HettWhen
483759
17034
383
My dad always whistled and sang after banging my mom.
Dec 17, 2016 9:46 PM
HettWhen
483759
17034
383
My dad always whistled and sang after banging my mom.
knobcopter
He probably had sex with your mom once.
Thebloggerchannel
Exactly you were born of happy thoughts! Enjoy that thought @op
ItsMattyNotDaddy
My man did you think your parents never bamged, not even once?
Striker1945
Sounds you've become a good man OP =)
WhateverFloatsYourVote
Just calculated, one of my brothers was conceived around my moms bday and the other around Christmas. Nothing special about me though!
GrumpyoldBear
Son?
Eunoterp
Oh snap..just reminded me that my bedroom was in the basement below mom and dads. Early morning grunting, then silence every Saturday. Ewwww
MaggieSmithsSass
They kept you on a dungeon? so sweet of them
shockerslights
leastfourcharacters
Good mems
Showmeyourotters
Bangers and mash? More like bangers and smash
ialwayswantedalongusername
When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.
HerrKhan
rom65536
Sounds like your parents were happy together. Some people aren't fortunate enough to have parents that want to rub naughty bits.
LetMePickMyTeethThenHaveMoreChips2
Saturday sexy time! Yes.
evildadunit
Had sex, doesn't matter
DarkWhiteWolf
My Dad would tell us to get out of the house so he could bend my mother over the table, and would usually point out it would be in my spot.
ShutupMeg83
OrionJC
"And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me"
SamArt53
Is that you Harry?
BartanicGarden
And it's stuck in my head
O0crow0O
Wait until you hear your son singing and whistle...
Idsertian
"We have done extensive tests, and I'm afraid we have confirmed that your parents have had sex at least once in the past."
haltwenty13
Aw that's nice big guy keep that up.
ISleptWithSomeoneFromImgurAndAllIGotWasThisStupidUsername
MaggieSmithsSass
Who did YOU slept with ?
HellaFoxyLady
It's the circle of life. And it moves us all!
YoloTomatoJuice
What's the song?
Selerox
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - ACDC
xmaneds
pretty sure it was this song: https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o
UrsaUrsa
Nah, I'm sure it was this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
SamArt53
Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin (1974)
Codedependent
Holy shit. I always thought that was Cat Stevens. Holy shit. My life is a lie.
SamArt53
"My life is a lie" +1. IDOH Easy mistake, we all love cats.
EmeraldEsq
Ah. I can't wait till "throw your ass in a circle" is an "Oldie but a Goodie"
AfroSamuraiRM
Isn't it, "throw that ass in a circle"?
burgerandy
You know, you know.
itsthevoiceman
Explain?
ItsAllZeroesAndOnes
Not sure, but maybe this?
GuyThatExplainsStuff
It's a song and he's saying he can't wait until it's an oldie, which would be ironic because it's so ridiculous
Snodig
I had no idea that was a song. Getting old, it seems. I thought it originated in text-pranks...
Proteus1985
You do realize your parents had to of had sex at least once, right?
TheTimper
I describe my divorced parents relationship as friends-with-benefits so
DjNeHi
Nah. It was probably the milk man.
Nothing3lseMattaz
You filthy bastard!
bowserbob
As the youngest of 10.....yeah......
RoboticTurtle
Maybe. But thanks to medical science today's couples can have kids and remain abstinent! Truly we live in the future.
DrippySpaffMungeBimp
Science doing the Lord's work!
WentzofFoles
Ha! I was adopted!
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Even your parents
electricbugalooii
The time he walked in on them naked wrestling?
AroAce
Technically that wouldn't be necessary.
upvotehypnotoad
My parents dont have sex bits. I was made in a test tube and incubation chamber. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
xmaneds
who are we to disagree with HYPNOTOAD?
thatpatguy
Just like your dad stuck it to your mom.
samsonguy920
That was the story
fpierce1997
Had to HAVE
weeebleswobble
Fucking thank you.
SneezinST
Thank you
SoMuchPooPooSon
You'd be right except for the capitalising of the word
SoMuchPooPooSon
Such downvotes for a silly joke. Sometimes Imgurians can't even take the harmless, unoffensive jokes
UrsaUrsa
If it doesn't seem like a joke, they won't take it as one, try the "/s" at the end of your future jokes to indicate sarcasm
SpecimenSpiff
Gee, wow.
