WellThatIsBecauseYouDidNotTryHardEnough
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Whenever your girl has her "monthly subscription of Lucifer's waterfall"
Warm up a ricebag, or a towel and let her put that on her stomach.
After she have curled into a ball of warmth, and the emotions seemed to stabilize.
Usually by then she would put the knives down and accept gifts.
Chocolate seems to be a safecard, and sometime candy also works as a charm.
carouselcues
thank fuck for birth control. i don't have to experience this as often anymore
sfprankster
It's all mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
LRidge
Imagine being a woman in the 1800s, you know, before it was socially acceptable to complain about this. You just had to take it.
ohgodmywifeisgerman
BillWeenus
Heat on the stomach helps my woman pipe down.
SonnyDunkin
I run red lights.
Vitty
Stand in the corner throwing chocolate at me until I calm down and then you may cuddle me
elleyea
Can confirm, information is accurate. Make sure you know what kind of chocolate she likes (ie: milk, dark, white (fake))
QueenDNicoP96
Food. Tightly sealed bottle of hot water to roll around on me. Do not fucking touch me.
Vectorman2
Then how am I supposed to roll around on you?
Spencer3035
It would be nice to use knowledge like this in a real relationship, but nope. Forever alone.
napu89
at least you aren't forever alone....with a period
TheWayADrillWorks
Aren't we all
itsmisskatielynn
upvote because i've never heard it called Lucifer's waterfall.
Ewanator
Bloody hell?
GBMaker
Sometimes it just plain sucks to be a woman.
JustARandomStrangerOnTheInternet
blame eve
Tails143
Snickers, potato chips, green tea, the remote, migraine strength excedrin, and leave me the fuck alone.
mixylodian
Dark chocolate covereed everything. Less guilt that way.
barbaramanatee
I eat an ungodly amount of potato chips on my period.
GBMaker
Actually, that sounds good.
weirdoinuse
Curling up makes the pain worse.. go for a walk
Vectorman2
I went for a walk but when I came back she was still complaining about the pain.
weirdoinuse
REALLY long walk... use your passport
slaitch
Chocolate, red wine, and Excedrin.
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
Not a bad start. But she wants food. Typically Chinese or Mexican. Sometimes sushi. Don't forget the heating pad, cuddles, and "I love u"
Afterscore
What if she doesn't like Chocolate and won't eat Candy? Really I'm scared for my life sometimes I need help please send help
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
2/2 and don't forget to rub back, thighs, and hips. Squirrel man, out:)
Tientchik
I just feed my wife dark chocolate n brush her hair
Vectorman2
I brush my chocolate and fed my ex her hair, she said I had a drinking problem or something (I wasn't really paying attention)
area42
at least you tried...
5Fingers
I <3 these gifs. There needs to be a Period Channel on YouTube so women can upload their period horrors so the menfolk can understand. 1/? >
5Fingers
Mine would feature me washing blood out of my sheets and mattress at 4:00 am because my period is never regular, and like an asshole 2/? >
5Fingers
only comes around after midnight. Sometimes it's every 28 days, sometimes it's 35, sometimes it's 46. I CAN'T PLAN FOR THIS SHIT! 3/? >
5Fingers
Then there's the period shits so I have to stay in the immediate vicinity of a toilet for 2 days, and let's not forget the immense leg 4/? >
5Fingers
and lower back pain that makes it hard to sit or lie down or stand up. It's the fucking worst. I can't even take Birth Control to 5/6 >
5Fingers
ease the symptoms because the hormones turn be into a needy codependent cry baby. Be nice to people on their periods. 6/6
whyisthatsofunny
Or.....advil and be normal.
