stumpalupagous
185064
12089
127
Apr 15, 2016 10:15 PM
stumpalupagous
185064
12089
127
NorwegianLoveHammer
FINISH HIM!!
Copdecella
That beautiful moment when the sweet innocence is about to get broken into little tiny pieces
Kind0ne
inferno34
He gonna learn today - alright alright alriiiiight
joelasko
"Son, have I ever told you about the Kobayashi Maru?"
AnIntimateGatheringOfCrocodiles
But you can't end on a special card
Tacticalassaultbacon
You bad, bad person. +1
ducksinarow
My niece and nephew fuckin' destroy me at Uno...
Feldrick
"Why are you taking a picture of your hand, dad?"
MaverickSawyer
Plot twist... Kid has one more draw card in his hand than OP... and the chain rule is in effect.
GoldberrySassdaughter
My brother once challenged my dad to a game... After memorising the order of the deck. He knew every card my dad had
chunkeesalsa
TIL OP is a damn cheater
smashpro1
Wreck his whole life, then fuck his mother.
PhuckKnuckles
Imgur usually down votes child abuse...
kishinlemming
I see you're playing without the rule 'last card not a function card'.
Fafnoir
Honestly I'd never heard of that rule until the comments here. Why is that a thing?
kishinlemming
To make it infuriating for even those with good cards.
Crushing76
OP face while he destroys his son's hopes http://s1.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/kobe-bryant-memes.jpg
AFrustratedRetailStafffMember
underrated post
Meliruth
Show no mercy...
90sHippocampus
This is exactly the kind of thing that makes Hitlers.
Musubi626
Him in 15 years
chunkytoes
I'm loving the rise in it crowd
SanguinePaladin1280
This deserves top comment
ARandomStranger2020
more like:
Greekos1
"Dad why are you taking a picture of your cards?" Dad:"cuz today you become a mortal."
stayawesomegotham
*immortal
slamnfreak
In the words of the Green Goblin, "Follow the cold shiver running down your spine..."
OliverKlozoff1269
You can't go out on a wild. Read the rules.
muhvitus
You really think that matters much in that situation?
VulcanP90
I've played official UNO video games and you can.
ThisWasATriumph
Official. Uno. Video games.
VulcanP90
They're on the xbox... Don't blame me.
bananaranga
yes you can
Jayhatesspidersandshit
House rules mother fucker
almightystef
YOU GON' LEARN TODAY!
FloridaMansSideKick
I'M GON' LEARN YA NOW, SON!
DoctorPutin
It's time your learned what it means to be a man
OneManRiot
Alright alright alriiiight!
Wereheretomakeyusmile
BOYYYY
MatWud
L-O- DICK
tiagomnf
DIS LONG DICK
goosetractor
NIGGA WE GON' LEARN SHAPES
pyronyzen
c-can we learn about lexigrams daddy?
AntonioStark
SAY IT WIT'CHO CHEST
OhMyGodChandluhBing
L'IL NIGGA *beats his chest*
ChrisTheGopher
I'd like a peeled muffin cap back blue...
westwingturbos
GON' GO NITE NITE NIGGA!
Cheifnoble
Reminded me of this hard taught lesson https://youtu.be/9m6ectb23PA
agrace369
Oh, my sweet summer child...
Therearetoomanyusernames
PEEL THIS MOTHER FUCKER'S MUFFIN CAP BACK BLUE!!
ToThePain
Is that a drink?
Therearetoomanyusernames
I think that's a drink. Lemme get a Peel His Muffin Cap Back Blue....SAY IT WIT'CHO CHEST!! *sticks out chest* Lemme get a Peel His Muff...
SeniorChief214
TONIGHT NIGGA!
MathiasTolerain
At this point I might just lay the cards down and be like "Let's reshuffle and play fairly. Life won't always, but I love you, so I will."
KlutzyZ
Hey Everybody! Lets point and laugh at the guy whose parents loved him and is socially well adjusted, jk.
madetheaccountjustforyou
... like, a participation trophy of a win. Pathetic.
MathiasTolerain
Never breed. If you don't understand that the point is just to spend time with your kids... Then please. Do us all a favor and don't.
