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Jun 19, 2015 10:18 AM
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arghnard
Brunette with red shirt and big black lady wins.
DeusExCathexis
#5 That escalated quickly
deadandbloated
#11 hahaha a girl I dated for a bit tried to pull this shit on me... I asked her when the last time she pooped was
BB8fersure
Sat on a toilet where a mans peed? Bam pregnant. That's pregnancy scares in middle school.
SunfishHero
#13 Of course! Because you know it's sincere! Little bastards are always blurting shit like that out
britishdownunder
l agree with too many of these
liukangbakingapie
"All cuz he didn't want to watch Wife Swap"
HereForTheSurpriseMeat
I've had a pregnancy scare and I own a penis
AetherMcLoud
Haha, everyone knows you only drink red wine out of a bucket!
popculturella
I like watching it when I'm working out. It's a fun guilty pleasure.
arghnard
It's like the writers literally snatched all the top imgur comments relating to femininity.
friendshipforbeer
The wine bucket one made me laugh out loud. It doesn't happen often.
Vicvinergar211
This post looks like a period piece
SaintMaceToTheFace
She is the The funniest in my opinion
HeyFreckleFace
I think I laughed the hardest at that one. Sounds like something I would have said.
xXClitCommander69Xx
I was tripping on acid in a hotel room and watched a girl code marathon for 8 hours
YouCantFindMeNow
What a waste of an acid trip.
msa011
As a photographer I confirm #3. I work with lots of beautiful women. We retouch them all. We sell fantasy, people should be aware of that.
Chkari
I understand it's not your fault or opinion or whatever, but I think it's damaging to young women that we do this.
SaintMaceToTheFace
I'm a 22yr old male. This show was fun. Far better than guy code. Guy code was a one trick pony
shitsgoingdown
It's still on! The new season just started.
hockeyham
"Bacon-wrapped shrimp to loneliness" is going into my lexicon.
MyNameisBort
I feel terrible about how many of these I found myself nodding along with
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
It's shit like this that makes me think that girls perpetuate the need to be pretty and beautiful more than men do.
SmokeMeAKipperIllBeBackForBreakfast
No! Bad Ryan Gosling! That's irresponsible!
bloodymaery
I have to admit, I would probably have unprotected sex with Ryan Gosling.
SmokeMeAKipperIllBeBackForBreakfast
Although, if a women believed she was impregnated by RG via said fevered tryst, would it still be a scare??
asIalwayssay
No.
jakepooter
Lightning not lightening. Shit, you ain't making the room brighter!
NeverNonplussed
For an instant it is...
Christianabanana
Nicole Byer is my spirit animal. That thing she did about girls always flipping their hair around made me laugh my ass off. I hate it too
MoopsieWoops
Omg, yes, #13. A little boy once told me I was beautiful and it's still my favorite compliment ever
kerbie
Kids tell the truth!
Linkandpie
You know it's sincere when it comes from a kid cause they have no filters! This and getting hit on by gay men are the most flattering haha
RerackTheFingWeights
Once, what looked to be the most unbelievably stereotypical sassy black mama rolled up in her car and asked, "GURL! AH YOU A MODEL?"
MoopsieWoops
Omg, I would cherish that forever. What a sweetheart <3
Rumpsonumpso
Internet people call me beautiful all the time. In reality.. My mom told me, that I became a pretty girl. That's it. :)
judewashere
I'm the most trustworthy person ever, I was ugly as fuck in middle school
skelekittycat
I never grew out of the less flattering stage. I can work it but it takes a lot to make me feel pretty
themehgatsby
Oh God, me too. I got a perm, and I had a growth spurt that made my jaw crooked! Oh so very hideous.
yourmomsabanana
I had a bowl cut, but in grade 7 I decided to grow it out. That's when the boys were doing the hockey hair, so I looked even more like a boy
RerackTheFingWeights
Eternally grateful for what puberty did for me. Never got boobs out of it, but at least my hips don't lie and I make better haircut choices
FlatPlutoSociety
I had a mullet and wore sweatpants to school until like the seventh grade.
yourmomsabanana
I had a bowl cut and wore my brothers hand me downs. The first day I wore fitted girls clothes was a shock for everyone. Thanks Mom
FlatPlutoSociety
Er, special, not social. I'm typing like I'm drunk.
