I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your Roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.
That joke... Cod damnit
Beast. Cheers lad
You disgust me. Which is the only reason why I left a comment here.
Yes?
Upvote, upvote, downvote. Never feel bad for striking gold Mr Dime
Thanks babes
Pay attention please
Then he'll nuke you eventually
Nope. I'm amazing
Kedge the Ledge. Nah not much happening now
Kev! Now he's defending his argument with well structured points! Yeah! Total nerd, right?!
Hey Kevin! Come look! This guy's a total nerd!
The patient has dogitis which turns him into a dog-man which is easily cured if caught early. The son fucks the patient. Fuck you M. Night
Stupid dog getting owned. But it turned out twas I being the stupid dog being owned
Pineapple, clock, lazy Mexicans. Happy?
Anyway I'm rambling. Thanks for your time. Staggard
Liking dick not the avocado thing
Seems like the kind of thing you'd know though right?
In saying that I thought I wouldn't like avocado but I did once I tried it
Not that there's anything wrong with his dick just I'm not gay
His chocolate milk. Not his dick
I'll take his?
"I'm going to pound that poon till noon". Then it just isn't that great
I always found planning sex to be it's downfall. Spontaneous is the best but if you go in there like: 1/2
One of the Quarantine films?
Our hats have skulls on them!
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Uh oh indeed. What are the backups of?
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