TSA social media for the win!

Feb 21, 2018 6:57 PM

FP Edit: Made 'Most Viral' while staying home from work because I'm most viral.

on of my favourite movies

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fun TSA fact, friend and I once traveled through 3 airports before realizing we had accidentally swapped IDs checking out of the hotel.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I understood that reference.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They confiscated my nail clippers... And the store on the other side of security was selling them...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Airport profits man.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I see we have an Office Space fan.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 78 Dislikes 1

Man backpacks like that look kind of ridi-IS THAT STEEL BALL RUN?!?!?! I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I'VE SAID ABOUT THOSE PINS

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Aww shiet, I love Steel Ball Run.

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

nyo ho

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Tell him to go eat shit, Johnny!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Pizza mozzarella Pizza mozzarella rella rella rella

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They should make the minimum 37 pieces of flair. Like pretty boy Brian.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

For all who don't get it: https://vimeo.com/102830089

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This comment section is full of all the ass hats that slow down the lines in the airport.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Really curious what your kids favorite FIDLAR song may be?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm only counting 32 pieces of flair, not 33 unless they counted that button on the back pack as one

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Oh, i got this reference! :)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

FIDLAR!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank you for commenting that which I was too late to comment myself.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm bummed to say I have never seen them live (Always Sold Out)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’ve never seen them either! Have you seen their video with Nick Offerman?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now I've seen nick's dick...funny shit.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hahaha you’re welcome!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I took a class trip to Washington DC after 9/11. Security joked about taking friend's snacks. He didn't realize it was a joke. Good times.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah the tsa proof that the govt can pass anything, despite the response from the citizenship.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

What are you talking about? The TSA got overwhelming support at inception. SAme as the Patriot Act.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Yeah I'm all for poking fun at the TSA, but I'm definitely glad it's there.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I, too, would like to sell you a rock. This one repels gorillas.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'd sell you a rock that repels originality, but it looks like you've already got one.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

3, actually. All my jokes have been replaced by meme templates and mediocre fanfic formats

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im too young to really remember the reception of the patriot act, but i assume it was barely noticed because of some big event.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It was the center of attention because it was a response to 9-11.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

TSA is a bit of a joke here at Bush Airport. You clear TSA, and then can go eat a steak at Chili's and they give you a sharp steak knife.

8 years ago | Likes 211 Dislikes 5

But yet I read of a pilot who was stopped for bringing his own plastic knife, of the same type he'd be given for his meal, through security.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I was at the Toronto airport 3 yrs ago and a woman asked for a knife for her steak they said they couldn’t. She had to use a butter knife.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

*TSA is a bit of a joke

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

TSA is what we called "eye wash" in the military. It's functionless except to present the image of doing something. Like most gun laws.

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 5

And drug laws, but god forbid someone mentions them right? The evil jazz cigarettes will taint your children!!1!1

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

They actually give you a plastic knife. It makes cutting steak very hard.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

TSA is a joke everywhere.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But those knives have been x-rayed to ensure they don't contain bombs. Or other knives.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Is Chili's popular? This girl tried making a joke about Chili's on an online game, not realising that I as a Brit have never seen a Chili's.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don't know if they're popular in the "everybody loves them" sense, but they're all over America

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I like it, but the one by me is never very busy.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I keep thinking it's like a Chimichanga

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Too be honest the knife rule isn't TSAs fault. They were going to let knives on again but the stewards union through a fit.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I really upset that they got rid of the Chili's at MSP.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wait, wait, wait!! You have an airport named after Bush? That's not a problem to begin with?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 16

Either Bush as president sucked arse! Eat me

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Tsa is the goddess of birth and change.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Hey fellow Houstonian!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Hello fellow-fellow Houstonian!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ex-pat here, by way of conroe. Hey y’all! Eat some whataburger for me

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Done!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Eyyyy! :D I keep trying to coordinate a hang out with fellow imgurians. We should all meet at a bar and drink together sometime.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Isn’t the point of being on Imgur to avoid human contact? ;)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What can I say? I'm a walking oxymoron. I hate people but I love going out.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Who the fuck is Brian?

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Alice' brother?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I got randomly selected the last time i went to the airport. I was the first guest under 75, random. Right.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I get “randomly” checked EVERY FUKING TIME!!!! Personally, I think they fuk with Vet’s. Especially Vet’s who handled ordinance.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're not random. Myself and a friend, couple of white dudes, walk right through. Latino family behind us? Randomly selected.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

I've been selected quite a few times and I'm a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I think I saw that video

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Idiot

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 5

You're charming.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

He’s TSA. If you look at his previous comments, he defends them like a child defends their mother.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

They stopped me taking a sewing kit on board (which was actually one of those little button repair things I may haver taken from a hotel).