FlatPlutoSociety
I think you unwittingly starred in a feel good after school social movie. :-)
yourmomsabanana
...what?
LTPfiredemon
As a male I kinda wish I'd seen this before, these comments are just really interesting to me even if I can't fully identify
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
Probably the only good thing to come out of non music video playing mtv
Chkari
Please realize this is humor and not educational, though.
jeffreybaratheon
It's still on, they do marathons pretty frequently too.
Cookieconqueror
What channel?
jeffreybaratheon
MTV.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
The last one. Bangs. Pixie cut. Purple highlights. Perm. Anytime there's something horrible going down my first instinct is new hair.
manicoreganic
Me too! It's crazy.
MotherofSquid
Same here. I got bangs recently, and my boyfriend asked me what was wrong
mechanimated
It's like the emotional version of panicked camouflage.
bubblygrumpy
Nooo! I got a pixie cut off a whim and suddenly everyone wants to know what's wrong. Nothing! I just wanna look cute!
sch0f13ld
I dyed my hair for the first time after exams, so yeah, pretty accurate.
MakeitSuntoryTime
So true...I went from blonde to dark brown/purple hombre recently. It helps me face the day and feel like a BAMF :)
Chelly49
I had that emo hair cut, dread locks, bangs, really long hair past my hips then cut it off above my shoulders before prom.
UH60Mechanic
My father used to cut my hair into a bowl cut when I was bad as a child, and two events in my adult life have led to short cuts. For me, 1/2
UH60Mechanic
2/2 my long hair is a representation of strength, something like Samson, I guess? Anyways, both short cuts were not my choice. Bad times.
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
Teenage years, I hit depression hard and had a suicide attempt. For the next 3+ years, I was almost every shade of red.
TeslaCoil00
I once shaved the side of my head after I caught my ex-bf in bed with another woman.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
Ouch! :( i bet it looked awesome.
TeslaCoil00
You know, I got a lot of compliments on it actually!
Cassodeus
I normally change my hair when I'm trying to get out of a slump or I want to be more of a go getter. Weird connection to hair.
spaceystacey
True dat.
initialDee
I went ahead and got a short Mohawk. And dyed it pink and blue. I'm not a lesbian but that summer everyone thought I switched sides
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
I stopped doing pixie cuts for a while b/c my wardrobe was all baggy mannish clothes. Got called 'sir' daily. Whomp whomp.
beeratius
I haven't cut my hair in... a decade? And a lot of bad stuff has happened since D: (if it's relevant I'm a guy)
housewifecat
Yes!! High school and college. Finals? Time to chop and go red/orange/magenta/aqua/blue/whatever etc.
IHateBeingBipolarItsAwesome
A few days ago I had a major life change... my hair is purple now.
PentagramDreams
100% true. When I can't handle life I do something to my hair.
kerbie
As a hairdresser this is SUPER common! "I just broke up with my boyfriend lets chop it all off!"
Singingworms
After a break up I went to my hair dresser to drastically change my look, she refused. I trust her more than anyone with my hair now.
kerbie
I'll always ask multiple times if they're sure and suggest other things but I'm not going to refuse service to someone.
JuicyRhino
Haha, I just got a pixie cut because it's summer and I don't want to deal with it. Guess I'm not too attached to my hair (figuratively).
Ge3kyGecko
I am the opposite. New hair is a sign of happiness in my life! :o If it's long and bland, I've lost some verve. Short and colorful Is peppy!
lizzieskwrl
The length of my hair is a good indicator of how well things are going for me. Anything above the shoulders, I'm probably crying every day.
