uweapon

1025 pts · September 8, 2016


I'm heading to early dementia anyway. Might as well go fix fukoshima with the old dudes.

1 month ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I lived across the street from a church and graveyard. The only bad part was the speakers that played the church bells were totally blown out.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

These cows are small. Those cows are far away.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Look at me I'm a human I go to work and have anxiety

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Milkfat doesn't count as saturated fat anymore so you can have whole chocolate milk with your morning pizza.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You might have to settle for snapping the strap and saying it ain't going nowhere. That's like bro retirement.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bocce?

3 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Why are they painting so many vulvas? Is this a rosharch test?

4 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Dentists don't have sinks anymore and I hate it.

4 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Someone at my old job found out that meeting requests weren't archived for FOIA and that sensitive material could be contained. We had to switch email providers for 5,000 users.

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Eat AT...

4 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm an elder millennial and bought a house in my 20s. I was approved for WAY more than I could have handled. Thankfully I bought a cheap place but I had to eat my parent's for years and I sold it 14 years later for $500 less than I paid.

Others weren't so lucky, over bought, and defaulted because someone thought it was a good idea to loan them nearly ten times their salary.

4 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It sounds like you've met a farm girl or two.

5 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I got hotel and just assumed it was the name of a Welsh town

6 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ours is called Busy Beaver

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And no bees!

6 months ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Take me home mountain daddy

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

My girlfriend told me to put a sock on my hand to play with the cat. Then the cat constantly attacked my feet.

8 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Stella wasn't sure 😭

8 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Silicosis? Safety third.

9 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I ripped a toenail off on a water slide

10 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My old office didn't even have perforated toilet paper.

10 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Untied a knot no one else could and took a nap half way through. Loved animals. Oddly athletic. Took a bite of a candy bar over the bite of another kid who was black ; didn't recognize social norms. Kissed a buffalo.

10 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maniac Macgee. I didn't realize it was about an autistic kid until I was an adult.

10 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I'm the only one who can close a door in my family.

11 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Nice

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pixie?!

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Sewage and septic sucking services

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is that Steve and baby Robert or Bindi?

1 year ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0