Boedith
660613
19509
740
Bondi Beach in Sydney, not at all like on tv.
Melbourne was just buildings
Heard the Great Ocean Road was amazing, was just some stupid rocks
Was gonna beat up the stupid comedian
Got a free hug instead. It was a good hug.
Brisbane has a beach inside the city. Just stupid.
Thought the zoo would cheer me up. Turns out Steve Irwin is dead.
And koalas sleep all the time. Why even display those lazy things?
Went to see the most famous ship in Queensland. It can't even sail...
Enjoy the view they said. Didn't even see sharks...
Finally tried renting a car when I got to Cairns to lighten my mood
Got pulled over for driving grumpy and got a big fine.
So I got out of there. Australia sucks.
glaxxon
I lost it at "just buildings" +1
SubtleOrc
Glad you enjoyed us
Stevethebarbarbarbarbarian
Didn't even realize this was sarcastic until like halfway through. Now I feel stupid and am therefore grumpy.
FollowingTheWay
Someone turn this into a children's book: "Grumpy Cat Goes On Vacation"
kythorn
Cheer up mate
melissadealsdeath
Ye bruh
afx82
Even the mosquitos didn't suck me off..
lorddanyl
I would travel with you! Seems like a fun trip.
AgeisFang
Should have come over the west side haha
Itanu
"Ooh a tourist attraction" ~10 hours of driving in barren wasteland~ "Ooh another one"
AgeisFang
Don't forget you will also cook in your own skin haha
ItsJDG
Least you didn't die from...y'know...everything that lives there
dampsquib1
You should of come to Bendigo in Vic matey. We would of shown you a good time. Heaps of deadlies here.
MatHeadGetz
Born & raised Bendigonian here... living in Brissy now.
HIVpatientZero
Went from concerned to amused +1
dweadpiewitwobbits
The Disgruntled Tourist, must be a fellow American.
Izanami95
gave me an audible giggle-snort. At least you didn't get killed by... everything.
juthred
If Australia doesn't cheer you up, just give up
tarquinbusstopftang
Yank here. Travelled Australia after college alone for 3 months. Fabulous time. Australia, you will always have a friend in me.
morgan0073
I could have got my aunt to suck your dick. Might have made things better.
TheMurph1332
Jim jeffries?
Johak
dinaana
brilliant
uponstrangeshores
Glad to see you enjoyed it.
neonghost
Its cause you didnt drop a pinga and do a single pegga in an el falcon necking a boong egg, thats the Australian way mate
daveisamonster
Love the cynicism
thr33xgaming
Oh we little few who actually get the joke.
XxCartsxX
I read this in Karl Pilkington's voice
Tinycatfarts
Haha. Me too
Rikoshi
My favorite thing about Karl Pilkington is that, if he were any dumber, he'd wrap around the other side into brilliance. But he isn't.
yehaaa6
Eeevrry once in a while he says some brilliant things.
AdamAndEvel
I hear Ricky cackling in the background
mourninglori
"Head like a fucking orange"
LapisLazuli94
YOURE AND IDIOT, PLAY A RECORD
GeoffHerbon
Upvote KP
Leafshade
I read this with Karl Pilkington's voice in the background.
StRocketScience
LOLOLOL
DiscoTimeBaby
Fucking ha
thornprick
"Cheeky bastards"
pacey5714
Hey OP. If on ypur way back you get stuck in London and a girl you meet mentions a temp job working at a VR gaming company, dont do it.
ChiefSokka
What company? A friend of mine works at a VR gaming company based out of London but he's was to prideful to admit if it was terrible
IrishPokeball
Brvtals
Specially since you're Daniel Cross' lookalike better not take any chances m8
SwiggityDiggitySwoo
OMG, totally thought of that episode when I saw OP ...thank you!!!
StarryNightsInCanada
+1 for that! (What a creepy episode)
supershus
FFFFFFF
Boedith
Got it, thanks. That's what happened to you i guess?
GoIIum
Black Mirror, Season 3, Episode 2 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Playtest_(Black_Mirror) . I'd recommend watching it during the day.
veryhungrycaterpillar
(Guys, it's a reference to a Black Mirror episode called PlayTest which is fucking awesome.)
