secretalterego

1533 pts ยท February 20, 2017


I was like six when that was on the big screen. Stained my pants so bad the next pair I bought was stained too.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

2/2 pillow dreams but people 20 feet away said they heard my fist contacting with her face so I had to be hitting her hard

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1/2I got jumped once by someone high af and they were feeling no pain. They didn't react when I hit back and it felt like those punching a

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Memes

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Imagine a flock of them in the wild.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Oh it's a show? Well crap I thought it was a remake of one of my favs and was saving for Halloween. Thanks now I'll go marathon it.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Isn't that what all the painting them is about? When I was a kid we used the painted hardboiled eggs.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He has a heart butt.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you're telling me if you were throwing knives in the living room, you wouldn't be responsible for any damage that happened.

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

To the rich. Handmade goods take ages to make and most people, used to cheap manufactured goods, would be shocked at the cost.

7 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

My pal Smileybutt had iridescent blue teeth and grew large, vanished, and 2 weeks later baby spiders rained gently from the ceiling

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Heating pad or might cook the cat. And possibly the home, well done.

7 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

He was playing with the other monkey's butt. The other monkey didn't like it. Not violent, harassment.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

The kid feeding the crows? They are carrion eaters, the kid's snack looks a little bit bloody and so does his mouth. He isn't feeding bread.

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

They don't do well in captivity.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Who died from malnutrition.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I once knew a millionaire who had to give his lion to the zoo because he couldn't afford to feed it. When I worked at a vet I knew two cubs

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thailand's "local touch" was that a fucking pun?

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

WTF No! They look like newly hatched brine shrimp! The people look like seamonkeys! The artwork was real!

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll be the fun at parties "actually" person and say knit yes, crochet no. Crochet can't be duplicated by machine.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Yes, vigilantism is a dangerous path.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I had one that would pull up bedding so he could make a wading pool of piss without anything soaking it up. Then he'd chill in it.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And many of them are parents.

7 years ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 1

Umm, pick one for who pays. Either way, the owner illegally parked car is not a victim, they commited a crime by blocking a fire hydrant.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I have decided that deep within the sands of the middle east lay the cursed bones of a dragon that craves blood.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have rainbows from a prism every afternoon and a toddler. This is my life.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What is an ass-fine?

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The people with their homes on fire while some ass parked illegally and tried to block resources that could save lives?

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Stupid non-twine holding nitwit.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Looked like it was giving the sand a raspberry on its belly.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0