yestotoast
489286
10636
232
Before he gets here
When he's outside my door
Me cooking
Me when i open the door
UPDATE:
I got sex!! He just left my apartment.
It was goooooood
ZayCastellanos
I can verify this also works as a male expecting another male
dinger1992
When a girl is going to come over you've never seen a guy clean so fast.
CuriousSkor
I miss IT Crowd.
charlesengine
+1 for Richmond
josefabdon
As a man, I didn't know women did this too.
bstrdchild
only in my underwear, then I hear the doorbell (shit!)
torpedoface
wait a minute. is noel fielding in the IT crowd?
wastedintellect
I do the same and I'm a guy, except I cook well normally. The normal state of my room is an absolute mess.
Mheyrune
Congrats on the sex.
TheHorseWithNoNameInTheDesert
As a male: I never knew! Thanks for caring :)
dubstepfacekid
Your username makes me can't even
ManyOfThemManyMuchMoosen
As a clean freak, this doesn't happen to me, because I never have guys over.
AllTheGoodUsernamesWereTaken
MR as a male when a girl is coming over
red1990
+1 for IT crowd! :)
ThisYes
I did not know you did this. Thats very kind of you. But at some point you shouldnt worry so much
JingleSquirrel
This is more like me when my overly critical, OCD mother calls and says she's stopping by for a surprise visit.
ThatEngineer
Am I the only person who keeps my place tidy? It prevents you from losing things and helps you get out the door in the morning quicker. 1/2
AlmightyBlah
I'm a pretty tidy person myself. My fiance, however...? Let's just say it's good practice for when we have children. D=
CatrionaShadowleaf
Tidy is not "company's coming" clean.
ThatEngineer
Which means I can sleep in a bit later. It's all about being lazy over all. 2/2
Raecracy123abc
Yes
darkdrakkan
ahhh the I T crowd loved that show
FIREexclamationmarkFIREexclamationmark
Me too man, me too.
ohthatsjustgreat
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1413066919142.webm
HemelInstead
Soooo long, and just as I was closing it, glimpsed the event.
undercoverscientist
I watched till the end.
NewUsernameAlreadyTaken
Obligatory mobile user hard time
Sammyv17
Are you on your mobile network? You should use wifi.
idontwannachat
My wife when we try to have grownup dinner parties.
Astrophrial
This whole thing is me when my boyfriend's parents are coming over to visit us. Meanwhile he doesn't care what the place looks like.
acuriousfish
Oh you too eh, I'm like do i really need to move the fridge and clean under it? Of course you do we have dinner guests coming hunny
royandmossladyproblems
My husband's contribution when I do this, "Honey! I pooped AND flushed the loo! Aren't I so helpful?!"
vaginaengineer
Hahah and here I was thinking this is me when my boyfriend and I have grown up dinner parties.
votress
and whenever the in-laws come over. especially for me since they own our house
BertramWooster
And as vigorously as we clean our place, we scrub/wax/shave/pluck etc or bodies even more so
Churts
Well, I for one appreciate it.
RipplingPhantom
once, a friend caught me with only one contact lense on and wearing house-clothing (shorts and spaghetti straps)
RAAAAAAAWR
My friend with (some) benefits left for the week. Guess who's not shaving!
RAAAAAAAWR
Guys, this is honestly my comment with the most points..
73isthebestPRIMEnumber
I'll upvote this because I know the mobile users are gonna give you a hard time OP.
Raecracy123abc
I'm an iPad user and it worked better before the "new and improved" update
Watchoutitsaflyingcatcactus
I don't understand. I'm a mobile user and it always works perfectly fine for me...
ginandtonic94
"Sorry, my apartment is a mess. Didn't get a chance to clean it up." Only spent hours cleaning like a madwoman.
lacole725
As a male, this is what I'll be doing tomorrow and Monday for a date when she says she is bringing pajamas and extra clothes.
NerfherderVC
They gon frick
floydspiritz
Sammyv17
MP4.
ILieForPoints
This gif.mp4 is terrifying in both content AND format
[deleted]
[deleted]
gooseduckbutt
Well you see LudwigsCat, when two adults find each other attractive, they bang. And then they want to be sleep after, and be comfy.
lacole725
Her words, not mine. I told her she wouldn't need them.
lunaisbestprincess
You shut up, PJs are freaking comfy.
