DeadMonkeyFace

435 pts ยท March 26, 2012


Waitressing, gave old couple a can of pop, mixed the words "glass" and "ice" somehow, asked enthusiastically "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ASS??"

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Our 3 labs have their own couch. They now turn their noses up at it and claimed our new couch. Damn dogs livin' the life. Get a job!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Buddy then lived 10+ yrs, a spoiled rotten goof ball with a head as big as a basketball.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My uncle found his pit bull puppy in a box on the side of the road. Middle of a nasty MN winter, pup was literally stuck, frozen to the box.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Keep yo meat ice cold, kids!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I laughed way too hard, that was gold

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lol it's a fucking bird on the screen

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ah yes, very true...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

+1 for your username I appreciate that shit. Also, where's my drink!?!? My diet Dr. Kelp!!

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Great now I'm thinking about burgers. Quite suspiciously in fact....

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Your username made my life. I got 2 free spa tickets, bring the spaghetti.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I member!

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Same

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The frenchiest fry!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"Parents sell you to Paris Hilton" -Butters

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just leave a bottle of A-1 in the car cup holder and take drinks when no one is looking, like my mother does.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

My high school friends used to say "fuck ya later!" And do the classic finger bang gun move. So classy.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

MRW I walk into a spider web.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Make love to my *ice cream*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You look amazing! I remember what a relief it was to find a solution instead of just living with acne. Props!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I live in Detroit Lakes! Bf dragged me along coyote hunting last weekend, -13 F and my f'n eyelashes were freezing together.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I once dreamt I birthed a baby-sized albino rat with a full head of red hair. Dream me was only upset by the fact that it was a ginger...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Username checks out

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 2

Male sperm contains the XY chromosome whereas female sperm contains XX. It is what determines gender.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Female orgasms release a hormone that gives MALE SPERM the advantage while en route to the egg. So if u want BOY, give ORGASM!

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 7

sweet jesus, richard hammond is sexy.

14 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*CORRECTION* art majors.

14 years ago | Likes 236 Dislikes 30

doesn't matter, had death...?

14 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0