malackey

690 pts ยท August 19, 2014


Yeah, it's that last one.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And titted back to the kitchen, to check breastily on the eggs.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

That'll buff out.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Get inside me.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not a physics major, but is there even enough air trapped in the bottle to force the cork out?

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

It's right in the fucking picture.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bags store in the freezer a lot easier than the cartons or jugs, when you need to lay in a 4 month supply. Living up north is a challenge.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How does a sundress prevent you from using a condom?

6 years ago | Likes 169 Dislikes 4

Citation, please?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It sure didn't. That animal was giving a lot of clear signs that it was pissed.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

There is a 0% chance the author of that twitter is not a man.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 36

I'll miss you.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you've injured yourself so badly you can hardly wrangle a band-aid, please stop and just call 911 before you die.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

Yes.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

mmmmm, unseasoned.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No. You have time to spit out the suspect drink, force yourself to purge anything you did consume, and get yourself help/attention.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, I mean, you don't think he's seen one in real life, right?

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Yeah, can't imagine why anyone would cheat on him. He seems really chill, and sweet, and not at all paranoid and controlling.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Yes, but what real good has he done? Saying, "Yeah, our bad", then proceeding to do nothing to fix the problem isn't actually helping anyone

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Amen. If the commute is more than 45 minutes, save the time, money, and fuel - just break up over the phone.

7 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

That was such an insult to the character, and the actress.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What, are they supposed to put him in a Brady jersey?

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

The Gang Meets A Robot.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yay pornier versions of existing IP.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

With the manure fork?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"They can't do the stuff we didn't bother to teach them! IDIOTS!" Honestly, fuck off Baby Boomers.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Way more than slightly.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nope. We just communicate well, and have realistic expectations of one another.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I've got 6 years in long-distance. Three months apart? That's a fucking dream to me.

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Three months? *dies laughing*

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0