ChrisWise
124275
5284
500
MRW I walk into a bar, just to see her stop mid conversation with her new boyfriend when she sees me
Am I a vain, shallow, petty man? Totally. But on the bright side I can run three miles without having to take a breather and I feel like I could kick down a barn.
P.S. Vanilla protein powder goes best with Horchata. Just trust me on that
FP Edit: I'd like totals this opportunity to say ButtStuff. Also, squats make your butt look good. Now go out and get fit you beautiful little bastards :)
TheImgurServer
pics or it didn't happen bitch
BlakeTortilla
I don't believe this, no one has gained muscle following the shitty FP bro science fitness advice.
ragingpinkbunnies
Sorry OP but imgur fitness posts are fucking retarded and there's no way you put on 20 lbs from just imgur research.
CaptainLogopolis
This totally happened
navicat
Break up with girlfriend, get offended by YOUR breakup, be petty and take it to heart and workout, rub it in her face.. OP sounds great!
deluxury
Pics or GTFO
pringlesyum
Yeah, I'm not seeing the point of gloating about dumping someone and them noticing you later once they've moved on. That's pretty normal
thecraftygryphon
That Borat gif made this
ChrisWise
It took an unreasonable amount of self control to not run past her yelling that while doing John Cena's "you can't see me" hand. So much
thecraftygryphon
I like your style
KidneyBeene
+1 for horchata.
DNAGenocide
OP, could you link me to the page? I need some physical changes in my life.
BlizzardESK
Ditti
BlizzardESK
Ditto*
Greekos1
Things that never happen for 500 alex...
emcubed
Rumchata? GOT IT.
ChrisWise
....yes
LetsEatGrandpaCommasSaveLives
Pics or it didn't happen
shrekimgur
20 pounds since last fall. Lol wut
MainSane
He'd be lucky to get a pound of muscle a month.
shrekimgur
a pound a month amazing
mstur
Yeah it's 20 pounds of water fat and muscle lol
MBoggles
You broke up with her. Why do you care who she is dating or what she thinks of you? You chose to leave her, not the other way around.
Worble
The last bit admitting being vain and shallow made the post. So many don't acknowledge the fact that this sort of solution is questionable.
Conflict
As long as its not a every day thing. I think being a little vain and shallow is ok. Makes you feel good lol.
Worble
Yeah I agree totally. I didn't mean it was outright wrong just as a coping mechanism could be deemed the wrong way to go about it.
Vectorman2
I dont get it, just because she stopped a conversation doesnt mean she wants the D, she could have just panicked about an awkward encounter
trolltherespawnjeremy
I'm calling bull shit. All the fitness advice I see on imgur is straight doo doo
ChrisWise
Pick things up, but them down, stick close to your Olympic lifts :)
trolltherespawnjeremy
Yeah but there's so much more to it than that
ChrisWise
Stick your butt out when you do squats? I honestly have just been weight training and eating like the hunger games was a literal suggestion
LemonFanta
Most people who go around 'picking things up' without some kind of understanding about the muscles they're using just screw up their back.
awkwarddoubleletters
I call BS. Unless you're on some kind of anabolic steroid or had some serious nutritional issues, 20 lbs muscle in 9 months is absurd.
Greekos1
Read this guy's profile...fake story
ChrisWise
Sure it is buddy :) Based on my fascination with rocks or what?
Smam
Before and after pics? U know. For Science.
TheWolfsFitness
Feel free to check out mine for science. Similar story got no recognition though....
mynamesbryson
He's lying.
ACoolGlassOfWater
I agree. The part that made me suspicious was the "following front page fitness" part. Gaining 20lbs of muscle takes a disciplined program.
ChrisWise
All I got is an after :/
ThrottleJesus
Or you could look at his last selfie and hope he gained that 20lbs in the span of 2 months. If not, then he's still small.
BastardOrphanSonOfAWhoreAndAScotsman
I see no selfies in his posts.