MathiasTolerain
And you really care about pummeling some poor kid at a game of uno. I'm not the pathetic one here.
dattrowawaydoe
"This is what we call getting 'REKT', son."
FaceplantingCat
Yea I then get eREKT and stick it in some chicks REKTum
Reakkor
Now hand up, stop crying, this is what we call a high five.
OneManRiot
(If your kid) Make him cry then go bang his mom. It would be weird otherwise
alwaysupvoteyellingbird
If I ever have a kid I'll get really good in a shooter and then shit talk them
bachterman
you mofo.
JackOfAllTradesMasterOfBaters
Making him cry cause you're banging his mom works as well
ALoneTenno
Making him cry by banging his mom when you aren't his dad works too.
iamjman
Make him cry while banging his mom in the same room while making eye contact. Establish dominance.
FFelix911
Make him bang his mom then go cry ?
ihaveweirdfetishes
Instructions unclear; gave everyone terrible trauma
leapinglizard
Sounds like you followed them to the letter.
nintendoe71
You can't end on a wild.congratulations!you played yourself.
Urdok
At least in Nordic versions you can't end in 4 wild, wild, 2+ color, skip turn or turn around.
smashpro1
I don't know what you're talking about. The Xbox version even has an achievement for going out on a wild.
LarryLeidermann
can you pretend you don't have a playable card and draw?
nintendoe71
Yeah if your names chester.
Mistruths
Orly? Since when?
roxXorBot
lmao DJ Kahled joke, +1
roxXorBot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dBVsCe2fM
TheRagingGamer3
Never played like that. Never seen anyone play like that. Never heard anyone play like that. Could you please explain why you can't do that?
distances
That's how we always play. Apparently that's a house rule though. I think it makes the game more interesting, as last play isn't guaranteed
TheRagingGamer3
Never mind, just googled the rules of Uno, and you're close, but not entirely correct. You can't end on a draw four wild, 1/2
TheRagingGamer3
but a normal wild is fine. Also, if you run out of cards after playing a draw 4 wild, you don't lose instantly. 2/3
TheRagingGamer3
All other players have a chance of making you draw more cards. If all are unable to do so, then you win. 3/3
emeow
You're my hero, I'm writing this down for my next drunk game so I can finally prove my friends wrong!
MvdVeen
What the shit, my whole life I've been wrong.
TheoLu
When your dad decides it's about time he starts being just "dad" and not "my best friend, who is also my dad".
ElectricTickles
This shits so real it hurts
TheDrunkNinja
When your dad decides to stop the card game known for players dicking each other over to take a picture of his hand.
strouda56
Nah, I believe that involves Monopoly...
BeastMode021
When we played tennis, he used to play full strength during matches. Now He's older and I use spin n drop shots in my game. Oh the anger lol
BeastMode021
He's also started bugging me to take him for ice cream. Oh how the tables have turned
pIanetarysociety
The jokes on him, the kid has a hand full of skip cards
tendthekine
my dad used to always crush me in chess as a kid. I've never beaten him in my life.
TiaaCole
Harshhhh
sluttyburrito
I believe I missed the having a "dad" part
Thefluffernutter
Well I'll be your dad now. I'm 21 and a woman but I think I'll have it under control.
InsertCleverandOriginalUsernameHere
My dad hated me until I was like 6
degenerator
The therapist will discover that this was the juncture at which trust issues started.
ISmellManFlesh
Mum and dad are two of my best friends, until we play monopoly or my mum finds out I'm not feeding myself properly.
inneuandos
Chess was the worst for me. Dear Lord my dad would just destroy me, one pawn at a time.
Nucas
monopoly was invented by a Quaker to show children the soul crushing grind and inevitable inequality inherent in capitalism. works great.
Tacotuesdayonawednesday
No one has ever beaten my dad at monopoly, family, friends, anyone. Or at least for the past 20 years.
RavennaMagnus
I remember the first time I played monopoly against my father, aged 8 or so. Dear lord I have never been punished as badly as that.
ISmellManFlesh
Oh god yes, that memory is ingrained. The joy of a new board game, the confusion, the fear, the rage.