Vixion
Eating a banana & taking Aleve are a pretty good combo for combating menstrual pain normally too. :)
jrt561
Seriously not all of us get completely debilitated during shark week. I do not want to be babied.
harmahalla
To some, yes. Then again some can barely move for several days, throw up etc. because of the pain and cramps.
atliens27
Thank you.
xelavia
As someone who dealt with extremely painful month long periods, advil stopped working really quickly.
spaceasaurus
Yeah. Advil is not quite powerful enough to control satan's waterfall.
whyisthatsofunny
Sadvil.
COLONELOBVlOUS
My wifes main issue with this period of the month, is her back pain, not stomach. odd.
ImHereToTellYouThatsWrong
Not unusual though, give the area a massage with some tiger balm and keep her stomach warm anyway. Worked on my SO a treat.
COLONELOBVlOUS
I'll try that next time.
GylfieTheOwl
I always had cramps in the middle but since birth control, my cramps have stopped, but now my back muscles just get EXTREMELY fatigued. .
anneboleynfan1
Maybe she has a tilted uterus. That's why my back always hurts too
COLONELOBVlOUS
Huh. Is this something worth being aware of?
anneboleynfan1
It can cause back cramps and back labor of she has kids. It made it painful the doctor to check my cervix for dilation. Nothing fun
COLONELOBVlOUS
I see. Thanks for the info.
InternetExplorer2001
Grace Helbig
realGeorgelucas
I think you mean Electra Woman.
TheQueenofLakeIlmen
Yesssss can't wait for Dirty 30
therealretto
My wife had a baby 5 days ago... the period pain is nothing. Her boobs are causing her terrible pain, her vagina is ripper to shreds.
MarioBoon
COngrats on never having sex again...
therealretto
Not to mention her uterus was the size of a watermelon and is now constantly cramping back to regular size.
sauerkrautsaft
is buscopan available in your country ? it really works wonders for cramps & is cheap, but check if it can go into the milk if she nurses
smileATapoppy
It'll get better. Childbirth is a bitch.
therealretto
I sure hope so.
pontiacgirl75
it will, it'll take a few weeks or so but it'll get better *source:I had 3 kids
AdmiralForeplay
What I do is put her in a triangle chokehold until she passes out then place her body in the bathtub so she can bleed out there.
whatdoesdonkeylike
Still more caring than what my partner does lol
hdotdl
The ancient method. They must purify themselves in the cleansing waters
IambeHeqit
I would actually be kinda OK with this. Being unconscious for my period sounds like a win.
AdmiralForeplay
I mean I've heard I'm a great boyfriend before, but this solidifies it. Thank you.
HeatherAubrey
I would welcome this! It sounds like the sweet relief I need during my monthly visit to Lucifer's waterfall.
whitelioncub
ah... good ol fashioned bjj
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
4 billion years of evotion and we still can't fucking do this without horrible cramping!?
SerialChillinSpree
The middle of evolving doesn't make sense...still moving into final form.
GBMaker
*evolution, but yeah, it doesn't make sense.
clawthewolf
Well, humans are amongst the few that does have periods, cause the body tries to reject the egg and the egg clings on for dear life
FooQuuxman
TIL: Eggs are badasses
GylfieTheOwl
Usually women were pregnant or nursing most of the time. We're actually more prone to certain medical problems now because we're not 1/2
GylfieTheOwl
'meant' to menstruate every single month for years on end. The constant hormone flux might increase risk for cancers, for example. 2/2
clawthewolf
Well, humans are amongst the few that does have periods, cause the body tries to reject the egg and the egg clings on for dear life
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
"It's simple, we kill the uterus."
itsakidsbooksantiago
Figures our eggs would have to be all passive aggressive about it.
Sparru
Wouldn't females die in the wild if their bodies paralyzed with pain and cramps every month? You'd think we wouldn't have survived.
GylfieTheOwl
Females would be pregnant or nursing instead of menstruating, honestly, which is a totally different set of hormone fluxes.
Sparru
Then again I don't personally know a single woman who has such strong pain and cramps as imgurians seem to have so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
gabadabagool
I'm sure the women in your life are just flocking to you to tell you about the severity of their menstrual cramps! You obviously know best!
