Earlkay
562079
21608
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If your feet are killing you:
Here’s how to do it:
1. While sitting, step on the ball with a bare or socked foot and roll back and forth from heel to toe with firm pressure — but don’t try to flatten the ball completely.
2. If anywhere feels particularly painful or tender, work those knots out by rolling in small circles.
If you need more pressure: Do while standing instead of sitting
If you suffer from tension headaches:
This will relieve tension in your neck and head often caused by crappy posture — like when you crane your neck while texting or push your head forward when slumping at a desk.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Lie on your back with your legs bent.
3. Holding a tennis ball in each hand between your thumb and forefinger, rest your hands behind your head so the tennis balls are on either side of the base of your skull.
4. Alternate between shaking your head from side to side, then tucking and lifting your chin.
If PMS is making your lower back hurt:
This will help the tenderness and pain you get in your lower back before and during your period due to inflammation.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Lie on your back with your legs bent and feet firmly planted on the ground.
2. Place two tennis balls under your lower back around where your sacrum — the large, triangular bone at the base of the spine — meets your hip bone.
3. Raise and lower your hips, kneading the area with the tennis balls.
If you have a tight, painful jaw in the morning:
Clenching when you’re stressed can give you a headache and a sore jaw. Do this right when you wake up or when you’re feeling anxious.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Using the pads of your fingertips, press up under your cheekbones, starting at the apples of your cheeks.
2. Open and close your mouth as you press up into your cheekbones.
3. Do this all the way back, following an imaginary beard line.
4. When you reach your sideburns, press your thumb under your jawbone and pull your fingertips down the side of your face.
5. Repeat movement along your jaw, moving toward your chin.
6. Finally, grab chin and pull the skin down between your thumbs and fingertips.
If your knees get sore from sitting at a desk all day:
This will work out the bound connective tissue fibers called fascia — aka what you probably think of as knots — that form when your legs are bent for too long.
Here’s how to do it:
1. While sitting, unbend your leg and let it rest so the muscles in your quad are soft.
2. Press into where it hurts with a fingertip or a knuckle and massage in a star shape for 10 seconds.
3. Bend and straighten your knee twice.
4. Repeat 2–3 times for each place it hurts.
If your bum is sore from all that sitting:
Or if you just want to massage your butt because it feels good.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Sit on the ground with your legs bent, your hands resting on the ground behind you, and a tennis ball under your butt cheek.
2. Lift your leg off the ground and roll around on the ball, working into the places you feel most tension.
3. Repeat on your other side.
If your forearms are sore:
This move feels good pain or no pain, but if you work with your hands a lot, whether typing all day at a computer or doing manual labor, it’s a lifesaver.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Hold your arm out, palm up, and cup it just under the elbow with your opposite hand.
2. Flip your arm within you grip so your palm faces the ground.
3. Repeat all down your arm until you reach your wrist.
If your legs and knees hurt after walking, running, or scaling stairs:
If you’re on the move a lot, you probably experience tightness in your IT band, the tissue that runs from the side of your hip all of the way down past your knee. Instead of rolling directly on your side, which can be painful, come at it from an angle instead.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Lie on your side with your foam roller under your hip.
2. Using your hands to brace you, slowly roll down from your hip to your knee, rotating your body toward the ground as you go.
3. Roll back into the starting position.
If your neck and shoulders hurt:
Attempting to give yourself a neck or shoulder massage with your hands actually leads to more tension, even if it feels good at the time. Try this instead.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Stand with a tennis ball between the wall and your shoulder.
2. Raise your arm above your head and shift your head from side to side.
3. Experiment with the ball in different positions along your neck and shoulders.
If you ache from slouching in front of your computer:
You should feel this in your mid-back, where your muscles pull tight and get sore when you slouch.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Lie face up with feet shoulder-width apart and flat on the floor.
