lostambition

18296 pts · February 20, 2015


Do you know what is the leading cause of dry skin? A towel! I see you figured out that I am a dad.

The artist is Vitas. I believe the song is Opera 2 or something like that. Great song and dude has great range.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Feline infectious peritonitis. There’s 2 forms of it. Either form though is fatal and in most cases progresses quickly.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

v

7 years ago | Likes 201 Dislikes 3

Seems like you do ?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*jumps to other side* *slaps roof of car* *slaps roof of car* *slaps roof of car*

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You also get this before you talk to them

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Instead of saying "the john", I call my toilet "the jim". It sounds better when I say I went to the jim after being gone for a while.

9 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

Is that the calculated amount of minutes you have before your phone dies?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you round up 37, it rounds up the number 40.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Mario's adventure seems better than mine.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I love you. You love me. I'm gonna hustle for all your money.

9 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

I love this! The orchestra helps my mind envision an adventure! My inner child turns it into a Tom and Jerry episode... which is great!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

/a/fRTBI

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Haha yeah it was a horribly implemented joke so it's mostly my fault on that one

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What is this equation? Are they calling this wall an A hole?

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

Looks like the mannequin challenge is his fetish actually.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

/a/WV6JE

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cool! Now I can give my sister a pearl necklace! ...What? Why are you guys looking at me like that?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That peanut butter hair still looks better than my natural hair

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Okay. I thought #3 was a floating head.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Then you tell them again in the second interview.

10 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

As a father, agreed. Even the supposed "flushable wipes" are not flushable.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's that greasy haired mother fucker in the behind the red head, isn't it? I see you asshole!

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

That's true. From experience, those shoes do not usually have the best grip. I would expect more for shoes that cost over $100.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Same here. I wanted to see if he stuck the landing or personally gave the ground a birthday present with his face.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Zoidberg just needs to get good at blackjack. Then he can get hookers.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*slow clap*

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0