in an ocean of replies, but I thought these were very funny (especially the last one). Well done OP, +1
ThatsWhatSheSed
Lost? Nah! I got you. +1
BubbleTeaFox
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧
InboxMeYourGermanShepherds
No, this is Patrick!
apatheia
But you forgot to put all the detailed descriptions in each of the pictures. :/ still, up vote for you!
CetaceanResearcher
You don't have a boring desk job? http://m.quickmeme.com/img/94/94a50814ead655e241c2bc4b1d96bd02a8f16808b96ddd25ecdb755f7ac5fec3.jpg
ThatsWhatSheSed
I work at Google, which is rad. But I still work at a desk and it's pretty F'ing boring most days since I'm in research.
SarcasticComment
here's an idea, make a post of all the things the google office considers to be "art". I'm sure there's lots of random crap in the building
MoonFaceinc
I once nearly slept with someone who works for Google... I can't remember his name, so remember him wistfully as 'google guy'.
dhulqarnayn
really?
TheManWhoStaresAtTurtles
The point of satire is that you don't point out that it's satire, man.
Zimzyx
Perhaps pointing out that satire is satire is in and of itself satire of satire.....
SpoonOfDoom
Maybe this is satire about satire itself? Such meta, wow.
PalulukanMakto
So its a bit like Fight Club then
MilanDespande
Yeah but but as he says.. Some really dense mofos on here
Voodoomancer
He's reverse-psychology-ing the upvote out of you.
DDPB9k5G
poe's law implies you should point it out.
ShlurpGod
First rule of Satire Club is don't talk about Satire Club
ProbablyCrazier
fuuuuuu..... that comma....
ProbablyCrazier
man
kimmielou3
the period just smudged! or the top half of the semi-colon disappeared...
ProbablyCrazier
Keyboard smudges.... hate those!
ThatsWhatSheSed
Yeah, I agree. But this place is full of so many dense mother fuckers that I felt it was necessary to point it out.
gdunc111
I've decided that I like you and your style. Not that it means much but congratulations!
JustOneBite
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/013/005/3mLydMU.png
FriendlyGuyInWindowlessVan
I knew it was this image before I opened it.
randombrain
Same, but I had to confirm.
allthenamesaregone
Don't cater to the dense motherfuckers. We don't want them getting too comfortable.
Jerenemy
Too late.
CombatFountain
Yeah. Jimmy has already taken the couch. We don't want them taking to much more.
saltefanden
Well, ain't it just a bitch that people are so dense they can't grasp the subtlety of your satire.
GaryFreakinOak
I had to point out to multiple people that I was repeating an OP's words using different examples for sarcasm.
itsnotmyfaultyoufail
I once had to point out I wasn't really driving an 18 wheeler whilst using imgur
FutureDelayed
I once had to point out the window.
HolyLord
Also I took your comment as being satirical in itself, I was like your satire game is damn hot.
DeadSeaSalty
No, this is exactly what it's like to work in a cube farm. Except this is more exciting.
ninjadanny
I work in cube farm, this is all true
ThatsWhatSheSed
You're absolutely right. I'm just making satire from all the other "Crazy" or "Exciting" job related story posts.
mithiwithi
It also works as "things that are a serious inconvenience in a service job, are a non-event in an office job".
LadyWidebottom
Gosh, I got excited. I'm an office worker and my colleagues have been pinching pens off my desk for the last two weeks.
PhilthyPhil8917
What a bunch of assclowns
LadyWidebottom
To be fair, I handed in my two weeks' notice recently, so I'm ok with it. Less cleaning up for me, AND I get to steal office supplies.
frontyardninja
I have a coworker that won't make eye contact with me this week. She's real religious so I probably said fuck too much.
LadyWidebottom
"Oh fuck, I said it again! I'm so fucking sorry!"