ZeroTA

2587 pts · November 12, 2015


I feel like this story led up to a plot twist but just kinda stopped.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When test volunteers die on the first couple space flights, you need ice water for blood to carry on. Or a dark sense of humor. Or both.

6 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

That’s a bigass scope for 25 yds.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I stumbled into the only open restaurant, near death after my escape. “Hello, welcome to Applebee’s.”

6 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

If someone died, they’ll still be dead tomorrow.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

“Sorry kids, ol’ Batman had too much pumpkin pie. He’s just gonna lay down for a minute.”

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This looks like something my mom would share of FB. This, and ‘Facebook is trying to BAN this picture! Share if you support our veterans!’

6 years ago | Likes 398 Dislikes 3

Our Ace is awesome, but it’s a mom-n-pop store that stayed the same after Ace bought it.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

“I’d say it behind your back, but I’ve only got half a tank of gas!”

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I’m just in it for the discount. But we’re having a little get-together Tuesday night...

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nah, the Asians aren’t playing violin.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pretty sure that means ‘do not feed after midnight’.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I had adult braces for almost 3 years. Getting them off feels like you’ve been paroled.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Frazetta didn’t believe in skipping leg day.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A killer among us.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kid me: whatever dad, that song’s not about drugs. Adult me: ooooh, yeah that’s totally about drugs.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Put on your best Duck Dynasty shirt baby, we’re goin to Cracker Barrel.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey, he could be on my softball team.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He’s cultivating mass.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They’ll probably unbolt it and put the actual neck on later.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And no one is forced to be a waiter/waitress. Don’t like it, get a different job.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Looks like my lab/shepherd mix. She thought she was a lap dog. Nothing like a surprise 70# cannonball.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Married 15. Was supposed to “only” install cabinets in laundry room. Redid the entire room and put shiplap on the bedroom wall.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Eh, I’m at quality over quantity. Rather have a few good craft brews than pound 20 Bud Lights. Unless I’m camping.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now you gotta do it every year.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

# 14: you wanna be the king, you gotta beat the king. Yoshi on the Bullet Bike stops for no one.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I always said if I was on Idol, I’d blow em out with The Beast and the Harlot. I can’t sing worth a shit, but, you know. If I could.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I vote Preacher. +1

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I realized Santa and ol’ dad had the same handwriting. Dad’s like, “Yeah, it’s me.”

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’m like that for the first five minutes, until I actually start working.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0