italianhobo411
493224
8261
272
I don't leave sticky notes for anyone.
So I am a transfer living with 3 other transfers this year and we share a suite and a bathroom. Recently I have noticed someone was moving my shampoo, which was normally left on the floor by me. My roommate has his own shampoo, the other suite mate has dreads, so I know who has been sharing without asking. I asked him to stop, and he has not, so I am going to take matters into my own hands.
This is the shampoo in question. It has been getting lighter and lighter, and I don't really use too much to begin with when I shower.
I might as well refill it.
I would hate if my suite mate was unable to take care of his hair.
Fuck you Kevin.
Put it right back where he left it, bottle open and everything.
Since I am at this time unable to pay the cat tax I hope this family of ducks that has been following me around at work will suffice.
Also I promise to deliver results or my name isn't italianhobo411.
Updates in comments.
ArchieK
As someone who's lived in dorms for about a decade, I'm telling you, he's using your shampoo as lube. To wank.
Rampage14
i knew a kid that used elmers as hair gel. Did the job
GraemeDynard
Punk rockers use it for their mohawks. It's apparently pretty safe stuff.
Shoura
Very possible. I use it to dye eyebrows when I need funky colours.
AReallySatisfyingPoo
Can't pay the cat tax. Is mad at someone named something other than Dan. GUYS, I'm not sure this checks out. We may have an alien among us
borgeano
#TeamGlue
thementallyconfused
I get your reference. And I like it. +1
Empresswrath
Or the less fun way, just get a shower caddy and put your things in your room when you're done.
bthighlander
That's what I was thinking.
euqiak
waiting for the results
o0ODoobyO0o
Update6: turns out he didnt use it for his hair after all. he is now running around with one hand down his pants.
TheFantasticJurassic
Yeesh. Talk about a hard one.
Naberhawk
Karl is pleased.
getoffmytrain
I understood your reference. +1
UncleVinny
Let's just hope he doesn't browse imgur
ISarabi
*OP changes name to avoid delivering*
italianhobo411
Do I look like Digornio?
ISarabi
That may be the first time I've ever enjoyed a pizza-related burn.
ireallylikekeylimepie
this was brilliant
Alaskabound
Duck tax is acceptable also
MissT
misterrootbeer
After reading it all, did anyone else scroll up to make sure OP's name really is italianhobo411?
actuallyacoolusername
I was just about to ask this. Glad I'm not the only one. :P
OrangeCarrot
I wonder if his real name is italianhobo411
ilooveboobs
I did it :D
RoninOni
What did you think the green 'OP' meant?
misterrootbeer
Ostrich Pastrami. Doesn't sound appealing to me.
Poodlebrain
That'll be a sticky situation
BraveAthos
Once upon a time my neighbors roommate always used their detergent until one day that neighbor put 3 bottles of blue food dye in with it...
IRideUnicornsNakedInPublic
I fully advocate this. Theft carries consequence.
CreepyPhlox
It would irk me to no end if someone left their bottle on the floor of the shower! That's what the shelf is for!!
SailorHarlequin
when I was staying in a dorm we had more bottles than shelves, shit got put on the floor.
italianhobo411
Update 3: The air smells like a mix of shampoo and glue.
EudemoniousEukaryote
Elmer's glue hardly smells at all. How would a tiny bit being mixed with water create a noticeable odor.
italianhobo411
I don't know how to explain what I smelled, but I dumped the whole bottle into the empty shampoo bottle.
diregamer
Lol thanks for the update
Bru9
Elmer's Glue!? It's water soluble dude. try sometime a little more fucked up. Like Nair.
Winterous
I also read that "stay classy imgur" thing ;)
theejasonator
calm down satan
Heartlyss
How's this for fucked up: My dad would mix a bottle Nair and a bottle of conditioner to gently remove ear hair. He never labeled it.
Winterous
That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
JamesIsaacNeutron
I feel like this could have been handled much more efficiently if you'd just keep your shampoo in your room.
PippyHipthrust
my name is kevin and i got really worried for a second.
PippyHipthrust
but then i realized i have no hair.
kristouph
Should have used nair.