RavennaMagnus
Since then, my mother, relatives, friends of father have told me he is the best at monopoly they've ever seen. Apparently it's not just luck
ISmellManFlesh
Hahaha, no no it's sheer brutality. Yeah there's this rule in our family now, no one will play monopoly with my dad.
RavennaMagnus
Also I continued the cycle a couple of years ago laying a smackdown on my sister & my SO. There were tears. Both were (and still are) adults
mrfuzzynuggets
I will never not be my son's best friend. He's a cool little dude and I can't wait to see what he does in life.
Thefluffernutter
My parents became my best friends after the shitty teenage years. Now I'm just petrified of disappointing them.
TheoLu
If you're into doing mechanical stuff, don't expect of him to help you carry heavy car/bike parts before he's good and ready. Just sayin'.
Platform221BtheShireofAsgard
Only child here, my parents are still more like best friends that I'm afraid of disappointing.
wwtwo
My dad always told me "I'm not your friend, I'm your dad" always respected him for that
SpacemanSpiff1000
As a father I feel the same way. My child has many friends she doesnt need another one. What she needs is a father figure to learn from.
Cipollino
Curious question : are you German ? I have a German friend who thinks exactly the same way
Storyainthadnomoral
are you Italian? Is cipollino 'little onion'?
wwtwo
Ja ;)
PickleAficionado
I believe I missed this part in life. My dad has always just been "dad"
AIterdcarbon
My dad has always been both.
TheoLu
Fortunate for you - my dad pulled a different kind of '4' on me to turn him from my best friend to just "dad" before I hit my teens :V
melodramaticbat
My dad's always been my friend but I think that's because I only ever saw him a couple of months a year as a kid. Distance helps...?
IHaveAPhrasalUserNameLikeThisOneCauseTheyAlwaysGetTheTopComment
My dad has always just been 'cracking the fuck down if I put my shoes on the table'.
theafrothunda
Huh. Same... Now I'm kinda sad...
BlncSL8
My dad has always been dad too. I don't have a single memory where I was having legitimate fun with him.
wartyfish
Srry to hear that, pal
AgentF0x
Mine was "just dad" too. He'd yell when I messed up, then get mad when I didn't come to him with problems. No win. He got better w/ age tho.
foxfire1112
:(
Rentalparasite
My dad is a dick. But he's a friend. Not a best friend but that weird white kid that you're nice to so he spares you.
MyLittleRony
The kid may be white, this joke, on the other hand...
ringadingdingbaby
Quiet and go to sleep or dad's going to come up the stairs - childhood horror story.
UhOhImAnOreo
My son is two. Can confirm I am his best friend and will be until his fifth birthday. Not a day later. You were probably just too young to 1
cutiepatoodiepumpkinbooty
+1 username
RandAIFlagg
wouldn't even have looked if you hadn't pointed it out, now rolling
ThatLemonStealingHorse
My parents were like that until I moved out for college, which they aren't paying a dime for my expenses, they've spent enough when I 1
ThatLemonStealingHorse
Was a kid. Now our relationship's been significantly better. They're actually fun people when they're not in parent mode & can just chill. 2
MyDickStaysHardInGraveyards
My mom is fun, but father can be a raging retard looking for verbal confrontation. Fuck him, he's not good enough for my mom.
PickleAficionado
Guys my dad wasn't a bad guy by any means, he was and still is an awesome guy, he just never cut me any slack like a "best friend dad" would
UhOhImAnOreo
2 remember. But the best dads are the ones who are just dads and fathers rather than dads and friends
kmikl
Just as a point of practise: try to nest your comments beneath each other. Makes it a lot easier to read.
UhOhImAnOreo
Yeah.. I'm on mobile. Can't comment on my own post so this is kinda just what it's gotta be
kmikl
Ah. well... shit.
ISmellManFlesh
Not true. My dad solidly dads when he needs to, but for the most part we're having great conversations and cracking jokes. You can be both.
GalacticaPegasusValkyrie
Ya my dad was dad til I was out of college. Then he was both. Still, he dads when I'm being stupid or need advice. Love him very much.
totallysherlocked
My dad is one of my best friends and a dad. I consider myself truly blessed
CarlTheLlamaBoy
My dad was just a bellend. Never a friend.
