LesserGodOfDadJokes

7416 pts · June 8, 2015


That...is a 1948 Rolls Royce Silver Wraith.

The size of that village seems to be causing you great distress.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

It helps build mussels.

6 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 1

Well you know what they say: “When the chips are down, the cows have been eating pillows.”

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Thought it was a Harry Potter post...but I got Rickman-rolled.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Not your every day monster truck.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

“He couldn’t pour water from a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.”

6 years ago | Likes 105 Dislikes 0

Shouldn’t there be two blue vans? “Ground control, two Major Tom...”

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Neighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

7 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

I agree with ewe.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I am Groot.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 196 Dislikes 5

My bigger concern was losing my extreme close vision -leaning into the mirror wouldn’t help. Plus my eyes would continue to get weaker.(2/2

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I’ve thought of LASIK. They said I’d end up with permanent mono vision (one eye focused close, one far). (1/2)

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

PRK?

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

It’s a balloon?!?! I thought it was supposed to be a barn? Astigmatism, how I loathe thee.

8 years ago | Likes 465 Dislikes 7

Saw him live. Awesome show.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That’s no cat...it’s a Space Station.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Tanks a lot.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#41: ...unless you’re the teacher.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The penis: mightier than the sword.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know this breed - it’s a Labradoor.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They give medals for that?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 6

We are Devo!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It was hyperbole and extreme satire at the time. Now it's just a normal Monday.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

The schooner you admit you have a problem, the schooner you can get better.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Two, I would say.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your overconfidence is your weakness.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

Had that experience myself. Found out about it 5 years later when I was applying for a mortgage. $100 due a lab for outsourced blood work.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0