PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
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Paramedics came about 5 minutes after she was delivered.
Anyone have a van for sale....
FP Edit:
You guys rock. Thanks for all the kindness and stuff...We found a detailing place that was closed for the 4th, but said they would detail the van anyway. I will keep you posted on that.
I hear people send stuff? Enjoy your 4th! I know I am!!
bigtigger53
THE PROPHESIES HAVE FORETOLD OF THIS MOMENT, WHEN TEDDY ROOSEVELT WOULD REINCARNATE ON THIS VERY DAY. YOUR CHILD IS THE GOD OF FREEDOM
theslybanananana
Oh
rdh57451
Her face reads tired and fucking tired. But a very well said congrats OP. I truly hope you the best in all of your family's travels.
SanSamis
Happy birthday lil cuz! Today's my bday too!
KuramaKitsune
im eating here...
shadowrevenge
Grats. ..now be a awesome dad..and don't stuff up..raise them right! !!
GIFcomment
kpmatias
What you saved in medical fees can be put towards a good car detailing.
blakeice
Thank God you got leather seats. A little armor all and pine tree freshener and you are set to watch some fireworks!
StackOfPooPooPancakes
I like how I have an Uber ad right below this
Twinklepot
Congratulations OP! Maybe you have a future career as a midwife!
DivorcedOfCourse
Happy 1yr to the mama!!! I fully believe moms should be celebrated on the birth of their children
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Thank you. And you know what, you are so right!
VikingDan
"Are you gonna eat that?"
IStillSeeNipple
What, the placenta?
Bonnedad
You actually store it with cord blood registry
comisohigh
Said the witch overseeing the baby
coffeeandmascara
If you don't name that child something like George Eagel-Burger "Guns n' Tits" Washington then we will all be very disappointed in you
u2bist
Do they still charge for showing up when it's over and just cooing at the baby?
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
They do, indeed...
73isthebestPRIMEnumber
I thaught this only happend on tv. Congrats OP.
nommon
That kid is either going to be happy to always have fireworks on their birthday or sad that it always gets ignored in favor of the holiday.
vudis
Congrats OP, also that paramedic woman only looks happy because she didn't need to help birth the baby (I know)
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
She was very upset that we did not wait for her. She said she has never gotten to deliver a baby, but wants to badly!
PlsNoDownVoterino
Aye I was born on the 4th too! I'd have a beer with that baby in 20 years
TheOmnipotent
Hey! Same!
PlsNoDownVoterino
21*
cpentproj
Stupid laws.
IhaveTP4Bunghole
Cute fuck trophy.
DinosaurFromThe90s
Hahahaha
ANIMEJESUS
"Fuck trophy" best thing is heard since "trashed panda".
ogotai
The only trophy you don't put in the cupboard
crazy4butts
well why not?
Cthulhukitten
Really? You call the back of a bloody head cute?
LGMHorus
A newborn is by far the cutest bloody thing you can ever see.
futureman3000
More like a participation award.
Learnedtocryinternally
That was no fireworks, that was a perianal tear and shit squirting.
doctorbees
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/bbet.gif
Learnedtocryinternally
Oh, and congrats! Parenthood is amazing!
CoomebackKidd
Saw my first child born up close. Can confirm.
foolhollow
I really hope you weren't "too close."
Learnedtocryinternally
Bud, we just had our 2nd one in May, I DID NOT LOOK DOWN THERE THIS TIME!!
gynonurseifixyourladybits
Like watching your favorite bar burn to the ground
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
I accidentally looked the first time, and it is a good thing I did!
theycallmehiphopapotomus
Omg I regret looking down and I'm the mum.
Eeksy
I'm 8 months pregnant and supposed to deliver in a hospital 30 minutes away. Crossing my fingers this doesn't happen to me!!! Haha
theycallmehiphopapotomus
30 minutes is a ton of time! You'll rush to the hosp then spend several hours being bored lol
Eeksy
I hope so! I'd rather be bored than have to clean out that car!
theycallmehiphopapotomus
Bahahaha...take towels!
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Ours was 36 minutes away. This was an extreme situation though. Her water did not break until about 2 minutes before the arrival.
Eeksy
My last labor was 21 hours, so I've probably got loads of time. I hope.
