A New Zealand dump that makes me proud to be a kiwi

May 1, 2017 1:46 AM

kittydetonator

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281186

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6732

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121

Typical

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Me and my wife just applied for working visas. Escaping the UK for what seems like paradise right now.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Went to a pawn shop and over heard a lady saying she's from New Zealand... I wanted to say, "WHY?! Why are you here.. you could be in NZ!".

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sometimes I scroll to the bottom looking for the Bad Replies... but there aren't any. Kiwis are nice.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As a Swede who have visitet a few times I can only say, personally, I think nz is one of the best in the world. Too bad it so far away

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I would like to visit there.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Definitely check out Queenstown

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's superb here! The kind of place you want to go if you want to walk in a direction with a backpack and see where the wind takes ya

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

a majestic kiwi.

9 years ago | Likes 157 Dislikes 1

God casts a chur spell on all of the cuzzies

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This guy is such a good ambassador for NZ. Everyone loves him.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Oh NZ

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

We try :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The eagle has landed, I repeat, the eagle has landed

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Fuck with ur eagle as dick hole bird we keep it flightless and fat green mother fuckers

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Was that Wellington?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've met one kiwi and she dislocated her shoulder riding a horse and got right back on it like nothing ever happened

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

My sister is obsessed with the idea of immigrating to NZ.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Tell her she is right and very intelligent. Wonderful place here!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm a Japanophile myself; the odds of becoming a Japanese citizen are slim though, so I wouldn't mind NZ while I try for it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Study while you are over here! JLPT is hosted here like everywhere else and I have adored studying the japanese language here too :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I fucking loved NZ just come back from a years WHV was so good the people are good cunts very friendly

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Why thanking ya!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I see you picked up our lingo :P

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah a fair bit my friends have noticed me going "ahh yeah true" it was an amazing country lived at Mt Cook for 6 months

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"yeah nah yeah, sweet as" :P

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I LIVE IN THIS PLACE IM SO EXCITED

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

WEVE BEEN ON IMGUR A COUPLE TIMES NOW I LOVE IT!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#7 is a pastafarian. The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It's a real thing. Even my iPhone autocapitalises it. www.venganza.org

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Please keep New Zealand safe. We need you (and Canada) to repopulate the world after we fuck it up.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

At least NZ should be outside the fallout zone! *high five*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Sure. But there's gonna end up being a lot of mullets...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

We'll help you with rugby if you give us some of your hockey players

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We're tryin' our bestest buddy! Some are making it harder than others but we won't stop giving it our all!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

New Zealand's practically a devilish toddler compared to the rest of the world. I love this fucking country.

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

We love you too bro

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

*bru

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Obligatory:

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

God I love my country.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Too true!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Amen brother

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"New Zealand has an Air force". That's being VERY kind...

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I think we still have a plane somewhere...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

NZ builds helicopters

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I'd gladly trade having a pathetic excuse of an air force for cancer not taking everything you have if you're not insured...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

NZ has an air farce. The Navy has more flying things than the air force, not including when speedboats get air.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Technically, every military aircraft in New Zealand is in the air force, even if most of them are Naval helicopters.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Canada does this too, for whatever reason. So it's torpedo-carrying Sea Kings and olive-green Chinooks are all Air Force equipment.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I want to go back there.

9 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 1

Why? It's a right shithole here it is.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

I went there, and now I want to go back again. Loved that place.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I want to live there and never come back!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bring a smile and I'm sure you'll be welcomed back!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I want to go there, and come back. Then I want to go back there.

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

"There and BackAgain"

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I would like to live there.

