shootxthexmessenger

164997 pts ยท August 15, 2011


If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck up because that cunt's a cunt. Peace out cunts.

Got my dog a new accessory at a veterinary conference this weekend.

Points 10
Comments 14
Views 1129

And here we have The Doctor depicted in a 1798 painting depicting Caesar's assassination.

Points 5
Comments 4
Views 1827

Oh, cool, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is on! Wonder which episode it is?

Points 8
Comments 6
Views 280

Fuck you guys.

Points 27
Comments 33
Views 43451

I went to The Florida Aquarium today and learned that corals are a bunch of filthy whores.

Points 10
Comments 3
Views 244

When people talk about The Thick of It / In the Loop, it's always about Malcolm. Jamie is totally underappreciated.

Points 9
Comments 3
Views 1351

Me with my first cat, circa 1991

Points 13
Comments 2
Views 141

I just wanted to play Mario Kart 64.

Points 27
Comments 24
Views 283

Beau got a bath, blow dry, and brush out. I think it may be time for a haircut.

Points 8
Comments 3
Views 182

Just shut the fuck up about it.

Points 23
Comments 23
Views 107

What I imagine my reaction will be should I ever meet Tom Hiddleston.

Points 20
Comments 8
Views 2324

The Iron Sheik is just a regular guy.

Points 23
Comments 6
Views 1439

When you encounter stupidity, just remember Tucker's Law.

Points 54
Comments 8
Views 2189

Overcompensating for something?

Points 39
Comments 8
Views 1570

My friends and I need a fourth for an online Cards Against Humanity game.

Points 9
Comments 2
Views 233

Here's your history lesson for the day:

Points 79
Comments 28
Views 38

This one goes out to @inalltheverse

Points 15
Comments 7
Views 1794

MRW I find out that a 2014 calendar of hot Catholic priests is totally a thing.

Points 8
Comments 5
Views 873

What I imagine Tom Hiddleston's reaction would be if he could hear us right now.

Points 9
Comments 8
Views 1186

My plans for New Years Eve.

Points 32
Comments 9
Views 10870

Somebody decided to give Phil a second chance.

Points 52
Comments 5
Views 1921

My best friend who lives across the state (@inalltheverse) visited this weekend. Watching her drive away back home like this.

Points 27
Comments 13
Views 9134

Going through an old desktop I used while in college for my education degree, found this saved my homework folder.

Points 26
Comments 1
Views 119

Dad looked over my shoulder and saw a video featuring Courtney Act on my computer. He said "Wow, she's gorgeous, who is she?"

Points 59
Comments 19
Views 9484

I'm not sure what my neighbors did wrong, but apparently I'm supposed to go all Batman on their asses.

Points 26
Comments 11
Views 213

And America's next drag superstar is....

Points 11
Comments 0
Views 319

Anyone in Florida looking to add a mastiff to the family?

Points 19
Comments 5
Views 45

First year as the adult child of divorced parents.

Points 19
Comments 4
Views 16632

The TV ads for this movie feature the tag line "Believe in love..."

Points 18
Comments 26
Views 145

STEP AWAY FROM THE RAMEN.

Points 76
Comments 13
Views 2696

My deepest heartfelt apologies to my friends who are attending my Halloween party tomorrow.

Points 24
Comments 9
Views 2040

Solid advice from Jerri Blank.

Points 17
Comments 2
Views 1424

If this is your dog, GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Points 57
Comments 11
Views 415

That's enough Imgur for today. Seriously, I'm worried about you.

Points 21
Comments 4
Views 128

I'm yet again a broke college student.

Points 26
Comments 27
Views 19255

My county issued it's very first marriage license to a same-sex couple this morning.

Points 17
Comments 14
Views 1366

My old Catholic school friend is studying to become a priest. This was on his Facebook.

Points 49
Comments 2
Views 2610

UPDATE: "If this is your dog, GO FUCK YOURSELF."

Points 36
Comments 8
Views 1772

He would last three days at the most.

Points 67
Comments 20
Views 238

Not a lot has changed in three years, besides Beau's coat.

Points 11
Comments 2
Views 1162

Wise words from everyone's favorite late night douche.

Points 36
Comments 11
Views 1203

The new Doctor flipped Robin Hood the bird.

Points 43
Comments 22
Views 9653

@BryanMozo and I are both in our mid-20s, but this still happened the other night.

Points 53
Comments 8
Views 2007

I like that Netflix occasionally checks to make sure I'm still alive.

Points 38
Comments 39
Views 523

After about a 1/2 dozen trips to my college's various offices, this is my internal dialogue.

Points 30
Comments 19
Views 1338

MRW I check my phone this morning.

Points 24
Comments 11
Views 155

My unemployment lasted less than 36 hours.

Points 48
Comments 6
Views 3306

So I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix...

Points 76
Comments 29
Views 4949

Willam is my spirit animal.

Points 36
Comments 19
Views 1547

A Public Service Announcement

Points 45
Comments 52
Views 141

MRW Chris Addison showed up at the end of tonight's Doctor Who

Points 20
Comments 17
Views 2695

Doge sitting this weekend.

Points 44
Comments 9
Views 1367

I hope Joan Rivers pulls through because if she doesn't my dad will be winning our Celeb Death Pool with only 5 months to go.

Points 16
Comments 8
Views 1562

I just woke Beauregard up from a bad dream.

Points 11
Comments 5
Views 100
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