3671 pts ยท February 2, 2014
I have just discovered that I really like jellybeans.
Day one of my captivity: transferred to a new internment camp. Will murder new guards and escape as soon as practical.
Voice of experience?
I have daughters, too. You have to close your eyes when you tell them "No." And buy a shotgun. You'll need it before too long.
I have that card table.
DUDE!!! Give us a spoiler alert!
A Jewish Ham!
He flew across the street, smacked into the tree, and dropped the branch on his head. What is your definition of poor engineering controls?
And tachyons. Lots of tachyons.
Those things have just done wonders for my sinus issues.
It's when the rear wheels break traction and cause the rear to oscillate. Like how a fish moves its tail to swim.
Compost that stuff. Apple cores are legally "litter" here.
Well done, sir.
I'm on city sewer and I hate those damn things. The city does too. Slowly dribbling concrete down the shitter would be cheaper.
It will be. My kids are a bit too young to get it. They botch the talking ice cube joke.
14F tonight here in Dallas.
Mine too.
Please be fire. Please be fire. Please be... YEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
The collective horking thing is supposedly a primate skill to prevent mass poisoning. Try to appreciate it that way next time.
If I'm at Chick E Cheese, I'm already well into the hair of the dog.
Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made it out of lead
This! So this!!
Hard to read while she's sitting on your face.
My 4yo wakes up at 6:45am to somehow kick me in the head while trying to cuddle with Mommy.
Have a 4 year old. Can confirm.
As someone who can't stand noise and flashing lights but has two small children, this is amazing.
Having been in a taxi, it's half-assing its impression. But they should be able to make it honk madly when the light turns.
Because the dog had a solid grip on his testicles?
Wait, this is real and not some kind of crazy butt-ception caused by overly tight yoga pants?
Something tells me "as fast as possible" is probably pretty slow.
Day one of my captivity: transferred to a new internment camp. Will murder new guards and escape as soon as practical.
Voice of experience?
I have daughters, too. You have to close your eyes when you tell them "No." And buy a shotgun. You'll need it before too long.
I have that card table.
DUDE!!! Give us a spoiler alert!
A Jewish Ham!
He flew across the street, smacked into the tree, and dropped the branch on his head. What is your definition of poor engineering controls?
And tachyons. Lots of tachyons.
Those things have just done wonders for my sinus issues.
It's when the rear wheels break traction and cause the rear to oscillate. Like how a fish moves its tail to swim.
Compost that stuff. Apple cores are legally "litter" here.
Well done, sir.
I'm on city sewer and I hate those damn things. The city does too. Slowly dribbling concrete down the shitter would be cheaper.
It will be. My kids are a bit too young to get it. They botch the talking ice cube joke.
14F tonight here in Dallas.
Mine too.
Please be fire. Please be fire. Please be... YEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
The collective horking thing is supposedly a primate skill to prevent mass poisoning. Try to appreciate it that way next time.
If I'm at Chick E Cheese, I'm already well into the hair of the dog.
Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made it out of lead
This! So this!!
Hard to read while she's sitting on your face.
My 4yo wakes up at 6:45am to somehow kick me in the head while trying to cuddle with Mommy.
Have a 4 year old. Can confirm.
As someone who can't stand noise and flashing lights but has two small children, this is amazing.
Having been in a taxi, it's half-assing its impression. But they should be able to make it honk madly when the light turns.
Because the dog had a solid grip on his testicles?
Wait, this is real and not some kind of crazy butt-ception caused by overly tight yoga pants?
Something tells me "as fast as possible" is probably pretty slow.