No quote! ________________________________ ^ This was up for 14 years; the only thing I wrote in "ABOUT"... Now, here's some (f)actual stuff about me: I'm Ends, 38-year-old, ace-ish (definitely Demi) Para-guy with AuDHD, PTSD, Bipolar II, and other disorders. I was born and live in Augsburg, Bayern, Deutschland (Germany). I <3 my city and am lucky to have been born in these parts. I fumble-y play the guitar and sing kinda okay on some days, and I know & can do all sorts of things! I have experienced many forms of abuse, lived fast and recklessly, treated my body as if nothing could really hurt me… I love (and hate having to depend on) drugs, and know how it is and what it means to be an addict, and I know what rock bottom feels like. I detoxed from Alcohol more times than I can count (dozens & dozens & more), and I know 3 or 6 other kinds of withdrawal. I consider myself a cured alcoholic now, was dry for 4½ years, starting in the pandemic lockdown times… (Yay!) … but am currently doing some controlled drinking w/ simple rules: 1) No drinking away a hangover… don't even start a day in a way the night before ended. 2) No wine, no Schnaps (liquor). Stick to beer; best even: stick to a beer/Sprite mix. So far that's going fine. I cut it off once I had enough. I pause once I build up a tolerance. However, I'm still physically dependent on 4 different prescription drugs. I had quit smoking for most of '24, after 21 years, but picked it up again when I went through a suicidal phase after New Year's Day. F Nicotine— worthless shit-drug. After 2½ decades of enduring fybromyalgic (or w/e) muscle pains, finally I found medication that alleviates at least most of it, and I'm working on my C-PTSD, desensitizing the stuck images & feelings (the events I can remember, there's a lot of stuff missing). So rn it's tidying up my life, keeping up with things that need doing & trying to unwind on the few really good days that I have (not more than a handful per month). Mostly, things still suck. But I'm still here, and I'm trying. My few friends & my family love me. I help people. That's what I do best. I love NOFX, Doug Stanhope, and of course, as we all should, Lain. https://fauux.neocities.org/lovelain DON'T CLICK ON THE NAUSEATING ANIMATED ANSI ART PICTURE! (But IF you do anyway, there's a whole gallery of these masterpieces!) Oh, you're still reading this? Then, have a splendid day or night, wherever you are. Live long and prosper.
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