Toasty stuff

Mar 14, 2016 5:24 PM

25BravoLife

Views

159638

Likes

7847

Dislikes

344

I don't like being roasted I prefer to be pan-seared

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Most of these are old, but the first few were now to me and JFC they're some of the most savage I've seen.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Raoste me

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I honestly, definitely, never want to be roasted! ????

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think the Vladimir's son is my favourite...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#5 looks like a certain high school girl whose best friend is too gay to function

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

One "library card renewal" please.

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 3

[insert top comment from last time]

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Lost it at Rumspringa…that's an obscure reference in much of the world...

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I don't get the marine picture?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

There are homeless people out there with signs that say somewhere along the lines of Homeless Vets, God bless and such.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Oh, I see.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That kids a fucking boot lmao

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Why'd you get downvoted for calling him a boot lmfao

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Could be a salty lance that is mid transition from his busted down state to terminal butterfly.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I still find it disturbing that ppl ask to get bullied like this. There's no difference.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 5

Man, words can be super hard even on thick skin....

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I still find it disturbing that you get on peoples cases for doing what they want -- and what they want is attention and/ or a good laugh.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I guess if it gives vicious people an outlet other than bullying people who *didn't* ask for it, that's... an improvement? I guess?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Some people enjoy letting others hurt them. I believe they're called masochists.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I guess that's the difference between you and them, they have thick skin. Let them make their own choices.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Damn right, just like some people choose to smoke

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Private Butler coaching boots how to shoot.. LFMAO

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I know the guy in the background... I'm about to roast this guy in real life.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not going to lie - I'd be pissed if my PMI was a boot.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why don't people do the opposite of roasts, getting compliments from strangers would make a lot of peoples' days

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

I'm pretty sure there is one and it's called /r/boastme

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It should be called #toastme

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Sad thing is, whenever an attractive girl wants to be Roasted, all these eternal virgins can come up with is 'lol u look like slut!'

10 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 6

It's the standard insult for attractive girls with no obvious physical flaws. It's winning the roast.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And for attractive dudes it's a slightly clever variation of "you're gay." It's hard to insult people superficially when they're attractive

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Or about how they get fucked

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Let's see what you come up with. Go ahead. Standing by.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 6

Um..uh....swallow any XL "swords" lately?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The eyebrow toner lady you can just tell she lives in the uk

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I don't get it. It just seems like a convenient way to degrade women and make rape seem like it's not the horrific that that it is.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

Notice how the pretty girls always get dissed with slut jokes too? It's like when they can't find shit on them that's their last resort.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

They're angry because they know those pretty girls wouldn't let them lay a finger on her.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

These are all just shitty stabs in the dark. "Roasting" is bullshit if you don't actually know anything about the person.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

#13 is actually one of my friends in school

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Right ok

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

/a/qlV59

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hmm maybe....maybe for once a user is telling the truth...:

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

:)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Either way you get an upvote. I'm sure you understand muh skepticism

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DONT DISS THE TRAINS MAG

10 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Choo Choo MFucker

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

http://imgur.com/uBBw3lg

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Got me on Rumspringa + 1

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Woman - "You have too much sex, loser". Man - "You don't have enough sex, loser".

10 years ago | Likes 476 Dislikes 12

Everytime.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 4

Damn, you fucking nailed it.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Nailed it.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

more like hot = too much, ugly = too little

10 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 2

True, though I doubt a hot guy would be roasted for sleeping around. Maybe "you're gay, lol"

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Muslim - "you are terrorist". Black - "you are poor/a criminal". Asian "nerd"

10 years ago | Likes 138 Dislikes 1

Yeah its these roasts are getting very repetitive.

10 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 4

"I coach Marines how to shoot", has no rank on. FFS, boots lie about anything now days.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Yeah... never had a PMI that was 12 years old. That didn't pass the sniff test.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Glad I'm not the only one too notice this.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lesbi-honest, we'd all go to the library of wherever the last one works in

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Agreed

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can we make honey roasts a thing? That's when someone posts a photo, and people just say nice things about them. Is that fun?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There is a sub-reddit for this, it's called toast me. :D

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

More fun than making people feel like shit, imo.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Why are there always so many reposts with roastme dumps?