2. Center the foam roller on your mid-back, beneath your shoulder blades so it’s perpendicular to your body.
3. Rock your body toward and away from your feet over the foam roller.
If you just want a head massage that feels so. good.
This is great for headaches, but it also just feels good. A good head and scalp massage is pretty much the best part of going to the hairdresser, you know?
Here’s how to do it:
1. Draw circles with your fingertips at your temples, increasing the size and pressure of your circles as you move toward your scalp.
So go buy a tennis ball and enjoy!
SpenceOrSpencer
As the son of a physical therapist and friend of multiple weight lifters (and an average on myself), these are indeed legit. Be supple!
Watchfanacktic
Pro tip: for the tension head ache one, you can shove the tennis balls in a tube sock and tie it. Much easier on your hands.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
I'm looking down at my phone with poor posture as I read this :(
SoreScratchboard
He could make my headaches disappear anytime he'd like, ifyaknawwhattamean.
RetrieveThatGold
More like you could make his head ache, ifyaknkwwhatimean
isunktitanic
ill just go ahead and say it: if I'm having a sore jaw his dick in my mouth would fix it. there.
doctorwoohooo
When using a roller it is important to not do the back and forth really quick movement that you see lots of people doing. instead 1/?
doctorwoohooo
Roll slowly until you feel a place of tension or pain. Stay on that spot until the muscle releases and then move on. fast rolling is useless
volatiley
Masturbation seems like it would be in a list like this here. Which one of these is the aphorism?
Tuffsruffs
Now I need a tenisball...
Tucker021
Tennis ball sales are about to skyrocket
danielsdesk
Now you have two problems
NachoManTX
If someone is a pain in your ass, throw a tennis ball at their face.
cheesywonton
Hahahahaa would confirm this works all the time 80% of the time
Heyitscatherine
Somehow thought the sore jaw would involve stuffing tennis balls in your mouth....hmmmm....
Jbravo80085
I was mildly upset instructions didn't say, "while balancing on two tennis balls...."
Red5689
I have my own special version of "self massage" which involve an entirely different kind of ball. ..
cyndr
I know this was posted a while ago, but I had to favorite it!
siler7
DO NOT DO THESE AS QUICKLY AS IN THE GIFS, ESPECIALLY THE NECK
jeweyboy2
So for the 'other' massaging one's self, do you cut a hole in the tennis ball?
Earlkay
if that's all the space you need for it.
purplebottle
Zing!
MDeezy
hot damn am I glad I scrolled down today. I bare witness to this sick burn.
purplebottle
Zing!
odysika
That tension headache one might just have saved my life.
TheSaloonOwner
If ladies want to get any massages from me, I'm free. And free. And lonely.
Jipster
Didn't have a tennisball... Improvised with an orange. Bonus: juicy ass!!
SyntKei
If your feet are killing you, you should probably call the police.
MargaretThatcher
How are you going to do all of this if you have a dog?
Sheprador
My first thought too.
AmberStardustPhoenix
inb4 accidently ball in ass
rarac
All the tennis balls in my house a dog drool soaked.
skylarspeaking
As a LMT, I can confirm. I would see fewer clients if people actually took care of themselves. But who doesn't love getting a massage?
GinnyGinGin
LMTs unite! :D
BuffyMarsSavesTheWorld
My LMT showed me that exercise listed above to help my IT band syndrome. I could kiss her for that! Seriously, it's the best thing ever!
skylarspeaking
This is why I love my work. Helping people feel better is so amazing!!!
thatwilldopig
Honestly, my massages hurt like hell because my muscles are rock solid. I don't love getting them, but I love how I feel afterward.
skylarspeaking
Oh I feel ya. Not sure about your situation, but you might try going right after a workout or hot bath. Warm muscles are easier to palpate.
thatwilldopig
My LMT only has times available during work hours, so that's unfortunately not possible. Taking calcium and magnesium supl. helps.