HumanTrampoline
Aw man still scarred from that ending
veryhungrycaterpillar
No kidding. Although I normally need a few quiet minutes to breathe after every DM episode..
Shlits
Yep, awesome show.
flobeach
But which way did the water go when you flushed the toilet?
magila
straight down. Ultra conservation toilets have steep sides and almost zero water in the bowl. The flush water rinses the sides.
OMGLasergunsPewPewPew
Down. Who the fuck has spinning water in their toilets?
TBarracuda33
You should have spent your time down under with Aussie women...
PretzelDickbutt
Would you care to Australian kiss?
kbloodless
I think you mean some Sheilas
DurendaI
Bogan hookers. Never again.
CongratsYouAreHereNow
dude, i went to australia by myself two years ago and it was the best couple weeks of my entire life
magila
Can confirm. It was like living in a beer commercial. People I'd never seen before would hand me a beer and the women were very friendly.
zinkyre
I like that xvideos channel.
dampsquib1
They would show him a thang or 2
downunderwonder
I mean... we know things
Spoonland
This. This is nother elaborate trick in the big aussie's scheme to keep foreingers and tourist way. Like all those stories about spiders
melissadealsdeath
Keep quite mate, or we'll gotta send Great Whites ur way
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
Our human rights violations should keep foreigners out too
StrazzaDazza
And drop bears
szepasszony
what is a drop bear?
StrazzaDazza
I can't tell if you are un-ironically saying this or not
szepasszony
I ordered one online, are they as cuddly as they look in the pictures?
StrazzaDazza
Mate they're like piranhas, looks like an average fella but when they open their fucken mouth, mate they are scary cunts
Spoonland
those are a fact
EverythingWasTakenBySomeBastard
Indisputably so. They take many unsuspected children and tourists every day
PhiIIipJFry
Only the ones not savvy enough to coat themselves in dingo urine, human will do in a pinch.
EverythingWasTakenBySomeBastard
They don't call it Eau de Toilette for nothing
unwittinglyrad
This spider was on my balcony, a full grown female. She was promptly killed.. /a/4ScMk
Johak
PSA: If you have a problem with spiders you might wanna stay away from the CNN website for the moment..
Spoonland
by setting the house on fire, I hope
TheRealDenDen
Eh, I've seen bigger
gunsnbibles
Listen man, you didn't die. That has to go down as a win.
DaviDaTopera
Prove it
Azmania
*upside-down
Dontfuckwithtinyhippo
seems a LITTLE ungratefull that he didnt die
Starwaster
Didn't see sharks? No stone fish, no 25 foot crocodiles no spiders with health bars.... And yeah, not dying sounds pretty sweet
Dontfuckwithtinyhippo
sounds to me like he didnt even go to australia. probs just photoshopped himself into these pics
Starwaster
I think you nailed it :P
GaseousMaximus
We'll get him next time. Must have been beginners luck.
ImJustASalad
Maybe that was his goal. And it didn't happen, probably why it was terrible.
FreaksOnWheels
Right? I always want to die while on vacation
manditoryusername
You mean "go down under as a win"?
wellwellwelllookwhoscomecrawlingback
As someone who is not dead, can confirm
Compendyum
I agree. Do Brazil next!
riqilin
Or loss
twechy
Sometimes "dead" is the win. Imagine being in the US right now.
DaviDaTopera
"Revolted adolescent who hates his country" starter pack
Rejukem
Yeah! Wolf Creek is real.
Thisismyusernamenotyoursitsmine
Down under* as a win.
TheyCallMeDrFeelGood
As an Ir-win you mean. See... See what I did the.. .. yeah I will see myself out.
strungOutPowerpuffGirl
Funny
Flufftacular
"Go down"
Assgaurdian
*Go up. He is in Australia after all.
Punnilingus
You don't know his life. I'd say that's a loss to some people.
Sarahsmomhasgotitgoingon
It has to go down *under, as a win.
sideboobeffect
Arachnofobic here, nice to meet ya. How many spiders did you encounter whilst there?
sometimesipostsockshere
Probably like a litre
sideboobeffect
Fuck. To @boedith
Boedith
Actually, none that I can remember
flygonbreloom
Not even in Queensland? They got Cassowary-Spiders, y'know.