Sparru
What are you getting angry about? Tell? I have eyes. They've never been bedridden or anything even close. I'm not trying to belittle anyone.
MusculusSternocleidomastoideus
I'm sure none of my friends know how bad mine are. I get nauseated and have awfull cramps in class, but learned how to 1/
MusculusSternocleidomastoideus
keep a straight face and make no noise. But at home, I cry and lie on the bed. 2/2
Turdnado
I just send her to a special place outside of town until things blow over, because she is unclean. That works the best for me.
JeepFreak1941
She must bring two turtles to the temple.
Lazzarwolf
She must sacrifice two doves at the temple.
FrauBlucher
Ah, the good old menstruation hut...
Yeastieh
Ahhhh the tribal life.
RedStarBeograd
That's what the bible says to do to women when they're having the period, put them on quarantine because they're unclean, crazy shit isn't?
ScaryScarab
Not really, it just says to not sit where they sit or something.
Mark777
My survival kit for Her 1.-Chocolate 2.-Ice cream 3.-Flowers 4.-Movies 5.-GTFO
Turdnado
Step 1). Skip to step five. Step 2). Profit?
area42
The Red Tent
Turdnado
Or you could call the The Red Keep.
WieldsMjolnir
"Lucifer's waterfall" made this worth the read... well done you
Lachastabiker
Something something red wedding down there.
nickoftime90
I prefer calling it "The Crimson Horror"
OverlyCynicalImgurian
Personally I prefer "Shark Week"
UghThisIsWayTooHard
I'm fond of Lady Bloodsport
LivingDecomposition
I got her a little stuffed bear that you can put in the microwave.
GeorgeoftheDongle
Technically you can put any teddy bear in the microwave
kanihaznaiph
THEY HAVE TEDDYS U CAN HEAT & CUDDLE?!?!?!
GBMaker
That is so sweet! Be careful, you might wake up with a ring on your finger.
LivingDecomposition
Nah. She left me for someone else a while ago.
yearnseq
:(
GBMaker
Ugh.
ThePrimrose
My cramps get so bad the pain induces vomiting for a day or two. And its lower back cramps at that. Pain pills are the only thing that works
SparklingCockWaffle
Ex used to ask me to her tea kiss and exhale on your stomach. Was the only thing that helped :-/
Saphora
I had the same. Turned out to be endometriosis. Taking the pill helped a lot :)
mialynneb
The older I get, the worse the cramps are. I just want to throw my uterus against the wall.
Thebae
Same. The nausea is the worst. I take BC to regulate my hormones, it helps a bit
teapartyyy
I have birth control implant. Makes me dead inside but I -can not- go back to having periods. If you have ever had a drainage hose 1/2
teapartyyy
removed from your lung while being awake that is how my cramps feels x2.
napu89
same here! Talked to my doctor about it and birth control helped A TON!
srslydude
I get that. I also get bad cramps in the front. Oddly enough, it got a bit better when I started using a cup.
OSCgal
If you haven't seen an OB-GYN about it, do. It could be just crazy hormones (like me), or it could be something serious.
pontiacgirl75
should see a doc for that, sounds like it's dysmenorrhea :(
Abolyss
As a dude Im likely wrong, but don't some types of 'the pill' help to calm down symptoms?
badClementine
As a reproductive health nurse, yes.
princesstigerliciaface
bc helps alot - if you can find one that works. i have 3 or 4 girlfriends who have never had luck no matter which type they tried.
ITalkAboutGoats
Sometimes, sometimes it makes it worse, and sometimes pills have awful side effects.
[deleted]
[deleted]
badClementine
What pill were you using?
[deleted]
[deleted]
Freedmin
Every uterus is different my man. It does for some but not for all, sadly.
Hopsnscotch
Also IUDs can
seridia
I've tried 2 different IUDs and they only made my cramps worse.