ChrisWise
I'm 6'5 and haven't taken a selfie since Christmas lol
Jakuberno
You kinda have to now... Come on! :-)
amsterdam1981
It's about time than...
mynamesbryson
From your posts, you're a well hung black man, voting for Trump, who goes to gay bars, and has autism. Ok bud.
ChrisWise
The trump thing was sarcastic, and I'm Biracial, but otherwise spot on homie
OrangeLansquenet
Sorry about autism man, keep fightin
ChrisWise
I'm not. Just because I'm running Linux in a PC world doesn't make me any better or worse off; I'm just at a different starting point is all
BakaGaijin2k16
what ur rice skills like fam? u got that window manager only aesthetic af shit down?
ChrisWise
Nope; I got that Codecademy ain't helping me learn how to modify my own damn kernels life going though. Shits hard when you learn this late
OrangeLansquenet
Is that how autism works? cause im ignorant, you know
ChrisWise
In a nutshell; I don't understand social cues very well, and tend to take a lot of things literally. Think Vulcan, or Sherlock Holmes :)
soobuwu
why is it always about some form of payback/revenge? people have opinions or are trying to hurt you. feel free to ignore them.
rainbowblow
i find my revenge and loathing motivates me far more than any positive reasons. I would definitely end up on the dark side if I were a Jedi
soobuwu
I find that controlling my emotions gave me a huge advantage over other people. But there's truth in what you say as well.
ParanoidWithGoodCause
it's the best motivator really. love fades away but hate is forever.
LemonFanta
Because it's easier to blame everyone else than it is to recognize what we have done wrong ourselves.
whateverdudes
'I feel like I could kick down a barn' PLUS ONE
bracobe
It's easier to burn them down.
okillshutupnow
You'd find Sophia but you'd release a hoard of zombies
1AMTHEBATMAN
I just started binge watching that show and now I understand this reference
PullMyPissPiglet
Lads, OP broke up with HER, she got rationally upset, and then OP got sad because she was mean to him. OP needs to man the fuck up.
ChrisWise
100% Accurate
PullMyPissPiglet
Your nonchalance at being so pathetically petty is genuinely beginning to annoy me, so I'm just gonna leave this disaster of a post. Bye.
ChrisWise
Your rapid investment in the one side of a story that remains unspoken for suggests you were annoyed from the get go homie :/
bekind2joeblake
So you dumped a girl and then flaunted yourself in front of her... Cool?
throbinwoo
Is pretty cool..
ChrisWise
Nope. Flaunting would involve me wearing a crop top and doing push ups on the bar. I ordered a beer and ignored the crap out of her :)
capnclutch
*Makes post for thousands of people to see about making her jealous* Nah, Not at all.
bekind2joeblake
You're still being mean to someone you dumped. That's not really cool. Are we suppose to think you're cool?
GeorgeWashingtonCarver
The considerate gentleman always stalks from afar, to ensure he never runs into an ex-lady-friend by mistake.
ChrisWise
Unfortunately, I spent all of my quality stalker time on these sweet gains bro :/
jokes41
He didn't intend on running into her at the bar and the working out was more for him so how was he being mean?
ChrisWise
Also, that's the same sort of logic rapists use. I shouldn't have to hide my body just because someone finds my existence attractive.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ChrisWise
...that I can wear flannel in a bar? I'm confused by your prompt man :/
bekind2joeblake
Ha, that was quite a stretch you just made
ChrisWise
Thanks, I've gotten pretty limber over the past few months...
ChrisWise
If walking into a building, ordering a beer, and not talking to someone is mean, then I guess so?
IProvideFakeContext
Theyre talking more about the attitude towards your ex than your action. Basically agreeing with what you said in the description.
ChrisWise
Well, she can go suck an egg for all I care. I wish her the best in life, but she was not a good person while we were dating or after :(
IProvideFakeContext
Btw, not saying I agree, because idc about your romantic life. Just kinda can see where theyre coming from.
fireawarningshotacrosshernose
now just steal her new boyfriend and you'll be all set
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/839/op.png
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/586/399/b23.gif
TheRicemanCometh
Damnit Wallace, again?!