TheSaltiestPretzel
Almost did this to a former roommate's girlfriend once. She never used my shampoo, she was just a bitch and didn't pay rent.
LordLootifer
you're evil.......
DontEatTheCrabDipYeyay
Nair takes a while to work, and guys never leave shampoo in their hair long enough for it to work
OhDavidMyNacho
It's not supposed to be used with water, I think chemical burns are a bit far for a prank.
LordLootifer
you're evil...i like you
MrCoolGuy
My sister did that to me once when we weren't getting along
italianhobo411
I want to fuck with him a little not burn his scalp off... will remember if this keeps happening though.
Kiriain
What I wonder is why is he using Head and Shoulders for dreads? Head and Shoulders is at best a short hair cleaner.
Ironnz
if it really gets bad... use this http://www.liquidass.com/ however everyone will hate you. Even you.
kpmatias
toothpaste (a little bit watered down) - minty fresh dried out straw hair and probably some tears - as it isn't tears free)
LupusYonderboy
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008MZ6OUU/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_s-Cmub10Q8A4X
ADirtySmellyHippy
it wont burn his scalp off, if anything it might just cause his hair to become natty like a black persons hair.
italianhobo411
He is black.
ADirtySmellyHippy
Oh. Well then...
imamermaidgangleader
Is this Karl...(whispering) King of Ducks?
HubCapDiamondStarHalo
I so got that
loafroaster
Wasn't this in a Police Academy movie?
CertifiedInternetProfessional
Sauce: http://youtu.be/iVpMOc1-Wg4
sciencept
Police Academy 2, iirc.
plainoldfool
Apparently OP's roommate is Lt. Mauser.
savoreverysecond
PROTIP: This is not how problems are solved.
LeJaxo
Yes it is
YouCanChange
PROTIP: sometimes ppl are assholes and should be dealt with as such so long as no real harm is brought to them.
NeoDarkElf
Gunning down CEO's in the street is so hot right now.
Zodi
PROTIP: if you already tried asking nicely, it's completely okay to do this to someone who ignored your polite request.
ThisCannotBEEEEE
What else is her gonna do? He already asked him to stop
ilovepineapples06
Also, telling your RA wouldn't be a bad idea.
edmondtantes
Keep it in your bed room and take it with you when you shower. Keep it secret, keep it safe
WhoPaidForThisFloor
That's a pain in the ass. OP shouldn't have to do that.
iamireland
There's justice and then there's going out of your way to accommodate assholes. I don't do the latter.
TheIronMaiden
*lather.
italianhobo411
Update 2: I just heard him yell "what the fuck nigga" I think he discovered the glue.
cenafordinner
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/MichealJacksonPopcorn.gif
Imapeacockyagottaletmefly
I demand more updates!
ReptilianOverlord
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/062/a/d/castle_popcorn_gif_by_namgis-d5wuzdn.gif
Florxnog
OP Delivers Part One
Warranty
I just lost faith that this was real.
verbalhermanmunster
As soon as someone starts posting comment updates I realise they're just an upvote whore but whatever, who gives a shit
italianhobo411
Two of us are white two of us are black, they like to throw that word around a lot.
houseofballoons
Yeah me too. Not sure why you got downvoted so much.
homemadecookies
gtaomg
.
BigDaneYo
Step one: copy url. Step two: open url. Step 3: save picture.
chemistrydoc
StuckUpHalfWittedScruffyLookingNerfHerder
Baby Hope? :D
NeilHatTrickParis
I would pay so much money to have Tim Gun give me a compliment
italianhobo411
Update 4: I don't think he suspects me he has yet to knock on my door, I think you guys were right about it washing out.
choorp
You should mix 80% Alcohol with it next time! it will burn in a decent level
fermatsfirst
If he accuses you then he reveals his own guilt. Maybe he's laying low because he knows he can't say anything
RyanVanscoy
Don't forget it's glue when you go to wash your hair
JessThe2ndBestt
Just keep the glue bottle in there and keep your shampoo in the room taking it with you every time you shower
DutchyMcDutch
Try adding hydrogen peroxide. It will bleach his hair and can't be washed out.
hencethequeef
BRILLIANT.