Hopsnscotch
Bummer, sorry to hear that :/
alliephotoshopsthings
Which did you try?
seridia
Mirena and Skyla.
showmeurpitties
Girl me to try cbd oil drops and cbd sleep aid it’s helped me so much!! And ice backs NO HEAT
itsakidsbooksantiago
Mine were that bad for a bit, thanks to a fibroid. On a pill where I only get it once every three months now so, profit!
6313326
I tried a persistent pill once. Instead of no period, I has ALL THE PERIOD! (A constant light-medium flow.) It suuuuuuuucked.
SpeckledOne
Try the depo shot. It has worked for me going on 7 years now.
itsakidsbooksantiago
That was what happened to me with the IUD! Frick, that was a miserable month or so.
6313326
The best part about BC is the side-effect roulette aspect of it.
itsakidsbooksantiago
Round and round the wheel goes. It's hard to get the communists out of the funhouse.
alliephotoshopsthings
Oh god I used to get those when I wasn't on the pill! It was like muscle spasms in my back, so awful.
alliephotoshopsthings
But also, see a doc if you haven't already. I have PCOS. A year into my IUD I barely get my period anymore though, it's great.
GylfieTheOwl
Me too until the pill. I still get cramps on the pill but it's more like my back muscles get really tired than focused pain.
thuperduperthpeshul
I got a copper IUD a few months back and since then have had hellish cramps for 2 weeks per month. I feel your pain...
badClementine
Paragard does indeed cause heavier, crampier menses. The mirena lightens it. Was there a reason you chose a non hormonal method?
6313326
I'm not the poster but made the same choice. For me: Mirena exacerbated my tendency to have persistent hemorrhagic ovarian cysts.
thuperduperthpeshul
I thought about it but I'm young and wanted something more long term plus when I took the pill it had several unpleasant side effects. 1/
thuperduperthpeshul
Everything does seem to be leveling off a bit, particularly this month. My gyn recommended giving it at least 6 months so I have high hopes!
badClementine
Your gyn is right! It can take 6 months for everything to regulate with IUDs. Especially if you're younger.
seridia
I've had both Mirena and Skyla and it made my cramps worse and my periods may have become lighter, but they are WAY more frequent and random
badClementine
Have you tried pops? (Progestin only pills) or were you looking for something you didn't have to take every day. The implant is another.
seridia
I was hoping to avoid taking something daily. I'm planning to have my IUD removed next month and just go back on the pill, alas.
SeanJohnBobbyWTF
Do girls just wear hoodies in bed regardless of the weather?
ImAnActionBirb
Yes
mfdavidson
Hell no. No clothes allowed in bed.
chozlogs
Yes
hebechild
I get the cold sweats when im on my period so hoodies are my friend and enemy
gameofthorns
Yes.
ImHereToTellYouThatsWrong
A lady taking part in the red wedding can sometimes just need to feel comfortable in something that can be boil washed.
whywasmyusernametakengrrrr
I mean I do too, and I'm a 6 5 male
seattlegemini
Yes
poopvillain
yes
Shimobe
Maybe. I was hoping that they would start wearing red shorts/pants as a consistent visual cue every month.
srslydude
I feel freezing cold when I'm on my period. I wore a hoodie a couple weeks ago outside, I was so cold. I live in Florida.
TangledUpInMyHead
Negative. Source: currently in bed, not wearing a thing. It's Florida, it's too hot to wear anything when it's not necessary!
Acera
Yes.
badgerballs
it's 80 degrees and there's a nice breeze coming in from my window, just put on my hoodie.
Lazzarwolf
Naw some just sleep naked.
theImigurer
Is it weird that I'm a guy and think this is comfortable? (I don't do it often though)
TicoGuy
I guess that is region specific, don't see a lot of hoodie wearing girls here during the day.
