TorontoJones

9734 pts ยท January 17, 2015


Indiana Jones' more polite cousin.

Okay, but how old are you? It's much harder to guess upwards, because you just don't have the context yet.

8 years ago | Likes 121 Dislikes 1

You can only do it if you're reading aloud.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

Maybe, but it's still a green cup.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's complicated.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*meanwhile, in the distance* CLOP CLOP fwap fwap CLOP CLOP fwap fwap CLOP CLOP fwap fwap

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My wife slugged me twice in the chest for waking her up during a nightmare. Well, not 'for', but 'consequent to'.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"What up, my fellow men! Help any non-Asian women cheat their way through college yet today? I just did, and boy, are my arms tired!"

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"But my family name is Shortcake."

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Okay, but what happened AFTER the truck driver changed their pants?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There was one day that was the last day your parents ever picked you up.

8 years ago | Likes 559 Dislikes 5

Stop helping, you monster

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ray Wise was in Reaper; Samwise was in Frodo.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Shit, don't sweat it. I'm mildly blue-green colorblind, so I can name it but not see it properly.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's called SEA FOAM, you cultureless boob

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hah! My wife's costume is a purple Yipyip.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*her

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You silly bastard.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She sounds awful.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Your mother kisses her own butthole?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 20

"Of course we're still friends! I'd say it's because he has far better judgment, but if he's still willing to be friends, I'm not so sure."

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They are not. Nobody puts their hand over their heart for that.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You took the steps necessary to keep yourself safe. It's hard to need that help, to ask for it, but it's never shameful.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

In Vietnam, my father's helmet took a shot through it. He was not wearing it at the time, which is how I'm here to tell you about it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but mechanical advantage either means better range or splatter, depending on which appeals most.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Catshitapult.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

There were occasionally moments in this game where the 'welp, guess I gotta kill someone' didn't really click. This was not one of them.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*pans across picture* "Aw, remember all these characte- oh shit the fuckin' godling eyes"

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The first time peeing after my similar 'scopy, there was an audible sputter, like my penis was indignant about its treatment.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chairpool.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0