TheMoustache
If he is surreptitiously using your product he probably won't say boo unless he's down for a brawl.
Sandytoo
More about the ducks, please!
Locharoundtheclock
He is karl, king of ducks.
italianhobo411
I can post an album of the ducks if there is interest.
FlamingBunnyTomb
Your previous duck tax was insufficient, you need to post more ducks to finish paying off your tax bill.
jellybeansRAWOFCOURSE
I second interest in said ducks.
whooshby
OP delivered!
Locharoundtheclock
Are you the prophesized karl, king of ducks?
ireallylikekeylimepie
THERE IS INTEREST
FatcatswithFatstacks
That is literally my only interest.
ResultsMayVary0
Mine as well.
Imgoingbacktomycave
Yes please.
GendouLovesDucklings
THERE IS MUCH INTEREST! POST THE DUCKS!
[deleted]
[deleted]
GendouLovesDucklings
Excellent.
TRIBOB
sorry I reported you
italianhobo411
Update: He is singing very loudly in the shower right now, I don't think he has discovered the glue yet.
rsauber80
Pretty sure this is assault and you're liable for any damages...
neongloww
It's water soluble craft glue given to children. Calm down.
hogjockey
Nope, not even remotely assault. You have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
No, you're just a dumbass.
OscarTheGrouch
I have never seen a comment do so badly.
INeedTities
no he isn't it is his shampoo , kevin shoud use his own stuff. If u use other ppl property it can be anything , it is his own fault
K1ngFiasco
Or, since this is his own personal property and not something he gave permission for him to use, the other guy can't do shit.
shadowsofthemind
Not only would he not be liable for assault, since he did not experience apprehension from immediate danger, he could be sued for conversion
Alkalina
Sounds like you're the type to do shitty things and then sue when things don't go as planned.
rsauber80
I've never sued anyone and I don't do shitty things. I'm not advocating suing, i'm advocating not doing stupid things and getting sued
WhyDoIEvenComeToThisWebsiteIMeanForFucksSakeImARepublican
in all seriousness, a case that frivolous would get tossed out of court very fast
rsauber80
the law has always placed a higher value upon human safety than property. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katko_v._Briney
rsauber80
I know you all want to laugh about it, but if the guy gets hurt, he can be sued. I'm not saying it's right, i'm saying it is the way it is
Natalan
This glue is non-toxic and washes out with water.
Alkalina
Children eat it. Oversensitive assholes is what's wrong with US' legal system.
Vanesh
And the other can be sued for theft. USA love their trials. But no, you'll lose if you sue someone for the bad quality of smthg you stole.
shadowsofthemind
It would more likely be conversion of property than theft.
italianhobo411
So what if I like mixing my shampoo with some Elmer's glue.
rsauber80
That's a weird fetish that will get you in trouble with roommates
italianhobo411
So is taking your roommate's shampoo after being asked not too.
kila
It's been 4 minutes. Are you dead, OP?
Lalinnee13
should get a picture of him with his hand stuck to his hair if sayd event happens :P
VonGod
Nonono. You can't just use normal glue. Get a ton of SUPER Glue. THAT stuff will go from liquid to molasses in a few seconds.
VonGod
You need to find something that has a bunch of water resistance.
MyUsernameIsDaSchiznit
Please let us know what brand the new shampoo is when a new bottle suddenly appears in the next few days. Ask why he made the switch...
iwantacorgi
use nair
USAFRetired
Only on your ex...
reclaimingrequiem
Oh god.
Godmcgod
In all honesty this a dick move.
daffy7825
RAPED with downvotes. lmfao
OppressiveShitlord69
"Boo hoo, someone pranked me after I stole their stuff"
dorkiusmaximus
How? It's a dick move his roommate is using his shit and refuses to stop.
Godmcgod
Holy shit it is Head and Shoulders shampoo. That shit is like 5 bucks. Idk maybe ask the room mate to buy the next bottle to share?
dorkiusmaximus
He'd probably say no to that too. Why the fuck can't the roommate buy his own in the first place? That's pretty damn nasty.
