Daddin
327297
4048
320
Sep 28, 2015 9:14 PM
Daddin
327297
4048
320
tyface
I would fucking murder a bitch
IWillBeProctoringTheImgur
And now your printer is out of ink.
AwildaHeern50
Bunch of assholes trying to be edgy
AUsernameNotTaken
OP's office in a nutshell
?1
LazyLexiconographer
I have to be a party pooper, but as a manager I could track who printed that shit, and write you ass up for wasting resources. Id enjoy it.
gorgeousninja
But seriously stealing from people at work? Wtf.
MissRenegadeRabbit
What a bunch of cunts.
MankDemes
So....many.....DANK.MEEEMES
jeffreybaratheon
Seriously though stealing someone's lunch is one of the douchiest things you can do at an office.
SaintMaceToTheFace
I see a bunch of assholes mocking someone with a valid point
Yokuho
I'd hate to work there.
zackofspades
Real talk: don't fucking steal food.
MonserrSans2
So is ZeAngryGerman...how is that a circlejerk??
ProbablyDrunkAgain
If they worked as hard at work versus making memes, maybe they could make enough money to go out for lunch.
luukzs666luukzs
LE EPIC MEEM!!! LELELLELEL XD. you are one sad little man. Stealing in the workplace, do you really not value your job?
Homophone
I'd put breastmilk storage bags with my coffee creamer in them on top of my lunch. Nobody touched that.
SwampHobbit
Who puts a banana in the refrigerator?
1974MailMan
It's how you calibrate them for scale
ilovecake
My cheating ex did. Explains a lot.
X3NOMORPH
Bunch of assholes trying to be edgy
ThisisntJessitsJess
It's like imgur comments, but someone printed them separately and put them on a fridge.
ddswnz
I had this happen at my work, I spiked a piece of fudge with some Carolina Reaper. Needless to say I heard the thief before seeing him...
UnnHHhhhHHh
Hahah that's awesome
RageCuddles
I like that option, not dangerous like laxatives could be but enough to cause pain so you can find out who the thief is.
slack3rdav3
if people call it poisoning, put notes on your food always, and when it goes missing, actually do what the note says.
PhantomK88
I'm going to assume it's a strain of Marijuana? Am I correct?
BrokeMyFunnyBone
Good idea!
HowCanIJoinTheEvilLeagueOfEvil
What about the amount of ink spent on this? That shits expensive!
whitechocolatethunda
EVEN YOGURTS, PEOPLE. EVEN THE GOT DANG YOGURTS
FrankJ7
TERRY LOVES YOGURT
BambiSkater
Game of Thrones yoghurt? I'm not sure I wanna eat that...
RadishSaysHi
When you watch GoT so much you forget got is an actual English word
BambiSkater
I know got is an actual word, thank you very much. Read the comment I replied to. They made a typo. I made an admittedly crap joke about it.
whitechocolatethunda
That is no typo, sir. That's Hank Hill speak.
BambiSkater
Oh right. That went right over my head. I blame insomnia. Apologies dear thunda.
FWBatman
Love the way you spelled that. I even read it in a redneck voice.
Whoisbill
*people buys these.
GitToDaChoppa
they be dos
grby
They does
Eeglis
Theys dos
yourbestisanidiot
That fridge locker is getting stolen next
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nesurame
Nobody said you hafta leave the building with it.
ErikTheMostViking
Hahahaha thank you, that was my first thought
demizu
3 digits = 1000 options. if i take 3 seconds to try a combo (you can go faster) thats 3000s = 50 minutes. do a try every 1.8s = 30m.
DietCokeIsTheBest
Probably less than half a second, you only need to turn one number at a time
demizu
ive done a few. you tend to retry numbers and sometimes you miss the real combo. it can keep you busy for an hour but it wont last a day.
DietCokeIsTheBest
I'd do it 001-002-003-004....569-570-571-572 etc
demizu
that what i did, but when you dont know the lock you end up unsure if digits were aligned etc etc. a lot of things slow down your average.
SgtLemming
Those locks are trivial to defeat as well.
TheJerkNessMonster
Those "bars" are far enough apart where you could easily slip things in there... you know, embarrassing stuff.
ChuckSexylust
Not according to this infomercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYAwcT0tJx4
IdRatherBeShiny
The infomercial made this whole post.
QuestionableContent
I have one and I forgot the combination. A butter knife and a couple of minutes was all that it took.
ToastedVanilla
*Cringe*
GayburnWright
Do people old enough to work in an office setting really lack the decency that stops them from stealing someone else's meal? Fuck off.
DonnaNobleHasLeftTheLibrary
I work in an office, I've never had my food stolen but some of my friends have. I don't know who would do that or why, but it does happen.
RageCuddles
The part I find weirdest (other than theft) is that other people are gross and you have no idea of the quality of their food/food prep.
GayburnWright
If someone starts stealing my food I'm gonna rub shit into some of it. I don't care how depraved that makes me, a lesson is a fucking lesson
RageCuddles
There was a post on here about someone putting cat shit inside the newspaper that their neighbor kept stealing. Total gold.
bigeasy44
What's a Sasquatch? Did they mean samsquantch?
Katheebs
Either way, Billy Madison reference
BayazTheBenevolent
Jesus what a fucking circlejerk. Must be a terrible place to work at.
halborski
Where's the self righteous "toner waster" paper?
allahuakbar95
That would piss me off. Like oh you want to steal my food? enjoy the rediculously potent active in sub milligram doses of research chems
BrokeMyFunnyBone
Pretty sure that's illegal
cannedbat
putting legal drugs in your own food?
