RnBee
250461
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Edit: I told my wife I made most viral; She’s like yeah your fucking right there... #Dead Love her!
Noob3rts
It's all fun and games until you see how rigged it would be if it was run by a casino.
SapphicCatgirl
ICH LIEBE DICH!!
TheCyclingEngineer
Anyone else read as Zed - the way Zed is pronounced
sleepingbambi
Forever laughing at people cause I can’t hear worth shit...hope I haven’t laughed at super inappropriate times...
thiswasnice
If I ever become rich I'm buying that book
AmazingCreativeFunnyUsername
#24 “Take off your fucking socks.” PREACH
FastFlow
You can infer a lot about a person through a meme dump, you're a monster
tiikafiredancer
I can tell this was posted by a fellow Ontarian because of the Wynne joke
ANicePairofSlacks
D1ckNale
I'm sorry eh, but it's a 2 6 not a 26er..
ChuckWeiss
#16 I'm not killing my self for my job, I'm killing myself for the lifestyle of my family that the payment for that job enables.
UltraLincoln
In the future of the game Anachronox the loonie is the only currency to survive and is widely used across the galaxy.
UltraLincoln
Plus you can get party members that include a sassy robot, a retired superhero, and an entire planet.
Ka7o
That's two-six.
ChawkoMilk
ye this. ops a fukken hoser eh
Tchyrimi
ICH LIEBE DICH!!!
Wice187
For the Canadian thing we mostly call em two sixes not twenty Sixers.
Bobeez
Really? Where? I’ve somehow never heard that.
Wice187
I live in the Fraser valley British Columbia.
Beefkins
Unspoken rules of sex 5.5: When using anal beads, don't yank them out all at once like you're starting a chainsaw.
aboxacaraflatafan
Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Bobeez
I’m Canadian, lived in 3 provinces, never heard cigarettes called “darts,” and “hoser” is not really said, it was just from a skit on SCTV.
mrputter
Canadian, lived in 2 provinces, my reaction was otherwise 110% the same as yours.
MexicanLobster
Fuck me #2 is way too accurate
Myowngrampa
If you insist
grid10ck
#1 interesting comment on society when people would take the risk of a bullet for a chance to win money
Mrprofilen
The world revolves around money, whether we like it or not. It makes it easier on everyone to have it. I'd probably not keep all the 1/1
Mrprofilen
Money for myself. I have parents to repay, whether they want the money or not. 2/2
OnismPiglet
It would land on red 99% of the time, but people would be OK with it because once in a blue moon us poorer people make it to the top.
softestpants
It's a "two-six", not a "twenty-sixer".
Myowngrampa
I go with either
thedeepestshadeofmushroomblue
and so began Canada's bitter civil war.
Bobeez
Never heard “two six.” I have heard twenty sixer.
provinkiedink
As an Ontarian, I lost it at the Wynne post. +1
TogepiOmelette
same here
zarren
For the rest of us? Lost me on that one.
Myowngrampa
Basically robbing us of money. Paying her colleagues way too high, etc.
TheIronBull
Wynne is the premier (kinda like a governer) of Ontario. She is pretty damn unpopular.
DIINKELBERG
derrymerbles
Came here to say it, you phrased it significantly better than I was going to
DIINKELBERG
Thank you for your kind words to my not so kind words
thesethingsarestupid
I chuckled a bit while reading, which is huge because I've been told I don't have a soul. Thank you.
blueplinx
Does that mean youre a ginger or did one steal it?
thesethingsarestupid
It was just according to everyone I've ever dated/had sex with.
AlkeneThiol
You have a soul. It might be a bit gooey but it's there
HalTheMisinterpretivePornStar
"Where are we eating tonight babe?" "Guess." "Chinese?" "You got it!" "Hmmmm...."
PirateFroglet
Guess where we're eating! "Not Chinese again???" Now what??
Minnakht
Well, maybe the second guess if the first one seems low.
BadamWarlock
At least you have the genre of food correct, just gotta pick a suitable restaurant. Good starting point.
MyHumanForm
And now us ladies know the trick. "Where are we eating?" "Guess!" "That super fancy Michelin restaurant in Paris?!" "Uhhhh..."
MyHumanForm
(bisexual needs to be stated here) I had an gf who was the worst at the restaurant thing, so I turned it into a game. 1/
vahnn
Why do we need to know you're bisexual? We don't even know your gender.
