AndNowTheWeather
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His bio just listed facts about his dog. Consider me intrigued
dagggg
More
Louisckismyspiritanimal
Fuck dude after seeing those humpback and vegetable lines I've realized my tinder game needs work
fullofwastedpotential
Girls with a sense of humor are the best
eanfledtheelf
There are guys named Jaxson who are old enough to have sex?
DoctorWhoots420
Trolling at its finest
Tunzaphun
All your openings have been filled? What about the back of the knee??
bosstonez
CLAWED MY WAY UP FROM HELL. +1
adambadun
Charge your phone you brute!
Yeterel
Going to use the CUTE-cumber comeback at some point
ienjoymoonlight
FINEAPPLE
DJNatsak
I like to tinder while drunk. Makes me less lonely
makelikeatreeandleave
The cute-cumber one had me in tears!! Haha!!
thk5013
You seem like fun.
Drice
Shower thought: Pickup lines are just shitty puns where instead of not laughing, you don't sleep with them.
50shadesofbiden
This is awesome.
mehmehgerd
A CUTEcumber ... and a huge burden on your friends and family xD crying hahaha
OneDayIWillBeBeatToDeathOverAPunButTodayIsKnotThatDay
It was all good and fun until she dissed Linda. Linda is a national treasure and our best chance at stopping the Daeshbags.
AndNowTheWeather
#lindapendence
aaront50
Haha its funny cause it almost looks like in-da-pendence but it's really Linda.. ah too good...yeah, I need a life.
Pixlization
I guess these sick rejections means you're still single?
Pixlization
This is so us, me making a grammatical error in my comment and you sitting there being all badass.
FenyxKnight
Reference game is hot
pie177
Probably should give those guys a glass of water, cause they are thirsty as fuck.
whitechocolatethunda
I mean... It's tinder. It's not like they tried to get laid at mass or something.
whydidievendothis
Married so I never had to use Tinder, but guys these days seem like they are awful at talking to women.
DrDoomMD
The amount of guys trying to backseat hit on OP in the comments is embarrassing.
[deleted]
[deleted]
coolestkat999
Thanks Hitler.
foxfire1112
it's the definition of cringe
TheyCallMeTheDoc
You know... I've contemplated getting on tinder ... But I'm just to fuckin lazy to talk to people.
Grubenwolf
You're probably better off without it. Biggest waste of my time ever. Bots, scammers, and empty conversations.
TheyCallMeTheDoc
For the best... Specially in this area... To many gold diggin women. It's worse now that I'm not just in the Army but also a M.D.
bgod
Oh my gosh! 2% battery life?! What are you doing with your life?!
CirclejerqueDuSoleil
I'm surprised it even got to 2% instead of going down to 11% and suddenly dying for no damn reason
GwyeneveretheRed
Living life dangerously.
puupyfacetomatonose
Making all manner of fake tinder convos.
deadandbloated
Here's mine: http://m.imgur.com/VF9x7OY
DrDoobie
How the fuck did that work
deadandbloated
It worked deliciously
SuckAnElf
Pretty sure she's a bot
AntiquesDragon
It is. Tinder is 90% bots. One of the many reasons I quit using it. Reporting every bot you run into is tiring when it's every other match.
mordrul
Yeah... nothing about Tinder strikes me as a good idea.
silentbob625
It's great if you love the current hook-up culture. Not so great if you're bad with people.
DeckhandAdmiral
Met my gf of two years off tinder...
sueca
Currently seeing someone from Tinder. He stood out instantly, 500 matches & I've never had a conversation like that with anyone else before
catsandcheetos
I met my bf on tinder. Had to wade through a lot of shit to find each other though.
lmOIdGREEGG
it's useful for rebounds and for getting various STI's
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
Not if one protects themself, silly goose
lmOIdGREEGG
I don't do either of those things! my personality is my protextion!
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
i was just saying, just because someone uses tinder and sleeps around, doesn't mean they're going to get an STI
lmOIdGREEGG
I wasn't passing a judgement, more power to people who do! I was making a joke
redsmerf
I don't think Michael understands the meaning "pure breed" and "mutt".
behrditz
no, thats just a really really annoying "joke" that some mutt owners LOVE saying. They are usually anti-purebreed.
TheMagicalBun
I thought he meant that the parents were purebreed, so the pup was a purebreed mut?
bananerbread
There are 3 different dog types tho
MrGrayandPink
is it cat?
MrGrayandPink
what is the 3rd one?
bananerbread
German Shepard, boxer, and coon hound.
