arkaboop

4059 pts ยท February 7, 2012


"Goddamnit. We're getting too many repeat customers with all this Fentanyl we're selling. It's really inconvenient and distratcing me from my reading time. How can we make sure people don't come back for more, ever?"

Said literally no drug dealer in history.

6 months ago | Likes 195 Dislikes 1

It's been more than 15 years. If I started wearing wigs now, people would just think I was having a mid life crisis. And I had one of those 4 years ago so the time has definitely passed.

6 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

As a british citizen just old enough to remember a time before the Good Friday accords, this is one of the most shameful parts of recent british history. Calling that period of time "The Troubles" is quite frankly a fucking offensive understament

6 months ago | Likes 352 Dislikes 8

Call me old fashioned but, even with the safety guard, I'm not overly keen on the idea of having a sharp toothed sprocket and chain directly beneath my chin when cycling. Feels like the 'before' story in a documentary about face transplants.

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wait... My 20yr old son matches all these criteria! Have I inadvertently raised a leftist commie pinko?? I knew his mother shouldn't have been chucking back that Tylenol when she was pregnant!

6 months ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

I've been balding since my late 20s. I never once considered the possibility of wearing a wig and only telling people when they were intoxicated or high. I feel like I've missed out on years of comedy moments

6 months ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Travis Kelce probably disagrees (also /s)

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I have less than zero interest in Ms Swifts music, and even though she's a billionaire, she seems like a decent human being. That's a rare and valued position these days. Hopefully she continues that way. Who knows, maybe in 50 years people will talk about her with the respect with which they talk about Dolly Parton these days.

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Because by telling the girls they have to cover up, they're implying that their semi clad bodies are inherently sexual and something to be ashamed of/hidden away. Whereas the boys bodies aren't. It's a hugely sexist double standard to impose at any age, but especially gross to force onto 9-10 year olds who just want to swim and have fun.

6 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

"Big" surprise. I see what you did there.

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean, if he's not joining up, that means there a space for mama to throw herself into. If she feels that passionately about it, get marching mum!

6 months ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 0

As interesting as I find stories like this, and as much as Space in general utterly fascinates me, my response is "And?..."

If there's no practical application and it's not going to make groceries cheaper, then does it really matter?

"Scientists have discovered our entire universe is a hologram and we are all just cosmological bacteria living inside the large intestine of a giant, intergalactic space cat. You still have to hang up your washing and go to work tomorrow"

6 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 9

I a goth
Me a goth
You a goth
They a goth
We all goth

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Happy and comfortable? With themselves? As a person?? Genuinely disgusting stuff

6 months ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

I was always drawn to Rosey Quim

6 months ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

He was a foot guy too?? The more I hear about this Epstein fellow, the less I like him

6 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

*Fortress of Solitude intensifies*

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

6 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I see The Duke Boys finally got that Red Bull sponsorship

6 months ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I'd be surprised if there were two of her

6 months ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 0

The solution for foot guys with lower back problems

6 months ago | Likes 121 Dislikes 1

She asked about the gas mileage of its car, and it was atrocious

6 months ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 2

*Ed Gein likes your post*

6 months ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

That was the joke, yes. I guess I should have held up my joke flag

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'm a 44 year old man. I think I might be a bit too old for him now.

6 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Not to be "that guy" but the golf course was Scottish. The comedian is Simon Brodkin and he's from London

6 months ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I'm no medical expert, but aren't they supposed to be under the doctors hat whilst they're performing surgery?

They're nevre going to impress that famous hospital reviewer this way

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How is the pilot supposed to see out the front without a window? Seems like very poor design to me

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

The offical term is "Flag Shaggers"

6 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

And here I was all this time thinking they gave this dude that chin just it was "masculine looking"

6 months ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0