Paracelsush
That just means they were on your back, where you cant see them lay their eggs...
PluckedDuck
Yeah, ya gotta wear earplugs when you sleep so they don't lay their eggs there too.
TBarracuda33
I don't believe you, the photos aren't upside-down.
TheHappyHermit
post is translated from Australian to American. DUH! Uh Trump durp trailer park guns n stuff!
Snooj
He's posting them in Australia so it cancels out.
yourmorningcoffee
This is perfect
SendMeYourDesktopChair
Maybe you are in Australia too but you don't know it
PointMiner
IBentMyWookie
Non upside-down photos are a bootable offense
KatieKalavinka
No, no. He was upside down and so was his camera. That way they come out looking like he's the right way up.
Nafets6
That shouldn't make sence
SerbianWombat
I turned my phone upside down after reading this... what's wrong with me
tamalero
Pegas868
Duh... photoshop...
gewalt
camera was upside too, happens all the itme
DoublevBomb
Axewhipe
There's an Australian version of The Room???
awohl231
He obviously flipped them over in an image editor, so we could see them right.
degenerator
They got special computers now to fix that.
jridley
Well clearly you have to photoshop them to flip them over.
MithridateEupator
They are, our brain just knows better and flips the image
usbfridge
Someone needs to repost this with all the pictures upside down and with happy descriptions!
Munchman347
Don't be stupid, he held his phone upside down...
LokiKingOfJotunheim
You can just rotate the photos. I'm pretty sure that's what actual Aussies normally do for us Northern folks. Such a considerate people!
ThatgifwithaCat
Leaveittojebus
This cat knows what's up.
CanadianFurr
Yeah....down.
SlabGizor117
Well he turned them right side up again so we could see them better, duh
tarataqa
and Zero kangaroos. Definitely not Australia!
ImgurMakesMeCringe
But his smile is. :(
burgerandy
Oh! You, guys!
MrIDoK
):
larryqa
:(
Mavgurian
He sold it to a man to pay for the tickets.
areyouponderingwhatimpondering
jimwormmaster
That is horrifying. I agree, someone take photoshop away from that man/woman/attack chopper.
prolificchicken
half eaten sandwich
Mooninites
Good one! Have an upside down upvote ⇂+
Oseirus
So does that mean he's actually enjoying himself?
MercilesslyLazy
(:
TheGuyWhoBeatsHisMeat
:)
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
(:)
StephNugs
):(
AtomicSuperMe
(.)
Madhouse5213
pulled over for using your phone?
allowyn
With P plates that's going to become a real offense soon
lifny
Already has
allowyn
Oh fuck yeah, it's 2017. My b
lifny
Went into effect december 2nd last year. Source: i'm a p plate delivery driver
allowyn
I'm 24 and yet to get my license so listen to this guy as I've only heard through house parties.
GieopJoze
For driving grumpy.
StroneDog
He got pulled over for speeding. He replied to another comment.
TheNextHafthorBjornsson
I really want to know why he was pulled over, this perplexes me.
UnpopularScrotum
Probably some obscure traffic violation.
furrykef
"Yes, but here in Australia we drive on the LEFT side of the road..."
Squelchtone
sir, you must have at least 3 dangerous animals inside the vehicle at all times, I only see this huntsman spider hiding under your sun visor
iknowitsnotbutter
In aus foreigners always get done for speeding, cops here are so damn strict on speeding even slightly and aren't allowed to give warnings.
Jupman
Iphone cookies
Gamma31415
Driving on the wrong side of the road
AgentTempest
Thanks for taking the time to convert all of the pictures into NHO (northern hemisphere orientation)
nevermoron
One of the lesser known EXIF parameters
BlueKarat
You mean Normal Human Orientation.
IconicSean
That's kinda offensive to 'stralians, CUNT! (No offence, we just add Cunt to every sentence we say).
BlueKarat
I always thought cunt was just an Australian punctuation.
MikeCav
Nah, you just call your mates, "cunts" and call cunts, "mates".
IconicSean
Your the best cunt in the world.