MyHumanForm
Because in a previous post in this very thread I made a comment about us girl knowing the trick. I have been questioned about bf vs gf thing
MyHumanForm
I would pay, but she would have to surprise me with a new place that she thought we would both love. Worked out 95% of the time.
MyHumanForm
She would get on her phone and within minutes have a great idea.
Pinfari13
I work in the center of the Gilbert Outback Steakhouse Pentagram and I can confirm some fuckey stuff goes on there
AlkeneThiol
Can you confirm these pentagrams?
TeeMee123
PortugueseGeese
I've seen a bunch of Twitter accounts that exist only for someone to reply with something "totally hilarious" and get a bunch of free likes
CardboardPizzas
But one has emojis and the other doesn't...
themayoroffuckingaustria
Emojis look shopped in the one. Font size is different.
saucelord
i don’t think you can have emojis in a twitter handle anyways
Oatmealer
I yell BEASTMODE!! And rip the anal beads out like I’m trying to start a stubborn lawnmower. Then I announce the powerball numbers and fart.
MargoMcKnew
i haven't read the rest of the dump yet somebody tell me if this makes sense
JustAReallyConfusedDuck
Why
idiotn00b
Hell yeah, hope someday you find someone to have sex with, too.
MyHumanForm
And that's how you got promoted to news anchor from lottery announcer?
strugglesnuggles
Wife me now
Oatmealer
IW42
RIPCORD! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BCdj6WBZhA
punchlineguy
And you've had sex one time
lHaveAConfession
BEYBLADE! LET 'EM RIP!
JakobThor
Theres a greentext for the anal beads lawnmower one
SirRazor1
Remainder
That line was originally from Choke by Chuck Palahniuk (author of Fight Club)
SirHolmesalot
For all those who have not used anal beads before, pull them out one by one and not all at once.
IJustWantToBeUser
But things are more lively the faster they come out.
YuliMae
It's like siphoning gas. But worse.
SirRazor1
Arguably better than siphoning ass.
YuliMae
Agreed.
saltystick
Try the beyblade technique instead.
Jusmar
LET IT RIP
crazy4butts
And then just R.I.P
Gayforbae
.... Your sphincter out
dopey
https://imgur.com/fADA8M8
toowicked
OMG thank you.
SaikyoStyle
But why?
SirHolmesalot
dragonalex
I'm canadian, can confirm all of those are true. I've never heard the cigarette one before but if the others are right its gotta be, eh?
cp2chewy
I learned all my canadian from strange brew. Take off eh?
TheIronBull
As someone from Toronto, I have never heard 90 percent of those.
IWantAFunnyUserNameToo
I've never heard it called a twenty-sixer, I've always just said "Two-six"
gunsnbibles
Documented practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo00xcCm0LU
Sliibee
The ones I haven't heard here are the bush (the woods here) darts, and chirp. All the rest are used locally.
lilplaguerat
The bush is mostly hunter lingo i have found.
SeussOnTheLoose
Its mainly said by younger canadians, "i was out hackin a dart"
ConMan93
As a Younger Canadian can confirm my friends go out for a dart. Its also used by The Glorious Sons in some of their songs
imactuallyapuppet
can confirm dart is legit.
CommunCreator
RIP Stuart McClean
therealgrennhald
As a beginners guide most of these are fairly well known bud, but it lacks more advanced terms like 'tilly', 'just ducky', and 'right fast'.
Kukusk
I thought "out for a rip" had to do the old devil's lettuce.
softestpants
Also, cutting a lap?
Art3mis82
Ottawa here, all accurate. Also surprised to see Wynne on here
circlebreaker
Same. Her unpopularity grows day-by-day.
missnurse88
"Smokin' darts and breakin' hearts"
mrbacono4
Can confirm, i hack darts regularly
DonicFronic
Spark a dart?
circlebreaker
Fuckin' right, bud.
addysaccount
What about breakn hearts? Or whats abouts rippins farts?
mrbacono4
Depends on the day, and what I had to eat
DonicFronic
Shinny is pond hockey tho. Where you don't wear pads and your older brother slashes ya across the shin cuz ya just dangled his socks off.
CaptCanada
dirtier the dangles hardertheslash
NaughtButOne
I never had reason to question my use of "hydro" to mean electricity until this post.
zeniarose
I've said 'hydro' in post about bills only to have Americans think I was talking about a water bill. ... I don't have to pay for water here.