RerackTheFingWeights
I rarely let anyone touch my hair but me because I trust no bitch. I went and got enormous Zooey Deschanel bangs when I was depressed.
lizzieskwrl
TRUST NO BITCH!
saltedlemons
For me it's the opposite if it's above the shoulders I'm good. Shoulders to belly button also good. anything past that something's bad.
abrokentoy
I'm jealous that your hair grows fast enough for this. If I was emotionally distressed 3 years ago my hair would just be recovering now
DrubieR
Saaaame! Always chop it short when I'm in crisis.
cgibaboons6
Yes. Abusive relationship=chin length hair dyed black. I'm now happily dating someone nice and my hair is long and my natural color(blonde)
heartinlandslide
I chop off all my hair every time I break up with someone. Mid-back-length to chin-length, generally. And I always regret it.
motittiesmoproblems
I do this too!!! Cut it all off and dye it the opposite of what it was before
yahcodee
Yup.
yahcodee
Yup.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
I had to perm mine as it grew out so i could skip that "ginger Shaggy" stage.
heartinlandslide
Mine's already curly. I fear what would happen if I permed it.
RankaMarx
I moved out from my bf's place and now I want to bleach and tint my hair aqua.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
Do it! Aqua hair looks awesome! Just do yourself right and get a good bleaching kit & dye.
sassyasssassafras
Do it girl. You've got the chance. And if you hate it, dye it back!
stillbettingonyou
I went from "regular redhead" out of a bottle to a black to cherry red ombre after my last breakup.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
That sounds really neat. Sorry for your breakup :(
stillbettingonyou
All for the best. My current boyfriend is amazing!
Lillfot
#2 is my soul mate. I have the same thing with women. Anyone who says something nice to me, I instantly get a crush on.
leftyshuckles
Who is she?
mrdaine
As a 25 y/o straight male #2 has gotten me burned a few times
sasukate
I like your username (smooth).
ITookTheHobbitsToIsengard
It's reeeeeally awkward being on the other end of that. Like what am I supposed to do, start being a bitch? I'd rather not, but......
DeanWinchestersPie
That's why I'm never nice
romanticanddrenchedinsin
You again! Piiiiiieeeeeeeeeee
jayneebutidontgotagun
yup & no matter how insignificant the convo. even every person who replies or messages me on imgur. and i'm old! you don't grow out of it!
CommanderCaribou
I do that a lot. Im pretty sad that it never amounts to much
rawrrawrrawrrawr
My friend & I still talk about how we loved this guy who offered us his cab when it was raining. This was several years ago.
NiceCatchBlancoNinoTooBadYourAssGotSacked
Not throwing rocks at my head is a huge turn on.
Moocat
If a guy is cute and says something nice to me: Instant crush. It's bad. I was seeing an absolute douche 'cause at least he was pretty.
littlevulpix
My brother actually has hung out with her a bunch. His best friend is cousins with her. He says she's loud and has a lot of good one liners
mohansen
Same
SquirrelLaunchr
You both look delightful today! Did you do something different with your hair?
mohansen
I actually cut it yesterday thanks for noticing. i love you
thathoeoverthere
Wanna fuck? I'm a dude, a gay dude
FriendlySkynet
you might want to meet @asagayman
mohansen
No thanks. I'm good
Adam821
I am a male in my 20's and I thoroughly enjoyed this show. On the other hand, I couldn't stand guy code.
BigAZNMan
it was fratty bros and not guys or dudes you would actually agree with.
Adam821
Precisely.
wamccarthy
Guy code is fucking terrible.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Same here. Guy code was idiotic and shallow
Chkari
This isn't idiotic and shallow?
myradeathray
I used to watch guy code because I thought Dan Soder was cute
DavidMakalaster
Having never seen it, would I be correct in my suspicions that it featured the kind of fellows who would partake in a "cheeky Nandos"?
Adam821
I can't say I'm certain what I cheeky Nando is?
Draggonflies
(1/2) Urban Dictionary tells me that Nandos is a British restaurant chain for chicken and fries. Seems that cheeky means awesome, spicy, or
Draggonflies
(2/2)amusing in a naughty way
Adam821
Thank you, Sir/Madam, for doing what I was too lazy to do.
Draggonflies
Anytime. (Madam, BTW)
HorribleTruth
... I'm a female in my 20's and I enjoyed Guy Code.
Adam821
Maybe we just like seeing the other gender talk about stuff we normally don't hear about? Also, the red head chick was really cute.
TakeMyWorfPlease
Guys don't have a code. They think about boobs and pizza. Even the smart ones. Even the ones who listen to NPR and read a lot.
