Extra points if the bird is alive
-4
4
416
The #1 song that make men cry
-4
12
713
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
42
9
1544
You are wise and powerful grammy
48
5
1468
My interpretation? Early romantic period piece depicting the divine nature of cappuccino
48
7
1612
Don't you want to bang me?
38
10
1700
That is one tough job interview
558
17
19411
Holy sh*t, I have 21 seasons to catch up on?
442
87
23642
Wait, didn't he just reveal the concept of a plan is coming in two weeks?
71
5
579
Girls better hold on to your boyfriends when I whip out this move at the club
611
50
22821
You can still kill someone, just slowly with cholesterol
27
31
1316
We'll be extending your sessions indefinitely
31
1
1289
I don't know. I'd probably have the biggest smile there.
45
25
2123
Bonus points: hook them up to power your generators
40
7
1531
So do you have an off ramp for this Iran thing?
17
4
1180
The perfect worker
39
7
1102
What's life without mud puppies?
26
11
1417
What helicopter?
21
5
1778
The rules are the rules
46
11
1738
I am versatile in my ineffectiveness
37
14
1067
Next level: mailman
49
1
1774
Does anyone have the recording of this?
48
7
1205
The real question is whether they're still bffs
51
26
1827
This new religion has monster appeal
227
43
11058
Gave up long ago
-7
2
184
Keep your marriage fresh and lively, I say
45
4
1587
I don't ask questions. I just follow orders.
298
14
13519
Funnier if it weren't the truth
-1
5
315
How many stars did the wife give 'em?
29
3
1056
You want to live a long miserable life don't you?
23
4
786
Daily carry
21
4
1021
I'd like to believe those few seconds of delay reflect my intact humanity
29
0
1285
Deep REM sleep is the key to good health
24
2
1112
How to give exhilaration and depression at the same time
30
8
1265
Have we tried adding vodka to chicken soup? It’s already got the vegetables.
347
22
17782
I’m doing my part to achieve optimal fitness
414
50
20017
Marriage is a dangerous game
385
77
20525
Introducing the 3 second full body workout
42
6
4448
Someone attended the Waffle House 3-day management conference
21
2
1316
Runny poo is my cut off line
30
8
836
We aren't responsible but we are to blame
48
8
691
And thus the birth of man caves
13
13
1049
Fact: 82% of players enjoy the bootster
31
4
1418
News from the front
348
11
16816
The capacity for human self harm seems to be limitless
51
19
2106
Grandparents still come through because they usually have no clue what you’re into
27
7
1045
Perhaps only at the Vegas branch
35
9
1477
It’s also eating the geeks
258
41
14229
Possible
14
17
1045
Mammaries of disguise
36
3
1374
Wouldn't surprise me if we are also the universe's #1 reality TV show
254
31
12358
*gulp*
45
45
2846
Facial ticks intensifying
263
35
13821
I counter your skull crushers with tongue curls
35
7
1549
Long sleeves are great for hiding scars and boils
29
6
1055
Parental dilemmas
245
33
13188
Queen of the but
331
6
16018