ExpectedDickbuttGotDickbutt
ʎllɐnʇɔɐ lnɟʇɔǝdsǝɹsᴉp ʎʇʇǝɹd s,ʇᴉ 'lɐɔol ɐ s∀
RustyCatheter
As an Aussie mobile user I had to turn my phone upside down
Boedith
You're welcome!
lancerudager
In the last picture I imagined that you literally just hopped in a boat and left Australia, straight back to where ever your from.
alsoAzrael
Did that take some fancy software? I hope it didn't cost too much.
whogivesashitnobody
Must ve used style transfer neural networks... They are all rage.
whogivesashitnobody
Must ve used style transfer neural networks... They are all rage.
Fade42
I dont understand
AbsolNE
flippimg
vangundy15
When you get back to the US of A from Australia all pictures will automatically be upside down.
spitfire
Are you guys fucking with me?
ObnoxiousComma
Nope it's legit.
spitfire
My husband is currently face palming me b/c of you terds lol
BobMarIey
Why...?
Tikityler
In case this is a serious question... Australia jokes are often about everything being upside down due to its geographical location.
c30rs
travelling alone. every married man's dream
bachterman
get a bike.
milofuzz
Hence the boredom
darkhavana0512
katakura
also every single mans's dream
MountainsGandalf
Have fun.
poorwhitetrash
The difference between a trip and a vacation is one is with the family and one is without them.
TomRay74
True! I'm going to Vegas alone in March. It is going to be the first time in 15 months since having a baby I can actually sleep a full night
grizzlybear333
I hope it happens for you.
TomRay74
I hope too, I really need it! But things would have to go very wrong for it not to happen. Flight, hotel & conference already booked.
grizzlybear333
Not to jinx you. But after mine, I couldn't get the extra sleep. You hear phantom cries, wake up around 4am anyway or up at 7 wide awake. GL
SivoServoDommyDervo
Why is marriage always painted badly online, I don't understand it.
KharnApproves
I have a strong marriage, but I love being alone sometimes. Just time to sit quietly and re-center
ShovelingSunshine
Probably married the wrong person or got married for the wrong reasons orr not a marrying type of person.
jcarn
Well statistically a whole lot of marriages are failing, so there are plenty of people making poor decisions.
SivoServoDommyDervo
Right, but that's not the problem with marriage, that's the problem with people.
ProfessionalTurtle
Is everything okay at home, c30rs?
LonLonRanchDressing
oh good, a cliche. there's been a shortage of those around here.
ShovelingSunshine
If only, my husbands wants to take the whole family camping! Just go, why do you have to ruin my weekend too?!
ShovelingSunshine
Husband, unfortunately I have only one.
curlytravels86
Every single woman's dream
Theresmyothersock
Also every wife's and mothers dream... well mine at least
SarcasticComment
Backpacking East Asia alone was one of the best experiences of my lifetime
SarcasticComment
Before you complain about me being rich. I did a stint teaching English in Korea and used my savings to live off $18 a day in Cambodia
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
I think you were a little ahead of yourself on that one
SarcasticComment
I've mentioned this before and always get "It would be nice to be rich." I did this at 22 under my own finances.
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
Ok
PCLR
I would fucking love to see pictures and hear any advice you have. I've always wanted to travel/backpack the South Pacific. So beautiful.
SarcasticComment
2/ once you've saved a nest egg, leave your job and be a globe trotting unemployed bum.
PCLR
I did a similar thing. Moved to Hawaii, saved, then travelled the west coast for like 2 months. Probably the best experience of my life.
SarcasticComment
1/ I'd recommend first, teach abroad in Korea (pays best), Japan/Thailand (pay less but more interesting) to collect funds.
PCLR
You get your TESL?
gentlepancake
how long did you travel for? Which countries did you visit?
SarcasticComment
in Asia for 1.4 years. 1 year living in Korea, the rest traveling Japan, China, Indonesia, Malaysia, Cambodia, and Myanmar
gentlepancake
wow! super neat. I've always wanted to visit cambodia or vietnam but I'd only be able to do it for 3 weeks. 1.4 traveling sounds amazing tho
SarcasticComment
Also, the food in Cambodia is amazing. You can never go wrong with local tradition + French culinary influence
SarcasticComment
Cambodia is easy to do on the cheap. They also have a good embassy to get a visa for Myanmar (My personal favorite)
relicsmall
if I could give 10,000,000,000,000 points for this comment I would
FormulatedVagabond
I know my husband would like to, so I hope he does. I also want too. I love travel with and without him.
tarataqa
when you wanna travel without him, HMU gurl.
