Tom40

184923 pts · November 19, 2013


I'm a middle aged, middle class white guy in the suburbs. What else do you want to know?

Bleached Anus sounds like a Butthole Surfers tribute band.

1 day ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Do we need shiny Saturday?

1 day ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

So he wants a FIFA War Prize too? A matching set?

4 days ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 0

So remember: when it comes to reading—words, sentences, the whole thing—there’s nobody better. Nobody even close. Thank you.

5 days ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

The fake news, they don’t want to report it. They never say, “Wow, his reading is unbelievable.” They don’t say it. But people know. The people know. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

We’re bringing reading back, by the way. We’re making reading great again. Because for a while, reading—it wasn’t so good. But now? It’s strong. Very strong. Maybe the strongest it’s ever been. And it’s because of me. A lot of people are saying that. A lot.

5 days ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Absolutely amazed. I read books, I read documents, I read—frankly—things nobody else can even understand. Complicated stuff. The most complicated. And I make it simple. That’s what I do.

And they said it couldn’t be done. They said, “You won’t read that whole page.” I read two pages. Sometimes three! Back-to-back. No breaks. Incredible stamina. And I remember it, too. Perfect memory. People don’t talk about that enough.

5 days ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Folks, let me tell you—nobody reads better than me. Nobody. People come up to me, big people, strong people, tears in their eyes, they say, “Sir, how do you read so incredibly well?” And I tell them, it’s a gift. It’s just a natural talent. Some people, they struggle—very sad—but me? I read tremendous. The best reading, really.

I see words, and I know them. Instantly. Faster than anybody’s ever seen. Doctors—top doctors—have said, “We’ve never seen anything like it.” They’re amazed.

5 days ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I’m surprised that the Daily Show didn’t do this.

5 days ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And back when you could go down to the gate to meet people as they came off the plane.

5 days ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I would say that he viewed 1984 as an instruction manual, but I seriously doubt he has even read the Cliffs notes.

5 days ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 0

I’m old enough to remember when flying was actually kind of fun.

5 days ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Why not both? I mean, all three.

5 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And it’s not even Tuesday

6 days ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

They just forgot the punctuation. “No! More wars!”

1 week ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

I was working from home, then the whole project was Doge’d

1 week ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Not just alpha, a pre-release alpha that barely compiled and has a long list of suppressed warnings.

1 week ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Jacksonville?

1 week ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

1 week ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have 'network connectivity problems'

1 week ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 1

Bedpans are a thing

1 week ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Both gambling and jewelry, if you don’t have the EXTRA cash to spend, you can’t afford it.

1 week ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 1

Looking for the squirrel

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don’t doubt you, I just don’t know how you can tell. Was it something in the lettering?

1 week ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

1 week ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A war with Cuba to distract from the war with Iran.

Given our government’s history with the war on drugs, war on poverty, war in Afghanistan, etc., can they start a war on high paying jobs?

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Same as it ever was.

1 week ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Can’t have learning disabilities if you never learn, I guess

1 week ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 0

The Christians/homophobes, or the hornets?

1 week ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

They may not be smart, but they were determined

1 week ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

tl;dr

1 week ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0