Codiferous

23649 pts ยท June 12, 2011


The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Ornate Meat Tenderizer or Masochist Butt Plug?

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Hey guys, take a seat...

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Got an awesome surprise for my little one in the mail today

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Wag

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Why you should learn how to use your truck efficiently

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Every time I look at Instagram

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Girlfriend and I stumbled upon this pup. We are at odds for a name for him. What do you guys think?

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That's an unfortunate looking ghost.

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Silverware humor

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I love working with fellow geeks

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Uh, okay...

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Good job UPS

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Still waiting on a delivery

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Browsing random. I feel a little evil...

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In the matter of Jameis Winston...

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Fuck you, Kanye.

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Oh hai!

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I knew this dog looked a little familiar...

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And now for something completely the same

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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Refining my cruddy photoshop chops

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It's all a matter of perspective...

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How soon we forget...

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unnecessary quotation marks...

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Trying to help a friend out.

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How about giant manly things?

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Hate really long GIFs?

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Fixed.

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Really?

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Downvote fairies seem to be out in force tonight, so I made a post for them.

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Made some Jewish penicillin

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Well, someone's day just took a turn for the worse...

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Check out this fabulous afro moth

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Sometimes context helps...

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Cheers to Imgur for being able to upload hi res GIFs!

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This kitty needs a villain

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Fuck this guy.

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