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Holy long time, Batman! Second one is faster, apparently, but you should still have plenty of time! ha
nalewhine
How long did her contractions start before you left the house?
Eeksy
Update: almost had her in the car. Arrived at the hospital 9cm dilated and had her 20 minutes later. Close call!!!
Eeksy
I think you and I both need to move closer to a hospital!
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Hahaha congratulations! Close call. We passed 3 hospitals on our way lol
Napsaremymistress
My wife is 8 months pregnant and we live in a rural area. I'm scared this will be me. Good job though @op!
Sugarbritches21
Have a plan, an overnight bag in the car as well as towels, string, scissors, and water
theycallmehiphopapotomus
You'll be fine! I'm excited for you even though you're a complete stranger lol.
Napsaremymistress
Haha, thanks!
pragmatao
I don't think you'll give birth in a car.
madamvastra
My sister almost had her son in the car b/c the hospital was over an hour away. Got there just in time! He was her third kid, tho.
carotidsinusmassage
Read up on emergency delivery just in case
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Well, how did it go??
Napsaremymistress
It went great! Made it to the hospital with plenty of time. Actually went to dr for check up and the dr said we should go to hospital now.
Napsaremymistress
Got an amazing 11 month old lil boy now. How's yours doing?
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Thata awesome! Congrats. She's doing great. Breaking hearts and what not already...
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
That's awesome! Congrats! She is doing great. Breaking hearts and what not already...
nalewhine
Will this be her first? It's pretty unlikely to be this quick on her first. Unlikely, but I guess not impossible.
theycallmehiphopapotomus
My first was so bloody quick I didn't even realise I was having contractions while I was doing the shopping lol. Never say never!
Napsaremymistress
Yeah it's our first. I doubt it would happen. It's an irrational fear, like a ceiling fan falling when on high speed.
SteevyT
idk, I've seen some pretty terrifying ceiling fans.
nalewhine
I feel you. I'm 21weeks. I live 5mins away, but I work 35. I'm hoping I'm in the average who go into labor at night.
Napsaremymistress
In hoping the same. We live about 30 min from the hospital, but I work roughly 70 miles away.
nalewhine
Oh god. 70 miles is a little scary.
caramelballoffur
Thag actually happen at a warehouse where i used to work...
Napsaremymistress
In an industrial setting? That is horrifying
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Oh yeah, Mom and baby are both fine! Apparently, I missed my calling as a doctor. And the carnage!!!
JacksonsDaddy
You'll never be able to smell day-old pickles again without thinking of your baby
andrewtater
That's gross! A minivan?! Also, congrats on the sex
GreenLanternMD
...or you missed your calling as a cab driver.
letmemakeyouasandwich
Congratulations!!!!!!
theycallmehiphopapotomus
Aw OP this is gorgeous! Well done. I'm sitting here on the other side of the world just beaming for you! Congratulations
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Thank you! She will be daddy's little princess!
coreunit
Did somebody say carnage?
suffyr
So much blood! Congrats on the kid!
Dokramuh
CARnage. Nice.
Everythingisracist
Happy reupholstery day!
RowRowFightThePowa
You in 12 years: "Look at this my child, you were a car baby, and you turned out fine. No need for those fancy hospitals!"
PinkPrincess007
Car baby XD
ImAMaineiac
I thought a baby got hit by fireworks, I was terrified
popcorntea
Curious: Do you live far from a hospital or was this just a super fast delivery?
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Super fast delivery. She was out in about 10 minutes after her water broke.
forevercatsrainbowsandsunshine
I'm assuming not her first child?
emotionallydevoid
They don't warn you about those... Luckily, ours was an induction, but it's terrifying. Congrats to mom, I'm sure she was freaking out.
CMcAwesomeville
Holy sh*t, that's fast! I taught my youngest one was fast, All happened within the hour! And may I ask the name of your little firework?:-)
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Sorry guys. This was not my intention.
sithney
double-dip all you want, Pop. what's your new broodling named?
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Juliana
sambekal
I love that! Congratulations!
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Thanks! It is the only name we both immediately agreed on.
RonPaulWasAnInsideJob
That car is gonna need a deep cleaning.
Jusmar
That car will never be the same
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
I feel as though I need a deep cleaning...
emuthegreen
Peroxide on it all and hope for the best
warsteel
There is no clean deep enough my friend.....no clean....