G0MeatCube
Fuck him like a bitch!
AFistFullOfMayo
And maintain eye contact with her for dominance
ChrisWise
Oh my glob your username...
G0MeatCube
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mehnr39WeN1rd0rbzo1_500.gif
boatj
You are a genius.
FuckThisFuckingUsername
https://hugelolcdn.com/i460/183795.jpg
EvilOneLeo
I don't know why that pic actually make me suddenly want to be straight. Not a size slut at all. Lol
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/48/4882b65ed24d4b51de1485fa6bfdf8b279171e2440f78ab6595178e7f3c96271.jpg
imakewubs
LOL THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU PEOPLE
Ralpheo
Ass fuck him in her bed, to assert dominance
krapmyself
Fuck him like the guys you used to fuck in prison!
DJThuglifeSupreme
to establish dominance
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/2118168/Op
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/262/631/ffb.jpg
Shardikprime
Get all that brotein down and chug chug chug
edgarmunozsj
Get confused and fuck his dad
FuckThisFuckingUsername
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/353/412/30b.jpg
Kjp89
And fuck him face up big man
FuckThisFuckingUsername
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/405/636/6ed.gif
FuckThisFuckingUsername
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/45/45ec45e6d99410222effd8e2eaa6caa4bd736e7749ca24ac7a944ffafd7dbc20.jpg
AlmostScientist
suck his dick so good that he has to change his whole life; then turn straight again and then make fun of him and make him feel terrible.
FemaleINTJ
Why would you want to ruin his life. He didnt do anything?
AlmostScientist
Because there must be a body in the wreckage
WhoisLC
YOU broke up with HER and still got depressed by what she said...
Rikimarudevil
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Ganivet
I think OP just misworded it. He was probably trying to express that they broke up, not necessarily that he was the one doing the breaking.
Justineer
He missed the comeback: "Really? Cuz I just got finished with you!"
appliedmathematics
I broke up with my girlfriend and still get depressed about how she told me I'd be a terrible father and was worthless etc.
fluxbiota
she said something mean to him and it rustled his jimmies.
ChrisWise
https://41.media.tumblr.com/0ce0a0f2b8cae984e56720430238ec68/tumblr_mj1r8xpdo31qksk74o1_500.jpg
Fireguy97
He could have left her because she was making his life miserable.
WhoisLC
HelloMax
@OP sounds like a giant confused douchebag. I'd say this chick dodged a bullet.
RustyNeX
yea, that changes the whole thing. if someone breaks up with you and you use that as an inspiration to change then great. but if you /1
Vectorman2
That and she 'stops mid conversation with new BF' yeah a lot of people do that when they see an ex to decide if they should say hi or ignore
MetaphoricalFox
Because it wasn't far off the mark. [I know that feel]. Sometimes, you need that to become a better person.
EricMatthews
Just cause someone initiates the breakup doesn't mean they aren't hurt as well. So many different reasons for breaking up, after all
Andalite
I broke up with my GF of three years because I legitimately didn't love her anymore and I think I cried as much as she did. Hurting is human
TheodoreWitchfucker
This.
DegenerateFuck
Exactly man!
vmuny
Plot twist: she only said that because she knew he needed a tough wakeup call in order to become a better man
AggravatedWookie
Spoken like someone who's never been in a serious relationship...
tooColdtobeClever
Getting ripped takes dedication, but you haven't actually proven her wrong by working out. I suggest less whey more honest introspection.
LickMyPoliteCanadianbeaver
couldn't agree more
ChrisWise
Aww, but that requires me to examine and evaluate the shittier parts of my personality :( I doubt I'm gonna like what I find man :/
tooColdtobeClever
Yeah it's uncomfortable, nobody likes it, but it is necessary if you want to grow up and be the man you want to be.