CptJero
Have to have had
azmyth1
Had to've had.
flowseeker
Yes he had had to have had, hadn't he?
radas86
raidleadergutts
James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
FuckingLoveImgur
Mind blown
TemporaryUzername
have have have have
Camelspotting
english pls
CloakedGoliath
Like father like son.
chrisdafish
The cycle continues
ABonkeysManana
Monkey see monkey do.
BustyCrustacean
Not flesh nor fish nor bone
BustyCrustacean
https://youtu.be/TzL-up4ZKgI
Mrcuddlesofnorway
Like mother like wife
FlockOfSeagulls25
Like... aunt, like niece?
10tacles
Mrcuddlesofnorway
But do the nips come off?
10tacles
KookyPooBear
alicatzpjs
Hahaha. Those "oh shit" life moments are always funny.
lagomorpha
I realized one day that my morning farts right after I wake up & go to pee sound exactly like my mothers. She did not like this revelation.
RattleMeBonesRattleRattle
Yeah I've started lashing out and screaming at my loved ones when stressed like my dad would. Life is weird like that...
dootdootfloop
The amount of times ive called my mum to say sorry for things 15 years ago cos i undestand now.
nubblebun
Aw, that's nice of you. I bet she appreciates it.
EhIWonderHowLongAUsernameCanBeLetsFindOutShallWeAaandThereItIs
Like knowing your birthday is 9 months after Valentines
AreYouGonnaBuySomethingNoImJustDancingToTheHumOfYourFridge
All of my siblings are born with 3-4 years between them. I'm the youngest and born 1,5 year after my sister. I was probably not planned lol.
SilverLullabies
My parents are virgins so I don't know what that is like.
wieloryba
Jesus? Is that you?...
imguriaaaan
Denial ftw!
whatupmyknitters
i was born 3 weeks late. recently i realized my birthday is the exact amount of time my mom was pregnant with me after my dad's birthday.
Soulwindow
I did the math a few years ago, I was one day late from being born exactly 9 months from my dad's bday.
frodobaggin
I just did the math. Im exactly nine months from my mom's bday. I didnt ask for this knowledge ...
Izael
Damn... Me too
IsDisassembled
I was born end of September. I think I was either a Christmas or YNE baby.
FirefighterCaboose
I'm a wedding night baby.
DumbassLesbian
I'm a vacation baby
Tideless
Had the same realization when I did the math and found out my dads birthday is exactly a month before me and my younger sister
Nikolaj
Am I being dense, or would your dads birthday a month before not mean your mom was pregnant for either 1 or 13 months? Explain it to me, pls
KaitlynTheSeaDragon
9 months from Easter, lol
SardonicGrin
Yeah I was born 9 months after Christmas.
whatupmyknitters
heyo fellow virgo!
astronomygeek7
Or Libra. I was born Oct 1st. Either Christmas or New Year's.
itsbre
My parents stayed with my grandparents one weekend so my grandparents could babysit my brothers. 9 months later, I was born.
GoogleFucker
I accidentally did the math one day too. I was born 9 months after my mom moved to the states after marrying my dad.
FranticHalibut
Same, except wedding anniversary
LunarFlame
I was born in November. I'm a Valentine's day baby.
FlyingScotsmanYar
At least we know we were made passionately!
GoogleFucker
Haha so is one of my best friends. We never let him forget it
LordLittlepants
Me too.
ErectileFunction
I, too, sing and whistle after banging your mom.
SonicBoomYourFamily
His mom whistled after I banged her.
FunnyMotherfucker
HAH! This comment has been enjoyed by me, +1!
robertrobertwave6992718
iOS funny cancer
WhippedMeme
Rip @op
CasualWaterboarding
Set and spike. It's just too damn easy out there, Cotton.
MrUpv0t3
This guy doesn't give a FOOK!
Cherray611
Welp...
THEBROTHERSCALLMEMASTER
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
soulman901
Is this why the Saviors whistle?
alovelypintofguinness
FOKKEN Legend
KoteSilence
SoMuchPooPooSon
I like to do it during the sex with OP's mum. Adds a bit of character to an otherwise sweaty and animalistic situation
TicklerOfFancies
Same
mooshartar
irrelevant username
KoteSilence
Wooooooo
ReverseTransmission
Who doesn't?
HouseUchihasBastard
parree
ThirdTreeontheLeft
User name checks out
ForgivingCat
But do you make bacon?
DiggerPlease
His mom makes a whistling sound when she walks after I bang her
AlwaysBeenWeird
Hahahaha!