Adam821
Guys Code: Boobs and Pizza
Chkari
I'm female. I spend a lot of time thinking about boobs and pizza, too.
RyanAbe
Tis true. As a guy who reads a lot and used to listen to npr, there isn't a time I'm not thinking about butts and pizza...and starwars.
Supanini
I like both of them. Don't watch with a girlfriend though. Some hit too close to home
Adam821
Yea, I used to watch it with my ex when we were doing chores. It usually ended with me just watching and her doing chores.
deathamphetimine
wait what do you mean
Stoneagedudeman
The hair thing. That's a big one.
Supanini
Like they'd talk about stuff that was happening or had an effect on our relationship. And got kinda awkward
nspark48
That pregnancy one is 100% true
TraitorousTrump3
60% of the time.
Supanini
As a guy: can confirm.
Thetwitchy1
Having a pregnancy scare from over here is hard, bc you can't say 'hey hun, you haven't been bitchy lately, are you late?'
YesImProductive
Also: I would just let Ryan Gosling get me pregnant because then my child will be gorgeous
Supanini
Babe, you could mate with donald trump and your child would STILL be gorgeous
YesImProductive
Awww thanks! My greatest fear is that I'll have an ugly child.
Supanini
I consider myself slightly above average so maybe we can work something out? ;)
YesImProductive
I think my boyfriend would have issues if I started procreating with a random person online haha but I'll keep you in mind
grumpatsurrisrex
I just came out of my first unplanned pregnancy "scare" since getting married. It's also the first time I've been sad about it. :-/
scenicroot
Even if though I'm surgically sterilized I still wonder about once a year
MayorLavonHayes
Mary messed us up bad
SurpriseBidet
I had my ovaries removed 5 years ago and sometimes I get worried I'm pregnant.
diligenttomato
Then you see that show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" and lose all faith in your period forever.
buttsnbuttsnbuttsnbutts
That "I didn't know I was pregnant" show has scarred me for LIFE. Even if I get my period I don't trust it
grumpatsurrisrex
I know an OBGYN who got called to a delivery for a woman whose baby he had delivered days earlier. 1/2
grumpatsurrisrex
2/2 Turns out the first woman's grown daughter (same first initial) was also preggo and didn't know.
buttsnbuttsnbuttsnbutts
That's my greatest feeeaaarrr
ohokaythen
I took a pregnancy test two weeks ago because I hadn't had my period in 3 months but I haven't had sex in 4
Chkari
Uh, you could be pregnant. Unless you've had a period since the last time you had sex, you could be pregnant.
ohokaythen
I've had my period since the last time I had sex. Just didn't have my period for a while. I'm good.
daynight07
Go see the doctor
bexyrex
you're....very likely pregnant....
Ashtacular
When I was in Germany I had mono. My doctor convinced me, despite the fact that I'd never even seen a penis, that I was probably pregnant.
Cheomesh
Those are so wildly different I don't even.
Ashtacular
She heard "spent week with fiancee, really tired." He was stateside and had been diagnosed with Mono the day before.
Ashtacular
I was 20. For the record.
yoginioftruth
Oh honey!
Ashtacular
I don't know if it says more about me or the doctor.
Chkari
THE DOCTOR. I hate when they don't believe you when you say you don't have sex.
Chkari
Like, "I just admitted to you I haven't had sex in three years. WHY WOULD I LIE? I'm not pregnant!"
bananatoast
Right? Why was I thinking I was pregnant in 6th grade?
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
^ I would always get super panicky at the end of the month as a kid thinking I was magically pregnant without my knowledge.
Eowyneb
It happen to Mary! and you saw what happen to her later in her life! that shit is a death sentence.
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
Like what's gonna happen? A magic elf or Greek god is going to come down and whisper into my vagina while I'm sleeping? Bam pregnant
dustySoda
Inb4 virgin birth
dustySoda
Inb4 virgin birth
Clitastrophe
Airborne sperm. Commando stealth-sperm hiding on chairs. I saw a guy jerking off/rubbing his junk on the toilets in the girls bathroom once.