ChrisWise
I know :( that doesn't make it any more pleasant or easy though :/ Oh well, at least I have the wear withal to understand I'm a tool
tlazolteotl
self-awareness is the first step
Pahqman
You know breaking up with people has an effect on the person doing it too, right...?
ChrisWise
I mean, it's not like she was a self deprecating drain on my ability to evaluate my own self worth or anything. That would be craaaazy!
LuraySkrenlo
So now that you can run 3 miles you have restored all of your "self-worth?" Have you worked on your philosophies and intelligence?
ChrisWise
If I'd restored all of it, do you think I'd be pandering to the Internet for validation?
LuraySkrenlo
No, I do not. But I didn't ask out of any personal interest. I'm glad you're aware of it.
PullMyPissPiglet
Wait, she was self-deprecating? So she had issues with her self-worth and that exhausted you, so you broke up with her and got sad?
ChrisWise
If I tell you your pretty, and you use that as an excuse to start an argument in four hours, that's a problem that I don't have to fix
SeniorLoadenstein
Word
DiscoSockPuppets
so she has self esteem or personal issues, and after cutting yourself loose from her you wanted to get some kind of revenge?
EricMatthews
I've actually had something like that. But it was less self deprecating and more severe depression
PullMyPissPiglet
I understand completely why one would end a relationship from being constantly dragged down by someone, but to praise yourself for doing so?
WhoisLC
http://persephonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/gw-itcrowdmosspopcorn.gif
RustyNeX
break up with someone, which always hurts the other person, and then go on to try and make them feel bad, you are a douche 2/2
tlazolteotl
Hey, I got broken up with once and was so delighted I did a small dance.
ChrisWise
Who knows, maybe this will be her turning point. Maybe in 6 months she'll walk into a bar and shut me up. I doubt it, but who knows?
astraecat
Who is even downvoting you? You're on a roll! Keep it up, man. If you weren't happy with the relationship you had no reason to stay in it.
BusterWoIf
I was wondering that too. Then i thought, the ex he broke up with might be doing it.
PullMyPissPiglet
HE broke up with HER, got sad because she was upset with him because of it, and then lords his comeback on the internet. That's why.
LemonFanta
I get the feeling that she dumped him, but he just worded it the other way around. Why would he get depressed if he left the relationship?
ChrisWise
Like I was a shit person for wanting different things out of life. Like my goals were "unrealistic". She can be happy, but I'm not the guy
ChrisWise
Because she made it sound like I ruined her life for not wanting to be with her anymore. She always did shit like that
PullMyPissPiglet
Dude, that's fair enough to end a relationship with someone that you no longer click with. But to celebrate your doing so? Nah.
ChrisWise
The celebration is more towards her being SUPER mean after we broke up. Hurt my feelers. Am I in the right? No. But it makes me feel better
ChrisWise
I was trying to make myself feel better; the regret she probably feels for being a big poop while we were dating is just like a bonus :)
[deleted]
[deleted]
HaydenMcLaen
Who shit in your cereal this morning?
ChrisWise
Me apparently :/
ChrisWise
Are... Are you telling me not to smile :( but how else will I add tonal inflection to my text!
51CorgisInABar
I dunno why people are down voting you, you did this for yourself. Also, these assholes gladly upvote posts about petty revenge on exes.
EricDerRote
there are really two kinds of people, the ones that like chocolate protein powder and the misguided rest,..
TheReaper95
Peanut is something I've always wanted to try. For now I'll settle for strawberry.
healthandsafetyinspector
Chocolate protein powder and PB2. That Reese's life. Too good, and almost all protein.
classybdandre
I buy my whey powder in bulk. Plain, whey flavor. You can mask/flavor it by mixing in peppermints, honey, or flavored BCAAs
jsiren
My chocolate protein tastes like bark off a tree that's in a city with smog that's solely protein farts
EricDerRote
wow, that sounds not good, like really get yaself som of dat brotin, brah take care of yourself, not gud
jsiren
THAT GOOD. STUFF. BRAH.
dirtyMIRCH
vanilla protein powder smells like farts
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
whoa buddy, some people are allergic to chocolate.
