grahambot
328692
14506
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Names/images removed to protect our identities.
FP edit: My roommate @bleedinggreen and I were bored during a football game one day (our team was clobbering the other team), and we profiled one of my matches. Due to her picture, we could assume some details about her personality.
We came up with the punchline and worked together on the middle pieces. John Cena because John Cena.
No, I did not get a date. :(
Gestrupp
i love it
GladiatorofMonteCristo
I'll date you if you tell me how I'll die
TheMysteriousBanana
read the whole thing. Worth it.
ZachPutland
I get it. I'm not laughing, but I get it
WhitneyNiccoli
It did end with 69% battery. That's something...
JalapenoBaguette
As soon as I read John Cena I face palmed and said goddammit.
shanabanana
Mother. Fucker.
v
CliftonSantiago
It's easy to profile people when you realize how generic people who try to be different actually are
Bigwhite979
I really would love to see her reply
getyourfruitoffmeyoudamndirtygrapes
skip right to the downvote
Kegera
http://imgur.com/DGZl8pe
SeanVsInternet
THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!
OldDirtySock
Wow that wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be.
bawjaws2000
♬ She's gonna drownnnn....Let's go on Tinderrrr ♬
theresakittyoverthere
this is so, so, so good
thepuppet
VCRwizard
Left and came back to up vote, because you're clever and Ke$ha
LosLocosKickYourAss
I've always said shes the kinda chick you'd brag to your buddies about, but wouldn't take home to your mom.
JessDrake
You had me at hello
aserenitatum
godDAMMIT!
Chronicle
Insubordinate!... and churlish!
IAmTheUnpopularOpinion
no
marylanddd
shout out to the chick getting texted for rolling with it and for calling herself out on the typo
Eiggs
sza34
Good shit, (do dooodoo do) cracked me up
WhereDidILoseMyPants
I just hear the Bud Ice commercial with the penguin saying Doobeee DoBe Dooooo
drip11
Shouldn't it be "Dooo dodo Doo"?
MegaQuackLord
Actually, i think it is "Doo DoDo Doooo"
sza34
Youre thinking too much, just laugh
musicalvicegrips
Y'know I even read the username before I started reading this and I felt like it was ok. Nope. It's wasn't ok. DAMMIT!
TheBrainMuncher
But how did they know all of that stuff about them... Or was the while thing fake?
SamMan
His room mate was on the other phone.
Conflict
Its using stereotypes and depending on how the answer the questions you can assume other things. Its not very hard.
Boonartlu
And no. It wasn't fake.
PresidentZombie
There's a thing called "Cold Reading". Every single psychic medium, or anyone claiming psychic or mystical powers, has used it. Just tricks.
SenatorFrankUnderwear
Send the message to enough people and you're guaranteed to hit every time. And they'll be amazed, since they don't about the others.
Boonartlu
They actually just made some very easy deductions. Girls these days aren't very original.
mechanimated
Lol I didn't realize having a hobby and getting cheated on was passe these days my b.
FloridaResident
TheRedOnesTasteLikeBurning
ElecTech
At least the battery isn't at something like 10% or lower.
Skeetskeetnojustkiddingthatsgross
That issue was addressed with the 6
Ryebread91
Yeah but less than an hour dropped from 82% to 69%
lezbro
I'm so surprised she didn't just tell you to fuck off. That's the real shock of this post
Dachende
I don't find this funny, I can't get behind this "John Cena" thing? It must be just an american thing ? I've seen lots of posts with it 1/2
popejubal
I haven't seen John Cena on IMGUR at all.
TheRedOnesTasteLikeBurning
Yeah it's been pretty banal, just waiting for the end of this meme.
BoomerTiro
This prank call started it all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRRsXxE1KVY
shaqie
Obviously, you CAN'T SEE his impact on Imgur.
planetguy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LksB2RWyDbU
bofadeez
It's from a radio prank call
Dachende
But not one has been funny... is it an inside joke or something ?
RecreationalParks
It's from the John Cena prank call.
DontGoInTheDogPark
Go watch john cena prank call. It came from a radio station pranking a woman with the theme tune
Dachende
watched it, still not funny :/ Am I old ?