Manbehindthemadness
Username sealed the deal
Zipp4Real
http://replygif.net/i/1062.gif
FranticHalibut
You can always expect this comment on posts like these, yet they never fail to make me giggle
upvotehypnotoad
whistle while you twerk
RealFakeFactsEveryday
You really have no chill bro
AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle
I LOL'd
LostAmiga
FloppyPankake47
vitaminalgas
Wow...You're fast with your erectile functions
ErectileFunction
Gotta be or someone else will get in there first.
Acera
Your mom whistled after I banged her.
lordomclordo
Savage
GnoHomo
Brutal
glah
Absolutely barbaric!
NiklasHald
Faitality
ProJunior
nebworb
But do you bang the drum BEFORE?!
PyroDragon
Same
explodjunk
Wait, do you have a Xbox live gamer tag with same name?
PyroDragon
No
cryborg
You are not the only one
Crommric
SAVAGE
Brodt
You truly do the lord's work.
SteveMcCroskey
Boom
JupiterJedi
Haha! I low key hate Ops life. What you did this morning is what I dream for my future. I want your life.
cbh3
Don't we all?
RowRowFightThePowa
Got you to 666. I feel a special, Satanic connection with you now, @ErectileFunction.
ErectileFunction
Even though my power has grown far beyond the mighty 666, i won't forget your efforts.
RowRowFightThePowa
Whoa holy fuckin shit it's almost 10x that amount now.
CMcAwesomeville
8,046. I matter! Totally deserved first, top comment
lilmookieesquire
Hahahaha this comment got around 50% of your total karma. Nice dog!
SirMalloryofCoventry
Dad?
MonkeyAgainstTheUnkown
Salvaje
Crommric
eso si compa
MACARLOS
Dad?
PuckeringButthole
JetSetGo
+1, but COME ON! Use the one with a proper loop!
v
[deleted]
[deleted]
JetSetGo
??? First off, link? And second, not for me. The transition is smoother than an oiled-up Lando.
MattChu777
You almost had me with your username.
PuckeringButthole
Mudgers
I clicked it
PuckeringButthole
ayeseaturtles
User name checks out.
RunningInCirclesNeverFeltSoGood
Came here to say that
notme222
The neighborhood around OP's mom's house sounds like a goddamn wind tunnel.
robertrobertwave6992718
iOS funny cancer
Darkspire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FK1DCWrW02s
rob0237
That was actually kinda cool. My God I'm boring
Darkspire
We all are. That's why we are here.
rob0237
Touchรจ
tothe9ines
It sounds like nonstop bombs are incoming with all the whistling.
BYERE
Where, there is a lot of bangs happening, it seems...
UrsaUrsa
I can hear the Stukas now..
PangolinWranglin
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
worxharder
I laughed to hard at this comment, freaking gold medalist commentator right there.
gaseousmemes
I started giggling +1
HelpMyHairIsOnFire1
Or op's mom is generating the windtunnel :)
HowLongIsAChineseName
A phil-whore-monic orchestra if you will
BC2k2
Remember: Whores Get Paid. Sluts do it cuz they like it.
[deleted]
[deleted]
IGiveMrsPotatoHead
And bitches do everyone but you
Gink0
The rest of my life is now dedicated to finding the opportunity to use this joke irl. I have purpose again, thank you
cricketmozzarella
Try "fill-whore-momic"
SuperiorPosterior
Sure, I'm game.
AstralBeast808
I will.
MrMaRzZ
I will with you
BC2k2
As will I.
kidswat
I whistle while banging. To each their own.
Zipp4Real
Bridge over the River Kwai?
Cravanicus
And to everyone, OP's mom.
worldstiniestviolin
This is why you can brag that you never banged the same woman twice
Maahes0
You gotta whistle while you work.
teddyboops
Werk?
PoptartKitten
But do you work while you whistle?
SuperiorPosterior
Nah, she's workin' the whistle.
PoptartKitten
MY MAN. :^) the good ole' SUCCC
judgmentday206
It's almost as bad as when you realize your mom's birthday is just about 9 months before yours is.
RandomGliscor
Mom's in September, I'm in May. Does that add up? I'm really bad at math. :/
KGirl82
FFS, why did I just do the math on this? My birthday is just shy of 9 months from my Dad's birthday.
Arokthis
Not as bad as when your birthday is the first week or so of October. That means you were a Christmas gift or New Year's party favor.
radassamber
All 3 of my brothers were born 9 months after my moms birthday
ibbadgers
Mine is my dad's, my sisters is my mum's, and my brothers is valentines day. Never thought of it before now xD
RevanTheJedi
Why....