EricDerRote
some people are alergic to gains?
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
no honey, they also make the protein powder without a bunch of sugar and gross flavor, it even includes more protein.
EricDerRote
yes my darling, i know,.. and all the respect you deserve for actually being able to drink pure unflavoured protein powder,..
IGotCharlieWork
Are you vegan?
EricDerRote
nope
smarttarded
I would eat peanut butter flavor if they still had it
RussianWeightliftingJesus
I genuinely like unflavored protein powder, I think it tastes like pure gains.
Squelchtone
do they make it in Banana flavor?
EricDerRote
yeah, but you have to ask very politely since it is illegal in most states,..
Anotherlevel34
Strawberry. Sue me
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
ie, strawberry is the bomb.
UnitsToNesquikGuy
Strawberry is my jam! It's also the flavour of my protein powder.
DJasperProbincruxIV
BSN Strawberry checking in. Also, pretty much any BSN flavor.
EricDerRote
i will,.. may the penetentary convert you to accept the power that lies in the gloriousness of chocolate protein powder,..
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
CHOCOLATE! For some reason everytime i smelled a chocolate powder it would smell like prawns. Put me off so hard.
Theoldredeyes
I'm an isopure myself. Ha taste like GAINS.
EricDerRote
wot?
Godkarl
Also if you try orange juice in your chocolate...just try it...I mean it...surprisingly good.
trollisourbites
Honestly, all time favorite protein flavor is Rocky Road. As out there as that flavor sounds, it is superb
EricDerRote
bro, all chocolate protein powders are the same before the lord (of gainz)
150lbs
Sytrax chocolate truffle FTW!!!
EricDerRote
Damn,... that sounds good,..
DingleberryMcGee
Cookies and Cream stole my heart. Can mix it with pretty much anything!
EricDerRote
i tried that flavour, couldn`t eat chocklate chunk cookies for a month,..
Opportunist
But not a bad thing, if you're trying to lose your own chunk! :P
EricDerRote
It`s called a BULK,.. OK,..
BabyChalupaBatman
Can you mix it with chocolate protein powder?
DingleberryMcGee
I'd imagine that'd just make a singularity in the universe and cause a black hole. Mix with caution
socalwarrior
I upvoted your comment, but I HATE C&C I thought I was buying Vanilla, so I've been slowly trying to get rid of it for over a year
DingleberryMcGee
One scoop at a time, I believe in you!
socalwarrior
It was a Costco Twinpack. One side was Vanilla, other C&C. Ugh... kinda dreading next shake. Have considered 2 scoops to go faster.
TwoSeamer
Bruh, you can literally mix anything into your vanilla, it's kinda base flower that will disappear. But chocolate is always there 1/2
imnotashark
This is my logic too. I can make the vanilla taste like anything with different add ins. Chocolate... not so much.
TwoSeamer
2/2 no matter what you mix in it. So to me it always tastes like chocolate and you can't mask it. I don't like that. Overpowers other flavor
dunknthefunk
YES! vanilla is good straight up, you can make good smoothies with it, and if nothing else vanilla protein and orange juice is fucking great
Koztah
I'd rather get bulk unflavoured NZ whey with better macros than some brand-name Isos, for half the price of a 5lb tub of ON.
EricDerRote
Shure, but i don`t want to drink unflavourd,.. i just don`t like it
fedthepoopy
Yeah seriously... The vanilla tastes like shit
EricDerRote
#teamchocolate
BigAssPuppies
Chocolate protein powder and peanut butter. Blend with ice when you can and it's like a Reese's shake.
TheHappyCanadian
mix chocolate protein powder, oats, peanut butter then spoon into a muffin tin, freeze then store in a fridge for homemade protein bars
dirtehscandi
Throw in half a banana as well and you have a solid recovery shake too
SirGigglyBits
Ran out of choco protein. Roomie has vanilla. Guess I'm going to lose these gains, boys.
EricDerRote
please report back in 48hrs so we see you didn`t die from this vanilla stuff,..