FormulatedVagabond
Ill be the gurl with marmite smeared on her face. I won't cheat but I will share marmite. Marmite tea, anyone? I should sleep...
tarataqa
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/96/96b2a0e88d9acb36830b4dfb11041bcdcfd416bfe869f6b5fb363c8b7901210c.jpg
FormulatedVagabond
I love Jim
yuyufan43
Every married woman's/ engaged woman's dream too
caleigh
justthoughtyousholdknow
Single women too. I traveled alone it was lovely.
galah
Same here, B.C. to Quebec and back by car. I'm from Australia though, so Canada isn't scary. It was an amazing 3 weeks. I miss it.
OaksParcel
I've driven from Alberta to northern Ontario before and wanted to shoot myself. Glad you enjoyed it, though.
galah
Yeah, but I'm from Australia. Long distances between cities with no public transport is pretty standard. Canada is gorgeous, no hardship.
yuyufan43
Same here. A month in NZ. Fiancé doesn't like traveling. He can suck it and I'll go back. <3
justthoughtyousholdknow
Aww that is great that you will go alone. I know so many women who won't do stuff w/o their SOs
Vvd7734
It's wonderful.
LetsDeviledEggHisCar
Also every parent's dream
BlindyBlindMansSonnySon
As a father and the husband of a wife who refuses to ditch our son for a holiday alone, this year after our family holiday I am going to 1/2
BlindyBlindMansSonnySon
to the south of Spain with my buddy to get drunk as fuck and relaxed as fuck! (After I got my wifes permission of course) 2/2
daerwen
tarataqa
single parent? how you doin?
ClassicFumiko
Amen.
SarcasticComment
Nothing says I love you like ditching the kids at grandma's for 2 weeks so we can fuck off to Europe
InRetrospectIShouldveLearnedToSwimBeforeBecomingaSailor
So we can fuck in Europe*
SarcasticComment
sleep, fuck, do adult things like not plan your existence around the interests/needs of a 6 year old
InRetrospectIShouldveLearnedToSwimBeforeBecomingaSailor
Preach. Turns out no one wants to take holidays with you when you have a 10 year old.
Ruffstarr
Put the bubble machine on for 2 weeks, they should be fine
SarcasticComment
Bubble machine, check. Buckets of water and slop, check. See you kids in a week
Ruffstarr
Exactly! XD
LetsDeviledEggHisCar
As a mom of 2 boys under 2 yrs old, yes. That is literally my dream on some days. Not a real plan, but a recurrent daydream during tantrums
SarcasticComment
As a 28 year old dude, your username is a solid Gilmore Girls reference.
LetsDeviledEggHisCar
You got it!
LemonsAndGarlic
Why do couples all hate each other?
toomanycooks
Right? My BF and I just went to Mexico and saw our favorite band together. Even more in love with him now :')
tartufferie
No hate, but imagine being placed in a group project where suddenly there are no goals or restrictions.
OPisdaOG
I'm 3 days into a four day trip from my hubby. I miss him terribly. I prefer sharing experiences with him.
tarataqa
+1 I hate to travel alone. Not being able to share your experiences with someone next to you is boring af.
OPisdaOG
Right? I do value my space, but he's my best friend. Not being able to share the little things just makes it... empty.
OhnoDinosaur
My mom always said to travel with someone before marrying them because you get to know who they really are. Bad sign if you don't like it.
Mimsey
They don't. It's just the ones who do are the one's making the most noise.
Okiegoon
It's not hate. It's just traveling alone if you've done it before can be amazing. I'm not a planner. I pick a place, direction, and go. 1/2
Okiegoon
wife IS a huge planner. So everything has to have reservations, times of arrival, this that the other. I just let fate decide. We have 2/3
Okiegoon
had some great trips together for sure. But every now and again it would be nice travel solo and have it be just me and where I am.
BacteriumOfJoy
Seriously, I'd love to travel with my boyfriend. I don't know if I'd like traveling alone
[deleted]
[deleted]
SwitchPup
He LOVES the parts of me that I don't like. It's annoying, and frustrating, but...also gratifying, in a way.