TheCanadianQuinn
Yes
Fwatair
My body runs at like 400 degrees so you're lucky to get me in even skivvies much less a fucking hoody
PromNightDumptserBaby
As a girl, can confirm
ClassicFumiko
As a girl yes. And I will steal every boy hoodie I come in contact with. Clean of course.
hjvaughan
As a guy, doesnt everyone?
6313326
In bed? No. But generally? Yes. I love stealing my husband's hoodies - they're too big and smell like him. Very comforting, esp if in pain.
crushingmissy
Yes. Source: I am girl. I wear hoodies in bed.
duckAdhesive
No I sleep naked. Always
vladimirpurrtin
Yep
MissyGarrett
Yes.....
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Fuck no, I need to be as nude as possible. I generate heat like the sun.
sgtcoffman
As a man I'm the same way. I am the furnace of the gods. Girlfriend loves it because shes always cold but when we cuddle I get heat stroke.
Snarkoleptic
You can be my sun : )
templetons
No
Snarkoleptic
Lezbedevious
Yup i can't sleep with clothes on
SlickerThanNick
Me too! My girlfriend turns down the heat when I sleep over because she'll get too hot next to me.
YanderePrincess
Same.
Verizer
But no matter how hot I get I need a single sheet to cover me. Hopefully i can find a really thin sheet...
YanderePrincess
A thin sheet just feels awkward to me.
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Yes! I need it to be cold, I need blankets, and lately I need the sleep sound on Spotify that sounds like my air conditioner on full blast.
OtterlyMagnificent
I just use my box-fan on full blast. And curl up in a little ball of blankets and pillows under my desk.
BreeBird
It's a comfort thing. Like how dudes sleep with their hands on their junk.
druidzrok
i do that and I'm a girl :/
BreeBird
I find my hands will sometimes end up on my chest in my sleep but never in my crotch.
ksherretz
dafuq? ive never done that.
Stolf
Same. Never heard of such a thing
BreeBird
I thought it was weird as hell, but at a party one night like half the dudes said they did it, the other half thought it weird as hell.
BreeBird
I've seen at least five different guys do this.
meltingeggs
The real question is what have you been doing to these guys' junk in their sleep?
BreeBird
Hahahahaha yes! That was wonderful. (Usually I just ask why their hand is on their junk, "surprise boner buddy?")
badgerballs
Yes
ICantFindTheRightUsername
Absolutely.
SeanJohnBobbyWTF
That's what I thought.
xelavia
Especially if it's the boyfriends hoodie
Imaybegotthis
I have such a high level of hoodie attrition.
badgerballs
Ooooh Yes
Ewanator
Awww
badgerballs
Even ex-boyfriends hoodies :)
Evaysaur
Doing it right now
TinyRiickkkk
I'm convinced that's why girls date us, for our hoodies.
FooQuuxman
Underwear Gnomes 2.0
padgie
I still have & wear my husband's hoodie from when we started dating over 10 years ago. He hasn't gotten to wear it since.
Node1112
But I thought the whole point of wearing a boyfriends hoodie is because it smells like him?
Billy2sweet
I stubbed my toe the other day and it still kinda hurts, I feel your pain ladies.
Lulabel73
Well put an unsatisfiable hunger and mood swings on top and you're half way there.
UnapologeticTeaEnjoyer
Feels more like stomach pain from the worst constipation ever, coupled with the constant loss of blood. Or bowel surgery if you've had it.
angelshea
No you don't.
TooCringyMaybe
Is joke tho
underageotters
+1 for comment and if I could give you another for your username I would!
dru9087
Yeah, i bumped my funny bone...was sore for a bit...totally relate.
ThePowerToKillAYakFrom200YardsAway
Yeah. Opened my blinds too quickly this morning and hurt my eyes. Feel your pain.