WilsonFisk
And I'm sure they tell you to stretch right haha
skylarspeaking
Stretching does help, to a point. But massage helps break up adhesions (scar tissue/"knots") and stimulates the repair of soft tissue.
thatwilldopig
Well, yeah. I know I need to do that, but no amount of stretching will work trigger points out of glutes.
Earlkay
I reckon there's a fair few people on here that'll need number 7 because of some more recreational injuries than just typing.
Pieisgood110
#7 the way described is bad You don't want to rotate the bones underneath when applying pressure to the area it's bad form and will hurt you
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Pieisgood110
There's no lymph drainage since it's not centripetal, and even a slight bit of pressure applied wrong can be severely damaging.
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Pieisgood110
Just because you're moving the lymph doesn't mean it's good. Moving it in the wrong direction can cause blockages and buildups. Not good.
valarmorghullis
You forgot a step for the IT band stretch. Try not to cry, cry deeply.
thatwilldopig
I fucking hate that roll. Even when I get a massage, it's the worst part.
WilsonFisk
Try working your TFL and Medius instead
valarmorghullis
Your IT and your tensor fascia latae are the same thing. Source: multiple anatomy courses.
WilsonFisk
They are connected yes but your TFL is the muscular aspect as were the IT is tendon. If you want relief work tfl/glutes Source: im an NMT
Canadiandustbin
Massage therapists hate you
kittylick
Yes we do
fretsr4wimps
I think self-massage is inevitable whether because of time or budget constraints, so being informed about safe and effective ways to 1/2
fretsr4wimps
relieve pain at home is important. That said, no idea how safe/effective any of these are.
thatwilldopig
They're pretty standard. I've been taught all of these by either a trainer or licensed massage therapist.
mamabarry
No we don't. A more self aware person is more likely to benefit from massage, I think.
charlieismydog
Yeah, you wont be able to get the more difficult knots/trigger points etc with these techniques, just loosen them so a MT can finish.
WilsonFisk
Actually we practically been are clients to do these on a regular basis
WilsonFisk
Beg*
IceDusk
ELI5?
WilsonFisk
Huh?
IceDusk
Explain it like I'm 5.
GinnyGinGin
LMT here, and these types of things are what I tell my clients already!
noddie
Life Managing Tutor?
GinnyGinGin
Licensed Massage Therapist! :D
thatwilldopig
My LMT taught me a couple of these (the jaw and forearm) and oh my god, it's honestly changed my life. Fewer headaches from clenching.
GinnyGinGin
Glad to hear they're working for you! :D
DangerMeme
Lacrosse balls work a lot better than tennis balls.
TroyMcClure13
I totally agree with this, much better
sausageseeker
I have never seen a lacrosse ball
jrkib8
You beat me to it, tennis balls feel good but they don't actually work the tissue now promote healing like something harder, i.e. lax ball
wowTheUsernameWasAlreadyTaken
Or balls for the waching machine. :D
JTRGotYou
Yoga tune-up balls are where it's at! They're like a dense foam rubber and get softer the more you use em. I rebuy then have various hardnes
vannyishnugget
If you're hardcore you can also use a baseball
TiannaTV
I prefer hot coal. Really helps those muscles get loose.
ciaobella22
i prefer golf balls
CObullUshitGH
Lax balls and 2liter bottles filled with the hottest water.
nicebelt
Just be careful with how much pressure you apply or you can do more damage.
NicBurnsRed
Also, if a lacrosse ball isn't enough, Amazon has spiked ones for like $6-8.
alouette17
If you are really sore/tight, lax balls can sometimes be too intense; that's where the tennis ball comes into play
DangerMeme
Apply less pressure.