2313
My dad was just a duche. Dad should be able to be both a dad and a friend. Makes much for much happier family from what I've seen
IwillOFFENDyou
At least you had a dad and not just a father. Any prick with a dick can father kids. But a dad raises them.
2313
Sometimes I wish I didn't have a father. Sadly my life would be much better off in some ways. Mom is money maker so he not helping there.
IbleedfirstthereforIwin
I’m not allowed to be the dealer in any card game or the bank when I play monopoly...
v because I cheat
TheBigBastard
God I can't stand that cunt. I wish someone would smash her fucking teeth in. Even though this happened some time ago, still don't like her.
SynNergy
I think the second girl died of her hair injuries.
Therearetoomanyusernames
What a bitch!
oldhagg
Sometimes I want to do this to players when I play, but then I remember I actually know how to play the goddam sport
vennthrax
fucking rip
TheBitcherThreeMilfCunt
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
DaddySlapper
what a cunt
Mrscullenator
Poor BYU
Vandaliam
....they won tho
ItsCaptain0bvious
HOW CAN SE SLAP? HOW CAN SHE SLAP!
v0v0
I almost downvoted you, but then I realized that it's not your fault. LOL
clock68
I'd eat it
Pencillin
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
buddhafw
elucidatefurther
http://imgur.com/yNyScAE
LadyNetrex
That woman is fucking disgusting.
idrinkcheapbeer
I bet she's a tiger in the sack.
SoapyMammaryMasturbation
I bet she just fucking lies there like a fucking stone and lets the man do all the work.
NaomiDeplume
"People think I have a lot of sexual aggression. I was like, ‘Whoa, no, I don’t feel that way at all.’ That’s bizarre and shocking to me.”
dashamm3r
That's called playing to win
buddhafw
BunBunIsMySpiritAnimal
strange how this one gets downvoted but your other one gets insane upvotes?
buddhafw
ha, I thought I had double posted.... Oh well what imgur gives, imgur takes.
japesthetank
right?
whosfortrue
I will marry her
MykillMetal
If soccer was like that more often, I might not hate it with a passion...
Sdream55
That girl needs a punch in the face...
Carefuler
Did you notice the girl in front reaching back and grabbing her pants first?
SoapyMammaryMasturbation
That's pretty common in soccer, men's and women's. Source: I'm European, played lots of soccer at school, watched lots of it.
Carefuler
Yeah? What do they do there? Get pantsed, everyone has a good chuckle, then go back to the game? How many times a game is it allowed?
SoapyMammaryMasturbation
Nah, see, it's during 'marking' situations. It's basically the person in front keeping track of the player they're trying to mark/block...
LadyNetrex
Oh, I'm gonna hold your shorts, of course it's the same to throw me to the ground by my hair.
Carefuler
No, it's "I'm going to restrain you from going after the ball while my teammate scores a goal" You people all seem to think this is friendly
Sdream55
No, I didn't see that before, but still...
Carefuler
How about this one? https://youtu.be/S8CE8gVGwkk?t=39s
PoeKneeTa
The girl wasn't looking at her anyway. I've grabbed people's pants and hell, even crotch before behind me by accident. It doesn't mean shit.
UltimateQueefMachine
Can confirm. I'm things like volleyball and handball, we have a fair few accidental boobs grabs when 3 of us go for the ball at once.
Carefuler
The difference is she's restraining her from going after the ball to give her own team an advantage, not an accident.
JRtheBearded
Ooooooo pants grabbing such a fucking bad thing. I wonder if she pinched her if she'd respond with a guillotine? Appropriate.
Carefuler
lol! Yeah, she should have waved her hand for the ref, and waited patiently for him! Go watch some pro hockey!
Carefuler
You think this is just a game don't you?
SteppingInsideOutOfMyself
This is Elizabeth Lambert of New Mexico back in 2009. She wasn't caught during the game, but received a mere 2 game suspension for all this.
MrBaggins
She should be playing Rugby.
Leithoa
I have a feeling that sort of behavior gets its own justice in rugby and that's why she doesn't play.
SteppingInsideOutOfMyself
This was a conference semifinal and New Mex lost, so she served the 2 games the following season. And she changed her number, too.
bevme
I'm thankful to the Internet for keeping her ugly face out there. It'll be harder for her to hide. Shameful hag.