MrGrayandPink
oh right you were talking about the post I thought you were referring to dogs in general, mutt, purebreed, "3rd one"
Generalno1
I think he was joking.
JhericFury
Yeah, i assumed he was saying pure-breed mutt as in 100% mixed.
TylerLinton
Wtf is a joke
KellyanneAlternativeFacts
I believe it's pronounced "yoke"
RMDK22
I think it's a company
KellyanneAlternativeFacts
I believe it's pronounced "yoke"
MrGrayandPink
might be a soft J, so that's why I can't come to the pancake breakfast
umcats
My friend maintains a tinder just so we can get drunk and be jerks to creeps. Running theme: get guys to agree to try it in their butt.
lmOIdGREEGG
IM GOING TO DO THIS
w4nder3r
Please make a post about this!
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
Omg next time I'm doing that I'm trying that one XD
umcats
Dooooo it. And be as graphic as possible. :-D
MeatyKiwi
Curious about what defines a creep?
njaboston
If you have to ask, odds are you're one of them.
priondefolder
Cue radiohead
MeatyKiwi
Because want to know how someone else thinks I am probabilistically the thing I'm trying to understand? Great deduction Sherlock.
njaboston
That sentence is so convoluted I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say.
umcats
Two scenarios: Either they have abysmal grammar, or they are someone who opens a conversation with a lewd sexual advance.
MeatyKiwi
So someone who doesn't have an education is a creep?
umcats
There is a difference between not having an education and being too lazy to apply one. If you don't try at the beginning, you never will.
Bakersquare
My go to opening line is to ask them seemingly random questions that don't make sense. Like "If you were a planet which one would you be."
umcats
Pluto, obviously.
Bakersquare
Now that I think about it, I may be a creep.
umcats
Sigh. You brought this on yourself. *requisite butt sex comment*
howaboutthisonethen
Everyone who attempts contact but isn't attractive enough not to be labeled "romantic"
howaboutthisonethen
attractive enough to be*
umcats
Most of them are very attractive by standard definitions. However, being attractive doesn't give them carte blanche to be gross or rude.
howaboutthisonethen
I knoow, just wanted to generalise a bit. Long as you don't bait them into creeping it's fine really :)
umcats
Nah. That wouldn't be sporting. There are plenty of creeps to pick on without being jerks to nice people trying to meet someone.
BENDER01011111
You threw up on your dog? How did this happen?
doubledan
i did this drunk one night.. just came out and the dog happened to be there. the next morning was fun.
AzaellexTytalus
Ipecac.
IllNeverLetGoJackIllNeverLetGoEwADeadBody
Once I took my dog for a walk. The way the ground moved past him tripped me out for a minute and I puked on him. He ate it.
SubzeroAK
Mid blowjob of course.
Rainbowfight
She was blowing her dog?
franksfiles
Finally, someone asking the important questions!
JapaneseStudentTadashii
You must assert dominance
mormacil
See this is importent knowledge.
Barkinsons
This actually happened to me on a very drunk walk because my dog was feasting on my puke while I had to puke again, this time over the dog
f0rgt10
I am also curious for details on this. Mainly if it was a hold your dog down or just wasted off your ass scenario
WoahShocksMyBrain
I was hungover once and accidentally puked up rice and avocado all over my cocker spaniel. Shit happens.
ninmonkey
"I'm taking your keys" -- dog. "No, I'm cool bro, " --drunk human
f0rgt10
A likely scenario
PotatoIsland
My friend had a party, one guy got to drunk and puked all over her dog. She made him stay and clean it.
ScrumdiddlyumptiousBar
My friends mom did this when she had the flu. She was bending over to put the dogs leash on and the movement caused her to vomit on the dog.
WoahShocksMyBrain
I puked rice and avocado all over my cocker spaniel once hungover.
ninmonkey
Dog doesn't care, he thinks it's an early lunch.
AndNowTheWeather
probably should have titled this "I'm a dick on Tinder"
Lorithias
Not really you seems really fun :)
WhatYouMeanItAintReal
If I matched with you on tinder our combined dick powers would imploded into some dick supernova.
Pineappletrain
i would love to get a repsonse like this, never have a fun interaction on there...
suitestars
You mean you're the best on tinder.
Chasebrutal
Btw, great name.
DeckMyHalls
A funny dick. I'd tinder battle you for who's the bigger dick any day. Care for a match?
undercovercuntbitch
I need to know what you look like!