WilsonFisk
Still the overall stiffness of the ball may be to harsh, especially for the glute work
VikingInOz
Lacrosse ball is a progression from a tennis ball. Less pressure is not always sufficient.
jrkib8
As painful as it is, you often need harder objects w/ bad contusions/aches. For the worst pulls, cramps, charlie horses, our trainer 1/2
jrkib8
Graston Rods - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graston_Technique
jrkib8
Used Graston rods. They make you want to cry but work
shinyeverything
I love my lacrosse ball
jlobango
So does your mom
jval
Well I'll just swing on by the local white person store and grab one then!
WilsonFisk
You mean any major sporting goods store?
coquette007
TimeFoDat
I would pay good money to see him exercising some very important "self-massage" techniques not listed here ...
jval
If you don't mind it being an overweight, balding, middle-age man who doesn't look like OP at all, well then you've come to the right place.
Sheprador
That's just my type!
JohnKorova
and here is was feeling guilty for staring at the PMS gif for longer than I should have...
wooaly28
Eh, I was like, well why not just have sex then. :}
[deleted]
[deleted]
DeadCrab
I have to ask. Are you really a virgin?
[deleted]
[deleted]
IceDusk
I can give you a new name, if you ever get tired of that one. ;)
AHatFullOfSky
Smooooothh
mathsmartblonde
You're not the only one.
Captnrex
Like his biceps?
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
Orthopedic specialist that cross trained in physical therapy here... I'm free in the evenings and single
Sheprador
I also enjoy beer.
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
fantastic! what about BBQ?
Sheprador
I do enjoy BBQ. But I sort of lied before...I don't really enjoy beer.
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
That's okay, not everybody does... how's your day going so far?
DeadCrab
hey (;
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
hey;)
DeadCrab
How you doin?
iLikeBeerandSquirrels
not too bad, just got done giving my kitten a late night snack and now she's playing with a paper sack. How are you?
Doodert
Instructions unclear. Now sitting in the ER With tennis ball stuck in my ass. Thanks OP.
cardiokillsgains
He probably liked reading that because op is gay
ChickenPluckist
Drink Coke & Mentos and that tennis ball can become a weapon.
MrOange182
How did it feel up your ass
Doodert
Fuzzy.
DarthKittty
thanks just laughed and Coke shot out my nose..it burns
Doodert
You are quite welcome! Enjoy that burn and fizz...
thegr8rambino
critical mission failure
productivewinks
http://img.bleacherreport.net/img/images/photos/003/132/164/hi-res-f79f64ff6d413fc9c45bcdadead1362e_crop_north.jpg?w=630&h=420&q=75
pirlo
dont sit, it´ll go deeper
blueberrycupcakes
At least that's not the worst that could be stuck there
emefdzej
I tried that one, BF came in the room looked at me and said "I have a set of balls you can roll around on".
parksejun
stillmatic
I was just gonna say 10/10 would further injure themselves
darxide
Just another Tuesday.
ShakeDogResurrected
Me too. Thanks op. Favorites.
GetOffMyLawnYa
Are your nuts stuck in the slats of your chair?
Doodert
Nope - I live in the desert, they're currently stuck to my legs.
mynameisariver
For a slight, fearful moment, I thought this said dick instead of ass.
Doodert
That's some intense sounding right there.
mynameisariver
"What's your fetish?" "Putting a third ball in my scrotum."
ashleymars00
Personally I shoot them out of my vaginal while Serena Williams practices her backhand
Doodert
Thats.. pretty awesome.
koshatul
Pics or it didn't happen.
SeanGecko
Again????
theclevernamegoeshere
This is what I thought when I saw the butt massage
themintypigeon
"I fell on it. I swear!"
iCannotEven
SubzeroAK
FOOMP
Doodert
It actually made more of a Pop-thwunk sound.. followed by a Wilhelm Scream.
TheOneThatGotBanned
haha, I bet that happens at least once a day around the world.... :P
Idontknowmyusername
Hold it.... just to see for how long
marshmallow201517
I created an account just to upvote this comment, LMFAO
Doodert
Woo! Glad to be the one that made you do it!
jediprincess
i shared this with my facebook friends and then i just saw top comment. sorry, grandma
onepinksheep
Protip: When sharing on FB, click on the Post Options dropdown then "view album page". Share that link. Ex: /a/RDFVD?gallery
Caleborate
never share imgur posts. its like a rule for classy people
jediprincess
imgur's classy? which URL are you using?
