fgvbttd

739 pts · November 27, 2017


Let’s not forget the stripping Oscar from accounting. ‘You can tell by the way a woman drinks a soda that she is a good dancer.’

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

You got me. I found an Instagram model I want to follow and get lifestyle tips from.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I tried so hard...but the occasional chuckle wasn’t worth trudging through the wet cement they call a plot.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

My history professor did slide shows with all the questions based on those exact slides. He put them online, but people still failed.

7 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

High school drama coach tried to force a kiss between me and my sister’s boyfriend. He had fun finding a replacement 2 weeks before opening.

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Now I understand why Harry couldn’t grab one of those letters.

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

He’s been around for 20 years, the minimum length of time for something to be absorbed into the public psyche and accepted as permanent.

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Take a gammy at my nummy-nums.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The post doesn’t say dad of the year though, it just says he rescued his daughter, making him super, and it probably made a great memory.

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I hate being talked to in the store so if someone offers me ANYTHING, I ‘assume’ they weren’t talking to me and walk faster.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Doesn’t make it any less wholesome.

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Not if they got her in a trade; Pokémon Name Rater doesn’t do trades.

7 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 7

Before they go to the chief, Miguel apologizes for the girl in Barcelona and it’s implied he ‘planted the flag’ before Tulio could.

7 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Something something tasty with ketchup...

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Yet none of us could ever measure up to a man like Lord Farquaad.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Men like him are in short supply.

7 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Nat Geo has divers kneeling on the sea floor and notes which direction the sharks approached from. 8/10 times, from the back. They know.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Do you have change for a $10? I don’t have any smaller bills...

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Trying to find a toilet before your body reenacts the Purge...

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The commercials warned us about what would happen...

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I take every septim, hoard everything like a dragon, and have more money than I can spend.

7 years ago | Likes 164 Dislikes 0

First one to finish a test, pulled out a book to read, teacher said I must have cheated and took the book away. I’m just a fast reader.

7 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 0

66 upvotes, 6 downvotes; I am powerless.

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Anyone going to mention Gatsby was shot in a pool, he wasn’t afraid of them? ...No?

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I got my nurses small clip-on lotions as a thank you when I was in the hospital. My friend buys them a box of donuts whenever she’s in.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oldest of 5, can confirm: my little sister talked for 3 hours without any input from anyone and only stopped because we stopped at Wendy’s.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It’s an improper method of communication likely used to inflict emotional damage on the parent and reestablish their sense of independence.

7 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 3

Agencies don’t operate based on common sense and morals though. If they’re deciding what’s good and bad, nobody is safe except yes-men.

7 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Who decides what’s bad? Do they decide after they have the information?

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2