Just the facts ma'am

Mar 7, 2015 3:15 PM

eastbayrae

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575330

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15020

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198

I love it when Imgur teaches me things

11 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

I bet they made sweet mouse love

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Today I learned , elephants are good people.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Squirrels are idiots

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

*forgets where the keys were placed 10 seconds ago*

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

How the fuck you know that cow got a best friend?

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Cows are very social. Someone found that separating cows from specific other cows in the herd stressed them out A LOT. Not just friends BFFS

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Much better than that Foul Fact Frog

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Fun fact: Mickey & Minnie's voice actors admitted to using the voices when making love:

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

That penguin is more accomplished than me.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That penguin is probably more accomplished than most people.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The phrasing of the last one somehow makes it seem like equality is a major problem. Or is it just me?

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

You read it correctly.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Oh yeah, should be "inequality" as the problem that's getting better.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I had a masai tribe visit my school once. They have form of dance that is jumping and they are very good at it

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

To the front page with you and your heartwarming bull

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I really hope the U.S. Accepted the blessed cows for some reason. It's the little things that count.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The Masai one is worth explaining. The Masai people don't have a monitary system of wealth, they are instead measured in wealth by...

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Their number of children and cows. Cows are one of the most important resources to the Masai, they did more than give their wealth...

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That particular tribe was willing to make a very important sacrifice for us.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Even the unicorn is like. "Really, Scotland?"

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I believe it was given to them by the English to represent their imaginary claim to the throne

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 9

The unicorn in celtic mythology pre-dates England as a country. Celts celebrated it for a long time before it was on the coat of arms.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

To be fair though, dolphins have also been known to violently rape.

11 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 3

So have people.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

And as a species, I'd say humans kinda suck too.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Suck whether they want to or not.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

[citation needed]

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Am Scottish, can confirm on unicorn.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Apparently a lot of countries have mythical animals as the national animal: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_national_animals

11 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

that was a cool read, thank you

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Who says they are mythical - you should holiday in Scotland and check for yourself - Haggis breeding season is August, and the best weather

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Only kidding - the weather is awful all year round

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

The penguin knighted by Norway is a resident at Edinburgh Zoo and they parade nearly every day.

11 years ago | Likes 171 Dislikes 1

I was a Norwegian royal guard, there is a statue of that penguin in our military camp.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What is the story behind that penguin?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's his descendants, at this stage. The original I believe may have passed away some time ago?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Yeah but he's still technically Nils Olav, he "lives on" in his descendant :)

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nils Olav II!

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I think you mean Colonel-in-Chief Sir Nils Olav... He earned the title after all.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I'm having a hard time believing many of these...

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 21

The penguin thing is real or atleast the knighting part i dont know about the parade

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Live in Edinburgh. Can confirm penguin parade!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Last time I went it wasn't on because they were renovating. It made me sad.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The penguin one is definitely true.

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Me too but I researched the ones I didn't believe, it seems checks out.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Mr. Stubbs has been a successful mayor despite his efforts to use all of the town's resources to fund Mice Town.

11 years ago | Likes 450 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 0

Mice Town Costs Mice Clown His Town Crown?

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

This is my first log in for a very long time and it's the result of the best reference I've seen in months.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

He gets high on catnip-water

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This. This is an amazing reference.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

when no human would do we believed in cat. cat has not done us dirty yet.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Mr. Jingles is there.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is this a Fievel reference?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

Omg! I call my roommate smashley cause she's a ho!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

11 years ago (deleted Jan 6, 2019 3:54 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

You sir are wrong on both accounts.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was there when Ice Town opened.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Cuddling my cat releases nothing but fuckoffatosin on her part

11 years ago | Likes 730 Dislikes 3

You're at 666 points, I can't bring myself to upvote

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Get a better pet.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

well you are still alvie arent you? something must be working

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Man, I really should not breath out of my nouse with my mouth stuffed with cereal...

11 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 1

Nouse!

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

I laughed out loud

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

The only thing my roommate's cat does is piss and puke everywhere! Dogs4Life!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

things* (sorry I'm drinking)

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

cats are assholes...

