NotPortlandca

19682 pts ยท March 2, 2017


I'm here to fuck bitches and eat lollipops, and I'm all out of bitches.

I have bad news for you...

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Are you hitting on me?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why does the boy have to set up the date? Chicks can buy knives and heroin.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If her name is Janet, she fucks.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If that happens, just say yes. Afterwards you can back out in a private talk.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I get it. I just want a few hours where no one expects anything out of me.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For real tho, is that Justin Bieber? The kid?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then why don't you marry him!?

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Just like eating ass

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Petting a dog counts as partying" - Andrew WK

6 years ago | Likes 168 Dislikes 1

Oh Hal

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Boomer AF

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Edge is back kids. I called it a few years ago when he started doing DDPYOGA

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Minimum Wage is going up to $15 so it's worth it

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

What's not to love? They say a swear!

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I haven't taken my wireless earbuds out in five years

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Let's be real, some of those are hard.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you haven't read the article and realized it's clickbait bullshit post about boycotting Nestle

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My wife's last name was Moore and mine is Bacon so she hyphenated.

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

I hope he hit that little bitch with a rock bottom for the backtalk

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

That's why I only shit at work.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Listen man, I don't even want to see the word Bret Hart and Talent in adjoining sentences, alright?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

True. And the series was so promising.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I live in rural Illinois and have gigabit internet.

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Can we all admit the Marty was the real talent?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

We shouldn't defend him to PETA. That implies he did something offensive. Let's just ignore them.

6 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 4

And the cost to renew your car registration will go up. We can't have nice things

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's awesome. Why is it funny? Is there a joke I'm missing?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This guy is the Big Bang Theory of Twitter.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0