8 years ago | Likes 232 Dislikes 2

I was allowed on with those long metal nail filers, could def shank someone easy with one of them

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yet I can take metal knitting needles on no problem

8 years ago | Likes 75 Dislikes 0

Just don't knit an Afghan.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

i remember when the airline would GIVE you a sewing kit if you asked for one

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My dad wasn't allowed his nail clippers. He was the pilot of the plane.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

So he couldn't clip his nails while flying XD maybe his Co pilot complained

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When he told me that story, he also pointed out that there's a fire axe mounted to the back of his chair

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lol that is kinda redundant to take away his nail clippers then XD

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't you know? Needles can be deadly v

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I couldn't bring my nail clippers but I got to keep my crochet needles. I could hit the back of the inside of a skull if going through eyes.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

But I'd better not get a hangnail while I do it or it's gonna ruin my damn day

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

gone through the courthouse several times with one of those credit card knifes. asked for the head of security after the 3rd time.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Those knives don't really look like knives on the screens.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

the real issue is i pointed it out on my way out once or twice and the guards didnt give a shit about them.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I got caught with a pair of hemostats that I use for fishing. "You can't bring your roach clip in here sir."

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And yet I got a giant-ass gas mask filter on no problem.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

why would that be a problem? a gas mask (or any part thereof) is not dangerous.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but the TSA lady screaming "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS" when it came up on screen did not exactly inspire confidence.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My husband got past TSA with a folding knife he forgot was in his backpack. They found it at the airport on the way back. Scary as hell.

8 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 0

I once forgot that I had a Leatherman in my bag and found it while I was on the plane. Definitely opted to check my bag on the flight home.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I once lost a knife in a backpack, lots of internal pockets, and found it months later after four flights

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I forgot I had a 1L bottle of water in my bag and got thru SLC TSA no problem. Surprising

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My father lost a knife about 3 years ago. Travels internationally about 6 times a year. TSA in Frankfurt found it two months ago.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 611 Dislikes 3

Username checks out.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

that character just screams i'm voiced by patton oswalt.

8 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Note to self never say good morning to tsa again

8 years ago | Likes 237 Dislikes 0

Don’t you mean... oh Ohhhhhhh

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Bring your own orange marker and dot the hell out of the pass?

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

That just means more guys at once.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I see no issue.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 1

Consider this a divorce..... well, while the body’s warm

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bitch pls you’ll never have my precious seed

8 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

hehe

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Where's that heavily cropped picture of Samurai Jack in full body armor saying no one will ever take his virginity.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

listen up bitch if you don’t play the craft you can’t get the shaft

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Would Berry my dick in her

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This would be cute if the TSA weren’t a bunch of mildly retarded dipshits.

8 years ago | Likes 130 Dislikes 23

Mildly?

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

watch 'Get Out' lol

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got stopped for extra screening one time cause the colored pencils in my bag looked to sharp.

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

“You’re gonna need to dull those down please.”

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Is that what they said or what you think?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 12

No, that's what the guy checking the inside of my bag told me after he'd pulled out my colored pencils.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

I think if you planned on taking over a plane w/ colored pencils, you'd probably not be deterred by how sharp they were.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

"Aw crap, periwinkle is looking a little dull today. Call it off, call it ALL off."

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

*too

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

They had to swab my brand new Nintendo Switch because they thought there was explosives residue on the plastic

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I got stopped in Dallas for a labelmaker and multimode fiber optic cable.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When they asked me if I had anything on me I said my boarding pass, I got patted down for that...

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Because it was in your pocket genius

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 4

This.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

They have this delightful habit of telling you to do a thing and then screaming bloody murder when you comply with the request.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

"Laptop out of the case and in a separate bin. SIR REMOVE THE LAPTOP FROM THE BIN AND PLACE IT IN A SEPARATE BIN."

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I have to take a bunch of gear in carryon

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Still within limits but every time I fly TSA loses their head when I follow the directions on the signs.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Most of 'em are just guys and gals trying to enforce a bunch of mutually exclusive bureaucratic regulations.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Most of them are brain-damaged drop outs with no marketable skills, that's how they wound up going for the job in the first place.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Do you personally know any? I do. You're wrong according to what I've heard from the sources.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I do. I also know that they aren't allowed to hire based on merit, which is why they're mostly useless dropouts with no marketable skills.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

I guess you would know since your a TSA dipshit yourself

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 8

Wow dude, look at you get AGRO over the comments on this post.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Found the TSA agent!!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

So because I fly a lot for business and I know they are here to keep us safe I am TSA? Dumbass

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Congrats on flying a lot, that sure is unique. They don’t keep anyone safe. It’s pretend security for morons like you.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Says the moron

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Try being in their shoes.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 23

Might as well, they made me take mine off!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Sure, they took mine.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

I'd try that, but I can't wear shoes through security.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Try being mildly retarded? I’m sure it’s tough!

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 7

Not for you

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

It must feel awesome to annoy pineapples for the smallest reason!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not my job, just think it's stupid that so many people judge without being in that position.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The position of being useless idiots with a pointless job? They deserve to be judged.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Sure thing man, apparently can't be rational with you.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0