SirGigglyBits
Update: Took vanilla protein and I'm throwing up uncontrollably. Please send help.
EricDerRote
ABORT,...!!!
ICantSeeMyForehead
Mint chocolate for the win
RepostFromLastWeek
Chocolate protein powder+instant coffee+milk.
EricDerRote
Chocolate powder+Cottage cheese+oats, blended,.. PR Fuel
absolutebullshit
My protein shake it a bit of a cheat. 1 banana 1 cup milk half a scoop Ice cream and 2 scoops chocolate protein powder. :) yummy
EricDerRote
have to try tha,..
absolutebullshit
It's really good
N3aera
Thank you very much for the only valid opinion! :3
DAMMITSTOPSTEALINGMYFAVORITEUSERNAMES
I personally liked vanilla more. My ex liked the chocolate and the cookies and cream one. Would mix it into his coffee.
EricDerRote
you just weren`t ment to be together, your protein powder says alot about your personality #noracism
DAMMITSTOPSTEALINGMYFAVORITEUSERNAMES
Haha I guess not. I guess I'll just test all future dates with protein powder.
EZliving
Agreed. I bought a 5-pound barrel of vanilla to try it out. I hate it and now add cocoa powder to it every time I use it.
seatbelthands
Depends on brand for me really
ChrisWise
I unfortunately am allergic to Soy, so my options are a bit limited
seatbelthands
Try NOW whey isolate. No bs ingredients and a great taste.
ChrisWise
But I'm basically completely restricted to 100% Whey hahaha
ChrisWise
After I get through my current jar of vanilla Schwarzenegger I will!
ChrisWise
*put it in horchata*
Trollopatomus
Never buy a 5 pounder until you KNOW it's worth your while lol
EricDerRote
but it`s chocolate, what could go wrong,...
IronMaidenCheif
Fucking word
EricDerRote
*brofist
Korga
I've got chocolate mint, shit is actually pretty good.
EricDerRote
but you take it after eight, right?
Korga
I usually work out at 8 so I guess I usually take it after 8, why?
Saxit
Chocolate + Banana drink, only protein thing I've liked
EricDerRote
ohhh,.. yeah,.. try chocolate milk wit a banana,..
dirtehscandi
Musclepharm Combat mint chocolate chip. Shit will change your fucking life for ever.
EricDerRote
*noted
ynottumblr
peanut butter whey is gross though
EricDerRote
i guess,...
ynottumblr
to me at least, though mine's a wee bit expired.
EricDerRote
so what hapens when it`s expired? does it tase different or tainted, look different?
ynottumblr
Personally I think it tastes differently, depending on how long it's been expired it'll get lumps. Once it starts lumping you need to pitch
ChrisWise
HORCHATA4LYFE!!!
Clorophyle
Horchata is disgusting.. Ewwwww!! I'm from Spain and I know what I'm talking about.
ChrisWise
You take that back!
Clorophyle
Or what? Hahahaha
IronMaidenCheif
But fer seriousthat sounds like itll make thr vanilla tolorable... progress pics? ?
fleshygrowth
Whoa whoa whoa back the fuck up. There's HORCHATA FLAVORED WHEY POWDER?
EcchiOjisan
Alboraia ftw!!!
Bulbathor
Thanks for the horchata tip. I love the stuff. Do you have a specific way of making it that you can share though?
ChrisWise
I usually just put two scoops of protein powder in a large blender bottle, fill the rest up with horchata, and shake the crap out of it lol
gorgosaurusrex
Wtf is Horchata?
Summersky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh3zE7wWD4E
shmopplesandbanonos
The tastiest beverage you will ever experience
ChrisWise
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW!?!?!? Google that shit!!! It's the best!!!!
belthasarthegreat
Vanilla + peanut butter, for real
ChrisWise
+Horchata?
Imghurrr
What is it doe
ChrisWise
Cinnamon rice milk. It's Mexican, and it is the shiiiiiiiiit :)