Earlkay
you are welcome! they always believe the 'I fell on it' line by the way
thegr8rambino
AHHAHAHAHA
agentmcgee
No we don't. We just laugh in private where you can't see or hear us
ildolce
Haha!
Gink0
literally made me lol
dubbelu
OPs funny. Here's another +1 OP
TheRealFireFrenzy
A man speaking from experiance i see!
MyDadLooksLikeTomCruise
The adult version of "my dog ate my homework."
AynCantStopThinkingAboutYew
or "The break-up was mutual."
AynCantStopThinkingAboutYew
I always tell the truth... they know I'm pretty experimental by now.
Echo18
Million to one shot Doc!!
juxtacation
Million to one.
wherethehellaremyupvotes
No we don't. Source: I work in the ER.
DrTeej
Favorgotten.
AmbassadorofPorcupinetree
Ball is life, dammit
Favorgotten
Here I am
AmbassadorofPorcupinetree
Ball is life, dammit
dubbelu
Life is ball.
rashm
:D
Muchadoaboutnothing
yup, didn't even favorite
ImperialSquid
Never forgive, never favorget.
SexySanders
As an almost full term pregnant woman, THANK YOU!
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SexySanders
Thanks for the tip. :)
thatwilldopig
Honestly, TREAT YO SELF to a licensed massage session. Your poor body. Just make sure to get someone who works with preggo women.
SexySanders
Sadly, I can't afford it. :/
thatwilldopig
Is there a massage therapy school in your area? They do them for cheaper.
lilmookie
If your jaw hurts: MAWP. MAWP. MAAAAWP. MAWP.
mully19
Mine cracks a lot. I think I need a chiro?
TheBrett
This is clearly an archer joke. You all fail.
iFINALLYmadeAcomment
From this day forth, I fully intend to link #5 as frequently as possibly when talking about things that do not involve massages.
boblikestea
Not...not helping........Stop
FearNoSemicolon
If your jaw hurts: massage your beard.
Squeezit
@LANAAA
signuptoday
What does this have to do with Maximum Allowable Working Pressure?
lilmookie
Seems to me that would put you squarely in the... DANGER ZONE!
signuptoday
Haha, get it Lana? Danger Zone?
spitfiremkiv
Yeah. HAHAHA grownups. Keep moving your lips without... MAWP. MAWP...
apcolleen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tekhh7Iy-sM
lilmookie
WHAT? WHAT?!
SomethingCleverBand
nah, that's tinnitis.
Ryebread91
Tried it. Felt good. You know you did too.
GeorgeLucasRapingAStormTrooper
Phrasing.
Ryebread91
Not sure what I did. I understand the term though.
GermanCanuck
You sound like Archer. You're awfully close to the danger zone.
CziltangBrone
LAAAANNNNNAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Krakencrotch
Gotta remember that for the next rave.
InsKnie
TheOBanger
If your jaw hurts the morning after too much MDMA...
ilivethreeyearsinthefuture
I couldnt think of any other reason for that advise.
letsnotgetcereal
That's how you fix tinnitus as well.
SusanSoltau
jfreek
Actual advice or just Archer reference...?
letsnotgetcereal
Archer reference ^__^
posthumousmince
If you'd like actual advice, for occasional short bouts of tinnitus all you do is listen to the ringing, ignore all else and focus on it.
MvdVeen
How would that work?
posthumousmince
I dunno, when it happens to me I will even break off conversations mid-sentence to focus on it and listen to it as carefully as I can.
posthumousmince
It's gone in seconds. Not sure how well that would work for tinnitus medical causes rather than exhaustion or general maliase.