autopia

60190 pts · May 30, 2012


I'm just here for the free food.

Socks with sandals? Put him down, Karen.

8 years ago | Likes 505 Dislikes 5

Please, let him out. He misses the sun.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would not even trust the most skilled surgeon to do this to me.

8 years ago | Likes 725 Dislikes 5

Unless you’re in England, then by all means stay in the left lane.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That was satisfyingly in sync.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

“Huh, I guess they ran out of the other ones and had to use a crash test dum- OH MY GOD IT’S MOVING!”

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You can’t just ask these questions and not expect an answer like this.

8 years ago | Likes 86 Dislikes 1

When they make commercials bragging about a truck’s towing ability, this is what they need to show.

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

As an elephant, I wish I COULD forget. That’s why I drink.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Beep boops sadly for eternity.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Doesn’t disappoint.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can some link to the story about the kid who had to wear a butt plug because his mom thought Satan would rape him?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Every Hollywood action movie director ever

8 years ago | Likes 137 Dislikes 1

“If you’re an element your whole goal in life is to achieve the electron configuration of a noble gas.” - my chemistry professor.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When chemists write nursery rhymes.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That fight was already lost before it had even begun.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pretty sure that when they hire cartoon writers they are also scanning for psychics.

8 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

How long will this account last? Place your bets here!

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Actually my grenade launcher has become sentient. EVERYBODY RUN!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You have a good point but hear me out; Jesus has two lives.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

By the look in his eyes that alcoholism and isn’t an act.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

The best kind of awareness.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Yes. I’m confused why this is a question.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe she has a fantastic ass? Who knows. We haven’t seen that side of her.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This would be funny if it didn’t hurt so much.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0