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

I do live there

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Become a shepherd

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dont you come over here

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Gorgeous place to live. Housing market is garbage though

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

From what I've heard it's alright but the prices for things are a bit high for the wages earned.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

I think it's so the big hobnobs at the top have a better cash transfer rate when they travel internationally. The average worker got screwed

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It just the drop kicks from school who can't pass a drug test so the stuck with shit jobs

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

True bro

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Another kiwi here. Love our country

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Amen bro

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yea bro!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I always feel weirdly happy and proud when I see anything about NZ on imgur.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

For a small country at the bottom of the globe, we're really quite strongly represented internationally. So yay us!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Right? Like we're here! We exist!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

yes, you get it! :)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Its fantastic considering the whole country is about the size of a city overseas XD

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That brothel has gotta be in sydney australia. No way there is an area in NZ called northshore with chatswood and railway st

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hehe wellllll. .....

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also forgot in Willoughby council as well

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I was nodding off until I saw the one about the guy missing the call from Obama.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That guy is loathed like none other XD okay... like many others... New Zealander's don't like politicians...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Lol loathed except for most popular nz prime minister in history and record win at last election with biggest voter turnout..

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

True that

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

lol "the guy" is the former prime minister, not that anyone outside NZ really cares.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

I'd love to live in New Zealand but getting a visa is a nightmare. Anyone want to marriage me up?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Nigerian princes is that you

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll be whatever you want me to be hehe

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You a man or woman? Might be able to help you out.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hello! Yes I am New Zealandian! Much kiwi for all

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Where are you from? I work with heaps of people from overseas that have no problem getting visas. What industry are you in?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

U.K. Law enforcement. It's not on any special list. I'm just over 30 so working visa is out of the question.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

http://skillshortages.immigration.govt.nz/ There are a variety of police jobs that are considered skilled on this list.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Skilled but not shortage. To get a visa I need to be offered a job first. And most won't recruit overseas due to not being on shortage.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ah, fair enough.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They changed the rules quite recently you'd be surprised.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Didn't they make it even harder?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hmm, my Scottish friend here is now overflowing in points being over 30, childless, earning $$ & she works in advertising.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fuck I fucked up, one of these is not NZ related

9 years ago | Likes 831 Dislikes 6

A couple are just memes

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

It kinda is tho... The one complaint my UK friend had about NZ was that we like to close everything early haha

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kiwi as bru

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The one where Tina Fey says 10 Oclock at night?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If it makes you feel better, I just assumed it was something about New Zealand that I didn't get and moved on.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So is New Zealand a less deathland place than Australia? Because I'm terrified of Australia, but NZ seems cool.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

NZ has earthquakes and volcanoes. Australia has everything else.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She'll be alright mate

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*She'll be right mate

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Kind of a dirty cunt dump then, but still it was so funny, thanks man!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The one about being 21 I take It?

9 years ago | Likes 124 Dislikes 0

Spot on, coincidentally I am 21 and a New Zealander so I'm going to pretend it was on purpose

9 years ago | Likes 119 Dislikes 0

so... on a serious note: how often does it quake?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not so much anymore but we had some big earthquakes a few years ago in the city I live and there used to be heaps

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

thank you. NZ is somewhere my family is considering to uproot from USA.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Too late, now you and your children and your children's children will endure life long shame!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Actually the brothel one is Australian too... just an fyi

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yep yep

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When I look at America right now it makes me want to be a kiwi

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

When I look at America right now it makes me want to be a kiwi, oh wait...

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Well, at least you'll have variety in who is fucking you in the ass...

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The news clip from North Shore is a Sydney one.

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

You mean they are different cities or sonething?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#9 dammit @op

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Two of them. The brothel one is an Australian one. The suburb it refers to is near mine.

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

#9 yup, near me too

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey same! That annoyed me hahah

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

yewwww up the north shore

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I spot at least one Australian one in there cunt.

