DagFizz

517 pts ยท March 13, 2014


And that's just the garage.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've had acid trips that make more sense than this guy.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They're keeping it aimed at Marjorie Taylor Greene waiting until she takes off her tinfoil hat so they can get a clear shot.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Interestingly enough, the game usually ends when the bankrupt people flip the board in anger.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

At some point, Discovery Channel will ditch Shark Week and start Fox Week.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If the Jews really had a secret space laser, Marjorie Taylor Greene would be a smoking hole in the ground by now.

5 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Was his name Tutankhamun by any chance?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Doctor (pointing at brain tumor on x-ray): You see this mass? This is a communism.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

She's got those crazy MAGA Karen eyes.

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Me trying to dunk.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pretty much the way my dog snores.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is why you should always take a laser pointer with you when you're hiking.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There's a double-edged sword with first prostate checks. You worry it'll hurt, but you also worry it'll feel good.

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Now you've made me wonder what's on the walls in the White House bathrooms.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

SPOILER ALERT: at the end, he finds out he's already dead.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hate when this happens.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Given the context, he might be dead.

5 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

The only perfect marriage is between a blind woman and a deaf man.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aeronautical mitosis.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Title sounds like me drunk.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I convinced a neighbor's kid it's called a booger pocket.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey guys, wanna see a magic trick?

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Why do I get the feeling somebody invented this right after a mammogram?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The one time I screwed up was when I bragged that I never had trouble and somebody asked me to put their desk together. Didn't go well.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dill Absinthebrownie

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We have a winner!

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Where's the one that allows me to talk with animals???

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Made me look...

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This was beautiful.

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0