ILieForPoints
Giggity.
Squossifrage
The first couple of times. After that, your standards start to slip and soon you won't even care if your underwear is lying on the floor.
SadPandaneedsaHug
Probably because by then if you and him are lucky he's the one putting them there.
sumowoman
This depiction is absolutely correct. And: "No, no, I didn't clean up that much, just tidied up a little. Not a trouble at all". LIES.
Deadpo0l
http://imgur.com/PZDCnIT
porkiloki
Oh a guy is coming over? Better block out the 3 hours beforehand to CLEAN ALL STUFFS.
Imgurgle
Tidy up for hours, then carefully place stuff around the house to make it look like you just nonchalantly threw it there.
Corrodias
Lies are the foundation of a strong relationship. Wait. No. What's the opposite of that?
DoctorCatDog
This is the most accurate depiction of my life in gifs I have ever seen. Except it's like this when parents and non-bffs are coming over too
IAmYourGodNow
Me, internally: "Man I don't know why she puts all this effort into keeping shit so neat. Who cares?"
Wariyoshi
Do you just let it be messy when females come over? :P
eemitte
My favorite, sorry the house is such a mess... after you just spent an hour of frantic cleaning.
lefreak
"My house is a mess. Sorry about that."
ManyOfThemManyMuchMoosen
As a clean freak, this doesn't happen to me, because I never have guys over.
sumowoman
Yeah, those dirty, dirty guys. Jk! I know what you mean :)
ManyOfThemManyMuchMoosen
Lol well, you're not wrong
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
Dont forget to apologize for the mess. And by mess, i mean that magazine that isnt parrallel to the edge of the coffee table.
DoctorCatDog
I say that as a cya just in case I completely missed something in my frantic cleaning frenzy. Like dishes. Or cat hair. Usually cat hair.
SpoonOfDoom
If it's not anybody very special, I tidy up enough enough that I can excuse the rest with "sorry for the mess, had no time for cleaning".
SpoonOfDoom
Because even that takes ages sometimes.
Suppatown
Hahahaha I'm in tears laughing at this.
illogicalphallusies
next time you hear that ask them to point out the mess(unless there is an obviously dirty corner or something)
TheOneEyedGod
Blaspheme! My magazines are always parallel to the coffee table.
starkart
I have no coffee table
illogicalphallusies
make sure you follow up asking to point out the mess with "because this house is clean...i see no mess!" or they'll think you're rude
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
I always say it's okay but to not do it again.
press1forenglish
My thoughts as a male "did i brush my teeth"?
[deleted]
[deleted]
CatsAndNinjas
My husband once confessed he never showered before a date with me, he only put on more deodorant.
nym23
Did I wash my balls...you know, in case of unexpected BJ.
ogThrax
No..oh well
nillathunder
Is my fly open?
Imaybegotthis
"Are these close nice enough? What does nice even mean?"
hanziou
Clothes ?
Imaybegotthis
Yeah...
thegreatbrandinocirca1984
"did I manscape enough?"
Isometimesupvotereposts
"is my shirt inside out/have visible stains?"
BarkLikeATree
"Did I sweat too much on my way over? Will my balls smell?"
Itsnotminehonest
This everytime.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
"Quick, squeeze this fart out before you get inside"
derpnirvana
"Are my pants zipped?"
KingsguardLannister
"Am I wearing pants?!"
SinceTheIncident
"Did I wash my balls?"
EverGrinningBear
If you didnt wash your balls then you better
MaddMind
I have literally gone into a girls bathroom and washed my junk in her sink cuz I found out I was getting some later. >.<
waela
I can beat this.
BradleyCooper123456789
Baby wipes in the car bros. always. You can take a full shower with those fuckers. They wont wipe off the herpes though.
TownsendV228
I would do the exact same thing if ever required.
HeyThatsMyFetish
I call Bullshit. Nobody cleans a place faster than a guy who has a girl coming over that he likes.
crackedatlas
TIL: I don't actually like any of the women in my life.
giraffealope
4 years a janitor and taught myself how to cook. It's game time when the ladies are coming.