BreadyStinellis
Whoa! I never noticed that. But it's because we want to be a better person for our partner. Because they deserve the best. Woah, man.
ladyfoxtrot
This. I like this.
temporarilyhuman
"Look at those thighs. LOOK AT THEM."
lyinglions
TonyBalogna
We don't. It's just hard to have someone else in your face ALL THE TIME.
MeanMisterClean
Because mostly everyone needs some degree of personal time/space/freedom.
MrPessimistic
They don't. I'm married and I love taking trips with my wife. Just a lot of either young people here or bitter older people.
lostnortherner
Same. My wife is my best friend and the funniest person I know. She cracks me up and I can shag her. I'd be bored af traveling without her.
FormulatedVagabond
I'm 25 and married, just 2years,love and like my husband. He should travel alone cause I know he wants to. We also love to travel together.
MrPessimistic
I don't like going alone, only because I'm not a smart person. We do our guys/girls trips with friends, instead. Seriously. I so dumb.
FormulatedVagabond
Same reason I won't go to India alone! Really want to, but I'm pretty sure I'm too stupid. I say that while rubbing my forehead that's sore
FormulatedVagabond
Same reason I won't go to India alone! Really want to, but I'm pretty sure I'm too stupid.
Himgurian
I'm 22 and have been with my gf the last 7 years. We've got a trip to Miami and Bimini booked in March and I can't flippin' wait :)
nvan7891
Hey everyone, look. This 22 year old thinks him and his high school sweetheart got it all figured out. Get back to me in 10yrs.
Eichimaru
Scarytherapistguy
Someone is bitter. I was in the same position several years ago. We parted ways and don't speak anymore, and it was really sad 1/2
Scarytherapistguy
Because no one will ever know you better than your first love. 2/2
bendap
My grandparents were married when he was 17 and she was 15. They were together for over 65 years until she died two years ago.
UIMgiacomo
And that's coming from a guy called Mr. Pessimistic
ITalkAboutGoats
It's like calling the biggest guy in the room Tiny.
MrPessimistic
I have my moments....
AllHoffNoHassle
are you... me?
efemral
I love my wife and family but one day you'll understand that you can at the same time miss having some freedom.
MrPessimistic
True. I am feeling that somewhat with one kid and second on the way, especially at the cabin when I am snowmobiling by myself.
captainhindsightguy
Hey cool, I'm currently travelling in Australia alone too!
JockMcSting
Have you seen the movie Wolf Creek?
iamnotacatatall
Let us know if you need company when you hit Melbourne!
captainhindsightguy
That's so nice of you! Will do
flygonbreloom
Please hit Melbourne outside of Winter! It's so dark and dreary here in Winter!
Boedith
Then you know that it's actually awesome! Hope you have a great trip!
Abuserofgifs
Phew! I'm going in 13 days..you had me worried for a bit!!
GoodGirlImgurian
I'm Aussie & taking my Canadian husband back home for the first time next week... I'm sending him this link so his expectations are low :)
Boedith
Brilliant!
captainhindsightguy
Thank you!
Kneebles
If you want to experience the best of aus come to the Gold Coast
sillyenglishknigit
Or the dandenong ranges. Apart from if they decide to combust, they're IMO one of the best places in Aus (source, I live there)
KZDM
THE TRUTH IS OUT! YOU SECRETLY LOVE US!
MOnte343
If i was you dont drive to bondi beach you wont find a park
EllenCherryCharles
Curious, why alone? Just more freedom/fun? @OP too
captainhindsightguy
Just taking a break from studies. Then I'm gonna go home and join the army
Boedith
Six years in a military uniform, needed some fun me time :)
KZDM
You coming up Brisbane way?
captainhindsightguy
I actually landed there and spent a week there. I am currently ik Coolangatta and absolutely love the place
KZDM
You beaut! Hope you saw Southbank and rode a Citycat! Coolangatta is gorgeous. Where you headed next?
captainhindsightguy
I lived in west end so it was just a short walk to south beach. Brisbane was an interesting experience but Gold Coast is much more my style
captainhindsightguy
I'll probaply travel further south. Might take a pit stop in Byron Bay
KZDM
Do it, people will ask. My favourite stops are a bit silly and not in season. Grafton has a great jacaranda season