awkfaceawk

2817 pts · March 9, 2020


I think I could fit a gun in that pouch

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So does traveling to an interview…

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It’s not their lunch though now is it? If you steal lunches you accept the risks involved.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

“Omg this is poisoning and a booby trap and illegal!” Who fucking cares. They get what they deserve. Spoken like some damn lunch thieves.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

The fuck?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Cheapo extinguisher with a plastic pin. They have a tendency to fall out. Had it happen once in the cab of my truck while driving. Not fun.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Am I the only one who read this to the tune of that damn farmers insurance commercial?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pluto isn’t a planet anymore, std’s are sti’s now, god I’m getting old.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This is one of those situations where you tell them to go pound sand. You are not financially liable for their fuckup.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That’s not gonna stop the burning sensation from his std.

4 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 2

Never imply ownership of a dildo. They see enough on X-ray to know what they are, a little discretion would be more professional.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Grinches On Parade

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Guess it’s time to turn Texas into a glass parking lot.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Seems the last 5yrs the number of jagoffs driving with high beams 100% of the time & who’ll never turn them off has increased tenfold.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Told her free = me breaking the window. She scoffed. Told her to just call cops next time. Feel bad for the kid having such parents.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lady locked her infant in the car middle of winter. Arrived & unlocked within 5min. Complains that I’m charging for an emergency lockout. 1/

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

After twenty years of practice, I’m sure they’ve zeroed in on the best techniques for dealing with these assholes. Oh look, vacancies too!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You know…floating a couple squares of toilet paper in the water to break surface tension beforehand solves the whole problem.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I want one!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Clearly they didn’t watch Jurassic Park, otherwise they would’ve stopped to think if they should.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mine didn’t really speak for the first year or so after I adopted them. Now they won’t shut up.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I’m gonna run you over when I come back down

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And this comment for involved but unaware.

4 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

“I don’t know what to do with my hands”

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This drives me nuts. The statues didn’t “turn gold”. The constant touching hasn’t allowed oxidation to remain and discolor those spots.

4 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 4

Correct. The dosage for a 250lb jackass is approximately five times that of the horse; the only way to guarantee the problem stays gone.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yeah…but now you have to sanitize your car.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2