Godmcgod
Seriously? Putting glue in the bottle is childish and overkill. And how do you know he would say no without asking?
italianhobo411
Update 5: There was a knock on the suite door, I leave my bedroom and see him glaring at me from behind his door. An RA was at the (1)
PeskyHeske
I'm an RA, I would have laughed and left.
italianhobo411
My RA and his gf who is also an RA are buddies of mine and they laughed too.
UserSubmariner
Updates OP, its been 2 hours
swifter66
I <3 glupoo
Drewscifer
More ducks
BatmansUnderPantsAreSoSoft
What's an RA
unexpectedplottwist
"Resident Advisor" basically somebody employed to help you if you have any questions about living in student housing
BitchButcher
That ancient God
JurassicParkour
By the power of Ra
angrybeards
Resident Assistant; person who'd come by and take contraband, chase out illicit guests, tell you to turn down your music/tv/game
angrybeards
Or if you had a cool one.. tell you to blow the pot-smoke out the window and take empty beer bottles and cans to the next dorm over.
TienDow
Resident Assistant. They get their room and food paid for. In return they look after people and do paperwork. ... ..they're babysitters. =)
LeslieElaine
Best answer yet
MyLoWRiDeR
RA = power hungry douche bags
InDogsWeThrust
Not much, what's an RA with you? OH SNAP!!!
DotaCanSuckMyBalls
die
BatmansUnderPantsAreSoSoft
that was bad, you should feel bad. I would upvote you but it wouldn't help
daffy7825
what the actual fuck.
hockeyham
Resident Alien. They reside legally in the US for work but have citizenship in another country.
BatmansUnderPantsAreSoSoft
lol!
NarcissusInc
Somehow, I dont think he was talking about this kind of RA.
italianhobo411
suite door doing a suite check. He closes his door when I let her in. I am going to let him continue using the glupoo without telling him.
data2dyne
nice
Lambpasty
>glupoo
IamSmutty
Glupoo. Trademark that shit a-fucking-sap
Zephirenth
Serves the shampoo-snarfin' bastard right.
IwasShotInRenoForNoDamnReason
Gluepoo should become a product just for dreads
JaimeLannistersRightHand
Next time: jizz
brasskicksass
Replace it with super glue; something like the modeling glue Zap-a-Gap will give results regardless of the water
AprilHamLincon
When time comes, tell him that this prank was intended for you and he just took your bullet. you'll have to come up with a prankster tho.
haswar
Sounds like a good time to buy new shampoo and carry it in and out with you secretely.
qqkikilicious
Sometimes people use shampoo as a lubricant.
onewingedfaythe
I say if the glupoo doesn't work put some Nair in there if you really want to teach them a lesson.
kisforkatewhowasstruckwithanaxe
Be careful. This spiking-things-with-unfortunate-things game can swing both ways in shared space. Not saying you were wrong, just be careful
prototype01
+1
joedohn
Cue the 'milk gently spiked with coke' cartons.
Myfirstnamewaschosen
Either carbonated milk or milk that makes you paranoid and impotent.
sirpipthegreat
still no idea the sham poo wasn't real poo?
DivesFromWipeClub
Please. Try icy-hot or toothpaste.
RawrKelly
+1 for Italian-ness and "glupoo"
kamikami994
MOAR UPDATES
NoBeardTheIrate
If you don't get much of a reaction,add food colouring, it won't be permanent but will stain his skin and convey a quick message.
LeslieElaine
Don'tcha tink he'd notice the color change in his hand first??
WouldIWasShookspear
Okay but why don't you just take the shampoo back to your room instead of leaving it in the shower?
GasBandit
Because civilization god dammit
TheGayPenguin
That's a complication to his routine that he shouldn't have to deal with.
LeslieElaine
^^^Ah, the voice of reason! Is always safest to take the higher ground
cathysaurus
Haha, did he complain to the RA about the shampoo he was stealing from you?
RupertG
What's an RA?
a2rcbsc
Resident Assistant.. The guy or girl who always poops your party.
RupertG
I love pooping.
mellifluouscipher
Resident Assistant. They help students who live in dormitories on university campuses
cheekyfucker
Resident Assistant in college. Like an adult babysitter that destroys fun.
cathysaurus
Resident assistant. Person that people in a dorm can go to with their issues. Usually one assigned to each floor in standard dorms.
navajoe
An RA is a Resident Advisor. Basically their job is to make sure you don't die or cause an event where other residents die.