MrKristy
It's just short for hydroelectricity
themightypokey
It's only used in the east and parts of BC. In the prairies it's just power
MrKristy
I'm a Winnipegger and we often say Hydro...
NaughtButOne
I know; but not all electricity is hydroelectric.
circlebreaker
QUE produces shitloads of hydroelectricity. So much so that they sell overage to NY.
Z1MM3R
and it's two-six. not twenty-sixer
RedIronCrown
Twenty sixer is common in my part of Canada.
WorldEnemy
I hear both, also "Twixer"
Z1MM3R
Can't say I've heard twixer.
MrKristy
Winnipegger here, never heard darts... Might be a regional thing somewhere?
Myowngrampa
Definitely is in Southern Ontario
Ineverreadtheusername
It is for sure in East Ontario, I've heard of hackin' darts and breakin' hearts
themightypokey
It's mainly from saskabush
therealgrennhald
You'll hear dart here in Alberta too bud. I think it's probably just you.
VaticanCameozz
TIL most of the words I thought everyone said are only said by us Canadians.
twozerooz
Except hoser. Never heard anyone said that ever
ErisAlicor
Some are spoken by Americans
mph5mph
I recognize pop.
silakkasimo
I'd like to toboggan your timbit
TNewHam
Z is pronounced Zed everywhere but the USA I'm pretty sure.
Kodaxmax
Australia uses most of em too, its really only weird to yanks and pommies i would guess.
CactusFantastic0
I’m from Cali and a double double is some far more delicious than coffee.
FakePlasticTreehugger
As a Canadian, ikr??
TheWorldIsATollFreeToilet
The bush, clicks, and pop are definitely also used outside Canada.
DontTellYourMother
Is there such thing as an inedible donut hole...?
SanshinDojo
Yes, the kind my mother used to make. Inedible af.
DontTellYourMother
VagisilToothpaste
Eh, a lot of border states use some of them too. I know we do here in MI
TyrionLannisterr
"Out for a rip"
TyrionLannisterr
Truly if you're Canadian, thats what it means
abcEasyAs123
Clicks outside the military is mostly tacticool.
Govain
As a Minnesotan, can confirm that some of those are used here as well.
themightypokey
I have never used the term "out for a rip" it's from some dumb YouTube video
zeniarose
Yeah, I've only ever heard my uncle say that one once he got himself a motorcycle... and I thought it sounded really stupid.
BreadyStinellis
#4
NaughtButOne
A few are commonwealth. Some are pretty regional. Others (timbit) are just specific to Canadian brands. Others are not specific to Canada.
s1yb00ts
Michigan has Tim Hortans. It's a gift from our northern brothers
DeeLightfulme
Hortons*
circlebreaker
Did... do you just say fucking Hortans? Is there a knock-off Timmies in MI?
s1yb00ts
Just and auto correct. Please forgive me
DeeLightfulme
How to piss of a Canadian 101, haha ????
circlebreaker
OK, bud, no sweat hahah
Ryanator50
yeah, I moved to the states last summer. aparently no one says pencil crayons, Kraft Dinner, Pop, street Meat, or touque here.
Flobmmando
Savages. Every one.
PizzaEveryWeekend
Didn't they forget about sled though? Meaning snowmobile
jkwasy
Never heard someone call a snowmobile a sled before
automaticallymoderated
Snow machine?
PizzaEveryWeekend
Exactly. Same thing
s1yb00ts
For the record, I live in Michigan and we say most of these too.
BreadyStinellis
Wisconsin says plenty also. Especially tool.
jkwasy
Border States often adopt our words/accents. We are certainly more American the closer we are to the border.
ReallyWittyName
My best friend is from Canada, I've only ever heard her say about 5 of these, she probably only uses them on her fellow Canadians.
MoaConstrictor
I mean, Canada is Really Big, so we have localized terms and dialects, much like the United States does (probably)
ReallyWittyName
Totally makes sense.
rovertbiggs
About half of those words are only used in eastern Canada. If she’s from the west, that would explain why.
Myowngrampa
That is not what a puck bunny is...puck bunny is a girl that likes to sleep with hockey players cuz they play hockey
circlebreaker
Yeah exactly. They can't play hockey, but love "stick handling" all the same, amirite?
