sallyface

501 pts ยท December 26, 2013


Used to work in a craft shop. The cinnamon smell of the stupid scented pinecones they kept in a giant bin haunts me to this day, 25 years later. Fake cinnamon scent puts me into a blind rage.

1 year ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Blink motherfucker! Blink!

1 year ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

3rd degree burns and major reconstructive surgery on her groin. For some reason that makes it so much worse to have your cooter damn near burned off.

1 year ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

#28 I once had a plug that would put "Thank you for supporting small businesses" stickers on his bags of green. Good marketing, made me a return customer.

1 year ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Gesticulation - making gestures with your hands while talking. And one of my favorite words.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I will not

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Holy shit, yes! Got it at RedBox years ago, listed under 'comedy', had no idea what it was. Was extremely surprised, but it's one of my favorite movies by him.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've been on maternity leave since September, today was my first day back. I have no idea what I even do anymore.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't even drink beer, but now I want to know how open one with a piece of paper.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I have a 2 month old, and a stack of these bad boys from the hospital. The 'older' ones are softer, so guessing they get softer the more you wash them.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My 18 year old still has one in her room. Works great.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The problem, to me, is that the public didn't consent to be a part of your kink, and that's not ok. Do what you want, but don't involve outside people

2 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 1

Had a baby by C-section 6 weeks ago. Husband and I could see everything through the reflection off the OR light above me. We watched the whole thing, it was pretty cool seeing our daughter come out. Only thing that made us both jump was when they broke my water and this huge gush came out.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You just made me feel things over an operating system. Why?!?!

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

My fiance is 36, and mentioned how he's always wanted Heelys, but won't get them b/c he's self conscious. You best believe he's getting those shoes for his birthday.

2 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

My crotchety old lady cat hates everyone, except for my boyfriend. I think I knew he was the one when she ran up him, demanded pets, then jumped into his lap and laid down for a nap. She doesn't even do that shit to me lol.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Wait til you discover pterodactyl porn

3 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

There's a town in Alaska that they wanted to name Ptarmigan, but they weren't sure of the spelling, so they just named it Chicken.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've got a 10 foot rainbow sloth and a 5 foot unicorn in my living room, all bc I get sad thinking about putting them in the dumpster

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've got a Pho King Noodles by me.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Teachers are allowed to watch porn

3 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 0

My bf shaves his entire body, including ass, and he did long before I met him. He's a hairy motherfucker.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lady here. I don't shave, but I do regularly get Brazilians. I do it for the ass eating and hygiene reasons, same as the other commenters 1/

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My great grandmother had a black poodle that she named Little Black Sambo of Curlydom

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got my Mirena taken out about 7 years ago. Since then my periods last 3 days, and I have very little cramping. Hope you get the same!

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

His name is pspspspspsp

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah. I have a rainbow sticker with "What the fuck do you think freedom means, Earl" on it that I'm afraid to put on my car for this reason

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0