Evil Overlord Rules

Sep 7, 2017 3:20 AM

Felman

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171101

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4578

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148

Someone with this much sense would never make it as a super-villain...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

God help us all... this silly goose has planned everything down to the finest minutia

8 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

.....the wires on mmy bombs will be all red.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As much as I like this list, a movie or comic would probably be boring if it implemented all of them.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This was amusing the first 10000000000000000000 times it was reposted.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

And only up to the 3rd variation of "I will not gloat over / hold monologues in front of my captured nemeses".

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#31 is truly evil

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

With all this good planning, you seem less and "evil overlord" and more a selfish, yet fair, bureaucratic administrator. That's not bad.

8 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

evil overlord rules #101. I will not openly publish these rules on the Internet for anyone to see and anticipate me or find weaknesses

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#44 "There is nothing more reliable than a man whose loyalty can be bought for hard cash." https://youtu.be/FnF3beuV8jU?t=495

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The Evil Overlord Rules date back to the days 4chan actually had CP on the first page 120/100 times

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

Good luck with #50.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html - complete list (also has links to additional rules in the Cellblocks under the list)

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#21 A talented fashion designer like Hugo Boss? Wait...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#21 Fuck that. Go for body armor and active camouflage, if available.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

TAKE A NOTE, EMPEROR OF MANKIND!

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Do you offer dental cover? Henchman number 1 reporting for duty!

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Username checks out...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Remind me of: (The Order of the Stick #0766) (Awesome D&D epic fantasy comic)

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

http://goblinscomic.com/comic/11272006 Or this. (Page prior, he was throwing to distract the guards.)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

when those rules were written, the average user on here wasn't even born.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The list showed up in 1994 and was based on an SNL skit from 1988. I knew it's been around for a while, but I'm a bit surprised by how long.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I know the gal who posted most of these to Usenet about a hundred years ago.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#99 Eh, practically impossible these days. Especially if it's possible to find where the padding is. Encryption is far better.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Padding to 4.01GB would at least defeat FAT32 storage unless they carry a copy of 7-zip or similar with them. (You don't?)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just download winrar really quick and you're set.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Being an evil overlord is hard these days. It's all about people skills.

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Now now Harry, don't get sentimental.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i heard fascism gets really popular again

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

And some surprisingly progressive social policies.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

To be completely honest a lot of these seem like they could provide some significant problems on their own.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#64 Wouldn't they try to treat your antisocial megalomania? Which would kinda take the fun out of being an evil overlord...

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Only if you would agree to it. Informed consent, and most psychiatrists and psychologists believe that forced treatments are never okay.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Can you even be cured of most bad habits movie bad guys have? Are they not the sort that gets locked away.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The key is to get an evil psychiatrist.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

As it is for so many of life's problems.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

These are all great. But in the moment I bet you break quite a few of these rules.

8 years ago | Likes 93 Dislikes 0

I most definitely WILL take the time to psychologically torture my captives. What's the point if you don't get to see them break inside?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#77 "If I have a fit of temporary insanity, I will retain enough sanity to..." Is that really a choice?

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Exactly

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

You see, I think it's just a good recommendation. What makes you think that the head honcho wont work as hard and efficient as their grunts?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I feel like there's a movie in these somewhere.

8 years ago | Likes 143 Dislikes 0

Maybe one where the bad guy wins(and completely dominates)? I'd be down for that.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd love to see Tarantino's Dungeon Master.

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

I feel like these would sap most of the fun out of an evil overlord story.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

The interview.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

did you know that dogs only have sweat glands in their paws?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Your mom only has sweat glands in her paws.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Son of a bitch

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and in her dick too

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Fair enough

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#101 No capes

8 years ago | Likes 154 Dislikes 2

Learn from The Incredibles movie

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Definitely, they always get caught in crap.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The addendum is that if you must where a cape make it a clip on

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Some of these are good, but at least half of them would be broken within a few days. You can't account for the human condition.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

or like...the ability to maintain a structure. "Make All the maps inaccurate!!" You really think you could staff a Death Star with only--

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

staff capable of remembering this, AND every other nonsensical deviation from logic meant to foil a "Hero"?? It's completely ridiculous!--

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not to mention that many of the other rules quietly ignore logical arguments. Stormtroopers are not individually identifiable for a reason--

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Exhaust ports generally have structural purposes that are necessary; you can't let your Evil Fortress combust or asphyixate the staff--

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and and and point being that I have a hard time being fun at parties...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just have small exhaust ports that run throughout the structure so nothing big can go through, plus, free heating!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Helmets covering faces is useful in the sense that anonymity makes people much more willing to do awful things.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You still have to solve the security issue. I'd just use 'em in very specific circumstances. Like an executioner. Sheriff knows the guy 1+

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2+ and watches him put on the hood, escorts to the job. Escorts from the job. Anonymity kept, but personal ID still relevant. Guards do NOT

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

3/3 need to be anonymous. They're to protect your shit. You want 'em to be heroic on your behalf.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Most commanders wouldn't be able to recognize every single face anyway

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why would the commander be involved in detecting problems? They do resolution. You just need to know your squad and visitors. Personally? 1+

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2+ for that inevitable "Change of plans" bluff, the warning it's bullshit when checking in should be "No, I have the orders here. 100%

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

3/3 verified. Let them through. You coming to the BBQ tomorrow?" to say "It's bullshit, lead 'em to a trap, response is coming in hot."

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0