10 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

A larger question - why on earth would you want people to roast you? Because you feel good about yourself for a minute?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because really good roasts are a combination of the right face and the right commenter, a very rare event.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Cause they are hardly ever good...

10 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

So we have to squeeze every last bitter drop of "entertainment" out of them by reposting until they run dry.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

It's extremely hard to find anything good in the subreddit, and you don't want to be the one picking through all the shitty comments.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I don't reddit at all - are the submissions bad or the roasts bad? or just not enough submissions?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Both, really. Some of the better ones get upvoted to the top, others die in obscurity. Most submissions have a handful of replies only.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've got loads of overdue books.

10 years ago | Likes 1822 Dislikes 8

Same

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Loads...

10 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

She's also got loads... of something

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Tracts of land?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, that's not really a roast. She got off easy

10 years ago | Likes 298 Dislikes 0

So did I.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Way to kill the jo-....oh.

10 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 2

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Damn - she's young, pretty, and stacked. I'd like to spit-roast her with my girlfriend.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 15

Loads

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bring a thicker sweater too, she's clearly cold

10 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 1

A quick glance suggest piercing

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The left one looks pierced, but the right one looks like it's just poking through.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think that's just a shadow. I inspected the image thoroughly.

10 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

Well man, she is not cold, she is waiting for those over due books

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Time to unload

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I just remembered I have to renew my library card. Thanks!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

overdue *boobs

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

But are any of them as sexy as me?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Pffft. Amateurs. These are all compliments in comparison to the emotionally devastating shit I say about myself. I'm ruthless D:

10 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 6

<3

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I recently posted to roastme they only could come up with racist jokes (and none of them guessed the nationality right) it made me confident

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Don't brag when you have such easy subject matter.

10 years ago | Likes 83 Dislikes 1

bruh! +1

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Could someone please apply some burn cream to my bum :'(

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Aw, chin up kid. We are our own worst critic.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Damn

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Never seen the "rape whistle/referee" roast before. Therefore +1 to you.

10 years ago | Likes 496 Dislikes 6

The oil on her forehead one was decent.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

that's where I lost it.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

I hope you find whatever it is you lost!

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

if it's virginity, just go ahead and look at the University of Washington guy's pic to get it back apparently

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That first one seems funny. Never seen a pvt be a coach.

10 years ago | Likes 306 Dislikes 1

You don't wear rank at the range

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You really think someone would go on the internet and lie?

10 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

He got it backwards and gave his rank to the expert shooters.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

In the army marksmanship program you take turns, one shoots and the other coaches, really just pointing out the things you cant see

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

But that Marine, yea bragging about coaching is about the same as bragging about being a road guard that POG piece of shit

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

That boot fuck is lying his ass off

10 years ago | Likes 188 Dislikes 2

I know him, but I won't disagree with your claim.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

But guyyysss its the internet!do people lie on the internet?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes he is.

10 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

Yup. Why the fuck does he have a rifle if he's coaching too?

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

More likely the coach said "here, hold this" then posted it since you basically do whatever anyone tells you to as a boot.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

How do we know? And what's with the car window?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Referencing how our soldiers come home jobless and therefore he begs on a corner for one or for food.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I would love to say the same but he actually isn't.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 7

You're right

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How do you know?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He is engaged to my sister.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Look back at the comment tree, the guy posted proof. He's legit.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey it's me. I'm the first one. 2 NJPs will make a coach be a Private http://imgur.com/jmR9TLT

10 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Well I'll be damned.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well shit, after looking at it again I saw your haircut and thought there might be some salt there and thought I may have to eat my words

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Hahah all good dude! I posted it to get roasted anyway.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nice bro. Gotta love the njps.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't think of it as getting busted down, think of it as "Private, Second Award"

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

@jackspulsatingurethra owes somebody an apology

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I just said it seemed funny at least I wasn't a dick about it like some people were.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He's on ammo detail, so it's kinda like coaching. I mean there's numbers bigger than 10 involved.

10 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

take these 10 round clips and use this peice of metal and fill a 30 round magazine. Ammo detail isnt hard :D

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Like I said, numbers bigger than 10 lol.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also, it's such a knee-jerk reaction at this point that I almost corrected your correct use of clips....

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

was waiting for someone to say its not a clip :D 3 stripper clips go into the mag :p

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0