MrBeartank
Wouldn't that be being more interested in players than the game?
Myowngrampa
True
Dark0001
Yes, but the real definition is more specific
twozerooz
So they're more "interested" in the players? *wink wink nudge nudge*
Myowngrampa
But its much more, I'm interested in Aaron Rodgers playing for the packers but don't want to fuck him. You're right an interest but a
Myowngrampa
Specific I need to fuck them vibe.and by them I mean hockey players
twozerooz
Somethings wrong with you then. What grown man doesnt want to fuck Aaron Rodgers?
DrKriegersClone
I'm almost certain "Texas mickey" isn't originally a Canadianism.
Theverant
London fog was created in BC, so don't be too sure :p
sevrono
But a Texas Mickey is huge
Flobmmando
Aye.
sevrono
I've used the term Street meat in Mississauga, and been met with confusion, but it's a pretty obvious term in Kingston
slowmotioncoco
*Mystery meat
Dark0001
I’ve used it in St John’s, Halifax, Moncton, Toronto and Vancouver without issue. I think you met some Americans in Mississauga ????
sevrono
It was a coworker, Asian descent, but born here I think
BreadyStinellis
We absolutely say street meat in the US. What else would you call meat sold on the street?
WittyCleverUsername
I’ve used the term and been understood in Vancouver, Toronto (and GTA), London (Canada).. met with confusion anywhere in Michigan and NY
ParryLost
This just confirms that Mississauga isn't real
meggy2510
Then where the hell did I grow up in? Has my life all been a lie!?! https://imgur.com/OGjETVH
sevrono
Admittedly I was speaking to an immigrant so that could be part of it
mrputter
Grew up in Vancouver, lived in Calgary last 14 years, first time I remember hearing the term. If you said i to me, my reaction'd be: "???".
CommunCreator
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a beer.
Flobmmando
CPolofVancouver
...in a tree
CommunCreator
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks and a beer.
CPolofVancouver
...in a tree
CommunCreator
…on my knee.
softestpants
Question: Recently Americans told my fam during a trip: we knew you were Canadian because of your glasses. Asking for friend what means?
BreadyStinellis
No idea. What do your glasses look like?
thedeepestshadeofmushroomblue
Do you have glass lenses? Those are banned in some states.
VaticanCameozz
I have no idea and Most of my friends and family including me Have worn glasses our entire life
GunArm
Normally I can recognize canadains by how they say Ls. The "oot" thing is exaggerated stereotype, more "ewt" vs "owt". But the Ls are diff
zeniarose
How are the Ls different?
GunArm
American: front of the tongue flat on the top of the mouth & pulling down. Canadian: tip of the tongue on top of mouth rolling forward.
zeniarose
I do both of things... depending on the word. I'm Canadian. I think I do your "American" example more though.
GunArm
It's a subtle thing and I'm not sure if it's specific to a region of canada
Myowngrampa
Not sure but when I was in Bali they said they knew I was Canadian not American because I talk faster? news to me
BreadyStinellis
Northern us states speak fast too. Apparently Wisconsin is the fastest talking state. I have to talk to southerners on the phone for work
BreadyStinellis
And there are some days I just want to scream. Fucking finish your sentence already!
thedeepestshadeofmushroomblue
Maybe that explains why I'm always mistaken for a Wisconsiner (Wisconsonite?) when I'm in the US.
BreadyStinellis
Wisconsinite. It's probably the accent more than anything.
Flobmmando
Yeah twenty-sixer is two-six here in the prairies.
noparkingzone
slowmotioncoco
BC we call it a two-six, as well.
circlebreaker
ON here, and I've heard both. Depends on who you get shittered with.
Toucher
Also in ON.
Flobmmando
Nice.
lilplaguerat
Another purely prairies thing is Bunnyhug. :)
Flobmmando
Um. Ive lived in the prairies 30 yrs. Whats a bunnyhug?
lilplaguerat
Same ish here and its been afaik a purely Saskatchewan term for those hoodies with the pouches and no zipper. *shrugs*
circlebreaker
Details pls. That's new to me.
lilplaguerat
Mostly a Sask thing Afaik, and might not be used by the younger people now a days, but those hoodies with no zipper and a pouch.
circlebreaker
Weird, my Mom spent time in AUS as a kid, and called those Kangaroo Sweaters when I was little... Never thought of rabbits, though.