Tallbbwgal
Oh my gosh, my birthday is 9 months after my dad's. I feel dumb.
drbloodbathmc
I was a pre-me and my b-day is just under 9 months from my dad's bday......fuck
JesusMowsMyLawn
New Year's Eve here.
NotActuallyaFag
I guess my mom just had a crazy summer full of regrets 9 months prior to my birth.
bootitty
New year's bangalang baby
Kevincatalan
OH MY GOD
Schnackbar
You just shattered my whole reality.
jevans88
Ha! My son was conceived a month after we got married. No where near our birthdays or Christmas or Valentine's Day and not a honeymoon baby
SurroundedByAPileOfCats
I have a cousin who quite likely conceived on her wedding night. The baby came almost exactly nine months later.
Happypillsforeveryone
My son is in that situation!
ImaginationJuice
Even better, how about your brothers birthday is 9 months before yours.
figuringeights
I JUST realized this...
Dwinthy
Why did you do this to me?
NoBeardTheIrate
We have cold winters where i live. All four of us kids have summer birthdays.
NEClamChowderAVPD
I was born 9 months after my sister's birthday...I feel weird now.
LordDeSeis
Dad's birthday for me. To the day.
darkoneko
...fuck. FUCK. god damnit you're right ! >_<
GuessWho7197
I had a friend whose birthday was exactly 9 months after Valentine's Day. Once we discovered this we never stopped giving him shit about it.
RopeJokesAreKnotFunny
It makes sense now why I'm 6 years from my sister...
f1photog
Oh dammit. My birthday is nine months from my mom's and my sister's birthday is nine months from my dad's. Craaaaaaaappp.
JustAnotherScientist
My mothers birthday is nine months before mine, to the day
chrislilley9
OH. MY. GOD.
KyloyRenkins
Holy shit it's true!
torsionspace
lol. I was 2 months premature... and it still works out.
chrislilley9
OH. MY. GOD.
Sdream55
My brothers bday is 9 months after my moms! Hahaha!
EmilysMan
3/14... pie day?
luxerae
My mom moved to the US a full year before my sister & dad followed from the Philippines. My birthday is nine months after they arrived lmao.
StarkRG
Well that was lucky!
TheInfernalContraption
Almost, but from the other side - My birthday is August, Dad's is November.
Forunth
I'm born 9 months after valentines day...
UltimateAlloy
NO
hajirah
Who else started counting 9 months after their mom's birthday to check?
AreThoseMyPants
My dad's cakeday was 3 months after mine.
HighSlayerRalton
He became an Imgur user 3 months after you?
AreThoseMyPants
Whoops, brainfart. Meant to say bday.
animatic
Let's see. Nearly 8 months, but I was a solid 2 months preemie.
Iastfan112
Sister and I are both Christmas. On the plus side I have a bunch of friends with late Sept birthdays as well and ruined it for them too.
misterflibbertyjibbet
I was a valentines gift...
donteatme
I was born on Valentine's...
MarquisDeLard
Me too :-)
INeverThoughtIdMakeThisAccount
.......................................Oh...
NotThatPoshWine
Oh my god, did the math, it adds up.
thatbaldguyswife
Omg me too!!!!! I've never realized it before :/
Zahnradfee
My birthday is one day after my father's. I was a birthday present.
gljames24
Same here
skipperpop2525
I was a christmas present. Sep 25. EXACTLY 9 months.
TheSpaceWizard
Shit, so was I. Sep 25. Never realized.
Atomsk
Good thing my parents never had sex. So awkward!
Ohjeezwell
Or when you realise you're a September baby and you were a drunken Christmas party mistake. I'm good, I was late August
usernamenolongeravailable8
That's always the best secret Santa gift; the white Christmas
Ohjeezwell
Ivellius
What if you were born after only 8 months..?
Ohjeezwell
Xmas work party
AnaCadabra88
So Thanksgiving?
Ohjeezwell
I'm English, I don't understand
AnaCadabra88
.... Drat, nevermind.
MidLifeChrysler
My parent's anniversary is nine months to the day from my birthdate. Dad takin' care of business.
firesword14
Same here!
tangybreath
So is mine... but it's my mom and my step-dad's anniversary...
dogsi
My wife got pregnant with our oldest on our honeymoon. She got pregnant the second time the first time we had sex after our oldest was born.
9point3x62
Same here. Born exactly one year and nine months after my parents got married.
jekath
Had my oldest waited 4 days, she would have been born exactly nine months after I married my ex.
