astcell

6764 pts · July 25, 2011


I wish this was in a format I could easily print out. Love this.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We agreed to not have kids. We have dogs. Because if they piss us off we can gas them.

- we love dogs but that’s the story we tell everyone who sticks their nose into our business.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Remember the 666 rule.

Girls want a guy over 6 ft
With a 6 figure income
And at least 6 inches.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 4

Warn? You make it sound like they’d be unwelcome.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

He’s sending them to a spot to best help them. Obviously their home city didn’t work.No one wants to send them to where they’d be unwelcome

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 8

Like the weatherman is right more than 50% of the time anyway.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 9

Because… NEW IPHONE!!

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 26

I thought that one was a girl.

4 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Flip a coin to see which hooman stays home instead.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

That was bananas.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I get to work based on traffic. If people bug me at 7:58am I get 15 mins overtime. Same on my way out the door.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

We get nowhere with this because everybody makes it look like a healthcare issue but it is an insurance and payment issue.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 18

Needs Ein. :-)

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Separate business and pleasure.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

He also took away gun rights for NFA firearms built after May 1986.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Don’t ask yourself why there are so many clowns, ask yourself why you are still going to the circus.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

No one will remember in four years. They never do.

5 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 1

Now do the butcher and the candlestick maker and sell the trio to ikea to decorate children’s rooms.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

My ringtone!

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I used to be a maritime photographer. Saw this ship and got all excited. NOBODY I knew understood what it meant! Today I’m vindicated!

5 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 3

Are these for sale?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I want a game two people can play at the same time, that does not involve killing, and isn’t sports.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Hey that’s a tune I whistle while barbecuing.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Just watched the 2015 movie called Heist where a man hijacks a bus to pay for daughters medical treatment.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

And here I thought it was a burger and some fries.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1