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
Navy seal sperm
MrSabdapalon
I'm a 25 year old man who lived in Spain for a year. This was the only English program on TV. I got addicted.
fufuwewe
its like the internet isn't real
MotherofMrFace
And now you know all of our secrets and must die... just kidding. Or am I....?
MrSabdapalon
You are kidding. I know all your secrets, remember? ....or do I?
CaptHollyShort
Whattt.. I watched loads of English tv in Spain. They had Happy Endings on one of the channels!
MrSabdapalon
I just had public TV and it was in the Canaries so the choice wasn't that great! Also, if you were at a hotel the channels are different!
Clorophyle
Public Digital TV can be set to original language since...2010 or so.
MrSabdapalon
In Spain? Great to know! Those Spanish TV manuals were so easy to follow.
Clorophyle
Are you being sarcastic? If you come back someday, you will be very pleased to see al the progress :P
MrsCletusKlump
What show was it?
RickyBobbyShakenBake
See title.. :)
MrSabdapalon
Girl Code...?
aMiniCelloAppeared
Bro srsly
RobertPaulsen88
It's not easy to guess the name of the show when he didn't use capitol letters in the title. It should be 'Any other Girl Code fans?'.
MrsCletusKlump
What show was it?
Cheomesh
How was Spain?
MrSabdapalon
Really, really, really warm. Really warm!
MrSabdapalon
I was in the Canaries so when it rained the Thunderstorms were crazy!
justinvernonsleftnippleenthusiast
Hey, I'm moving to Spain for a year. Any advice?
FranciscoBarros5685
Welcome to Spain where every thing is translated to spanish.
Webel
Dubbed, that's the problem.. Like I don't mind subtitles, but dubbing - nah.
FranciscoBarros5685
And its every single thing.
lidsyam
Which channel? I need to know. For science.
NMT1138
There's a show in English in Spain??
brickweed
My thoughts exactly :D
JamEngulfer
Yeah. You can get BBC there or something like it.
MrSabdapalon
Just the one it would appear!
NMT1138
I'll look for it next time I'm over. Spouse is from there; we visit a couple times a year. Usually watching bull fights or variety shows
brickweed
What channel?
misspinata
The pregnancy one is true. I constantly wonder if I'm pregnant even though I haven't ruffled the turkey in yonks.
blitherypoop
I only get nervous if sex has happened recently. I'm probably not even fertile, and we use condoms or spermicide, but I still get nervous.
ominousdusk
I don't have pregnancy scares. Only happy accidents
valkrez
What the fuck even.
da1227
Happily infertile, never expereinced. Would have to be the messiah.
ButterMyButt
I don't really understand what you said, but it's like poetry.
HeWentForARipLikeOhFuckYeaBud
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/2e/2e/77/2e2e77187c9d4118c5fea6a5ed428e70.jpg
Berethian
Ruffled the turkey?
BohemianRhapDaddy
I got the special sauce you're looking for... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw
spoonybards
Yup, pretty much every month as a teenager I was worried I was going to be a virgin mother (I never kept track of my cycle).
Lemesplain
Gobble gobble.
Cassiraa
As a girl who has been in a same-sex relationship for 7 years, this is true.
cantspellmanslaughterwithoutlaughter
The yonks, is that by the shire?
JeanLucPicard
You referring to this?
sms001
If I'm nattering away w/ some women at work and say "When's the last time you ruffled the turkey?" and get blank stares, I'm coming for you.
azurepenguin
As a 6 year old, let me tell you that you are beautiful.
IGuessThisBeatsWorking
laughed out loud at the second sentence.
F0rger
I followed most of this but took at wrong turn at the end and got hopelessly lost.
pringlesyum
Must be from Oz
HappyEngineer
Send help
Lioness8200
pls
SomethingSomethingDickbutt
That's what he said, right before she cried out in surprise.
littlespacebased
Like at least 3 yonks for me. The worst.