DeathtyOneDeathtyTwoDeathtyThree
I just realized I'm an anniversary baby, my bro is a Christmas baby, sister is a bday baby.
BumblyWumbly
Or your birthday is nine months after one of the dates that one of your parents was deployed.
Surrenadee
I'm a 4th of July spark.
jantzie
Ditto. :)
MyCatsNameIsWaldo
Oh no. I just did the math..fuck. I'm in the same boat. ;_;
Lulumegan
Brother and I have birthdays about a week and a half apart (different years, of course)...about 9 months after parents' anniversary. Yeah.
redshadow1000
I'm a valentines day baby *shudder*
DefinitelyNotSatan
Eyyy, same. November birthday.
ruarc
Fuck off... I'm a THANKSGIVING DAY baby.
Audi0Ghost
Drunken St. Patty's day baby
zrhay
4th of July here. They always said it's why I'm spunky like a firework.
IOnceOwnedMoonMoonButOnceHeTriedToLickMyBallsAndRanAwayIMissHim
Hehe, spunk
srslydude
I'm an...August baby. What the hell were they thinking in Florida in August?
redshadow1000
End of summer sex?
redshadow1000
So what you're saying, is that your dad gave your mom a little extra stuffing with her turkey that year
IOnceOwnedMoonMoonButOnceHeTriedToLickMyBallsAndRanAwayIMissHim
LMAO I am guffawing here :D
ToasterHawk
I think i was new years baby. My dad was 20. Which is how old i am now.
spodersnek
Or when your birthday is in November/December, and 9 months before is Valentines Day.
TheWorldsGreatestPlagueDoctor
My girlfriend was born on 14 November, exactly 9 months on valentines day valentines day.
Kraj71
I'm early August. Guess that makes me a Halloween baby.
misterflibbertyjibbet
I always thought September babies were Christmas presents and November babies were Valentines gifts
LunaChic
My birthday is 09/30, one time my dad was drunk & told me I was his Christmas present...yeah
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
I'm a new years celebration i think.
Mrperfle
I'm a September baby ????????????
TheDreadPirateRobinSparkles
Mid-December is 9 months after St Patrick's Day. I'm really hoping my son never figures that out.
StarkRG
It's closer to 9.5 months (280 days) but I'm pretty sure there's a fair amount of variability, so I'd say 9-10 months
TheDreadPirateRobinSparkles
Here's what I know: December 10 is at the due date end of the St Patrick's Day shenanigans.
StarkRG
268 days, seems like a reasonable margin for error. Although, did you just imply that you didn't have sex at any other time around then?
StarkRG
I'm also a Valentines baby. My brother and sister are my dad's birthday and, according to our mum, were the result of taking MDMA.
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
Please tell me your sister is named Molly.
StarkRG
lol, no, that'd have been awesome.
darkoneko
in my case, both.
Freso
Your birthday is in both November and December?
darkoneko
My mom was born in february 14th.
KayGriMi
My conception was August I guess since I was born in May... No relevance, no holidays, no birthdays, they were just fuckin. I'm not special
GwenShepard1
Same
HilariousPepperoni
Pregnant with my first. Doctor tells me that it's technically not 9 months. It's actually 10 months of pregnancy, aka 40 weeks. Mind blown!
StarkRG
Months are longer than 40 weeks. It's 280 days with some variation.
Ant4N
Which is how many months were originally in the calander. o.0
InstructionsIncluded
I feel bad for your offspring
Webelos8
Because we usually never know the first four weeks
StarkRG
No, it's because 40 weeks is closer to 9.5 months
LazyJones1
What? 40 weeks is 9 months. Not 10.
HilariousPepperoni
From what he explained, in the medical world it's typically 10 months. He also said it depends on each pregnancy though.
LazyJones1
They must be measuring by moon calendar.
HilariousPepperoni
Fuck if I know. I show up to make sure everything's good
ThelostWorldofAtlantis
Uh...4 weeks in a month. 40รท10=4.
futuralon
52 divided by 12= 4 and one third, the average month.
LazyJones1
Ignoring February every month has ~ 4.4 weeks on average. 4 weeks is only 28 days. What comes after december 28?
LordStarkillerHimself
Mardi Gras
Trumpcard814
On average, 0 months have 4.4 weeks. :p
Ivellius
But the only month that is actually 4 weeks is February. There are 13 weeks every 3-month period. Therefore, 40 weeks is just over 9 months.
LazyJones1
But not 10.
pixelsnader
40 weeks is 9.2 months (on average) Not 10. http://m.imgur.com/YM8ork0