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's why there is a dog in the photograph :)

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 5

Ah.. Dogs ... the pet for people so mediocre that need something to congratulate them for jack shit.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

That explains Winston Churchill having a dog

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

His dog probably didn't laugh ... or cheer ... or do anything other than some and drink while sleeping ... underwater.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You make me laughed really hard :)

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But they purrrrrr

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Only when they are eating my headphone cables running cost 5 headphones and £400

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

:(

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

for my cat it releases snuggatosin.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't put much stock in what the image said, it's nonsense. Oxytocin is the chemical responsible for *milk excretion* in mammals.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 14

Dogs and cats have hairs around the nipples that trigger oxytocin release. Dopamine is involved in pattern matching, and reward-seeking.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 6

And it's debatable whether it has anything to do with happiness, or satisfaction.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

It also increases the feeling of trust, not love & it can cure headaches via skin-to-skin contact

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did you actually read the article you linked?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 14

"... For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the "bonding hormone.'"

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, it briefly mentions milk then goes onto mention everything else. Did you only read one sentence?

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Did you? It explicitly states that it is an intimacy hormone, important in mammal because of breastfeeding and the parent/child bond formed.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Good Guy Small Brained Squirrel.

11 years ago | Likes 238 Dislikes 1

Although they have the highest brain to mass ratio among animals.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 14

lol nowhere close, they have an EQ of 1.1. In comparison dogs are 1.2, elephants are 1.3, chimps are 2.5, and we're 7.8

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If only they could figure out which side of the street they want to be on

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

What if they have a very sophisticated understanding of long-term investments?

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

WHAT IF SQUIRRELS IS SMART AS FUCK N DEY DOIN IT TO SAVE DA EARTH LOL IDK ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Why isn't it possible to favorite comments!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dolphins also gangrape their females and kill their babies and play with the corpses.

11 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 5

And they are known to take humanize manniquins down and rape them until they break apart in rape caves.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Who among us hasn't had a "bad" night?

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Sounds like my kind of people!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We have plenty of evidence for that-- unfortunately not so much for the "they protect people" myth

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Didn't Mythbusters show that the outline of a bottlenose dolphin causes a great white to leave the area?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thought this would come up. 1) Not a robust test. 2) Predators not sharing the same space at one is not the same as "protecting a surfer"

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No but I would personally make the corollary of 'I saw a dolphin and shark left the dolphin protected me', and Dolphins don't EAT humans..

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sure. And that would be a nice story, not science. Same with all the other "dolphin scares shark to save man" folktales.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're a lot like people. Capable of astounding altruism and horrifying violence.

11 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

This, exactly. With intelligence comes the capacity for kindness as well as harm.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Way to remind me I'm on the Internet

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I really could have gone without that little tid bit of info 0_o

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Sharks bite each other to initiate sex. It's so rough sometimes it turns into a legitimate attack. They're total dicks too!

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

A lot of female sea otter deaths is from rough sex. And when they can't get to a female the otter will use juvinelle male seals.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Soo.. your place or mine? Sorry if I was a little rough with the biting there. Linda? Oh shit... your head's off"

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Thank you for the laugh. Now I must remove Pepsi from my monitor and keyboard.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

squirrels -> lose nuts -> trees grow -> oxygen -> we breath better because of squirrels

11 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 2

Squirrels lose nuts; you are not going to believe what happens next

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Linemen hate him! Learn more about this (1) weird trick

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Losing our nuts = life

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

more trees -> more squirrels -> even more squirrels -> overabundance of squirrel farts causes accelerated global warming -> everything dies

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

SQUIRREL ARMY!!!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

More trees -> More ents -> Greater chance of ent attacks -> Less orcs -> Less super awesome orc battles -> squirrels ruin all the fun

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Less Orcs -> Lower manpower for the armies of evil -> Easier time for the good guys -> Victory. Thanks Squirrels.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Imagine lord of the rings online during peace time! It would just be a "life without indoor pluming" simulator!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They also are increasing their food source which is cool

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

SCIENCE!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What did that penguin do?

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Exactly the question I came to ask, too!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Moved to Edinburgh zoo and looked down on the other penguins

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Yes, I must know more about this penguin's bravery!

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I don't give a shit about humans, I want an elephant to mourn me when I die.

11 years ago | Likes 154 Dislikes 2

Don't worry, I'm sure your mom will be sad.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They are magnificent creatures & we are nothing but a bunch of fucktards for letting them being endangered by our own species.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I got so bummed out thinking about the second that elephant found his dead friend

11 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 0

Tarra lives over at the Elephant Santuary in Tennessee. She still goes to visit Bella's grave, but is comforted by her ele friends.