Aelinsaar
^This. Run the dishwasher that I've left full, take out any stinky trash, pick up shit, CHECK THE BATHROOM...
rubbarz
The closet is a wonderful place for times like these. (No homo)
Imaybegotthis
Not cleaning. Hiding a mess.
RoomTemperatureCoffee
In my experience, guys' college dorm rooms at least are usually more orderly and clean than girls'
OmegaTengu
Nah mate, you have not met a man who truly does not care about how he looks to others. And as a man with many white shirts, I am such a man.
notme222
That's true, except he still doesn't really know how. So it's a lot of stuff shoved in closets and Lysol sprayed everywhere.
jdlsharkman
EVERYWHERE.
aguyuno
As opposed to women? Girls may vacuum better, but they bathrooms stink like a MOTHERFUCKER.
sowaitwhatdidyousaytome
Noooo some us know how to clean.. Decently... Semi-decently..... Ish..
IChangedMyNameForThis
That's all that cleaning entails to me so I see no problem. I go above and beyond with an air freshener though.
CanadianThemedName
As someone with a scent allergy, I skip the Lysol step and just open a window 12 hours prior. It sucked last winter.
AirlineGeek
Yeah, but if you succeeded, something else was probably sucked last winter, too, eh? ...I'll show myself out...
CanadianThemedName
Last winter, no. That was a pretty bad luck time for me.
Nimbles
As a woman, isn't this how you clean?
Berethian
You. I like you. We can run away and live somewhere with lots of closet space and whatever Lysol is.
Nimbles
Or go one step further, like someone in the comments mentioned. Open the windows for fresh air. Skip the Lysol all together! Let's do it!
RosesAreRedMyBedIsGreenIWantYouInItIfYouKnowWhatIMean
"Did I shave my balls?"
laestrella
For me it's trying to shave my bits and pieces is what takes forever. Not sure how to make that into a montage.
silversatyr
Lawnmowers and deforestation. ;p
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
Please try.
igotyoback
Cant shave me bits due to irritation. Have to get a wax, no spontaneous hairless sex for me!
MaybeCatsOperatingInGangs
I did exactly that for Friday (planned sponteneity...) and nearly wept when i found my friend's shaving anti-irritation cream. :D
Corvie
Lol this is so true
MentallyChill
Even rocky had a montage
Legislation
I do love vaginas
squibble
It's checking the time and feeling you have all the time in the world. Use most time fixing your shampoo Mohawk. Finally start shaving (1/2)
squibble
Finish one leg, nice and smooth. Check the time again, you only have 15 min to shave the rest of your body now D:
Estesark
If you send me a video I'll help you turn it into a montage.
JamEngulfer
Was that intentionally creepy or did it just turn out that way?
5Fingers
Yes, there is a distinct lack of shaving happening.
nikapups
Oh yeah don't mind my PERFECTLY SHAVEN VAGINA THATS MAGICALLY THIS SMOOTH ALL THE TIME
hartmonica
HAHAHAH I'd love to see that montage
phatdoge
I'm intrigued. It appears easy. Depending on the bit or piece referred to, I suppose. What's difficult?
5Fingers
Dude, you have no idea.
bombadil92
HOW does it appear easy?
phatdoge
When I've seen it done, they said it was challenging, but it didn't take very long and there was nothing to get in the way, like balls.
bombadil92
No just folds and sensitive skin. It takes me forever and I've been doing it for 8 years.
MothafuckinPancakes
Haha are you kidding me? (not trying to be insulting... just bitter :P ) It's a crazy difficult angle to reach without a) cutting yourself >
phatdoge
When I've seen it done, they said it was a challenge, but made it look easy. I'll take your word for it though.
MothafuckinPancakes
Heh, maybe I don't have enough practice. Long distance relationships and that. Maybe I'll be good at being a woman one day! :'D
MothafuckinPancakes
TLDR: If she does it, you appreciate the shit out of it.