9 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 1

Dirty cunt.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Aussies wouldn't even have tongs to use, dirty cunts. We're the good cunts who care about hygiene shit like that so fuckers don't get sick.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

We're the fuckers who don't get sick anyways. Hygiene's for weak cunts.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Exactly why you need it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

You weak ass fuckin scrub.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Seeing another New Zealander on imgur like

9 years ago | Likes 1190 Dislikes 7

:)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What a good cunt.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

another checking in.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yay New Zealand! How many is that now? Including me there's gotta be like... atleast 17

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For a tiny country, it seems there are quite a few of us on here

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

So what's it like living in middle earth?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Such a funny question! It's like living anywhere else has its ups and downs

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fair enough ha, I've lived one place all my life so I tend to ask people living in other countries what it's like

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Theres like at least 12 for sure.. and seabed hahahahaha never stops being funny

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just like all the people who don't think the star wars prequels were shit (E.g. ... Me :/)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Dont forget the sheep. Love from an aussie !!!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Cantab living in Wellywood here!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chur bro

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fucked yeah bro

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Who downvoted this? Ozzie?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'd like to exchange the cold dark Finland to the warm sun bathed New Zealand. Anyone of you guys want to switch places?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What up

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kia ora!

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Kia ora, e hoa!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Tēnā koe

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

v .

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

henlo ????????

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nelson reporting

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Holy Fuck. Me too

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Chur bruv

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chur team. At least a dozen of us ow

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yep, I'm here too

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Reporting in from chch!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yay chch!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've lost count, but there appears to be a fair number of us!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A very similar feeling we Finnish people have if there ever was Finnish content on FP...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Literally dozens of us!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes!!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hello

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was a New Zealander till I upgraded to Australia. Specifically, I changed states from New Zealand to Queensland :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We're here!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hopefully one day I'll be able to call myself one, too. Canadian here.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lives in UK - another Kiwi crosses my path - all UK ppl be like "ooohhh you must know each other, right?"

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Well I mean, you probably do right? There's on like 4 million of us

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

yes. i am too

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cheeky cunt

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie, you guys are like the cool sibling that Mum doesn't like us hanging out with because we make her look bad.

9 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

Awww thanks ????

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nz is what Australia could be if they were given teo minutes to chill the fuck out without being bitten by snakes/spiders/each other.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

But always end up hanging out and having fun anyway! And if someone bullies us, our best bro Aussie got our back!

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Fucking. A. Right.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Know we got yours too. Antipodes for life!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Reporting in! Wellington front is doing well.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Bit cold though!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seconded! Fucking weird weather today but we're still here so it's all good bruh!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Right? I swear its getting way darker way quicker than past years...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seriously! I used to go for a run just before sundown at like 8pm, now it's almost blackout by 4:30 O.o

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

I'm gonna blame the ice caps

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There's at least 3 of us

9 years ago | Likes 204 Dislikes 2

Well you're not wrong

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

7 I'm from west Auckland

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i believe i make 4?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm from nz yay for the kiwis

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Another one -Rotorua

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Another. From Auckland!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Are you sure there's that many people in New zealand?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Six - napier

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yes but how many of you have been here as long as I have?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I've been here about tree fiddy

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Southlander checking in

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There's like 10 of us!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Kiwi checking in. I raised the average IQ of both Australia and NZ by moving there in 2001

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Good ol' Muldoon, eh?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I make four then, right..? Chch yeeaaaah

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Four...

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Five

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

seven

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Eight - Good God, that's almost half the South Island

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

@OP, @MrJourneaux, and the third guy http://imgur.com/MhWlmZG

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I bags being the attractive one

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Another one from Wellington

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think im no. 8. Christchurch m8

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Bro same!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

uni my dudes

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Same! Charleston/Phillipstown :D

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I feel like NZ is to Australia as Canada is to the US. How do you feel about this comparison?

9 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 2

Yep, one's got out and proud racism while the other is a bit worried about the Chinese buying too many houses in one of their areas.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

Exactly right. Overconfident, loud and dangerous vs humble, quiet and mostly harmless.

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 0

Fair suck of the sauce bottle, mate, Kiwis aren't overconfident ;)

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Mostly harmless, you say?

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Chur!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0