RedNightHawk

46517 pts · February 11, 2015


I'm a cold Italian pizza, I could use a lemon squeezer.

I can understand why it feels that way, but men who would be kings are often surprised how little it takes for their plans to lead to their ruin. Our imaginations need to work in our favor; we can't afford to let them work against us.

5 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

Then when his dad found out, he beat him with jumper cables...

11 months ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

You can see it at the 3:22 mark on the YouTube video. I don't think she said anything verbally, and just let her body language say it all.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

No. Least ways I'm not. And I doubt eldercactus is either. Which leaves you in the we, and I don't think you are either. So, no.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Threw this together using improper tools, so forgive the issues with it:

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

It's always the ones you least inspect.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They say there's treasure waiting at the top, but I'm not falling for that.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Everyone is feeling the squeeze

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Solidarity.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Years ago I bought a smart watch from BestBuy. They were having a free screen protector promotion, but you had to get them to apply it to get it for free, so I did so. Later I found out they'd changed their return policy so stuff like smartwatches couldn't be returned if the package had been opened, and I wondered if that was the reason for the 'free' screen protector promotion, considering it required them applying it in store after purchase.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

God in the comments, in a whiny voice, "But that's my job."

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yep, ban book donations and the prison library to create a problem, then sell them a solution.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. It's short-sighted charging prisoners or their families for communication. The more anchored someone can feel to the outside world, the better their chances of fitting into that world down the road, in my opinion. This has the weird effect of putting them in a solitary confinement of sorts.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thanks. They (rightly, I suppose) slapped a politics tag on it, which doesn't help.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Be right back, just gotta turn off my modem...

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

See them tumbling down,
Pledging their love to the ground,
Lonely but free I'll be found,
Drifting along with the tumblin' tu—
Orangutans!?!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

All I can say is if you start getting calls saying they're trying to reach you about your car's warranty, they're not.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That's the stuff Legends are made of

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's some yuk yuk on gold right there.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Reminds me of the Stephen Wright joke: 'I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today."'

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"She webbed madamely down the stairs..."

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I realize I used the phrase in an usual way, but how could I resist titling it that when I saw this:

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Luck was a lady that day

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0