ImmortalSquid
I had a boyfriend who humiliated me verbally in high school in front of friends for worrying I would get pregnant without unprotected sex
CantLookHimInTheEyeQ
What an asshole.
kindsoberandfullydressed
hahahahaha "ruffled the turkey" goodness that's the best euphemism I've ever heard
severice
I'm a guy and I wonder if your pregnant. Gf sick in the morning? No calm down man she was sick last night too...
shotinthehead
I smiled or laughed at all of these but none ore so than your reply. Well done!
hyperbolichumility
Can someone gets suntitles for these subtitles?
carpenatem1
I constantly worry that I'm pregnant and I'm a lesbian
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
my mom once convinced me and herself I was pregnant when I was 14. i hadn't even kissed a boy before
justalittleone
It's really true. I'm one day late and I start to panic, even though I haven't done it in ages and have long term contraception.
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
I had a pregnancy scare when I was still a virgin. (Semen was involved.) And I had a pregnancy scare the only month I've had sex.
jimmycarrsweirdlaugh
Yup. "Oh fuck I'm having the next Jesus I DONT WANT TO BE THE MUM OF GOD!!!"
AimForTheLittleToe
THANK YOU! Knew I wasn't the only one, but I'm liking how EVERYONE skips straight to virgin Mary
meisabelep
I feel like this when my appetite is out of control. Three bowls of spaghetti? It's been months, so I must be the chosen one.
avocadocat
+1 for ruffling the turkey and yonks. That made me blow air out of my nose more forcefully than the entire post.
causality
Men get the same scare every time their girlfriend tells them she threw up before noon.
Skawomplious
ruffled the turkey. thanks for that.
DJNatsak
One time I got some man squirt on my knee and then I convinced myself I was pregnant
thegrrlnextdoor
I've exclusively had sex with other vagina-havers, and I still freak out when I'm late. I can't be the next Virgin Mary, I'm a heathen!
ExPFCWintergreen
I can fix that
thegrrlnextdoor
no thank you
O1189998819991197253
for a lesbian, I worry about this entirely too much, too
youpieceofdribblepiss
I'm a lesbian, and I was convinced I was pregnant the other day.
Berethian
Heh, Kiwi. Figured you'd be that or Aussie. Don't see Yonks much elsewhere.
kaffeen91
I think I'm pregnant even when I'm on my period.
equityforpunks
We could probably fix that turkey to some delicious greasy and moist highlight of a nice dinner.
Clitastrophe
Dinners on me~
WivesWithKnives
Don't you say that word you perve.
CaptainAshBacon
Am I bloated? Or am I pregnant? Did I have sex recently... Just bloated
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
I read that as if it were the lyrics of "are we human?.. or are we dancers?"
Boopbeepbeep
Or I have gas bubbles and I think, "Is that the baby?" (You don't feel the baby till months in) "Have I been pregnant all this time??"
CaptainAshBacon
Is it a baby or is it a fart?
TheGreyAlliance
Those words made me think you were making a Farscape reference, for some reason.... Not sure why.
marjarooni
Shit I haven't watched Farscape in yonks.
TheGreyAlliance
Never a better time. Hit me up if you need a marathon buddy, kay?
IFUCKEVERYTHING
Oh oh oh I want in on this! I've watched it 5 times so far. So good!
STR4NGERdanger
She's from New Zealand. Everything they say sounds like a Farscape reference.
misspinata
What the bloody hell is farscape ?
MyNameIsJeanValjean
A show you need to watch.
Silver
"ZealandLass"? New Zealand? Hello fair lady ;)
misspinata
Yo yo
Silver
South or North?
misspinata
North :)
Silver
Damn :/
XanderCross33
ruffled the turkey in yonks?
snurx
Wasn't that the town in Hello Dolly?
therealishjohnnyblaze
Its some dialect of english, roughly translated to 'havent had sex in a while'.
Plamf
We also use the term 'donkeys' for a long time
FredTwo
'Yonks' is an indeterminate, but significantly long amount of time
BigEatsBen
(Y)ears M(on)ths Wee(ks)
Talmorean
So like a fortnight? (2 weeks) Or a Coon's age? (7-10 years)
FredTwo
Like nothing like that. It's just a really really long time; no estimations, just subjectivity
celedream
Coon's age more like
theDarkLordSauron
Please tell me coon's age isn't a actual measure of tine
Talmorean
It actually is. And it's in reference to the average lifespan of a Racoon. Not the racial connotation