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Thats amazing! Im close enough to pay Tara a visit. Google here i come!!

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Blind people can smile because its a reflex.

11 years ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 5

IIRC, they also gesture with their hands while talking.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think it was just a commentary on nature vs nurture, showing that smiling is an example of nature.

11 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

Hah! Evolution suckers!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The more interesting fact: blind people have similar smiles to their parents, showing that facial expressions are more genetic than learned.

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

bc smiling is a muscular reflex, am I guessing right?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Will use this for drawing.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm American, and what I have to say is this.... the Masai, are fucking awesome. Seen other stuff on the tribe, mindblowingly awesome.

11 years ago | Likes 1442 Dislikes 14

Those cows were give the honor of being made into chipotle steak

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

When I went to Tanzania they were the nicest people I met. Well, mostly everyone I met were nice but they stick out in my mind.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There was a children's book written about the cows...I believe called "14 Cows for America".

11 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

The men have to kill a lion with nothing but a spear as a right of passage. So freaking bad ass.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I KNOW RIGHT?? They actually don't though anymore, the practice was abolished due to the severity of it, At least that's what I read.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It was just really nice of them, right? SO NICE.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I remember that being a part of an article in the NY Times that year. It was pretty cool to see people helping us, it's usually vice versa.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

they really are. my husband was able to meet them once, and they seem like an amazing group of individuals.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also, as a fraction of GDP those Masai gave more relief than any formal state for that tragedy.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Well, I would disagree. Girls are forced to marry after circumcision at 11-13. Women are expected to do all the work in the community, etc.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Still they do not have any power in decision-making. There's a lot of references out there. Check out the BBC documentary Tribal Wives.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had the opportunity to visit the Masai on two mission trips by a local church. We helped spiff up a place that houses mistreated girls.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I lived in Kenya for two years. Every time I ran into the Maasai they gave me gifts because I was a visitor to the country.

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Your username made me smile

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I lived with them and learned so much. I've never grown so much as a person.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Nope. They still ACTIVELY practice female genital mutilation. Nope, nope, nope.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 5

Omg get over it weirdo

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 10

The ones I lived with did not. :)

11 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Is it true that the uncut females are not able to marry or be accepted as adult members of their society?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Depends on the group. The Massai are a huge and diverse people group.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm curious, did we take the cows? And if so what did we do with them?

11 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 0

They went to the blessed McDonald's where they became blessed Big Macs

11 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 54

Sucks that people downvote double comments even though they know you didn't do it on purpose.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

As I recall the US was concerned that they may have diseases that could be devastating to domestic cow herds. Instead of bringing the cattle

11 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 0

To the US they asked the Masai to watch over and care for them. I read a book about it once. The book was quite moving.

11 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 0

That is a good example of diplomacy.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would expect US giving them 14 cows as a compensation for their kind generosity

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

What book? If you don't mind sharing.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

They went to the blessed McDonald's where they became blessed Big Macs

11 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 56

Hel,l I thought it was funny. Lighten up folks.

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 5

Thanks nigga

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Imgur is no place for laughter.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

You know that that Masi tribe offered what was a huge amount for them. I'm actually genuinely touched.

11 years ago | Likes 482 Dislikes 3

Cows in Africa are seen as almost priceless. A gift like that carries a great weight of respect for the recipient.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In case you'd like to know more about the cattle gift: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/5339460.stm

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Thank you.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

A children's book was written about it.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I hope the US responded in a equally generous way.

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

YES, THE US PROMISED TO NOT INVADE THEM EVEN IF OIL WAS FOUND ON THEIR LAND.

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 6

WE ARE THE BEST COUNTRY EVAR!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Your name was so relevant. Also your comment made me chuckle, have your +1.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

"...the gift of a cow is regarded as among the most precious one can receive from a Maasai, ranking alongside a child or grazing land."

11 years ago | Likes 131 Dislikes 0

A child means an extra set of hands.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

...ranking alongside A CHILD... You were so close Masai tribe, so close.

11 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 4

Rather. I mean a cow gives milk and much much more meat then a child. Plus they're cuter. They're worth at least three children.

11 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 1

But the meat of a child tastes much better.

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Well, nothing beats a steak, but childmeat is something special.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lol this guy.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0