WHOWANTSTHEFIRSTSLICE
Armor All can only do so much.
Tastesicle
At least the seats are vinyl/leather. Believe it or not, that's only a hundred bucks to detail.
kjb72
If biohazard is involved you can't ask them to clean that. At least I wouldn't.
Tastesicle
Well... I mean, you could mop up a bit to be nice. When I was detailing when I was a kid, I saw much worse. Like taxi cab worse.
Taraxacumofficinale
Work stories @tastesicle ?
Speldrawng
There are professionals who do that. @OP should probably not attempt it himself.
FlickTigger
The crime scene cleaning people specialize in cleaning gross things.
TheYoungWolf91
I mean so far he's 1 for 1
RetailTherapist
In California they list you as the delivering physician on the birth certificate. That's pretty awesome.
therocksfannypack
What?!
RetailTherapist
They also list the place. So we know someone who's kid has Holiday Inn on there.
FBomb1031
New York does this too, I'm a Rt. 690 kid.
TwistedTails
I can beat that, I was born on a bathroom floor in washington!..... At least she missed the toilet?
FiatLuxIam
haha, twisted tails indeed ;) also, grats on dodging the world's earliest "swirly" hahaha
kpmatias
Mile side marker 38 on Route 66 ?
periwinklepanda
My friend who also delivered in a car on her baby's birth certificate place of delivery is listed as car
kpmatias
Car? That's kinda lame. I would totally push for a home delivery to be listed as "Love Shack"
nomorehumans
Props on delivering your own child @OP that's awesome.
Mylovelyladylumps
No that's America!
leathersmt
Agreed, happy baby, happy 4th. Congratulations Mom.
pikakid24
Your username contradicts this comment
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Thank you. It was, of course, not an ideal situation. Haha
whyaminotstudying
You've got some extra level dad props forever now.
DonnerVarg
My brother delivered his first. Proceeded to faint promptly as soon as the hospital had mom and baby covered.
Ihmhi
did you pick up the kid Lion King style and roar by the side of the road please tell me you did don't disappoint me i need this
WellingtonNewZealand
You're wife might not think so now, but a natural birth is a gift. I had one and I'm so happy I did, My empathy levels went through the roof
WellingtonNewZealand
and I feel like it left my stronger having survived it. it IS crazy dangerous though, I had mine in a hospital still.
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
Dude, you have a story most fathers would kill for, thats amazing.
ununq
Agree with op. I am very relieved both my kids were delivered at the hospital. Its a bad-ass story though!
DLVX
As do I. No thanks. Bad-ass, but I'll pass.
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
I am not going to lie, I would have preferred having an experienced professional handling our @biologicallyhazardousmaterial
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
Haaaaaa i see what you did there! Plus one good sir.
SpookyxAction
That has to be the biggest oh shit moment hahahaha
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
Funny thing is odds are she had an "oh shit" on the floor of the car.
SpookyxAction
Your user name is still on the floor of that poor car hahahaha
GoodbyeSoberDay
...so, if you sell that car does this show up on the carfax report?
nahvi
Car fox? We got those
brownsugga
It'll be sold as "well maintained, adult owned, always garaged, never smoked in" car
MakeMeACakeOrGrillMeASteak
You are technicay correct, the best kind of correct
ClassicSpike
Does it count I hit a fox with my car
freezingpilot
Let's be honest. The stains/smell are never gonna leave that car.
jyhwkntx
looks like leather tho
novaprime
They will. Source: sister born in car. Granted those seats were red....
PrinceHumperdinckHumperdinckHumperdinck
Amazingly, there are no stains! And my man over at the detailing place did such an amazing job, there was never any smell!
freezingpilot
+1 Year and 2 days...
nameisunavailable
Just take out the passenger seat and burn it, you can get another one from a junkyard
MatrimBloodyCauthon
*Seinfeld* IT STILL SMELLS!!!
CaptainAnus
DickWhiskers
Username checks out
AceofShades
human spit is about the only thing that takes blood out of leather.
RedVagOfCourage
I feel like there's a story here...
AceofShades
I Make airplane interiors for a living. spit is the only thing that takes blood out
cryborg
I feel like there is more to the story...