BrokeMyFunnyBone
With the intention of having someone else eat it, yes.
cannedbat
right but the key here is that you don't tell anyone that part
only90skidswillgetthis
Look at how many people in my office are terrible at memes
BrokeMyFunnyBone
So is ZeAngryGerman...how is that a circlejerk??
atliens27
Or just one... OP
ImAnSJW
Well this seems like a shitty place to work.
cashdash25
First thing that popped into my head.
allthenamesaregone
Working in a small team where you know someone is a thief really ruins the atmosphere. It sucks donkey balls.
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patthecat
It's called protecting the thing that will nourish you so you can keep doing your job productively. And you would fuck with that??
naera
My thoughts exactly. WHY would you think it is funny to steal someone's lunch :/
Krikr
http://imgur.com/7T7XJEO
BlackPengu
ikr? who puts bananas in the fridge?
Tyrannotron
Could just be one shitty employee.
FreshCaviar
The "if you liked it" and "it was delicious" notes have different handwriting.
Tyrannotron
OK, could be one shitty employee that steals and one that just likes adding to jokewalls.
getadogupya
One cunt who enjoys the grief he causes, by the look of it, and giving him/her attention only encourages it.
Tyrannotron
Seems likely. A real life troll.
MrPickins
Should give them the attention they crave by firing them in front of everyone.
youknowwhyimhere6969
Probably a telemarketing gig for kids fresh out of high school.
WaifuRapist
Hi my names chanic I'm just reaching out to you from your DCCC and they record, now mr derp...
SizzleSphinx
Telemericorp?
youknowwhyimhere6969
Yassss. Workaholics is my jam, jelly and peanut butter.
dauntlessmath
With a back office black market for illegal memes
CanadianMooseRider
I am not going to lie. This would be a funny place to work.
EverythingWithFries
Due to the lunch stealers, meme spouters, or both?
ImAnSJW
Both.
TGWeaver
"Seriously though, please don't steal food." "YOU MAD BRO??" Whoever posted that probably thought he was fucking hilarious and cool, too.
CallsYouATosser
Do people still slug coworkers in the parking lot for shit like that? Is that still something young people do?
ImAnSJW
Probably the kind of person who goes around saying "OMG WHY IS EVERYONE SO EASILY OFFENDED NOW???"
TheUneasyBoosh
I would just install a camera and fire whoever put up the next sign.
only90skidswillgetthis
"Aint nobody got time for that" Oh man what a zinger.
MrPickins
The irony is that they evidently had a lot of time to waste on this.
TGWeaver
Ha ha ha, remember that minority from the news? She talks different!!
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
She got Bronchitis
FreshCaviar
Yeah, I cringed more as it just kept going. This isn't "getting real." This is a bunch of assholes who think they're funny.
silnocus
Seriously. As the IT guy, if I saw that shit in our break room I would report them all for wasting printing supplies, just to make them stop
Widget88
"Hahaha, I ate your lunch dude. It was just a prank, relax! Hah, take a joke man!" ಠ_ಠ
zackofspades
Never any excuse for stealing office food, its not funny its fucking stupid.
Mentok
Ugh the lame, poorly used memes
BeardKhan
Bunch of facebook moms and edgy neckbeards thinking using memes makes them hip and hilarious and not the complete opposite.
MrChiPigg
Or just one person.
BiddlyBob
Probably just the one asshole who has been stealing said food in the first place...
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
I think SCUM should review this post
Rovylern
Dat reference game is on point!
AsianJustinFromQAF
God i am always afraid that other people think im an asshole because i kinda smetime think i am kinda funny..
Protean2648
Takes Dunning-Kruger to be that level of asshole.
IgnisAurumProbat
Well maybe kinda sometimes you're a kinda asshole? It happens, if its making someone miserable stop. Otherwise you're a total asshole.
exeHasStoppedWorking
Honestly that level of self-insight makes you way less likely of actually being an asshole
GabrielFlood
Nothing wrong with thinking you're funny. Nothing wrong with -being- funny. The line's in when one is primarily funny at others' expense.
shalpin
Take the whole locker.
JustARandomFacelessExtraInTheMovieOfYourLife
Looks like you could padlock the locker to the shelf...take the whole shelf next.
acertainjenesaisquoi
What is this, amateur hour? Take the whole fridge!
jakeinator21
Noobs. Take the whole office.
acertainjenesaisquoi
Office? You some kind of pussy? Take the whole building! (assuming the office is only part of one building)
Mindyourowndamnbusiness
You pansy, take the whole company.
myr14d
Carmen? Is that you?
remad
is this how 9/11 happend
ssrread
Just 1000 combinations, would only take 5 minutes.
feor1300
It's not about getting the banana, it's about causing wars (or something, apparently).
KravenMoarhed
I've actually done this before, thankfully the combo was in the 0800s but it takes a while longer than 5 minutes
Shamorza
I have a lock combo within that range. How long did it take to get there?
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KravenMoarhed
I was manning a water slide at the time and my chair was locked in place. Rotations were 15 minutes so I'd say it took about 13. Solid guess
myotheralt
That's when you take a screwdriver to pry the lock open. Or a dremmel.
gamer8321
Or you could just break/melt the plastic around the lock