RupertG
And thank you too. Jet8402 was first, I'm afraid.
italianhobo411
No he just hid in his room.
Imapeacockyagottaletmefly
Like the little shithead he is.
LizzyBrown
The guy sounds like an asshole that needs to buy his own shit.
C137ImMrMeseeksLookAtMee
He sounds like a bitch
alex10175
Any more updates for a poor mobile user?
WiggleMeJiggles
As an RA, I would support you with what you are doing, screw him if he's going to be an ass like that, he deserves what he gets.
guywithwifi
what a bish
tooindecisiveforausername
ya bish
HUFLPUF
Need to add Nair to the bottle next time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQaqZQK24_4
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
I did this to my drill instructor in Basic Training (he was a dick, and was EXTREMELY proud of his flat top) I got away with it.
ThatSamIAmThatSamIAm
White glue is water soluble and will rinse right out, unnoticed. Try dye.
Tituskryxx
depends most of it will, but it will leave a weird semi dry sheen and crispy feeling but no permanent damage
LoudAngryJerk
urine also works
Aelinsaar
Try Nair.
ginja
Try nair.
iSoulend
Well, I believe the smell will tell him there was something fishy!
SingleNiceFedoraWearingClassyGuycautiondonotfriendzone
Just try puking into the bottle. Subtlety is key, friend
RoomTemperatureCoffee
This thread made me research the worst things you could put in a shampoo bottle and my web use is probably being watched pretty closely now.
Nots
Or piss, cum, shit, even all three at once. FUCK YOU KEVIN!
ALLOFTHEBACON
Or Nair
Fan79
http://youtu.be/iVpMOc1-Wg4
tanadarko
maybe with dreds it'll be more effective?
LadiesLoveMyPhD
Baby Oil. Easily the worst.
Fan79
http://youtu.be/iVpMOc1-Wg4
joeystar
Nope, try Nair.
BrotherhoodOfTheTaco
You people are evil...
weresmurf
We replaced the whole bottle once. While it's true it's soluble, it does leave enough resin on the hair to make it go tacky and sticky (1/2)
weresmurf
and generally very yucky for a while. Hopefully it works! (2/2)
bimpnottin
Put garlic in it. He won't get that smell out of his hair for months.
EZStreets
You could always dye his skin with enough added silver nitrate.
[deleted]
[deleted]
BiscuitCrusher
"I Jizz don't know what's wrong with the shampoo bottle today.."
Blurbsmith
"Woah, man. The whole bottle? Respect."
BrendanDufftronic
Also, this is another load of bollocks post. Hey check out all the updates, this is so interesting, please keep us informed.... Fuck off.
TarderSauce
Leave it to the internet to come up with several ways to humiliate someone.
Danceswithmoonmoon
Or nair!!
Geo80
or lye.
usernameavailableisnot
That's super dangerous. It'll burn through his skin. Going too far.
danjo
It might behave weirdly enough to get him to stop though. Glue and shampoo are not the same consistency.
infomuffin
He might think it is superglue!
stutteringbob
He might think it's something else too...
infomuffin
OH MY GOD. I meant to write semen first.
Rivalyn
White glue will feel slimy, is less viscous, and takes a surprisingly long time to rinse out.
CreativityInModeration
It's like...you know.
Rivalyn
Through the experience of having a glue-soaked paint roller hit me in the face at work, yes.
Serpenttine
Not sure if you missed what he was going at, or if I'm going to far.
InDogsWeThrust
spoken like a former shampoo thief...
iamireland
"Yo, I served my nickel!"
Thesmithlord
+1 for John Mulaney quote!
WhatzitTooya
Use grease or mayonnaise. Mix it with oil for the perfect consistency. And hide all the other shampoo.
WhatzitTooya
Hardcore mode: Automatic transmission fluid. Perfect color and viscosity. But a bit pricey...
myrrlyn
Isn't ATF red? Last I checked (this morning; OP and I use the same shampoo) this stuff is blue-white.
