I'm here. There is nothing that I can write that can bridge the gap between us. Nothing that can make you feel as I feel or think as I think, nothing that can afford me your thoughts and feelings the way you experience them. We are distant across the world and distant regardless of this; the limitations I struggle with are just as real if you were in the room with me as I write this. We could sit across a table with a meal or around a fire with hot drinks. I still can't reach out and truely touch you. Could I share with you my whole life? Every moment, every half-lost memory, every smell and sight and sound? It is lost to me now too. So many days unremembered. Could you share with me yours? What is my purpose then? Trapped inside a body that will die, a mind that cannot even capture the tiny, simple life of one being, just one self. It makes me wish for God to take me, from this place and into them, so I could be more than this. I want to reach out and touch you. I want to comfort you against your fears and ease you from your concerns. I want to offer you care as though you were the most beloved thing in the universe; to care for you better than you know how to care for yourself. I want to reach out and touch you. I want to sit with you for days and weeks and learn everything about you. I want to know what makes your soul yours, how you grew up, who you have loved and how love has felt inside you. What makes you happy, what you strive for and what caring means to you. I want to lie to you; to say that I will remember everything you tell me, that I will keep it in a limitless mind that will carry your story and essence forwards into eternity. Beyond a tiny life spent on a rocky green blue blip of something in an endless nothing. Beyond days of work and days of leisure, beyond our sunshine and our sweat, to a place where it matters. Where fond memories are eternal instead of temporary, where determination and dedication earn more than a lifetime's work and where no good deed goes unrewarded. I want to be the source of your relaxation after a long, hard day of work. I want you to know your thoughts and feelings have value, for you to be truely seen and heard and cherished. I want to be this thing to you. If I could strive against any force in the universe for this I would do so until I it took my life from me. I want to reach out and touch you. I want to hear about the time you kissed someone and loved them at the same time. I want to be able to feel what both of these things felt like for you and speak to me, what they sing inside my soul. I want to be witness to your heartfelt love and heartbreak both and drown my consciousness on a drifting sea of reality, harsh truths and tender goodbyes. I can't ever have this thing. I can't reach out and touch you.