MothafuckinPancakes
> because you can't see properly, b) doing your back in somehow or c) getting it really uneven because the skin is too soft and moves about.
laestrella
Trying to make sure you shave all of the hair away and not shave off your flaps.It involves tucking and lifting my legs up and shaving from
phatdoge
Huh. Never realized.
laestrella
different angles. It takes longer to shave if your lawn isn't as trimmed as it should be.
thelonepig
Squat. And fold both legs behind your head, and hold yourself up on one hand, and shave with your free hand. In a mirrored bathtub. Simple!
Imghurrr
hm.. how do you squat with both legs behind your head.. lolz
chbarts
By all means don't shave off your flap-flaps. They're majestic.
laestrella
That is true, I need them bits!
Twenty3Skidoo
You actually shave your lips!? Jesus, I trim the bush and leave it at that. A razor ain't got no business in MY downtown!
laestrella
Yup I shave as much as I can. The rest I have to trim.
waela
Try doing it 9 months pregnant...
laestrella
I cannot even imagine how difficult that must be.
spaghettifacebang
That hits home. It's harder than shitting out a baby.
TownsendV228
+1 for "shitting out a baby"
yestotoast
He's here very soon and i'm tipsy.
TK421isAFK
I'm thinking the imminent sex will make him overlook the condition of your house.
metalfan1986
Get off imgur. Apparently you have a lot of work to do
GalaxyHigh
nice.
toastyy1990
Hey.
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
As a Scandophile and bird behaviour biologist, that's the hottest profile description I've ever seen. ᴬᶰᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ⁻ ᴵ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᶦᵗ⋅
yestotoast
thank you :)
Kenziesrus
I feel like being tipsy is a requirement for a first time in the apartment date. Like classy "is she actually tipsy" tipsy
TheGhostInTheMachine
Bender is mtye favorite mueppet and im a tad drunk so its sbetter
ThisYes
Noice. You got dis. he better appreciate everything about you!!!!
dangerbrennan
Anal
yestotoast
never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dangerbrennan
Just the tip?
fudgepuppyorangecake
Post update?
thegr8rambino
uh oh
tarataqa
pro tip: all men care about is the sex part.
squibble
Order take out :D
tooomanysteves
Conrats on the sex!
Cassiraa
Gratz on the sex!
InstanitySpark
If you are doing this, please remove the male briefs from the first gif, or it will be awkward :)
kulahan
If you're worried about whether or not you'll get sex, take off your shirt. It works 100% of the time.
yestotoast
i got sex..
wronggengirl
HOORAY! You're doing exactly what I would do!
Rainbowfight
I always have to drink a bit before a date. It helps me get more comfortable.
yestotoast
i got drunk
Rainbowfight
comfort level: EXTREME
ParaBailarLaBamba
I just asked a guy over and he rejected me :(
yestotoast
that motherfucker
ParaBailarLaBamba
Hahaha, thank you, you made me smile :) Until next time, OP!
Kind1234
I wish some lady wanted to have me come over...
yestotoast
Some lady do... You just don't know it. As i don't know a man really wants me.
Kind1234
It says you live in Denmark... How's Lego land?
yestotoast
Legoland i funny! Awesome!
Kind1234
My friend just moved to Copenhagen and he takes his kids there. He also got really drunk there once...
jmfs
enjoy the sex OP
yestotoast
i did
namerelevanttocomment
update!
jmfs
sealedHuman
pcardinal42
You invited him over as long as your place isn't a st pig pen he won't care
yestotoast
It IS a pig pen ;)
pcardinal42
Then you are disgusting and should be ashamed!
yestotoast
I am. Why do you think i was cleaning my apartment?
vaginaengineer
Eat some toast. All problems solved.
ceeteedee
Enjoy a nice Toast Sandwitch, even!
insidiousmouse
If it's a toast sandwich, shouldn't the center be the toast? You don't put the bread in the center of a roast beef sandwich, do you? DO YOU?
notouchingNOTOUCHINGnotouchingNOTOUCHING
A point, you have.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
I need more friends like you in my life
vaginaengineer
:) better yet, spaghetti sandwich? eat all the carbs.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
You speak my language
vaginaengineer
I figured, the word spaghetti is in your username three times.
Daddy3Leggs
Me too! Friennd??
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Yaaas
tarataqa
sorry, not you.
Daddy3Leggs
me, forever alone!