WhatzitTooya
Yes, ATF is Red, just like a lot of other red shampoos. I forgot to mention that he would need to switch the brand, for distraction purpose.
myrrlyn
I've never seen a red shampoo before. I really want one now. TIL
unresponsivenipples
Mayonnaise just makes your locks silky smooth.
WhatzitTooya
Maybe, but he wont get that greasy shit out of his hair without any soap around.
rtillerson1
Or hydrochloric acid
slartibartfastgodofcoastlines
That'll teach him to fuck with a $7 bottle of shampoo!
Taterzlol
Whoa there satan.
BadgerMushroomSnake
There, there, Satan. Calm down, eaaasy
sleepilee
i'd go with piss. piss and semen
pemdasfurreal
I had an abusive step dad seriously piss in my shampoo before. It was definitely traumatic.
duhduhduhdiabeetus
I-I think that's considered assault
LewigiC
a noble concocktion
OlieOlieOxenFree
Semen AND piss? Calm down there satan.
TheBeardOfJustice
whatever happened to a good old fashioned ass whoopin?
ZacMuerte
passive-aggressive people.
TheBeardOfJustice
AKA pussies
gmdave
I noticed Eminem. I hope I'm not alone!
hypostatic
I'd go for superglue gel. That actually solidifies when it touches water
shadowex3
That would harm someone.
IamFartacus
It will also solidify on contact with the shampoo, or with exposure to air...
Quessan
it actually solidifies a LOT slower in air.
ReptilianOverlord
That could end horrifically if it got in someone's eye . . .
kelpsie
He'll certainly never touch his shampoo after that.
IMentionedTheBisque
No tears
PrincessMerida
I got superglue in my eye once.....
Quessan
Curious, did it burn? Or did it solidify fast enough that you just couldn't open it?
PrincessMerida
I barely felt it. I just couldn't blink. After waiting for 3 hours at the eye hospital, it started to hurt (like if you had a stone in 1.2
bestestfester
ending in a lawsuit
SatansThong
or BLEACH!
fishflakes
Just straight bleach from the container won't do anything to bleach his hair with one brief shampoo. It could damage his eyes, though.
TheDudeanator
Okay, calm down satan.
SaberToothTwinkie
Well, he/she is Satan's Thong
AUsernameNotTaken
Fuck that, use napalm.
Xelada
No, no use Nair.
venster
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/012/367/evilest.gif
GeeUknit
food colouring & vinegar (or citric acid, to avoid vinegar smell). Even if he notices before he puts it on his hair, it'll stain his hands
whiterthantofu
red dye to catch him red handed
Mugz
Blue to match the original hue of Head and Shoulders.
GeeUknit
green or blue stands out much more
wessyfbaby
Or Nair.
Mcflyvol
That's probably bad enough to warrant some intervention from the RA at the very least. Possibly school admin....
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
I am fairly certain you are free to add Nair to YOUR OWN BOTTLE of shampoo.
Cheknya
This, it's his bottle of shampoo. Maybe he wanted to shave his head but didn't want to have to shave every day?
pappycat
Nair has a super nasty, super distinct smell as well. Unless he squirts the shampoo directly on his head he
jrau18
Nair actually needs to sit for it to work, though. Most guys don't leave shampoo in long enough for it to be effective.
Dimind
If it is the dreds though, I am pretty sure he will not be able to get it all out.
jrau18
Then OP did him a favor.
shirtlessteo
Well it's Head and shoulders, so it's meant to be left in for minutes, to deal with dandruff and all.
ImTheOneWhoTookYourRug
So does dandruff shampoo. It would probably work, though it's very very evil. (psst, do eet! )
ZacMuerte
wait... we don't? shiiiiiiit. I usually put it in, go brush my teeth, then rinse it out. I want somebody to tell me this isn't weird.
jrau18
It's not weird. It's just not the norm.
blitherypoop
...for the Nair to be effective. It needs to stay on for 5+ minutes, I think. Shampoo is rinsed out directly after lathering.
ZacMuerte
see, that's what I'm saying. I do leave shampoo in for a while. and I'm sure even the 3 minutes it takes to brush my teeth would do damage.