Freedmin
For some girls (like me) thats about how bad as it feels. Its just the fact that it makes a huge mess that FUCKING PISSES ME OFF
Billy2sweet
sooo... it doesnt effect your sandwich making abilities? :-o
Reneeness
I stubbed my toe while watering my spice garden and I only cried for 20 minutes
thisgoesto11
"Watering my spice garden" sounds like a great euphemism for... well, I don't know what. But something.
SaladNoLettuce
After labor, ask her if she's tired. When she says yes, tell her, "YOU'RE tired?! I had to stand this whole time!" Then run.
SomeoneOnceSaid
Triggered
WiggleBum
Shots fired.
hereforthensfwreddits
I've had gas trapped in my intestines to the point of not being able to breathe and nearly passing out. I too feel your pain.
BavarianGuy
But how good was that fart
hereforthensfwreddits
Pretty enjoyable.
UnapologeticTeaEnjoyer
That. That right there is what it feels like
hereforthensfwreddits
Alrighty then. Every Month you say? Ow.
HufflepuffAndPass
As a girl with PCOS, I sometimes have cramps for THREE WEEKS. Every month for 3 weeks. D:
hereforthensfwreddits
Jesus christ. Isn't there some type of birth control that's supposed to at the very least suppress that?
areyouponderingwhatimpondering
I cut myself on a paper once. Super painfull.
cerulee
Mmm tasty bait
TheyCallMeMrChicken
Enough to feel....not enough to understand
TheyCallMeMrChicken
Im not a girl, I just half-quoted Game of Thrones
DickDastardly404
I had a tooth pulled without anesthetic, but honestly, that only happened once
AJCanuck
Even though this comment might cost you a testicle, I applaud you sir! https://media.giphy.com/media/10Shl99Vghh5aU/giphy.gif
BavarianGuy
Kinda like when i dont get the super soft tissues with lotion when I have a mancold, then my nose gets all red and ouchie. Must be like that
Jabberwookiez
I read this and my right big toe started aching... not cool.
cryborg
Oh my poor boy. They will find you.
Billy2sweet
And make me sandwiches?
Billy2sweet
Me 3 yrs ago was hilarious.
IamJustPeachyThankYouVeryMuch
Jesus Christ dude
Billy2sweet
You dont know. Maybe they love making sandwiches.
WellThatIsBecauseYouDidNotTryHardEnough
Wait for the ladies to get in to labor, then tell them that a manly cold is almost as bad.
Greymalum
Kidney stones, cervicle fusions, you ladies do not have worse. But it does seem important for them to claim that trophey.
Bb4816
Though kidney stones are more common in men, women get them too.
Saffron89
....have you got a death wish, or are you just a straight-up masochist.
WellThatIsBecauseYouDidNotTryHardEnough
a little bit of both i guess
HraHaalari
"I remember this poop i had. Man it was huge!"
WellThatIsBecauseYouDidNotTryHardEnough
omg, if you have'nt had your dingdong ripped of yet, you will when you mention this.
HraHaalari
Now due to it's small size it turns out to be difficult one to catch. Read that in David Attenborough's voice.
SmogeyBear
This. This right here.
MasterPrime
Actually there's science to suggest that "manflu" is a thing. Our lack of estrogen makes being sick more intense.
Manorexia
I've passed 16 kidney stones in the last year. Does that count?
WhiteShad0w
Wait for a man to get a cold and then for a lady to tell him its almost as bad as going into labor
LoneTurnip
Try getting kicked in the nuts or passing a 7mm kidney stone.
Trynan
I had a kidney stone that got stuck in my ureter and it caused a pain comprable to child birth (as I was told by my mom who had done both)
BodyEater
i've had kidney stones >.>
badgerballs
Did you have them once a month for almost your entire life?
PoisonInJest
I don't understand... If I break my arm once a month for my life after a while the pain becomes more tolerable.
BodyEater
lol, fortunately no
terribleinternetpunsfirstborn
From what I've heard, from women who've both given birth and had kidney stones, kidney stones are worse
badgerballs
Damn, did not know. My bad.