DontGoInTheDogPark
People like different things :)
InanityWolf
Not everyone finds everything funny, and unless you're in your fifties the guys in the video were probably older than you.
sekfry
Tl;dr
TheFloofPolice
Don't tell me what to do OP!!
myusernameismyrealname
its worth it, except you prob read the ending when you scrolled down to write a comment
DisenfranchisedSovietBear
John Cena. Dont waste your time.
DontPurpleRainOnMyParade
http://imgur.com/c1eXN2X
UmaroXP
It's boring and poorly written, by an "english major", no less. You missed nothing.
CaptainJackM
You must be the life of parties.
UmaroXP
Ha, joke's on you. No one invites me to parties.
SageGoesInEveryField
http://imgur.com/fu5061q
PopatoMc
Vincent should be in there.
kiousu
I love your username.
SageGoesInEveryField
Thank you! I couldn't believe it was available when I took it. <3
ssuzie
Fuck yes
SgtPancakes
Where is Confused Travolta?
GerhardRammelhausen
You can't just expect the Spanish Inquisition
SecretlySkeletonHitler
@tomfoolery
TheNextHafthorBjornsson
@usernametomfoolery
FireUpTheCloudCarLando
Oh good, the updated forms are in. I was tired of having them bounced back by HR.
ZimDaFox
Someone make imgur bingo
Kaysmira
Don't anyone make it a drinking game because we'd lose a lot of people in the first hour and the rest wouldn't remember it tomorrow.
Silent002
SublteTextErrors
I'm glad this is a thing.
cdinsmore
What about kocoum?
whosaidjehovah
No need for comments any more guys, take the rest of the week off.
cmfler
Aaahh the big three: Malarkey, shenanigens and tomfoolery
kavicky
*slowclap*
Iwanttofingeryou
i believe i fit in that final category
IAmJustTryingToFitIn
Do I fit in ti that final category?
ashketchumsleftnipple
Ditto
TheMotherOfOP
Same here, hun.
imgyour
Mother of...!
TheMotherOfOP
OP. I'm the mother of OP. It's the title. Killed mid-sentence?
imgyour
Tomfoolery mid-sentence.
TheBrownSlimShady
So that's the formula for getting to front page!! Now I just need to learn how to make a gif and put all of them in one gif
PikaChunin
sage
phabicht
Where is "song lyrics" ?
SecretlySkeletonHitler
This isn't YouTube
phabicht
SecretlySkeletonHitler
Oh, my bad. This isn't 4chan*
phabicht
The image wasn't from a conversation on imgur either. Of the ridiculous bait and switches you might find here, song lyrics are not uncommon.
Archaon6044
skylin05
Honestly for all that, it had a stupid punchline.
FrigginCornflakes
always scroll to the bottom first to check, then go back and read.
RedTec
Yep, that was fuckin lame
menthols
The most amusing part for me was how he made such generic obvious guesses about this chick, and she's so gullible she completely eats it up.
menthols
Sadly though, all downhill from there and a waste of time to read IMO. :/
apiringLEO
Glad I skipped to the bottom when it started talking about a husband.
m4rci4no
Then imgur is not the bestest of sites if you worry so much about time lost. Let alone take the time write a comment about it.
menthols
Oh I'm not worried about time lost, I wouldn't be here if I was :P. I'm just saying the best part was the intro.
Cptmike
Best Blue text i've read all year
MegaQuackLord
But it is White Text...
SweetToof1890
you are technically correct...
PlasmaRoar
The best kind of correct
JoGoWhoa
Best one I've ever read. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Color me impressed.
Galamedes
I concur
McLovinGNF
Indubitably
[deleted]
[deleted]
wertpenguin
I always up vote deleted comments
pmaguire13
Oh so you didn't text yourself that whole time? Well damn it I was going to ask you how it felt talking to yourself.
spiceass9000
Wait how did you know all that other stuff about her though
grahambot
We guessed based on her picture
spiceass9000
Holy shit.. U should change ure major to something with investigating
grahambot
I'm a computer science major... I can only promise to use my analytic skills for as little evil as possible ;)
grahambot
we decided how we wanted to set her up (John Cena joke) and he wrote the whole story piece
TheWholiganOfGallifrey
What did it say?
Codiferous
So how did she react?
grahambot
She said she thought it was a joke all along and was impressed with the storytelling. Didn't get a date
Axises
Well, I guess Robin Williams was wrong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HakC7adLtKo
FangornRoots
Well if a girl isn't impressed by that enough to go on a date, then she probably wouldn't be a very interesting companion.