ThatGuyWithTheTopHat
How is one a lizard named Richard on Tinder?
sukarukiddo
I never get this lucky on Tinder, I only get matched with bots on it :(
iPretend
As someone who is also a dick on tinder, it's only when I run into girls like you that I start paying attention.
NerdySocialyAwkwardCollegeGirl
I loved the clawed your way up from hell line
LoudAngryJerk
*shrugs* it's funny so who cares
theSandManHasArrived
suddenly, every guy here is a dick on tinder too and they all claim to be perfect for you. Coincidence?
Toofluffles
Cool! Lizards can use Tinder now?!
gottalovewastingtime
In all honesty I've never had a tinder, but if this is how i thought most of the conversations would go, i would definitely get one...
gottalovewastingtime
P.S. you are hilarious
blamb
It's December now, do you have any openings to fill?
WouldYouLikeSomeBaileysImOldGregg
How many of these people have responded with angry retorts?
p3aker
"i'm a troll on tinder"
Drice
Tinder is actually a game in the app store so they can't complain when they get fucking played ayy m8
CatBlaster5000
Actively mind banging OP.
parishe13
But are you a dick on imgur? Or a fineapple?
jongr
yep.
TheImgurServer
Better than being a Richard
vehagn
I kinda want to see your profile for added context
yolobrolo
Niiiiiiiice
armeggedonCounselor
Well, hell, you seem awesome to me. A little bit of sarcasm goes a long way. In bed.
cgimw
I'd swipe right. It would be worth getting trolled.
redloki55
great way to make bank fake internet points by having a popular comment on your popular post! haha!
Eddwyn
"I'm a dick." FTFY
dasmause
More like "everyone but me is a dick on tinder", cause damn, some of these people have like no self awareness
freegummybears
I wish I could be as quick witted as you
frolog
and now the weather
UsernameNotVerifiedForAccuracy
Are you my friend Kathy? Because these sound like Kathy.
thatclimbingguy
Your tinder interactions have just become my favourite thing.
derpferguson
hey, it comes with the territory
ProvidesYouShittyLinks
why do you go on tinder just to fuck with people? isnt that hella unethical?
[deleted]
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czechoslovakia
Share the updates, thanks!
GoWithTheFro
))><((
LorTheMighty
Any of these lines would have worked on me.
cuzitsthere
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cuz I've got an erection.
imallergictocatsbutaddictedtoimgur
No, you're hilarious. Please post more!!
TheRealMota
This..This...THISSS!
bendeem
but if we matched, would you be a dick to me?
lifelessman
I think many of these are reasonably justified, and hilarious
probablyshouldbedoingwork
"I think it's a company" - I properly lol'd
YOUPROBABLYSAWTHISNAMEINTHECOMMENTSANDLOOKEDBECUASEITSALLCAPS
I don't get this, is there a hidden meaning where this is not just an obvious statement?
MadamPuddifoot
i lold at "i clawed my way up from hell". Perfection
fangwulf
If Alex didn't ask you out immediately for that zinger I don't know what's wrong with him.
RastaPal
yeah
Kopar
"I am a Richard on Tinder"
Boooooooooognish
A formidable opponent. I like this.
Caritien
I wish people would even talk to me on Tinder... Of even like me. Thanks for the enjoyment though :)
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Guy trolls girl on tinder: "hilarious!" Girl trolls guy on tinder: "what a bitch!"
theSandManHasArrived
from my experience and based in all these comments..I am pretty sure it works the other way. Guys are dicks girls are hilarious.
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Yeah, I agree. My comment is about Imgurs reaction to them :/
Mimsey
A) That's the opposite of how it goes. B) Tindr is a buffet for chicks, yet another series of interviews for men. [1]
Mimsey
So chicks trolling on Tindr are abusing their good fortune. Guys trolling on Tindr are mocking an unequal system. [2]
ASithInTraining
Or you should have ended your conversations with "And Now The Weather" and seen how long it took them to find your imgur. Then in ... 1/?
ASithInTraining
in your favorites there should only be posts with questions that lead them to other Imgur posts. Each of those you should leave another 2/?
ASithInTraining
comment as hint to the next part of the puzzle preferably out to Taco Bell in which you you have put the Imgur logo on a single fire 3/?
ASithInTraining
sauce that that has GPS coordinates on it that lead 5 miles out into the desert. When they get there it is just you in a 4/?
ASithInTraining
Full size Darth Vader costume and it is the day after the opening and you spoil everything for them then you steal their car and leave them.
nogoat23
Your battery life adventure was a wild ride!
disposableairman
Should use the skip card as the uno follow up. Because some people (my better half) never played, and so do not understand the hate of draw4