MortimerJacobs

139 pts · September 24, 2013


I'm not funny.

Same. I’m 34 and am a junior into my undergrad. Just got a 4.0 in both my classes this semester for the first time in my life. We got this.

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Seems like for me most of that right there hurts.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Long Con.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

- A Taxidermist's guide to love

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They have internet for that.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hamill is such a joker.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

"Bruh, grab me a coke." - Crazy

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But you could've gotten two Hot 'N Ready's....

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If guinea pig stays large for more than four hours, consult a veterinarian.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Sure... "The floating bird nest." We've all been there, vagina or otherwise.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Farts are a cynicist's wet dream.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I once saw a girl standing pee in a parking garage... There's a piece of me that will never come back.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Laughed until I realized it was "Cleese", not "Kreese". ?1

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OP, I'm not entirely convinced that you don't live in a dentist's waiting room.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dwayne Wayne

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The name's Richard Shadow, but my friends call me sir.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The paint job on "vanny devito" tho... impecable.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Banana for scale.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Guys that eat out dig chicks in clothing more accessible than jumpsuits.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

10/10 would eat mac n cheese out of it

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Drake the type of nigga that put his seatbelt on before he start the car.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Still lost.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't care. That's great.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

That banana looks like a real dick.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Legit, it constantly walks like a working girl's daddy. Great call.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Zumba.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That third guy taking the throat shot though.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Guy behind is furious.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0