Carefuler
and this: https://youtu.be/S8CE8gVGwkk?t=39s
Carefuler
What about the girl in front of her reaching back to grab her pants first?
Imghurrr
That was after the girl got all grabby behind her.. normal defensive move
hailinghydrate
big difference just between grabbing pants and the other girl just trying to injure her. no reason for it.
forgotmyshit
Last I saw her posted, someone said that was just about keeping track of her movement iirc. Yanking her to the ground is still over-the-top.
Cela84
Grab pants, give whiplash from braid yanking. Same difference.
stupidinbredstackofmeat
What the fuck is her deal?
jesthisisjauntaco
Or she's got a dick
WristDeepInaBook
SPORTS
UnlikelyMotivation
Shark week.
jiynxed
ladies' soccer is 20% futbol, 5% jogging 75% WWE/MMA
BookSmart
Dad had a bunch of gambling debt and everything was riding on that game.
Zixtank
Maybe she's related to Louis Suarez.
Lionskull
Louis Suarez, he'll bite your dick off.
UrsaUrsa
*om nom nom*
TheRicM
Residual strap on session muscle memory
nicehulk
Huh?
ShdwRrw
Hair pulling when you're doing it from the back.
Tonberryc
ExplodingTacos
same
obnoxiouslygiddy
Legit lol'd.
Carefuler
Girl in front of her reached back and grabbed her pants. this one elbowed her: https://youtu.be/S8CE8gVGwkk?t=39s They're not angels.
ShdwRrw
Damn, women's soccer is brutal compared to mens.
Lionskull
do you mean that a high level, widely broadcast game is more closely punished and therefore less "brutal" than a college game?
Lionskull
because if someone did this in the world cup, that would be suspended and fined.
SueZeeKew
That clip just makes her look like more of a cuntbag.
buttermyarse
That's pretty normal, football isn't a no contact sport. The one touching her shorts probably just wanted to know where she was to mark her.
UrsaUrsa
So they're competitive cunts... I'm just wondering how often do they get carded?
ShdwRrw
Not often enough.
NaomiDeplume
"Elizabeth Lambert said she still could not fully explain what led her to yank an opponent from Brigham Young down by her ponytail." NYTimes
mcwolfcastle
I think we found out who Carfuler secretly is...
Treblaine
NYT times... now they wouldn't take "would not" answer questions as "could not explain" would they? I'm sceptical of journalistic integrity.
NaomiDeplume
Well, you should dedicate yourself to getting to the bottom of this.
Imghurrr
I figured she was grabbing her pants because she felt Cunt Girl behind her yanking on pony tail
Carefuler
Close, you just got the sequence of events mixed up.
Imghurrr
I mean she started grabbing before she yanked hard though.. she could feel her behind her and no doubt didn't trust her given the reputation
Treblaine
http://imgur.com/0HAZX8p /NT1pKXW.gif /0HAZX8p.gif /c3O7ZAx.gif imgur.com/XQO7G6N.gif" class="comment__media" loading="lazy"/>
Imghurrr
Ok?
Treblaine
Go frame by frame, white shirt is not only clearly backing into red-shirts space but assaulted her FIRST grabbing at red shirts upper thigh.
Imghurrr
If you look at your frames, she already has her hand wrapped around her hair
RepaidRapidDave
She is a cunt
ICanChangeMyNameLater
I knew this would be the first comment.
Beepity
Shame. There's no cure for that.
MrGrayandPink
They all just need a thorough fucking. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
JoshyFreddy
Aim for the brain.
MomijiInada
Percussive maintenance keeps attitudes in balance.
TheCochNessMonster
A well place kick to the side of the face will usually set a wild cunt straight
UrsaUrsa
Nah, it just reboots the wildcunt.exe, it's not a permanent solution...
Carefuler
Did you notice the girl in front grabbing her pants first?
NuhtruwScahtsmahn
Ahem. Over-reaction.
CptJohnYossarian
Doctor here. That's not strictly true. Large, rapid IV doses of KCl is curative for being a cunt.
ihatewarmpickles
What's KCI? I'm a stoop :(