Alright you nosy bastards, you are checking my profile so I suppose you want to know something about me. I am a late 30s female, married 8 years to Mr. Blush who, by the way, thinks Imgur is stupid and yet occasionally says he could make front page if he wanted to (HA!). I am a professional (gotta make that money!) and work in the biopharmaceutical industry. Have a toddler, so less time for memes these days.
Depression salmon is very apt. If you want to be disturbed, google “zombie salmon”. Basically once they mate they literally rot but stay alive a loooong time past when they should.
Aww sos sweet!
lol worst autocorrect ever. PINCH not punch hahah.
My husband would give me his sandwich with pleasure. He secretly loves when I steal his food, idk why but he lights up and gets all sweet about. Married 13 years. Best choice I ever made ♥️.
This is called “cute aggression” and it’s the same thing that makes people punch babies’ cheeks and want to “eat them up”. Your brain can’t handle the love and overcompensates with aggression.
People be finding creative ways to reinvent the concept of “beginner’s luck” lol
See VICTORY!! : /gallery/JVfKQ6B
Mom pro tip - redirect mindless hole digging (dangerous) to building a sand fort when the tide is rising and seeing how long you can hold back the sea. My favorite beach game
@my fellow ladies…how hot and/or rich does he have to be before you let #13 (aka cheetos tattoo) finger you?
I get so upset seeing these beautiful emotional creatures in slavery like this. It’s not right.
Aww sweetheart, I’m so sorry. As a mama myself, I know she would have given anything to stay with you. She would be so proud of you, and loves you very much.
#15 thank you good sir. If I have to hear “Aaron Burr, Sir” from Hamilton one more time when I turn on my car, I’m gonna flip a table.
Ugh not this incel bullshit again. You should never “gently caress a girl’s shoulder” at work unless you have a preexisting romantic relationship. In this case she’s already agreed to a date so his move wasn’t out of the blue.
Goddamn I love ferns.
I can’t believe all those fuckers voted for Trump and will vote for DeSantis
Imagine it’s the dark of night and you’re in bed shaking with fear, knowing the attack will come at dawn. You can’t see the army, other than the hazy glow from the many campfires outside the walls. You hear this low haunting thrumming all night, and you know death is coming.
I mean to be fair, circumcision is definitely genital mutilation. We didn’t circumcise our son. When you actually look into it, it’s totally insane.
My son is 4 and looooves my mom. She’s a big part of his life. He’ll be devastated when she dies one day. One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing you can’t protect them from all pain. Even love contains pain.
Just drank an energy drink, so “Monster” it is!
When my dad was in college he and a dozen buddies moved their favorite professor’s VW beetle to his front porch
A philosopher, an artist, and a scientist’s opinion.
Gomez Adams is a manic pixie dream boy
I was an administrative assistant, got tight with the leadership team, then snagged an entry level project manager job. Rest is history.
Missed an opportunity to call this a scrambled eggssasination.